Group photo
Author:
SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (14,912)
Posts: 10,159
3/21/10 7:39 P

Reply
Here's an idea for this forum. LEt's try and think of the funniest MOVIE we have seen. I don't mean the ones on TV, but movie theatre movies. Ones y ou rent, buy or watch in the theatre.

My favourite is one called:
HOT LEAD, AND COLD FEET
It's a Disney movie and the guy who does Goofey's voice is in it. It is hillarious.

Also, please try to keep it clean so nobody gets stressed.

Sheri Adams
SparkPeople's Official Stress Relief Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=32500

All True Christians On SparkPeople teams.sparkpeople.com/AllChristiansO
nSparkPeople


 current weight: 276.1 
311
298.25
285.5
272.75
260
JGMK55's Photo JGMK55 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (7,972)
Posts: 9,331
3/21/10 3:09 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Hilarious! Thanks for sharing this one.

“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (14,912)
Posts: 10,159
1/28/10 3:06 A

Reply
and oooooooooooohhhhh how true that one is. LOL, they are the only ones who don't know how to give back lol hehehehe

Sheri

Sheri Adams
SparkPeople's Official Stress Relief Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=32500

All True Christians On SparkPeople teams.sparkpeople.com/AllChristiansO
nSparkPeople


 current weight: 276.1 
311
298.25
285.5
272.75
260
MINNIE's Photo MINNIE Posts: 18,807
1/17/10 1:19 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked
About his bill and the barber replies, "I cannot accept money from you.
I'm doing community service this week." The florist was pleased and
Left the shop.


When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a
'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the
Barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing
Community service this week." The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card
And a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries
To pay his bill, the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you.
I'm doing community service this week." The professor is very happy
And leaves the shop.


The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you'
Card and a dozen different books, such as "How to Improve Your Business"
And "Becoming More Successful."


Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill
The barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing
Community service this week." The Congressman is very happy and leaves
The shop.


The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen
Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the
Citizens of our country and the members of our Congress.


Keep your EYE ON THE BALL. What is the goal?Will this action get you closer?
slowly but surely.

zip ya' lip (please see pic)

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right." Henry Ford

God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.

face your stuff. don't stuff your face.

be so busy improving yourself that you have no time to find fault with others


 current weight: 139.6 
143
139.75
136.5
133.25
130
ZANNACHAN's Photo ZANNACHAN Posts: 13,741
1/7/10 12:34 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

Zanna (or Zannachan), from Michigan
Zanna--RavenPuff
Elf-Elanor
Aria Sparrowhawk, elite artificer, elf
C.A.M.O Private First Class

BLC 25-39--C.A.M.O.
BLC 19-24- Azure Destinations
BLC 16-18 Wysteria Wolves

My fitbit id: www.fitbit.com/user/238RGN


 Pounds lost: 1.4 
0
20
40
60
80
MOMMA48's Photo MOMMA48 Posts: 643,055
1/5/10 8:26 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

Teams:
STRESSED OUT WOMEN GETTIN' HEALTHY
teams.sparkpeople.com/StressedOut
WomenGettin'Healthy

TREADMILL, RUNNERS, WALKERS teams.sparkpeople.com/Treadmill
LIVING LIFE ON A SHOESTRING teams.sparkpeople.com/LLife
FABULOUS~ ~40's~50's~ & UP! teams.sparkpeople.com/F4
AUTOIMMUNE CONDITIONS teams.sparkpeople.com/AI
RAINBOW OF FAITH,CARE&HOPE FOR CURE OF CANCER teams.sparkpeople.com/RFH


 current weight: -5.0  under
10
5
0
-5
-10
SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (14,912)
Posts: 10,159
12/4/09 1:44 A

Reply
roflol

Sheri

Sheri Adams
SparkPeople's Official Stress Relief Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=32500

All True Christians On SparkPeople teams.sparkpeople.com/AllChristiansO
nSparkPeople


 current weight: 276.1 
311
298.25
285.5
272.75
260
MINNIE's Photo MINNIE Posts: 18,807
11/23/09 10:53 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?" The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."


WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKED FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE

This is the winner:-

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe “'Go to hell.”'

