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9/24/18 5:31 A

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Well, to me it sounds like working some Saturdays (so long as it isn't a Saturday that you have your daughters) can have a huge benefit. It gives you that extra time to make something more special for their dinner.

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9/22/18 9:51 P

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Well I have my daughters at 5 pm on Friday so it gives me time to prepare for them by going grocery shopping. I am a non-custodial mom and see them every other weekend so I get them on Friday at 5 pm until Sunday at 5 pm.

Yes I was happy. I have processed foods. I at a pepperoni pizza hot pocket. Not exactly healthy. I was hungry and figured I had under eaten. I added up and yes. I should drink more water and not eat processed foods but maybe I'll work on it.

Sarah
Started 11/22/15 207 lbs
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9/22/18 8:03 P

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I never used to get any overtime at all. It was all 'flat rate'. Are there things that you can do on a Friday that you can't do in the week-end?

Having 300 calories available at the end of the day would just about send me into excitement overdrive LOL! I usually have around 200 for my late evening snack. That extra 100 calories can make a huge difference to my choice of foods LOL!

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9/22/18 7:48 P

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Thanks Kris. I do not get paid overtime much. They actually take a day away during the week after you work a Saturday and that is Friday for me. I am feeling a little better after I posted that. I found out I could eat an extra 300 calories tonight! Exciting! I think I need to figure out how to manage my time better so that my apartment gets taken care of properly. It's a mess which makes the depression worse. I just feel like I have too much to do on the days I do get off but if I managed my time better maybe it would not be so overwhelming.

Sarah
Started 11/22/15 207 lbs
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Aiming for 164 lbs


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9/22/18 7:11 P

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Sarah - rather than focusing on the negatives, focus on the positives. Instead of looking at having to work Saturday ruining your day, think of the positive(s) not least of which is that you would have earned some more money.

For a full year I used to work 7 days a week. In an entire year I had 5 days off. I missed a lot of family time because of it, but I HAD to do it re finances. The week-ends weren't often full days, but I started about 8:30a.m. went to a few clients, and then had a break and went back in the evening, and again about 9:30-10p.m.

Kris

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9/22/18 6:59 P

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Hi I read all the conversation before this and MARIENOW I could not restrict my carbs either. Be careful with that because restricting carbs can result in muscle loss! Do you exercise at all? You said it is too hot to walk outside. Well you could try indoor walking with Leslie Sansone and make sure you do stretching (which I just found out you can do with Coach Nicole on Sparkpeople) after you exercise. You can get a lot of DVDs on amazon but I actually recommend the one just recommended to me called Fat Burner: Walk 2 Miles with Leslie Sansone. She may include stretching with a cool down but not sure. Just track calories for now and Kris reminds me of the fiber which I have not been tracking.

I once weighed 207 (when I started) and lost 23 pounds since then. I followed Weight Watchers for it which got me down 12 lbs and then I continued on Spark because WW was too expensive.

Upset and overwhelmed tonight which is why I am in this topic. Had to work today, a Saturday, from 8:30 am to 5 pm and it ruined my! day or I am letting it. Not sure how to cherish the rest of the weekend I have left. Help!

Sarah
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9/22/18 5:39 A

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There is NO Way ON EARTH I could live with a carb restriction. I very seldom eat any processed food, and the bread I usually eat, and not even most days of the week, is low carb, but high protein and fibre. My Potatoes are a 40% lower carb than a standard potato and I don't often eat much rice (Brown w/Chia) or Pasta, but my carbs come from the heaps of fruit/veges. When I had to reduce my calories a bit it was mainly fruit I had to reduce because I easy ate 14/15 full serves of fruit a day. I couldn't reduce the fats or protein because they were too low anyway. At one stage I was eating 3-4 bananas a day. When I reduced the fruit, THAT was what I had to reduce because out of all the fruit, they contained the most calories. I only ate the equivalent of 1 banana (80g serve) per day. Now I am back to eating more, BUT I have managed to tweak the rest of my diet to enable me to eat more bananas, WHICH I actually find fairly filling compared to most foods. A lot depends on the degree of ripeness of the fruit, and particularly bananas. I prefer mine slightly green still. Their starch is more resistant starch which helps with satiety. The same with potato. A normal baked potato eaten hot is a lot less filling than eaten cold. This is because the heat affects the type of starch.

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9/22/18 2:00 A

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Thank you for sharing the details. That's so interesting. The whole time I've been limiting my carbs, I've wondered to myself how strange it is that I can't eat the things that I've always thought were so good for my health. I've had some fresh peaches and plums in my fridge that I bought before I started and I could only eat half a peach or plum at a time because they have too many carbs. I actually took celery and cucumbers off my salad the other day because I didn't have enough carbs left to eat them.

It really doesn't make sense but all the supposed "experts" and "new science" preach about how carbs affect insulin and sugar levels in a negative way for weight loss. But I'm not sure how realistic 50 carbs is for me. It was great the first week when I dropped a ton! Now that reality has set in, I'm noticing how limiting it is with recipes and food choices. It would maybe be worth it if I were actually losing weight at a reasonable pace.

I will see what happens as time goes by. I might increase it and just focus on calories only again. It's even been hard for me to get my calories high enough every day because of the lack of food choices.

Anyway, thanks again. You are such an inspiration! :)



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9/22/18 12:47 A

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Initially my Registered Dietitian put me on 1400 calories - no range. I basically had to increase my fat consumption and my protein a little, because the fat was waaaay too low, and the protein was borderline. The bulk of my food had always been fruit and veges. I will ALSO state that I ate on average 1650-1850 calories per day and was still slightly gaining as the years rolled on. Because I weighed all my food and for a couple years had used the Nutrition Tracker on SP and entered all food into that, I took some printouts so she could see exactly what and how much I ate. She told me that THAT was what she would normally have put someone of my starting weight and exercise regime (not a lot re skeletal issues and fatigue result of a heat injury) on to lose weight. Anyway, I stuck to that 1400 calories religiously for a full year and then on occasion I would eat more.

What I did was to give myself permission to eat what-ever I wanted/fancied (and that was a bit out of my normal plan) once every two weeks. Sometimes I would go 3-4 weeks without that 'treat day' and sometimes it would be a week. I still continued to lose weight. When I reached my goal I increased my calories a little and have been maintaining since with just the normal fluctuations.

I generally eat in the ranges that SP has set.

As you have identified, it needs to be something you can do the rest of your life. It really doesn't matter what plan you follow - what matters is consistency and that you aren't depriving yourself because then you WILL fall off the wagon.

As for how many carbs should you eat, or how much fat, etc. everybody is different. I personally would not be able to manage on 50 carbs. I mean, I LOVE my fruit/veges too much and eat a large variety of them. Mostly my carbs are around the 180-210g daily, my fat is usually around the 35-45g daily, and my protein around the 70-90.

My suggestion is to have patience!!!! Follow SP general recommendations, UNLESS your Dr or Registered Dietitian prescribe otherwise, and you WILL see results!!!

