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SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (275,961)
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12/12/18 5:16 P

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I remember my grandmother having to boil a big copper to do her laundry. I vaguely remember my mum doing the same.

I don't often get stressed by things like my cylinder/floor repair issues, except for the financial part of it, and stressing isn't going to make any more money to cover it so don't tend to waste much energy on it LOL!

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MARIENOW's Photo MARIENOW SparkPoints: (9,261)
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12/11/18 5:44 P

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Miller, that's great about your daughter. How funny that we both described walking in a similar way. I was thinking maybe it gives my mind a chance to race around for a bit and then calm down or something. It's a good way to clear my head. Today is luckily not that cold so I'm definitely going to walk tonight.

Kris, oh my gosh! What a big project. You must have a lot of patience to deal with that and still smile. It probably feels like you're living in a different time when they used to have to actually boil water. (I always like those black & white movies with the old-fashioned tub where someone brings boiling water to pour in the tub). I hope it all gets fixed soon!

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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 19,264
12/9/18 8:17 P

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Hi Marie, I'm not sure I remember what happened on my bad day, but it probably had something to do with the "normal" things of husband losing job, DD's mental issues, my mental issues, and my impending hip surgery. Thanks so much for caring!!
emoticon

I'm sorry you've been feeling down and I'm very sorry to read about the loss of your Uncle. I hope you feel some peace and comfort in the days ahead. Big Hugs to you. emoticon

Interesting you said that walking was starting to feel like therapy... my daughter recently said something similar and also said she misses it when she doesn't walk. She bought a head and face "hat" that covers not only her head, but her nose and mouth and ears, as well. You can pull it down if you don't want it over your nose. She dressed up today in several layers and rain boots and two coats (a heavy one covered with a raincoat) and went out in the snow and rain just to get outside. She didn't walk, but she did get some fresh air.

Thanks again. I hope the week ahead is a much better one for you. emoticon

Miller emoticon


Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

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"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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12/9/18 8:15 P

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Thank you Marie. 1/2 of the floor has been replaced - the part in the passage and under the hot water cylinder which was the most urgent part. The new Hot Water Cylinder went in today and now have to wait for the Electrician to connect it, which MAY be this afternoon. The rest of the flooring may not be done until the new year. It is 3 weeks tomorrow since it packed a sad, so 3 weeks of boiling my water to wash my hair and me. Just as well I still had access to water LOL!

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12/9/18 8:13 P

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Jazzy and Kris, oh that sucks to have unexpected costs right before the holidays! I hope both the issues were taken care of so at least you won't have to worry.

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12/9/18 7:37 P

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Miller, I did that too once on Netflix. I never saw the British Baking show before but watched the full first season on Netflix. Really enjoyed it. It does help to have a marathon of a particular show to take your mind off things.

I also have been walking a lot which is starting to feel like therapy to me. But unfortunately, it's freezing and raining lately so I haven't been able to.

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12/9/18 7:34 P

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Miller, what happened? I'm just seeing this now.

Lindsey, I hope you're feeling better.

How is everyone doing?

I've been a little down lately with my moods. Then I found out my Uncle passed away so was wondering if somehow I was having "instincts" that something was wrong. Sometimes I feel like people who have had depression in their lives are more sensitive and almost psychic about things. Not sure but I feel like I can sense when things aren't okay with people, even if they live far away.

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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 19,264
11/26/18 8:20 P

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Today was a bad, bad day, but tomorrow will be better, I hope.

Hugs to anyone out there who needs one. emoticon emoticon


Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

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"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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11/25/18 9:59 P

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Lindsey, I'm very sorry you feel alone, isolated, and uncared for - my heart goes out to you. I find people don't understand my emotional (or physical) pain unless they've actually been through it themselves. It leaves me feeling very lonely, even in my own family.

I hope things get better and brighter for you. I fought loneliness today by watching a British Baking Championship on Netflix. Don't know if something like that would help you at all. At least it gets my mind off my loneliness for a while.

Hugs and all my hopes for a better tomorrow for you. emoticon

Miller emoticon

Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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11/25/18 9:57 P

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You know you can always reach out here, for support and friendship. We've been through this and understand what it is like when people seem to turn their backs on us. Sometimes they do this because they just don't understand, and therefore don't know how to respond, so shutting themselves off from that and covering their ears/eyes, is kinda like saying "if I don't see it or hear it, it doesn't exist.)

