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8/21/09 12:12 P

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We actually will be discussing assertiveness etc., a little later one down the road :)

Sheri

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CHANGES4KAREN's Photo CHANGES4KAREN Posts: 493
8/20/09 3:22 P

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Excellent ideas and worth putting into practice. I sometimes am not assertive enough although I am way more assertive than the lump I used to be. I am looking forward to trying these out. Thank you.

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~Karen Ellen~

I AM INSPIRED BY THE COURAGE, GRACE, AND STAMINA OF THOSE AROUND ME HERE AT SPARK PEOPLE.


*As Lao Tsu has said*, "A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step."


SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
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7/16/09 10:07 P

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Oh Terri, don't mind my name. I get called all the SH's even by my aunts and uncles AND my mom. She is Shirley, I am Sheri and my Aunt, her sister is Sheila. When we 3 are chatting we always get each other's names mixed up. So don't worry lol.

Sheri

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TERRI289's Photo TERRI289 Posts: 24,795
7/16/09 5:14 P

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You are very welcome, Sheri. Sorry I misspelled your name before.

Enjoy your day and breathe in all that good karma that you have been spreading around!!

Terri

Exercise to be fit, not skinny.Eat to nourish your body.and Always Ignore the doubter, haters, and unhealthy examples that were feeding you. YOu are worth more than you realize." From the Fitness Facebook page..

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SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
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7/16/09 4:44 P

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You are very welcome Terri. I've been in counseling for about 16 years and in those years, I've collected over a dozen BINDERS of information. The ones I think will be helpful to this group, I will create up and pass along. Some won't fit but many will. Now that things are quiet at my end, I can get working on them. No storms, no phones ringing. You understand, I have no doubts! :) Thank you again.

Sheri Adams

Sheri Adams
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TERRI289's Photo TERRI289 Posts: 24,795
7/16/09 4:12 P

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Shery1969,

That was wonderful. So much to think about and mull over. I appreciate that you took the time to pass along something that will be very helpful to many of us, and especially me!! Thanks so much! emoticon emoticon

Edited by: TERRI289 at: 7/16/2009 (16:12)
Exercise to be fit, not skinny.Eat to nourish your body.and Always Ignore the doubter, haters, and unhealthy examples that were feeding you. YOu are worth more than you realize." From the Fitness Facebook page..

There is always reason to Dance!!
--From my birthday gift from a cherished friend



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SHERI1969's Photo SHERI1969 SparkPoints: (0)
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7/16/09 4:03 P

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Read the following list of traditional assumptions. Do any of them remind you of rules you learned as a child? Do you still believe that they apply to you as an adult? Listed below each traditional assumption is a statement of your legitimate rights as an adult. These rights are a reminder that you have a choice about what you believe and that you are no longer an unquestioning child, but rather an adult with alternatives.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 1
It is selfish to put your needs before other's needs.
YOUR LEGITIMATE RIGHT 1
You have a right to put yourself first.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 2
It is shameful to make mistakes. You should have an appropriate response for every occasion.
YOUR LEGITIMATE RIGHT 2
You have a right to make mistakes.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 3
If you can't convince others that your feelings are reasonable, then your feelings must be wrong.
YOUR LEGITIMATE RIGHT 3
You have a right to be the final judge of your feelings and accept them as legitimate.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 4
You should respect the views of others, especially if they are in a position of authority. Keep your differences of opinions to yourself. Listen and learn.
YOUR LEGITIMATE RIGHT 4
You have a right to have your own opinions and convictions.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 5
You should always try to be logical and consistent.
YOUR LEGITIMATE RIGHT 5
You have a right to change your mind or decide on a different course of action.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 6
You should be flexible and adjust. Others have good reasons for their actions and it's not polite to question them.
YOUR LEGITMATE RIGHT 6
You have a right to protest any treatment or criticism that feels bad to you.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 7
You should never iterrupt people. Asking questions reveals your stupidity to others.
YOUR LEGITIMATE RIGHT 7
You have a right to interrupt in order to ask for clarification.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 8
Things could get even worse, don't rock the boat.
YOUR LEGITIMATE RIGHT 8
You have a right to negotiate for change.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 9
You should take up others valuable time with your problems.
YOUR LEGITIMATE RIGHT 9
You have a right to ask for help or emotional support.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 10
People don't want to hear that you feel bad, so keep it to yourself.
YOUR LEGITIMATE RIGHT 10
You have a right to feel and express pain.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 11
When someone takes the time to give you advice, y ou should take it very seriously. They are often right.
YOUR LEGITIMATE RIGHT 11
You have a right to ignore the advice of others.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 12
Knowing that you did something well is its own reward. People don't l ike show-offs. Successful people are severely disliked and envied. Be modents with complimented.
YOUR LEGITIMATE RIGHT 12
You have a right to receive recognition for your work and achievements.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 13
You should always try to accommodate others. If you don't they won't be there when you need them.
YOUR LEGITMATE RIGHT 13
You have a right to say no.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 14
Don't be anit-social. People are going to think you don't like them if you say you'd rather be alone instead of with them.
YOUR LEGITIMATE RIGHT 14
You have a right to be alone, even if others would prefer your company.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 15
You should always have a good reason for feeling the way you do.
YOUR LEGITIMATE RIGHT 15
You have a right not to have to justify yourself to others.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 16
When someone is in trouble, you should always help them.
YOUR LEGITIMATE RIGHT 16
You have a right not to take responsibility for someone else's problems.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 17
You should be sensitive to the needs and wishes of others, even when they are unable to tell you what they want.
LEGITIMATE RIGHT 17
You have a right not to have to anticipate others' needs and wishes.

MISTAKEN TRADITIONAL ASSUMPTION 18
It's not nice to put people off. If questioned, give an answer.
YOUR LEGITIMATE RIGHT 18
You have a right to choose not to respond to a situation.

Adappted from The Relaxation and Stress Reduction WorkBook, 2nd ed., by Davis, Eshelman and McKay

After you have read these through a couple of times, what do you think about them? How are you feeling about what they are telling you? Have they helped in any way?

Sheri Adams

Sheri Adams
SparkPeople's Official Stress Relief Challenge www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=32500

All True Christians On SparkPeople teams.sparkpeople.com/AllChristiansO
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