Kris

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9/22/18 12:07 A

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That's amazing. Congratulations on being successful at it. It's definitely the most challenging thing I've tried to do. About how many carbs are you eating now? When you were in losing mode, how many cals and carbs did you eat?

I've never counted carbs before so this is the first time I'm paying attention to that. My old way of eating was probably 300 carbs a day, so having drastically cut that back to only 50, I assumed I would lose more.

It's hard to find the right balance or know which plan to follow. I'm trying to ask myself what can I do long-term forever, so I originally told myself I could have a certain amount of "treats" each week and go over my allowed numbers. But so far I haven't needed it. Maybe it gives me peace of mind knowing that I could do that if I wanted.

I just can't wait until I lose enough to at least be within range of my old self. That will feel so good.



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9/21/18 11:10 P

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my wieght-loss was a lot less than that, on average, per week. They were just under 3/4lb per week. But you know what? That is a GREAT way to lose. Far less saggy baggy skin, and more importantly, far more likely to STAY OFF! I reached my goal weight years ago, and I still weigh all of my food for increased accuracy and enter it all into the Nutrition tracker. I am DETERMINED I am not going back to where I started from, or even anywhere near where I started from!!! I mostly eat around 1500 calories per day, but there are the odd times I will eat in excess of 2,000 calories. It doesn't affect my weight because it is just occasional, AND because I slightly eat under my maintenance to allow for those 'over' days.

Kris

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9/21/18 10:39 P

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Hi Kris,

Thanks so much for your input. I did eat the fiber all within an hour or 2 towards the end of the day so maybe that was the problem. Also, the sodium could be it too. Ugh!

I took my measurements so that maybe I could start using those to see my progress but it's so hard for me to stay off the scale. If I didn't see the numbers, I wouldn't be so annoyed, so logically I shouldn't weigh myself. But I just get so curious! Maybe because I'm about to break out of the 200's and I'm just so excited to leave that "2" behind.

I can't wait until the cooler temps come (it still gets 100 here) so I can walk more, that might help. It's just so frustrating because at my size, it just seems I should be losing more. I guess this whole experience will teach me to be patient. I have a long way to go so this will take a while. I have to just expect 1-2 pound losses per week if I'm lucky.

Thank you as always. emoticon







Edited by: MARIENOW at: 9/21/2018 (22:40)
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9/21/18 9:37 P

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MARIENOW - I wouldn't worry, NOR beat yourself up about the gain. What you ate yesterday will NOT affect your weight today other than perhaps more sodium than usual, or, and as you have already commented, not been to the loo! Each one of those on their own can easily account for more than a kg (over 2lb).

It is possible that the sodium content of meal from Chipotle was higher than you usually eat. I certainly found when I visited my son in Canada, and ate a few meals from there, that I gained a lot of weight (fluid weight mostly) and I also found that the meals were a lot higher in sodium than I am used to. I normally consume a low sodium content. Excess sodium retains fluid, which in turn means you will weigh more.

Fibre itself wont affect a person's weight because it is indigestible ... i.e. passed through the bowel. I eat TONS of fibre daily, and if I eat under 30/32g in a day, it is very unusual. I mostly eat around the 40+ grams and often in the upper 40's and even at times into the 50's. My body is used to it.

IF fibre affects you it is because you either ate too much too quickly (as in your body isn't used to much) or you ate very little. That is something that is best added to gradually, to give your body time to adapt.

Kris



Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 9/21/2018 (21:38)
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9/21/18 7:32 P

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MIZZMARLEE. so sorry about the guy. How immature to block you. That's ridiculous. Who knows why men do what they do. Maybe he's afraid of getting close again.

That's great you're not letting it derail. Sounds like maybe he's not as great as he used to be. So it's better you found that out now before you invested any more time with him.

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9/21/18 7:28 P

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I was so annoyed today because I GAINED weight. It actually might have been from eating too much fiber yesterday since I had a huge bowl of broccoli and then later Bran buds cereal. So my total fiber was over the range they suggest. I've never done that before but since things have slowed down in the bathroom department, I thought it would be good for me.

This gain was after what feels like many weeks (even though it's just one week) of weighing the same thing even though I've been SO GOOD on my food.

Out of frustration that my plan doesn't work, I decided to have a pig-out day. I resisted my addiction (Starbucks Frapaccinos) so I still have my streak of 21 days without one. I was afraid if I got that it would lead to a "depression/disappointed in myself" mood swing that I want to avoid.

So instead I got a bagel at the store and then went to Chipotle to get a chicken bowl along with guac and chips. I was stuffed so fast. I only ate half (it was delicious) and decided to track it all while I was eating. Turns out I was still within my range that I'm allowed, so I decided to stop and not eat any more. I won't eat the bagel like I planned for dinner. I can have a tiny snack later with the cals/carbs I have left though.

Sorry for the novel and I know this is such a small problem, but I REALLY want to get rid of this weight. It makes me cry being this way. I hate myself. I don't even like seeing people. Normally I don't stay on any food plan for more than a week, but now it's been 21 days/ I guess I just expected to lose weight every week. And certainly not GAIN!



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SLBROOKS3's Photo SLBROOKS3 Posts: 630
9/9/18 5:48 P

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Boy that can hurt! I'm sorry this man has hurt you. I fell hard for a guy in college that did not reciprocate my feelings and the lesson I learned was at least I was capable of loving someone. I wished him well and was able to slowly move on. I met my husband and had 2 kids. I was on Facebook and now me and the guy are "friends" on facebook. He doesn't use FB much! LOL. The husband did not work out but the 2 kids did. Take care we all have had our hard times in relationships.

Sarah
Started 11/22/15 207 lbs
Now 8/21/18 184
Aiming for 164 lbs


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9/7/18 3:49 A

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MIZZMARLEE - I am sorry that you have been hurt by this man.

Sometimes we are 'in love' with the thought of 'being in love' or we have a romanticized vision of past loves. I think it is better that this man actually stay in your past. A nice person doesn't do that to someone, however, I ask that you make an honest appraisal of your actions toward him, I am NOT being critical of you, just asking if it is a possibility. Is it possible that you may have over-thought your relationship and whereas you may have thought it was going somewhere, he only wanted friendship?

Hugs,
Kris

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9/5/18 5:16 P

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I'm sorry he has hurt you and broken off contact without an explanation. Sadly, I learned many years ago that you can't make somebody love you - that was one of the most painful lessons of my life. I was 17 at the time and am 64 now. I can still feel how painful it was.

Wishing you comfort and the continued will to keep doing what's good for you in spite of him. You deserve better.

Big Hugs.


Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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9/5/18 5:01 P

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Having a sad confusing day. Reconnected with my true love from 20 years ago and thought that all was going well, then this morning I find out that he's blocked me on facebook, my calls go directly to voicemail, and he's ignoring any attempts I've made to connect. I'm heartbroken and so confused as to why this happened. Just rejoined Sparkpeople yesterday and I refuse to let this derail me, even though all I want to do is eat junk food.