Hugs,
Kris

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LINDSEYSEA's Photo LINDSEYSEA Posts: 30
11/25/18 9:49 P

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Because I am. I cry out for help and people just kind of shrug it off because they know I'll "get through it" aka won't harm myself or others.

I think I've been eating my feelings a little bit lately as well as eating out of pure boredom. That stops now.

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11/25/18 6:25 P

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@LINDSEYSEA - why do you feel "very alone, isolated, and uncared for." ???

It's good that you have manage to stick to what you tracked because as you know, eating isn't the answer, and in fact, will only compound your negative emotions.

Hugs,
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LINDSEYSEA's Photo LINDSEYSEA Posts: 30
11/25/18 4:05 P

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Emotionally and mentally I've been very low today. I've fought every urge to go out and fulfill my cravings.I've stuck to what I tracked and I'm trying to get my 8 cups of water in. But emotionally I'm a mess. I feel very alone, isolated, and uncared for.

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11/22/18 11:27 P

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Thank you Miller.

Inside the house has been dried, and the machinery taken away as of yesterday afternoon. The builders are coming Tuesday a/noon to measure up/quote. The building Co. has requested that another company come to see if there is any asbestos and they are coming Monday a/noon, so things look like they are moving ahead.

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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 19,264
11/20/18 11:23 A

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KRIS, I am so sorry - you had a very, very bad day!!! I hope everything gets fixed properly at a lower cost to you.

Hang in there!!!

BIG HUGS!!!
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Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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11/20/18 3:15 A

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JAZZY - sounds like you and I BOTH had a Hellish day!!

Well, I don't know whether to laugh, or to laugh louder, after the day *I* have had!!

My water pump kept going on/off/on/off all day, so I decided to go outside to see if the outside tap was leaking. It wasn't. Instead, I heard drip, drip, drip .... from just under my house. I opened the door there, and saw where the drip was coming from. MY FLOOR. I phoned the plumber who came out and it wasn't just a little leak to fix. Nope, not on your Nellie. Instead, it appeared to be from inside the house so he came in and looked inside my Hot Water Cylinder. THAT WAS THE CULPRIT! There is no repair for that one. I rang my Insurance Company to claim it on insurance. They have accepted the claim for all the clean-up involved but I have to pay a $400 excess, but are sending an assessor out to see whether they will accept the claim for the Cylinder. I hope that they do, because they are roughly $1,000 ..... and a beneficiary right on Xmas emoticon They sent out a firm who deals with clean-ups such as this. He came about 4:45p.m. and ran a meter over the floor. It was very wet underneath, and it meant he had to cut the lino and lift it in the laundry which is where the Hot Water Cupboard is, and the loo. The Insurance will pay for new lino in there and the kitchen, because the kitchen and laundry are right next to each other sharing the same run of lino. He is also putting in for a builder to come and have a look because he thinks some of the wood flooring needs replacing. The plumber thought the same thing. He commented that it looked like the cylinder had dropped a little on one side, and all that needs to be taken care of before they can install a new cylinder.

At the moment there is a strong blower going and a powerful dehumidifier, and the guy will come each day to check the moisture level until it is dry and good to take away.

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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 19,264
11/19/18 6:06 P

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I'm sorry for your troubles. It's upsetting and scary when you have to spend so much on something like that. Hang in there!!
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Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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11/19/18 6:02 P

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what a day today and sat truck trouble leaking gas trying to get home from church on sat without catchng on fire
towed today may cost 500


I want to loose pounds no goal weight


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11/15/18 4:13 P

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Thank you again, Marie, you are so very kind!!!

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Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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11/15/18 12:01 A

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That's so great that your daughter can help out. It must be nerve-wrecking knowing you have the next surgery coming up soon. I hope it won't disrupt your holiday completely. Once all the surgeries are done and you've had time to heal, you'll probably feel like a brand new person.

I'm sending some good vibes to your husband. This could be a blessing in disguise because he could find something much better. I know he's probably dreading the whole process since it can so discouraging! Fingers crossed for him.

I'm happy I can give you some encouragement, especially since you've been there for me many, many times since I've been on Spark. So thank you for all of those times. I appreciate it!