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts tequila, one part lime


Keep your EYE ON THE BALL. What is the goal?Will this action get you closer?
slowly but surely.

zip ya' lip (please see pic)

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right." Henry Ford

God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.

face your stuff. don't stuff your face.

be so busy improving yourself that you have no time to find fault with others


 current weight: 139.6 
143
139.75
136.5
133.25
130
SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (14,912)
Posts: 10,159
11/23/09 1:03 A

Reply
lol, a small warm-hearted insult every now and then never hurt anybody :P

Sheri

Sheri Adams
SparkPeople's Official Stress Relief Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=32500

All True Christians On SparkPeople teams.sparkpeople.com/AllChristiansO
nSparkPeople


 current weight: 276.1 
311
298.25
285.5
272.75
260
FITMAGR's Photo FITMAGR Posts: 461
11/22/09 11:24 P

Reply
Loved the insults! emoticon

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


 current weight: 197.4 
197.4
186.8
176.2
165.6
155
SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (14,912)
Posts: 10,159
10/30/09 9:42 A

Reply
Oh, it's good to laugh first thing, isn't it!

Sheri

Sheri Adams
SparkPeople's Official Stress Relief Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=32500

All True Christians On SparkPeople teams.sparkpeople.com/AllChristiansO
nSparkPeople


 current weight: 276.1 
311
298.25
285.5
272.75
260
MINNIE's Photo MINNIE Posts: 18,807
10/30/09 2:18 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
many truths. thanks.

Keep your EYE ON THE BALL. What is the goal?Will this action get you closer?
slowly but surely.

zip ya' lip (please see pic)

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right." Henry Ford

God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.

face your stuff. don't stuff your face.

be so busy improving yourself that you have no time to find fault with others


 current weight: 139.6 
143
139.75
136.5
133.25
130
SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (14,912)
Posts: 10,159
10/30/09 12:25 A

Reply
Reason that God Created Eve...now I'm a Christian and I chuckle at these :)

God worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

God knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate and hand him the TV remote.

God knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would therefore need Eve to get one for him.

God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist or haircut appointment for himself.

God knew that Adam would never be able to remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

As Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

And -- the number ONE reason that God created Eve...

When God finished creating Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head and said, "I can do better than that."





WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:


Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.


Sheri
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Sheri Adams
SparkPeople's Official Stress Relief Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=32500

All True Christians On SparkPeople teams.sparkpeople.com/AllChristiansO
nSparkPeople


 current weight: 276.1 
311
298.25
285.5
272.75
260
JGMK55's Photo JGMK55 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (7,972)
Posts: 9,331
10/28/09 8:38 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Loved them all!

“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
MINNIE's Photo MINNIE Posts: 18,807
10/26/09 10:27 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
chuckling. yuck!

Keep your EYE ON THE BALL. What is the goal?Will this action get you closer?
slowly but surely.

zip ya' lip (please see pic)

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right." Henry Ford

God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.

face your stuff. don't stuff your face.

be so busy improving yourself that you have no time to find fault with others


 current weight: 139.6 
143
139.75
136.5
133.25
130
SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (14,912)
Posts: 10,159
10/26/09 12:20 A

Reply
HOW TO SELL TOOTHBRUSHES (editing because of swear words)

The kids filed back into class Monday morning..

They were very excited..

Their weekend assignment was to sell something,
then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off:
"I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next:
"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.
The teacher held her breath.

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk.

"$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher,

"How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand, I gave everybody who walked by a sample.

They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like crap!"
Then I would say, "It is crap. Wanna buy a toothbrush?


SMILE WIDE NOW!!!! :)
Sheri

Sheri Adams
SparkPeople's Official Stress Relief Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=32500

All True Christians On SparkPeople teams.sparkpeople.com/AllChristiansO
nSparkPeople


 current weight: 276.1 
311
298.25
285.5
272.75
260
SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (14,912)
Posts: 10,159
10/26/09 12:15 A

Reply
LOVE THEM MINNIE!!!!!!!!

Sheri

Sheri Adams
SparkPeople's Official Stress Relief Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=32500

All True Christians On SparkPeople teams.sparkpeople.com/AllChristiansO
nSparkPeople


 current weight: 276.1 
311
298.25
285.5
272.75
260
MINNIE's Photo MINNIE Posts: 18,807
10/25/09 6:28 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I have kleptomania,
but when it gets bad,
I take something for it.

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French and
It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss and
It's all organized by the Italians.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Welcome to Utah
Set your watch back 20 years.

In just two days from now,
tomorrow will be yesterday.

A bartender is just a pharmacist
with a limited inventory


The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

I may be schizophrenic,
but at least I have each other.

I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.