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8/23/18 4:10 A

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Normally I read a lot of the articles in the on-line newspapers, however when I am in a certain place in my mind, I REFUSE to read a lot of the articles when the title of it suggest that it could have a negative impact on me. The same goes for videos. Instead I will tend to play more solitaire (on my phone). Prior to having a phone that I could play it on, I used to play it with real cards. It tends to take me mind off the negatives around me.

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for you.

Kris

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8/22/18 9:36 P

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I'm in a dark place today. I can't even imagine how I would feel if things improved. In the last couple of months, I've had problems with the car, house, appliances, my health, my spouse's health, and, of course, the ever-present existential angst.

I listened to a bio of Karen Carpenter on YouTube today, and I really, really shouldn't have done that. So maudlin. Back to the positive affirmations tomorrow.

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8/19/18 4:50 A

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I'm glad that you are feeling a lot better.

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8/18/18 8:29 A

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Just a quick update: I am feeling much better and have been sleeping well. Really did not need the CBD oil. Feel so good without it.

Sarah
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8/15/18 8:50 P

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Have had 2 bad days for 2 different reasons! I was taking the CBD oil. I tried it for a week or so. It messed me up and I didn't like it. So I stopped taking it (I do feel better since stopping). I ordered a book to read (which I will pick up at my mom's house this Friday) about the CBD oil so I have some information for reference. I will also talk to my psychiatrist about it next Thursday, August, 23rd.

Last night I was upset with my ex and was up until midnight crying about the horrible emails we were sending to each other. That stopped. I wasn't going to see my daughter's tonight but my daughter's called me and wished to see me. So I took them out to dinner and they behaved. My 10 year old bit me last week hence the difficulty I am having.

Last night I was up until midnight and talked to 3 different people on the phone to help me out.

Now I am relaxing and have a good combination of Jasmine and lemon essential oil running in my diffuser.

Thanks for listening. Yes, I am going to try to go to bed early and get a decent night of sleep.

Sarah
Started 11/22/15 207 lbs
Now 8/21/18 184
Aiming for 164 lbs


 current weight: 182.8 
207
196.25
185.5
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@ALLIGARCIA1130 - rather than feeling "stupid for just typing this." be PLEASED that you typed it, AND posted it. Sometimes just seeing something in writing helps us, and then if you elaborate a bit more, we can help.

@ANGELA8108 Popcorn is healthy (so long as it is not full of added ingredients like salt and sugars) Reading your post about your Lazy Boy accident is soooo reminiscent of me. When I was recovering from a bad car accident with multiple fractures and a head injurin, MY chair used to tipped backward leaving me with my feet up in the air and my head on the ground, too. It isn't nice, but really, I just laughed about it, and maintained that with what was happening to me while trying to recover was made into a TV Series, everyone would say "That doesn't happen in real like" It is hard to believe sometimes, but even when you are in a very bad place re depression (which I was, in that I didn't want to live any more) you can still find things to laugh about.

It is possible that your Dr might consider a different BP reduction medication.

Hang in there. Things WILL come right!!!!

Kris







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7/14/18 10:47 A

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I am really struggling bad right now, we got my rexulti up to 2 mg about 3 weeks ago and its helped some but im going down hill again now ! I cant stand this the darkness wants to take over and im trying to crawl my way out. My health i know is a big contributor to it and not being able to exercise in 2 1/2 weeks when i was doing cardio daily! I just got over double pneumonia, my left lung was also full of fluid and i was retaining 25 lbs of fluid, monday i finished all the meds for that junk. Well yesterday i went and slammed hard back of my head, neck and upper back very very hard into a wall i got thrown against when my Lazy boy flew backwards and threw me outta it and i have a concussion and neck injury but no breaks thank God and my brain is ok, but im in massive pain and was told it can take between 3 days and 3 MONTHS for the massive headache and neck pain to ease up and it kills by my shoulders and upper back. For almost 3 weeks now ive had to take it easy and just when i was about to start exercising again this happens and im not allowed again. I did lose 6 more lbs though i found out yesterday at the ER. I just cant win lately its one thing after another and I am not handling it well at all. I am forcing myself thru everything i need to do but its hard so so hard! But i refuse to even buy junk food other than 100 calorie bags of popcorn! Also got put on blood pressure meds at the ER yesterday which i did NOT want more meds and the dr would not listen and put me on lisinopril which makes me cough a lot but i have to suck it up till i see my Dr monday because it is bringing my blood pressure way down and after a concussion my friend whos a nurse at the ER said you are high risk for a seizure and high bp makes that greater risk. I just need support right now i feel ready to fall apart and lose it at any point now.

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7/10/18 12:24 P

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Today is not my day! I cant pull myself out of this darkness. I feel stupid for just typing this.

Edited by: ALLIGARCIA1130 at: 7/10/2018 (12:25)
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7/10/18 11:34 A

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he doesn't drink or take drugs, but he eats lots of sweet things...cookies, candy, cake, brownies, ice cream and soda. i honestly is what his problem is. i also think he is jealous, because people come and talk to me. when i went to the local ministerium meeting which took place at a local restaurant with the ministers until the church i went to got a minister that went to them. when i first started going. the first meeting i went to when i came home he didn't ask me how it was or how did it go. his first and only question was, "were you the only lady there"? he did this the next month as they were monthly meetings. when he asked me if i was the only lady at the meeting is said to him (as i was pissed off), "yes, and i told the ministers to let's do it right here on the table". boy did he get mad....that was because i was a smart you know what. i did turn the tables on him, because when we process seedlings and make wreaths all that is generally working is ladies. i asked him if he was the only man working in the building want to know what his comment was after he had to think things over for a few seconds. "ah, er, sometimes i'm the only man". i know otherwise.

i could go on and on about this, but why go there. yes, i have thought about leaving and i thought when i get my social security, well, that happened this year as he decided i needed to apply for it. he took care of the info as i turned over my right for him to do that. after all said and done and i said to him that his mom got her social security. hiss comment back to me is that he needs my social security to pay the bills, so it was deposited into the checking account to pay the bills.

i started to cry when i read about your mother. so glad she is very happy now.
what is keeping me right now is o can't afford to support my fur critters and they are ageing and time will take toll. i will not leave them with him as i don't think he would take care of them or....something worse. they are my comfort here 24/7.

i'm trying to bide my time.

thank you for your help and concerns.

the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. Colossians 3:14-15a


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7/10/18 5:48 A

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@PANDABEAR42 - Unfortunately, people like that often DO get worse as times goes on, but often it can be stopped/reduced with the appropriate help.