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11/14/18 10:39 P

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Oh Marie, you have made my day!! What very kind comments - I greatly appreciate your thoughtfulness!!

My daughter was a big help to me after my knee replacement surgery in May and I think she will help a lot for my hip surgery in December, as well. My cataract surgeries are pretty much taking care of themselves, though it is a bit annoying having two eyes with vastly different vision while waiting for the surgery on my other eye.

I'm so glad you found a job you like much better - I hope that happens for my husband, as he is feeling sad and in shock right now. He just didn't see this coming.

Thanks again for your encouragement and support. I hope you are doing well. Please let me know if I can provide encouragement and support for you, too.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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11/14/18 9:36 P

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Hi Miller! You have so much going on. Each of those things individually are high stress situations, so to deal with them all at once is really tough. Do you have someone who can help you after the surgeries? I worry about you because I know you're the one who takes care of everyone else and never asks for any help in return.

Sorry to hear about your husband's job. I think he and I started new jobs at the same time last year, if my memory is right. I ended up losing mine only after a few months (which was fine because I hated it.) I found something I like much better in March, so here's to hoping that your husband has the same luck.

Your plate is so full, yet you always have a positive attitude and find the blessings in life. We should all have your attitude.

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11/14/18 6:23 P

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I'm doing okay, considering I'm in the midst of having surgeries and my husband is losing his job in January. We can't afford for him to retire, even though he's 66. Our adult daughter lives with us and can't work due to major depression and anxiety. I'm in pain a lot and cry frequently. Still, I'm grateful things are as good as they are.

How are you doing?


Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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11/14/18 6:13 P

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How is everyone doing?

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10/30/18 8:16 P

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If your boss is telling his/her employees that, I would suggest that he/she needs to learn how to communicate appropriately with people LOL!

Are you able to quietly have a discussion with your boss about how the work environment is making you feel? Is it affecting others? If so, would they also be prepared to make similar comments?

Having said that, SOMETIMES when these sorts of things happen, AND when they are starting to impact on our health in any way, then it is a good time to put feelers out for another job. I had one where I loved the work and the people I worked with (the elderly residents in a Rest Home) and some of the staff, I found that the management made it unbearable for me. I would go to work with knots in my stomach. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders ..... like, literally a weight. After I left it was amazing how much better I felt.

I hope that your situation improves.

Kris

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10/30/18 1:52 P

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Struggling to get through work and stay positive. Dealing with problems at work that keep resurfacing. I've been at the same place for 10 years and never had problems until working with these folks, and my boss wants to tell us all that we are not any good at communicating or being team players. First time in my life I've been told either of these. So frustrating and it isn't helping the depression get better!

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-I have not failed. I have found 10,000 things that do not work. Thomas Edison


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10/23/18 12:20 A

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Unfortunately this happens to us all at some time or other. It doesn't make it any easier to deal with tho'.

I hope that whatever the issues, resolve quickly.

Kris

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10/22/18 10:46 P

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Its been a hard week. I seem to have lost all my patience both at work and at home.

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10/17/18 12:41 P

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Thank you, Kris. I appreciate your support. emoticon

Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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10/17/18 4:49 A

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We are all allowed to have bad days, but unfortunately, some people have more bad days than others. HUGS to you, Miller. I hate it when I hear that there was no-one to support someone in need. Sometimes we give so much of ourselves, that it would be nice if even half of it were reciprocated.

xxx

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10/16/18 4:03 P

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Thank you, Kris.


Today is a challenging day. My sister called and cried a lot. Then my daughter had a melt down and cried a long time and I had to lend support to both. I spent three afternoons crying last week with no one to support me, but I had been feeling better this week thus far.

Sometimes I think I can't stand it anymore. Things always get better, but not for long. Sorry, I'm just having a bad day.

I hope thing are going well for others.





Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

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"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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10/13/18 8:12 P

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Marie said it so well for the members here who DO know you and the issues you face.

xxx

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10/13/18 5:54 P

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Thank you very much, Marie. Most people don't understand what a toll my daughter's issues take on me. It means so much to me that you do.

Many thanks for all your kind words.

I hope you're doing well.

Bless you!!!