KENTUCKY:
Five million people,
Fifteen last names.

Dyslexics Have More Nuf.

In Memoriam

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is
worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went
unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey",
died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was
getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the
trouble started.



I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food.




money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.



Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol..



Corduroy pillows are making headlines!



I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,
not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.




Keep your EYE ON THE BALL. What is the goal?Will this action get you closer?
slowly but surely.

zip ya' lip (please see pic)

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right." Henry Ford

God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.

face your stuff. don't stuff your face.

be so busy improving yourself that you have no time to find fault with others


 current weight: 139.6 
143
139.75
136.5
133.25
130
DEEALLEN9100 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (11,268)
Posts: 1,948
10/25/09 6:57 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
LOVE THIS QUOTE.

 Pounds lost: 17.0 
0
10
20
30
40
MINNIE's Photo MINNIE Posts: 18,807
10/25/09 12:27 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
bright is bright. thanks.

Keep your EYE ON THE BALL. What is the goal?Will this action get you closer?
slowly but surely.

zip ya' lip (please see pic)

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right." Henry Ford

God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.

face your stuff. don't stuff your face.

be so busy improving yourself that you have no time to find fault with others


 current weight: 139.6 
143
139.75
136.5
133.25
130
JGMK55's Photo JGMK55 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (7,972)
Posts: 9,331
10/24/09 6:21 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Those quotes are something else! emoticon

“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (14,912)
Posts: 10,159
10/24/09 9:01 A

Reply
Thank you...it's coming. I'm home now. And here's a few giggles to relax your day and stretch your smile:


These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.


The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."

He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."


A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."


"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr


"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill


"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow


"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain


"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde


"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright


"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson


"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating


"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand


"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker


"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain


"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West


"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde


"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)


"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder


"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx


Sheri

Sheri Adams
SparkPeople's Official Stress Relief Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=32500

All True Christians On SparkPeople teams.sparkpeople.com/AllChristiansO
nSparkPeople


 current weight: 276.1 
311
298.25
285.5
272.75
260
JGMK55's Photo JGMK55 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (7,972)
Posts: 9,331
10/20/09 10:01 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Sheri, I hope you feel better very soon.

“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (14,912)
Posts: 10,159
10/19/09 1:04 A

Reply
Thank you Minnie. It's my current look, though my hair is about 3 inches longer. :)

Sheri
sorry, I'm at my parents home an hour away from mine...since Friday. I'm really sick with acute bronchitis. I'm calling my MD in the AM because he's here in the city and the anti-biotics I'm on and the prednisone are helping but the anti-biotics are gone and the bronchitis is not. I'll be home Tuesday to see my cat, Sammy, whom I miss dearly.

Sheri

Sheri Adams
SparkPeople's Official Stress Relief Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=32500

All True Christians On SparkPeople teams.sparkpeople.com/AllChristiansO
nSparkPeople


 current weight: 276.1 
311
298.25
285.5
272.75
260
MINNIE's Photo MINNIE Posts: 18,807
10/19/09 12:21 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
beautiful pic, sheri.

http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh/choc
olate.htm



Keep your EYE ON THE BALL. What is the goal?Will this action get you closer?
slowly but surely.

zip ya' lip (please see pic)

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right." Henry Ford

God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.

face your stuff. don't stuff your face.

be so busy improving yourself that you have no time to find fault with others


 current weight: 139.6 
143
139.75
136.5
133.25
130
SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (14,912)
Posts: 10,159
10/14/09 9:17 P

Reply
It's my favourite one! :D

Sheri

PECANS IN THE CEMETERY


On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

'One for you, one for me One for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate.. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, on e for me. One for you, one for me.'

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.'

The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.' When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard , 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'

The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord.'

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we' ll be done.'

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

Sheri

Sheri Adams
SparkPeople's Official Stress Relief Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=32500

All True Christians On SparkPeople teams.sparkpeople.com/AllChristiansO
nSparkPeople


 current weight: 276.1 
311
298.25
285.5
272.75
260
JGMK55's Photo JGMK55 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (7,972)
Posts: 9,331
10/14/09 6:41 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Too funny!

“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (14,912)
Posts: 10,159
10/14/09 1:42 A

Reply
Kitty Stutter!

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade
students. "Human Beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who
stuttered."

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"

"That must've been scary," said the teacher.

"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised his back, went Sssss, Sssss, Sssss" and before he could say "Sh*t," the Rottweiler ate him!