A friend of my sister's is having these same issues with her partner. She is in her mid 70's and he is in his late 50's. He has given up work to 'work at home' but in fact it is to control her. He does picture framing (not that much) but has now started taking HER little car to make deliveries even tho' he has 2 perfectly good vehicles of his own. He knows she won't drive them. He has also told her that she needn't go to her weekly swimming or gym "BECAUSE HE IS HOME NOW AND SHE SHOULD BE WITH HIM!!!" He won't let her talk on the phone in private - he hovers very close by. He made her set up internet banking so he could keep a close eye on her bank account. The list goes on. He won't let her watch what SHE wants on TV - even in her own bedroom. She HAS to watch what HE wants which is usually Vietnam War Videos. If she complains he TELLS her that SHE ENJOYS THEM, despite her having told him many times she hates them. She mopped the floor. She went to put the damp mop in the bathroom. Nope. Not allowed. So she went to put it in the laundry. NOPE. Not allowed to do that, either. She went to put it outside. Nope - can't do that. After he went out the house she stuffed it in the broom cupboard. He got very shirty over that. I know where *I* would have put it, and he would have been mopping the floor as he walked out LOL! She is an emotional mess. People like that NEED TO BE STOPPED,("Boundaries" and/or Therapy) or YOU need to remove yourself from it if you are going to have any form of normal and happy life.

My sister-in-law was in exactly the same boat. She left and was the happiest she had ever been.

Question: Does your husband drink alcohol???

Kris

Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 7/10/2018 (05:49)
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7/7/18 11:59 A

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Kris...thank you for your help. i will have to check into the book.

i know i can't do anything about hubby. i have dealt with his attitudes and..for 45 years, didn't think he was that way until he keeps getting worse. then as i think back over the years i see the pattern and see he has just gotten worse with his attitudes. thank you so much for your time.

the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. Colossians 3:14-15a


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7/6/18 8:34 P

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Hi PANDABEAR - great that you found the courage to come here.

What I would suggest is that you focus on YOU. You are aware that you need help. First step is to talk to your Dr about what is happening - both within your relationship with hubby, and with you yourself. It sounds like given your last comment
"sorry to bother you with my problems. i'm sure it is just me and...i just need to grow up."
that you feel that you are over-reacting or to blame. You are NOT!!!!

You can't actually do anything about hubby, other than leave him, which I am not suggesting - that is something that you have to decide for yourself. He needs to decide for himself that he is receptive to therapy, but often controlling people don't see that there is anything wrong with their behavior.

I suggest that you get the book "Boundaries" by Cloud & Townsend. They are Psychologists, and the book is often 'prescribed reading' by other Psychologists for people in your sort of situation. The book teaches you how to set boundaries and how to apply them.

Good luck, and remember, we are here for you any time!!!
Kris

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7/6/18 12:08 P

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good morning. so many times i started to write and then i delete it. i hate to bother anyone with my problems. i haven't been diagnosed with depression, but i do know i am very depressed right now. my life here at home is the cause of it.

i'm sure it is me just expecting to much from hubby. last night after how he acted i felt like driving over the hill and not on the road if you get what i'm saying. i'm not allowed to say much and last night hubby came in and said about my horse being sweated up due to someone in the neighborhood setting off fireworks. well, he went up to check on her and i was on the computer and he had a fit because i didn't move quickly and wanted to show him a picture of the deer that was on the breast of the pond and he made a comment that he was looking for a fawn to be following it. i wanted to show him that it is a buck as when i blew the picture up i could see the antlers starting to grow. he got upset with me and he felt i should have just jumped up and moved. i deal with this type of attitude most days. he is very controlling and if i'm on the computer he will find some stupid reason to come and see what i'm doing.

he is out for right now so i'm able to check in. i know i need to be more patient with him. i'm sure it is just me as he feels. he has even told me i need to get help. when i tell him we both need to get help he then gets defensive and starts on me on well then where do we need to go. the best way to describe him is, 'I'm always right even when i'm wrong".

sorry to bother you with my problems. i'm sure it is just me and...i just need to grow up.

the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. Colossians 3:14-15a


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6/23/18 4:24 P

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Thoughts and prayers

I want to loose pounds no goal weight


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6/3/18 5:36 A

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It is very difficult! Waiting on autopsy they are suspecting an unknown heart issue. Trying to take care of me, hard when i was already in a deep depression before these losses. Trying to heavily rely on my DBT skills, i move up to the graduate program this month. The past few weeks have been very challenging......

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6/3/18 5:21 A

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I can understand that. We never expect seemingly healthy children to go before an adult. Often, there is a serious underlying health problem that was never previously detected.

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6/3/18 3:58 A

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Thank you, in shock still especially about the little one.

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6/3/18 2:29 A

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My Deepest Sympathies to you and your friends. xxx

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6/2/18 11:35 P

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When it rains it pours........ 2 days ago found out a friend of 12 years died and last night my friends almost 2 yr old granddaughter who her daughter asked me to be the aunt before she was born suddenly died. Her heart stopped and no clue why, waiting on autopsy results. Not normal for a healthy toddler to die :(

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Not good, but I do hope things improve for you. No matter how much time has past, its always hard with loved ones death date creeps by. 17 years since my dad passed but it gets easier to manage. There is times when I break down but you will get through this.

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5/27/18 6:06 P

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I do go to a chiropractor already. Not much seems to help now day though.

Very hard time for me, tomorrow marks 7 years since my late husbands car accident he died from 19 months later. He went septic from injuries. He was left quadleplegic with 5 traumatic brain injuries etc. He had to relearn how to talk or even swallow, never did learn how to walk again etc. ;( Hard times. Went to cemetery today.

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5/25/18 10:39 P

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It sounds like you have a lot of medical support around you. That's good.

Just a thought. I remember a few years ago a friend of mine's daughter was having extremely bad migraines. The threatened to put an end to her University study. She had been to a number of specialists and was about to have an MRI. I asked her mother if her spine had ever been checked by a Chiropractor or Osteopath. It hadn't. She suggested her daughter go to a Chiropractor, who, after an X-ray and 'feeling' the spine, discovered that it was out and needed adjustment. Turned out it was the cause of the really debilitating migraines which the 'conventional' medical specialists were unable to diagnose. She was easily able to continue with her studies and graduated.

Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 5/25/2018 (22:43)
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5/25/18 10:29 P

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Been seeing one 18 years and in august i go to another one who specializes only on the brain for a second opinion. Mine is sending me to him.

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5/25/18 10:10 P

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Have you been referred to a Neurologist?

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5/25/18 9:20 P

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I have talked to the Drs office as well as my friend whos a nurse at the ER both agree it was the imitrex. My friend said never take it again unles im at the ER and they do iv benedryl with it and watch me. It was less than 5 mins after the injection and my mom looks at mea nd im doubled over in chest pain. It happened the same way with another migraine med once. So thats how i reazlied it was the imitrex. The pharmacist wasent sure but my friend who works in the ER has seen it happen many times. I dont get periods often i have PCOS but still had them montly but then when my husband died 5 1/2 years ago my periods stopped so every 3 months i take provera to get one which doenst always even work and only have had 2 on my own in 5 1/2 years. I am seeing a Gyno on the 19th because my last Dr (the one i have now ive only had 2 years) never had me checked as to why i miscarry every time i get pregnant so 4 times. Also would not seem concerned i dont cycle etc. I can not take birth control due to my blood clots TOO easy. It would cause blood clots the hematologist said. I have lately a migraine every single day and most are severe at least part of the day.

