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MSKIZ69's Photo MSKIZ69 SparkPoints: (505,871)
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11/28/11 9:46 P

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Any parent who endangers their kids that way is NOT a true parent. Please get the custody as soon as possible!

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11/23/11 12:48 P

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I agree with everyone else. I haven't been in this position, but my son's father has not been around since I told him I was pregnant. When he tried to be around, he told me that we didn't have to tell my son that HE was his father. It is definitely better for the kids to be raised without a father than to put them in danger like your ex does. Hope everything works out for you.

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RUNHAPPEE's Photo RUNHAPPEE Posts: 7,293
11/22/11 6:33 P

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What CLCCOOL said! No matter if you guys get along, are civil, he pays you something, etc, you MUST get something official to say YOU have custody of those kids, and he has visitation. Especially if he has a history of not always being there. I've been there, also. My ex was...still is a drug user and drinks heavily, and he took off with my 8 yr old when she was a baby before we went to court (we never got married, just engaged). It didn't take much to file, I live in VA. I don't know what's it's like in other states. And due to his unreliability, he didn't show up to either court date for either one of our girl's custody cases (I have a 7 yr old with him also) so I was automatically given custody with visitation at MY discretion.

Now, obviously he has a history with driving drunk and whatnot. And he's going through something right now. I would not feel safe with my children in his car. Especially after that. It might make him happy to see the kids, but if he's going to do something THAT irresponsible, I would say for the time being until he could get his act together, he could visit the kids at your house or a neutral place or his mother's or somewhere, just where he won't be driving them and you know someone will have an eye on him/them. Not exactly the same thing, but my ex had my girls one time when he was getting high with his friends and my daughter fell and busted her head on a table. This was years ago. He has nothing to do with them now because he just doesn't care. But things like that can happen. And you never know how much damage a small accident can do.

I hope your ex can get some help but you can only do so much. You have to worry about your kids, you can't take care of him. You have to be firm with him and let him know you aren't going to tolerate that kind of stuff. You've been around the entire time since they've been born. He hasn't always been there. You're the mom. You have the right to say that.

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CLCCOOL's Photo CLCCOOL Posts: 7,982
11/14/11 3:46 P

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1) get your rear end to court & get something official! He could walk away tomorrow with your kids & disappear & you will have NO recoarse! If you can't afford it, get ahold of legal aid, they will help you!
2) if you hand your children over to your husband, he is drunk, at best if he has an accident, you ALSO could be held responsible for putting your kids in danger. I think you realize that at worst, he could kill your children!
3)I don't care how happy it is making HIM to have the kids! The children come 1st!!! Thier lives come 1st!!! and growing up without a father around is a hell of a lot better for them than being children of an alcoholic!
I'm sorry, if I'm being harsh, but my ex was an alcoholic & before I took him to court, yes, but for the grace of God, he would have run off with my boys! I was within a heart beat of him taking them! During our divorce, the mediator was as harsh with me as I am being with you!
Once you have children, they become #1. Everything you do effects them! So it is up to YOU to make intellegent choices. Obviously, their father isn't. He's putting HIS needs & alcohol before them & their safety! Is that love?


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11/14/11 12:25 P

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My kids dad has been in and out of their lives since they were little, but for the past few years he has mostly been around.... he's been seeing them regularly (once or twice a month) and pays his child support more or less on time.
We have no court ordered child support or valid custody papers, we just have hand shake aggreements.
The past few weeks or so, it seems like my kids dad is on a downward spiral. His fiance broke up with him and his hours got cut at work. Anyway, my kids went over to his house for the weekend... I thought it would cheer him up. His mom called me late last night and told me that she had to take the kids away from him because he was attempting to drive drunk with my kids in the car.

He has had DUI's in the past and actually just got his license back after not having it for like 10 years.

What should I do? My first instinct in to kill him, but that will only get me in trouble.

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