The teacher wet her pants laughing.

emoticon
Sheri emoticon

Sheri Adams
SparkPeople's Official Stress Relief Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=32500

All True Christians On SparkPeople teams.sparkpeople.com/AllChristiansO
nSparkPeople


 current weight: 276.1 
311
298.25
285.5
272.75
260
JGMK55's Photo JGMK55 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (7,972)
Posts: 9,331
10/12/09 10:06 A

Send Private Message
Reply
I can just picture this happening! emoticon

“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
FITITGIRL's Photo FITITGIRL Posts: 1,112
10/12/09 6:28 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
wow.. good one !

"If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it." -- Anthony J. D'Angelo


 current weight: 150.0 
150
147
144
141
138
SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (14,912)
Posts: 10,159
10/12/09 1:51 A

Reply
Anytime!

Sheri ;P



Sheri Adams
SparkPeople's Official Stress Relief Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=32500

All True Christians On SparkPeople teams.sparkpeople.com/AllChristiansO
nSparkPeople


 current weight: 276.1 
311
298.25
285.5
272.75
260
MINNIE's Photo MINNIE Posts: 18,807
10/12/09 1:27 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
thanks, sheri.

Keep your EYE ON THE BALL. What is the goal?Will this action get you closer?
slowly but surely.

zip ya' lip (please see pic)

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right." Henry Ford

God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.

face your stuff. don't stuff your face.

be so busy improving yourself that you have no time to find fault with others


 current weight: 139.6 
143
139.75
136.5
133.25
130
SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (14,912)
Posts: 10,159
10/12/09 1:26 A

Reply
THE PASTOR'S CAT...

This particular story just made me laugh. Every time I think about it,
the vision of that poor cat just amuses me to no end. Hope the story
leaves a bright spot in your day.

Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church.
He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was
afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc.

The kitty would not come down.

The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if
he tied a rope to his car and pulled it until the tree bent down, he
could then reach up and get the kitten.

That's what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car. He
then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be
bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved the car a
little further forward, the rope broke.

The tree went 'boing!' and the kitten instantly sailed through the air -
out of sight.

The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking
people if they'd seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten.

So he prayed, 'Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping,' and
went on about his business.

A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church
members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to
see cat food.

This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, 'Why
are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?' She replied, 'You
won't believe this,' and then told him how her little girl had been begging
her for a cat, but she kept refusing.

Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally
told her little girl, 'Well, if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it.' She
told the pastor, 'I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees,
and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw
it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky,
with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her.'

Lesson learned: Never underestimate the Power of God and His unique sense of humor."


Sheri

Sheri Adams
SparkPeople's Official Stress Relief Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=32500

All True Christians On SparkPeople teams.sparkpeople.com/AllChristiansO
nSparkPeople


 current weight: 276.1 
311
298.25
285.5
272.75
260
JGMK55's Photo JGMK55 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (7,972)
Posts: 9,331
10/11/09 7:19 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Too funny!

“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
MARPARMC SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (165,336)
Posts: 1,085
10/11/09 4:26 P

Send Private Message
Reply
wonderful. laughter is great for stress reduction thanks

 current weight: 158.0 
260
227.5
195
162.5
130
HOLISTICJESSICA's Photo HOLISTICJESSICA Posts: 8,144
10/11/09 10:57 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
HAHA!!! I loved those. I shared with my wife and sister-in-law and by the time we were done we were all laughing so hard. Thank you for sharing.

~Jessica~
Fit and Pregnant: www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individ
ual.asp?gid=69954

BLC 15 - 21, 39 Navy Ninjas


 January Minutes: 356
0
325
650
975
1300
SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (14,912)
Posts: 10,159
10/11/09 12:43 A

Reply
On Senility

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, ''Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?' Mabel answered, 'I have a suppository in my ear?' She pulled it out and stared at it.
Then she said, 'Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid.'


An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: 'Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50000. please advise.' The old man faxed back: 'Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.'

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.' Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'

THE SENILITY PRAYER
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.


Sheri

Sheri Adams
SparkPeople's Official Stress Relief Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=32500

All True Christians On SparkPeople teams.sparkpeople.com/AllChristiansO
nSparkPeople


 current weight: 276.1 
311
298.25
285.5
272.75
260
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other SparkPeople's Official Stress Relief Challenge Resources for Better Stress Management Posts

Topics:
Last Post:



Thread URL: https://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=12011x32500x28993083

Review our Community Guidelines