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5/25/18 9:00 P

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ANGELA8108 - are you SURE that it was the medication you had a bad reaction to? I ask because you took it without problems for years. It is possible that it was something else that caused the symptoms but they were timed with the medication. You need to discuss this with your Dr.

My daughter used to have really bad migraines which were worse around the time of her menstrual cycle. She was tried on various medications, then they trialed her with a variant of Depo-Provera injections, which is primarily a birth control but is used for other issues, too (and Migraines is one of those.) She only has the migraines occasionally now, and they aren't as severe and don't last as long.

Kris

Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 5/25/2018 (21:01)
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5/25/18 1:30 P

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Still really struggling and I had to skip therapy today due to a bad migraine but its improving, i have had a migraine everyday for 10 days now. I can no longer take imitrex had a bad reaction tuesday to it and afraid to take it anymore and i was on it for years. I talked to my therapist on the phone for a few minutes and she is squeezing me in for Tuesday. But its so hard i am not dealing well right now. I hate this.

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5/24/18 8:50 P

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Deborah - make sure that you have your own space and time out, too, to help with your emotional health. My daughter, son-in-law and grandson (plus their cat) lived with me for about 18 months. I gave them space, and me time out, by me coming to my Computer room and doing what I wanted on there. I am a widow so didn't have a husband to fit into the equation, tho'.

Good luck,
Kris

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5/24/18 5:29 P

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I am trying to think positively and keep my spirits up in light of the coming anxiety/stress event of my adopted step-daughter coming to live with us again. I do care for her and want what is best for her and her son. And living with us for a year is going to help her be able to pay-off bills and save up $$ for a down-payment on a place of her own. I want her to have a solid home for her and her son, even at the expenses of my own mental health. I have a great Dr who understands what it does to me having her live with us. (She lived with us for 2 years a few years ago) She is prepared to get my medications increased two weeks before she moves in. I don't really like the idea of increasing my meds, but, it is the only way I can keep my sanity. I am already having anxiety over this coming situation because this time they are coming with a dog. And, I am worried how that is going to work out with my two cats and hubs little dog that adopted us this past winter. I always want to help our kids the best we can because I know how hard it was for me to get going on my own with a child in tow. But, sometimes I question if I am making the right decisions regarding the kids. Hubs has the final word on his from his previous wife and most times I go along and add on to what he has said...like this time. He said she could move in with us but did not specify a length of time...he handed me the phone to talk to her and I told her a year. I think that is long enough to get her credit rating up, bills paid off, and $$ saved for a down-payment. And It gives her son a full year in school without having to change schools. I hope I made the right decision.
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Deborah--Texas Hill Country--Kerrville
Baby steps will get me to my goal(s).
One day at a time, heck, one meal at a time...this will be my road to success.


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It's good that you have a therapist. Hopefully you also have a good Dr. It might be time to have a talk with him/her for a medication review.

It is quite likely that your AA sponsor is grieving and unable to cope with the extra stress that he must feel as your sponsor, and that 'cutting ties' is his way of coping with HIS issues. It is possible that he doesn't know how to verbalize his needs properly.

My late husband was an alcoholic. After he died, and drinking friend of his two doors down from me asked if I would be her support person re detox. I had been previously and it wasn't a problem, however after my hubby died, I had to say 'no' to her when she asked. I did, however, tell her that it was too close to home (meaning re hubby's alcohol issues) and felt that it would affect my emotional help by being her support.

When people don't verbalize the full story it can leave others wondering what they had done wrong, and feeling very hurt and vulnerable.

BIG hugs,
KIrs

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5/23/18 4:34 P

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I went from 3 months of no depression at all to full on depression a week ago. I had a friend of over 13 years who was also the past 5 1/2 years my AA sponsor walk away from the friendship. No explanation given. I trusted him 100% to never hurt me or desert me. He lost his wife 9 months ago i was close to her as well. I am thinking this is the reason hes pushed me away. I can understand not wanting to sponsor me right now, ok fine but tell me not to contact him at all? He was like a dad to me, he knew that and him AND his wife told me i was not a friend i was family i was one of their kids and family is for life. I am so hurt confused angry i dont know what all. I am barely eating or sleeping just very depressed. Yes my therapist knows i see her Friday. Went to an AA meeting today did not want to but a friend dragged me. For the past 8 years ive only done online meetings. Yesterday Mom and I went to weight watchers just to get the points books, we both got one, they got very unfriendly when we did not sign up for meetings. I do not have 13 dollars a week and they want 3 months at a time. Umm no I am disabled SSI does not pay much it would be paying that or buying food or my otc meds im on. I found a site online that tells you how many points you get a day by weight age height etc so doing that on top of this site TRYING to make myself eat. I pay the 5 a month on this site for the premium and i really like it. I dont need the weight watchers site too. Will i ever run out of tears? They seem to never stop the past week and ive had a migraine for a week too :(

There is no strength where there is no struggle


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That's great news. Long may it continue :-)

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TRYINGINTEXAS's Photo TRYINGINTEXAS Posts: 1,314
5/15/18 4:10 P

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I found a therapist who will video-conference with me!! We have had two sessions so far and I am beginning to feel more relieved about a few of my situational problems.
emoticon

Deborah--Texas Hill Country--Kerrville
Baby steps will get me to my goal(s).
One day at a time, heck, one meal at a time...this will be my road to success.


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Deborah - At one stage I had to travel from my home to a city 1 1/2 hrs away for Therapy with a Psychologist, but I usually went every couple weeks. I was NOT familiar with the city (or any city) and part of my PTSD was actually car related, as in I was in a very bad car accident which nearly killed me, so I had lots of anxiety issues traveling there. The next one I got (from the same company) used to travel regularly between 2 cities which meant that I was in the middle, but a 15k detour. She used to come out to me. Maybe that is a consideration.

As far as "military personel: re PTSD ..... what a load of cr*p. I'm glad that you don't have her any more. I wonder if her therapist qualifications were on very basic week-end training certificate? All my Therapists were Registered Psychologists.

There ARE a lot of Therapists who will do on-line therapy so that really is an option. With the computer/phone, hopefully you have Skype or Video Calling as in Messenger, because it is best if they can see you.

Good luck,
Kris

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TRYINGINTEXAS's Photo TRYINGINTEXAS Posts: 1,314
5/5/18 12:32 P

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Kris--Thanks for the information. I will check out the links and see if I can get my hubs to participate. I tried a therapist a few years ago, but she had an issue with my Dr. diagnosing me with PTSD..she said that was only for military personnel. I could not get her past that and we parted ways...trouble is, in my town she is the only therapist at this time...going out of town for one every week my hubs will not agree to do...it would take us into a very busy, hectic city and he gets nervous in that kind of traffic. So, I am trying to find one that will do appts. via the computer or over the phone.
emoticon

Deborah--Texas Hill Country--Kerrville
Baby steps will get me to my goal(s).
One day at a time, heck, one meal at a time...this will be my road to success.


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Deborah - I would talk with your Dr and tell him just what you have written here. Ask for a referral to a Therapist who will also be able to help you, if you aren't already receiving that type of help. In part, I suspect you are also suffering from grief:
www.helpguide.org/home-pages/grief.h
tm


Also, it might be beneficial for your Husband to go to an appointment with you at some stage.

Below are a couple links which you may find helpful to share with your husband, perhaps go through it together and talk about it as you go.
www.everydayhealth.com/columns/there
se
-borchard-sanity-break/when-family-fR>riends-dont-understand-depression/


www.depressiontoolkit.org/family-fri
en
ds-caregivers/


Good luck,
Kris

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I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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TRYINGINTEXAS's Photo TRYINGINTEXAS Posts: 1,314
5/4/18 8:41 P

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I now there are others who have depression that is more powerful than mine. But, for me mine is crippling me slowly day by day. My past just won't stay at bay and missing my mother & grandmother is not getting any easier and then there is my son...my shining light. He only lives 3-4 hours away but it might as well be thousands of miles. Each time I get to see him and hug him I feel terrific, but the instant he is gone my world crashes and it could be weeks or months before I get back to "my" normal. During this time I am unable to focus on the simplest of tasks.
And my hubs, just does not get it...he tells me to just push on and get it done. His insensitivity is making matters worse and I have no idea how to make him see that his words are doing me more and more harm.
emoticon

Deborah--Texas Hill Country--Kerrville
Baby steps will get me to my goal(s).
One day at a time, heck, one meal at a time...this will be my road to success.


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TRACY9103's Photo TRACY9103 Posts: 656
5/2/18 12:06 A

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Feeling helpless cause my 16yr old has been fighting a fever for a week and the doctor finally give her something for it. Been crying and feeling useless to do anything about, has made my depression worse and the medicine is not working. I know life is good but still feel helpless and useless.

Never give up, never surrender. You are important too.

Cloverleaf
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Fitbit Users Unite!
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Dealing with Depression

Tracy

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4/27/18 9:15 P

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(Because there doesn’t seem to be “Having a Bad Decade” thread...)
My son "aged out" of our never-ending divorce/custody wars a year & a half ago when he turned 18. Unfortunately there is no recovery of those years of lost time, and it hit me with a vicious PTSD backlash as my son withdrew from ALL natal family members to "overcompensate" for newfound freedom by falling off the cliff into party culture – it was to be expected, really, as he never had a chance to socialize like a "normal" teenager. I had lost an entire slate of friends who either picked Ex's side, retreated from me in the early years as if Divorce were a communicable disease, or distanced themselves as the years went on & I continued to fight for my son's welfare: Why can't you put this behind you & just get on with your life?? And of course many disbelieved the years of threats & abusive behavior – prior to, during, & after the divorce (Ex was & is a master at presenting a calm rational face to the outside world, only revealing his narcissistic pathology in private.) It's done irreparable harm to my 2nd marriage, since this has destroyed my ability to trust & confide in anyone – especially when H2 seemed to take sides AGAINST my son & I during the last cataclysmic custody battle (when son's behavior was spiraling out of control & both men were adopting boot-camp discipline tactics – granted, H2 to a far lesser extent than Ex). I've joined a couple of support groups on FB & Twitter which have been astoundingly helpful – I also have been to several therapists – unfortunately my best one passed away unexpectedly several years ago, which was also another body blow. Tried several different AD's, all of which had miserable side effects (for me) so I'm left to rely on nutrition, exercise (yoga has been especially rewarding for me, even though I look like the one of the least likely yogi's you'll ever see!), and the never-ending quest for a decent night's sleep.



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STARGAZER838's Photo STARGAZER838 Posts: 217
4/27/18 12:07 P

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I've been doing really well, then my orthopedist gave me an anti inflammatory that can spike one of medications, causing me to go in to a toxic state. I'm not there, but I don't feel like my meds are working anymore. I feel like I'm bi polar. My Psych rn increased my Vyvanse last week because the lower dose weened it's way out of my system within two weeks. So not only am I on a higher dose, I'm also on a new med. I felt fine the first two days after taking it, yesterday I wanted to cry all evening, today my body has this energy like I want to be angry but I have no reason nor anyone to be mad at. I did not do any successful planning in my state, so I was ill prepared this morning. I grabbed a banana and two tangerines to bring to work to last me all day. So what have I done? I've sabatoged myself grabbing cupcakes and cheetos out of our market at work. I'm still under calories BUT that shouldn't be all sugar that are taking up my calorie limit. At least I'm keeping up on my water. 6 cups down so far and it's just noon.

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First time writing in this area, it has been really bad here, everything going wrong, I gained back some weight, dealing with my mom's health issues, my own have to take a back seat, because it is basically just me doing all the stuff that needs to be done, oh sure my sister comes around and acts like she is the gift that everyone needs to see and have, right now we don't have a car, her husband has it, he says he is fixing it but, it has been over 6 months since he has had it, we my car needed to have a flat changed, (granted i should have done it myself, but i had hurt my back) he was suppose to do it, but he had to go play with his so called friends, 2 weeks later we had a pretty bad ice storm, now it is 5 years later with my car, i don't think i can wait that long for mom's car, mom is 80 years old and we need to have that car, if you can't fix it tell us, we want to get something else if it can't be done, we should be looking anyway, but my sister is the only one to drive us and her last excuse for not coming was she didn't want to miss her movie, (a movie she has seen at least 500 times) The word Angry doesn't even being to cover what I am feeling, my mom treats me like i am the worse thing ever, i know she loves me but, yet at the same time when my sister shows up, she starts calling mom mommie mommie i love you so much and all kinds of crap (she is almost 50) it not cute anymore, she ran when my dad was sick too, she came around and comes around now when she wants to, and only then, however she does make sure mom gets to her appointments, late most of the time but we get there, my appointments i get a ride from the medical van, sister can't be bothered i am not even sure why i am writting this nothing is going to ever change, maybe i just wanted to vent a little

Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go,
Just remember how far you have come.
Remember everything you have faced,
All the battles you have won,
And all the fears you have overcome. ~ Unknown Author


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CHERIE682's Photo CHERIE682 Posts: 712
4/3/18 3:25 A

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I just need a place to put my worries so hopefully I can get some sleep at some point tonight.
I have actually been sick since Christmas, horrible cough that I just can't shake. Of course I went to several doctors and we really weren't finding a lot. The GI doctor found that my throat wasn't the issue (which I thought was going on) but he found that I am not digesting food properly so I have to have more testing for that in a week or so.

Today I ended up in the ER with this same cough thing, except now there was wheezing and difficulty breathing. I had 3 breathing treatments, an x-ray and a CT scan. The did find pneumonia in my left lung and gave me some antibiotics and some steroids
(yay weight gain :-( ) then when I got home I was reading over my paperwork and it said there is an issue with my heart...so now I am scared and worried and want to exercise and I can't right now because of the pneumonia.
To top things off my trusted doctor that I had for as long as I can remember retired and the new doctor I started seeing in January I do not like or trust her staff (I have been given misinformation and reported it) so I have to find a new one tomorrow!

It is all just so overwhelming, I don't want to share any of this information yet with my family until I know what is going on because I don't want to worry everyone without facts..

Hopefully tomorrow brings me a little closer to feeling better, getting a new doctor and getting my health back. The first step is going to be to learn all I can on heart healthy eating....

Thanks for being here
Cherie

I will reach my goal!


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MARIENOW's Photo MARIENOW SparkPoints: (6,616)
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4/2/18 9:32 P

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Thanks, Miller. I will try your suggestion. I was calling the Dr. before but then he would just prescribe other things for every symptom. I think he is a pill pusher so I should find someone new.

How does your husband like his job? I think he started in Oct too unless my memory is completely off (which it could be!!)

:)

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4/2/18 8:02 P

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Marie, I'm very sorry about what happened at the job you started in October. I'm glad you found something closer to home.

I googled "blood pressure medication side effects" and two side effects that came up are:

Feeling tired, weak, drowsy, or a lack of energy.
Headache

Sometimes you have to try more than one kind of blood pressure medicine before you find one you can tolerate - that happened to me. It sounds like the one you're taking is causing you some problems. I think it would be a good idea to tell your doctor how you've been feeling and ask to try a different med.

Thank you for the prayers. I hope you soon start feeling much better. emoticon emoticon

Miller emoticon

Edited by: MILLER-S at: 4/2/2018 (21:22)
Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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4/2/18 6:52 P

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Feeling bad lately. I can't remember where I left off but I started a new job in Oct and it only lasted for 2 months. This might sound crazy but I felt the operations manager HATED that I was overweight. He didn't hire me so had no idea what I looked like. I remember feeling weird when I first met him because he looked at me funny. It was a company with a "image" they try to project of being "young and cool". I don't fit that mold.

I ended up getting fired for no actual reason. They had that option because I was still on probation. As I was driving home that day, I felt like heart was jumping out of my body. So I went to the ER to get my blood pressure taken. It was 200/100. Long story short, I'm now on blood pressure medication.

That job really depleted my spirit, but the good news is, I ended up finding a job closer to home (the last one had a long commute so I was literally only home to sleep.) This new job is only around the corner. I love it but it's only part-time. That's all I can handle right now.

I'm exhausted, feeling hopeless, and just overall BLAH. Part of it was my BP medication because it took a while to find the right dose. But now I have the right dose and I still feel blah. I get off work at noon, then I go eat. I'm in bed in my pajamas usually by 3pm. The back of my head often hurts, especially when I sleep on my back so I'm nervous I have a tumor back there. Add to that all the money problems I have with debt. I just don't feel very hopeful right now. I want to move and get away from this town.

I don't know what's wrong with me but I'm just feeling defeated despite the fact that I do like my new job. I have my own office and the hourly rate is great. It's a very low-stress job but not exactly exciting work (which for now, suits me just fine since I'm so tired.)

Anyway, enough about me! Ha!

I hope you're all feeling okay. Miller, I'm so glad you feel better now than you did before. I can understand getting stressed about the surgery. Anything with health is extremely stressful! I will be praying for you.

emoticon











Edited by: MARIENOW at: 4/2/2018 (19:16)
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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 18,719
3/31/18 2:07 P

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MAYIE, that's a very empowering quote - thanks for sharing it. Thanks also for the love and hugs. I am feeling better today and your thoughtfulness helped a lot!!!

Love and hugs to you, too!!!

Miller emoticon emoticon emoticon

Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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Miller . . . you are so very welcome! I am not one of those smart techy people who know how to lift (that's probably not even the word) encouraging messages and post them on line; however, my niece posted this on Facebook yesterday and I thought it was a good one . . . for both of us.
Strength comes from struggle. When you learn to see your struggles as opportunities to become stronger, better, wiser, then your thinking shifts from I can't do this to I must do this.
Toni Sorenson.
Sorry, the key for quotation marks seems to not be working. Hope you are feeling a bit better today. Please know that you are loved. HUGS.

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MAYIE, thank you so much for your understanding and encouraging message. I really appreciate you taking the time to reach out to me when I know you're having struggles of your own.

Wishing you a full and complete recovery and pain-free days. Thanks again for your kindness and support... I'm grateful.

Miller

Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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I would like to be able to take all your troubles away but alas, I cannot. The best I can do is pray that each of you find peace and contentment in your lives . . . sooner rather than later. I, too, have had a child that gave me both joy as well as lots of broken-hearted misery. I wouldn't have believed it could ever get better during those 8 years of hell but it has. Take heart. It will get better.

MILLER: I especially feel for you as you approach this scary time of knee replacement surgery. I am continuing to struggle through the recovery of my knee following the accident and subsequent surgery. No lie, it is rough. It is gruellingly painful. But I know that you have lived through many painful things before and that you are a strong lady. You WILL get through this as well and hopefully, one day will look back and wonder why you waited so long to have it done. Hugs and prayers to a special lady.

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3/29/18 6:08 P

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I'm sorry to read about everyone's troubles. I hope things soon get better for all.

I had a terrible day - a long time of sobbing which has left me feeling wiped out and even more depressed. I'm having total knee replacement on May 8th. I can barely make it through each day as it is, much less have the emotional, mental and physical energy to get through the brutal and extended recovery after surgery. I don't think I can do it. I'm thinking very dark thoughts.

Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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STARGAZER838's Photo STARGAZER838 Posts: 217
3/26/18 7:59 P

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Sooooo, my husband and I had a talk with our son. He's 12, 5'6/5'7 and an easy 200 lbs. We told him what over eating causes. Heart issues, joint problems, diabetes etc. He's a latchkey kid so when he gets home from school he has free reign of the house for food. I texted him asking him what he ate. He told me chicken nuggets for lunch and mac and cheese when he got home. I asked him if he portioned it out. I got silence. I get so mad when he doesn't listen to the why's and whatfors!! Then after getting mad at him for that things just spiral. He didn't unload the dishwasher when he got home, then I went on about him eating half a bag of candy corn. Ugh!!!! Then I stormed off before I could find something else to yell about. He made pizza for dinner and brought me some even though I'm not hungry. I'm tempted to eat it anyways since I still have the available calories.

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JAZZYGF's Photo JAZZYGF Posts: 3,279
3/26/18 11:36 A

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Hello wow I just posted about my kids and then read this
I was always told children o
Are a gift from god but is a tuff sell
Mine cause me depression daily there are times I feel so lost and alone
I adored my parents and my husband parents
Mine kids my therapist said stay away from them

I want to loose pounds no goal weight


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3/13/18 2:08 P

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So here is the story that set me off from this weekend:

I am still very upset about my son. He is 23 yo and so self righteous. He came home and makes snide comments. We have a rat problem. You also know we have been trying to take care of it because we can't afford an exterminator. We have caught a far amount but he acts like we aren't doing anything. He told us that our house is hoarders full. There is clutter but hoarders level, I don't think so. He then offered to help clean. But he wanted to clean the garage. When he brought a diaper to wipe off the 1 gallon gas container and we said no, he became rude, asking why not. And told us how we should just throw out the diapers we use as cleaning cloths. He told my other two kids and husband how I am verbally and mentally abusive. And how when his girlfriend was rude and out of line a year ago and I wanted to go home from a vacation, it was the worst night of his life! I told him that maybe he shouldn't come home any more. He also said how we should throw out his mattress out because his room isn't functional. (His room is twice as big as the rooms he has had a college and since for the last 3 years). He is just rude.

So this whole ordeal is stressful and I haven't been sleeping well. In addition, we are trying to find a new puppy name for a "Y" and Doug can't make a decision without seeing the names written out not typed.

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3/12/18 2:26 P

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I'm sorry you're having a bad day. Family can definitely make us unhappier than anyone else.
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Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

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3/12/18 2:17 P

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Family sucks. That is all I need to say. I just wish (on some level) my son doesn't come home anymore.

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3/2/18 12:31 P

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Sorry you're having a rough morning. I hope the afternoon is better and brighter for you. Hang in there!!

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Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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3/2/18 7:29 A

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Rough morning. Needing inspiration.

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3/1/18 2:46 P

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Glad to hear that. Today is a good day for me too! Doug and I got my final borders on the quilt I have been working on. Now either today or tomorrow, he will quilt it and then next week, we will put the binding on. I do need to measure to see if I have enough of the red for the binding or will we use black as the binding.

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3/1/18 2:40 P

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Thanks everyone! Having a better day today.

Edited by: WALKING_WONDER at: 3/1/2018 (14:40)
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2/28/18 1:34 P

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Walking-Wonder, hope things get better and the therapist was able to help.

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2/28/18 1:05 P

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Hope you get help!! Hugs!!! emoticon

(I see my psychiatrist in an hour - hoping he can help me, too.)

Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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2/28/18 12:50 P

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Having such a stressful day. Luckily I'm in my therapist's waiting room and hoping he can help.

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2/27/18 4:55 P

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Thank you Miller for the support. It can just be so overwhelming. The earliest we could get a puppy is in a month but time will tell if we are in that cluster. I am sure things will work out but it can at times seem so bleak.

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2/26/18 6:04 P

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Sounds like a lot of stress. I hope you get a puppy soon. I'm sorry your finger still hurts. Jacob taking classes at the Community College sounds like a good idea - hope everything works out for the best with that. Also, hope the traps work. I know how it is to have under-treated depression - makes everything so much harder. Enjoy your quilting! I admire people who can do that.




Edited by: MILLER-S at: 2/26/2018 (18:05)
Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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2/26/18 5:54 P

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Followup.... (some repeat, in case you forgot) My depression isn't controlled right now.

We had to give Malka up a few weeks ago and we are currently waiting for another puppy. There are currently only 2 litters in the kennel. One set is 11 puppies that should go home next week. We clearly aren't on that list because we would have been told by now. The other set is 5 pups, 4 yellow and 1 black that are about 3 weeks old and won't go home for 5 more weeks and we don't know what area groups any of the puppies are going to. At this point, we are the only family waiting for a pup in one of our groups and they (guide dogs of america) are giving pups in clusters. There is another family going through the process for their first dog, so we will wait and see.

My finger still hurts. I got a bone chip a week ago Thursday and I am tired of it being in a splint. And Jacob called last night and he apparently didn't turn in a big assignment due last week and now thinks he can only fail the class so he is looking at dropping the class. That will mean he has 1, yes ONE class. He currently doesn't have financial aid because he only took 3 classes last quarter and only passed 2 and the 3rd he didn't pass but he took it pass/no pass. His solution to all this, take 21 units next quarter. He isn't passing now, taking 21 units isn't going to help him. And we can't afford the school without financial aid. We paid out of our pocket for tuition this quarter only to have Jacob not get classes or drop classes. We can't afford it and we spent $4,000 for what will be one 5 unit class. We also still have our rat problems. We caught 4 rats weeks ago and then nothing. But we can see the damage. We need an exterminator but can't afford one. I am scared to go downstairs at night, when I can't sleep because I don't want to see them. So I can't sew when I can't sleep.

So my panic attack for Monday started last night, so I couldn't sleep. I was up until 4 am. We told Jacob's psychologist what was going on and had him call Jacob at school and then he spoke with us. He agrees that 21 units next quarter is NUTS! He feels Jacob needs to take next quarter off and truthfully take a year off and go to a community college and get his head clearer. Jacob's self esteem is in the toilet and working and taking a few classes at time is better then to continue to fail classes at UC San Diego.

We did get rat traps on Friday. Doug didn't bother to set them up until last night. But the box clearly states that all other food sources need to be eliminated and the rats have eaten the plastic bins to the dog food. So we will go out and get metal trashcans to make it so the rats can't get at that food.

I did get up and sew last night and got some quilting done. I am almost done with this quilt top. Doug and I will go to the quilt store after school today to buy backing fabric and and hopefully I will finish putting the last set of borders on tonight and he will quilt it tomorrow.

Hopefully that rest of the day gets better and I sleep tonight.

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2/26/18 5:36 P

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ANGELA and WALKING, I hope things get better for you both.

Angela, it makes sense that losing your friend would affect you. Be kind and gentle with yourself and give yourself credit for trying.

Hugs to you both. emoticon

Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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2/26/18 10:38 A

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Walking i really hope your day improves!


I am struggling so bad with the loss of my friend and Thrusday i made a big mistake, i stopped purging 18 months ago well thursday night i gave in and did it. I had stopped when i was told i was diabetic. I dont want to go down that road again but now every time i eat i get the urge. BTW sorry for typos my dogs helping me type LOL! I talked to my therapist friday and im really trying hard but i feel like such a screw up





















































There is no strength where there is no struggle


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2/26/18 10:07 A

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I'm having a bad day. Spent tons of money on my car Friday, and check engine light is back on. Got to work early and made some tea, then I placed it down when I got upstairs and it fell upside down and made a mess. Then I was running late at first client's and came upon a big accident on way to next client's, so I was late. Mondays like this are so depressing.

Edited by: WALKING_WONDER at: 2/26/2018 (10:09)
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2/26/18 6:13 A

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ANGELA - I'm sorry to hear that. We're here if you need us.

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2/25/18 10:37 P

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A dear friend of 13 years i found out last night about midnight that he lost the battle against addiction. Meth and alcohol took his life. he helped me get sober but relapsed and just could not get back. I am a mess today and going on almost no sleep, hoping i rest tonight i have DBT group in the morning.

There is no strength where there is no struggle


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2/25/18 3:28 P

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Thank you so much. I needed to hear some kind words today.

I hope things are going better for you. emoticon

Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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MAYIE53's Photo MAYIE53 SparkPoints: (236,889)
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2/25/18 3:18 P

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MILLER: Sometimes I lack the words and/or energy to be effusive in my thanks but even during those times I feel the love and gratitude in my heart. You are a wonderfully supportive friend. emoticon emoticon

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2/23/18 1:58 P

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Thank you so much, Mayie - that means a lot to me. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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