Miller



Edited by: MILLER-S at: 10/13/2018 (17:55)
Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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10/13/18 5:38 P

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Miller, I hope you're feeling better. You give so much to your daughter. I know that everything she experiences affects you as well. And you give so much to everyone else, including all of us here. I hope you feel supported and know how much people care.

emoticon

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10/9/18 10:45 P

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@J_HENNINGTON - If you haven't got a Light Box I strongly urge you to get one.
www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditio
ns
/seasonal-affective-disorder/in-deptR>h/seasonal-affective-disorder-treatm
en
t/art-20048298


Kris

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10/9/18 3:46 P

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I relate to living with depression and to the struggle with SAD. I always dread when the time changes and it starts getting dark by 5pm as we move into December. My daughter has a "light box" that helps her. She uses it every day - not just on dark days.

Wishing lighter brighter days for us all! emoticon





Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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10/9/18 2:27 P

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I live with depression.. I also have SAD.. the shorter dark days make the fight even harder


I donít fit in. Iím not here to fit in, and thatís okay. Iím here to be my unique and amazing self


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10/5/18 4:07 A

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Yes - 'Here's to better days!"

xxx

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10/4/18 11:01 A

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Kris, many, many thanks. It makes me feel better just to read your reply and to know you care about us.
emoticon

Here's to better days! emoticon

Thanks again,

Miller emoticon

Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

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"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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10/4/18 5:42 A

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My Friend - I am glad that you know that things will get better. Our lives often tend to be like roads .... never totally straight. There are always bends and hills somewhere. You and your daughter WILL get over that hill and when you do, there will be a beautiful view on the other side.

Hugs,
xxx

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10/3/18 3:47 P

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The last few days have been rough. Between my daughter's depression and my own, I sometimes feel like I'm losing my mind or am barely holding on. I know things will get better and I just have to hang in there until they do. My heart hurts, though.


Miller

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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10/2/18 11:34 P

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I'm glad that you are feeling a bit better today. Maybe you just needed a bit of a breather??

Kris

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10/2/18 8:10 P

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I had a terrible Monday yesterday but I've pushed through to the light! I just wanted to let you know because I almost posted in here last night. My day was just horrible. Back to back calls at the call center where I work. Then I come home feeling blue and unmotivated. Today I only had a half day at work and I feel so much better. I got some things I wanted accomplished done and I feel much better. Anyway just thought I would share.

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9/29/18 11:54 P

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yes, old houses have such character. they are built much better than the homes these days. the old house i used to live in is over 100 yrs. old and it is still standing solid. i loved living in that house and i sure wish i could still be living in it. your home will be lovely when finished.

had siding put on our house several years ago and i found reasons not to home when they were working on the house.

the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. Colossians 3:14-15a


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I LOVE old houses. There is something about the character of them.

Kris

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9/29/18 10:18 A

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try a bad week. siding is being put on our 100 year old house and at times I think with their hamering it will just fall apart
stress level is so bad I shake
decided this afternoon going to church and grocery

I want to loose pounds no goal weight


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9/24/18 5:31 A

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Well, to me it sounds like working some Saturdays (so long as it isn't a Saturday that you have your daughters) can have a huge benefit. It gives you that extra time to make something more special for their dinner.

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9/22/18 9:51 P

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Well I have my daughters at 5 pm on Friday so it gives me time to prepare for them by going grocery shopping. I am a non-custodial mom and see them every other weekend so I get them on Friday at 5 pm until Sunday at 5 pm.

Yes I was happy. I have processed foods. I at a pepperoni pizza hot pocket. Not exactly healthy. I was hungry and figured I had under eaten. I added up and yes. I should drink more water and not eat processed foods but maybe I'll work on it.

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9/22/18 8:03 P

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I never used to get any overtime at all. It was all 'flat rate'. Are there things that you can do on a Friday that you can't do in the week-end?

Having 300 calories available at the end of the day would just about send me into excitement overdrive LOL! I usually have around 200 for my late evening snack. That extra 100 calories can make a huge difference to my choice of foods LOL!

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9/22/18 7:48 P

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Thanks Kris. I do not get paid overtime much. They actually take a day away during the week after you work a Saturday and that is Friday for me. I am feeling a little better after I posted that. I found out I could eat an extra 300 calories tonight! Exciting! I think I need to figure out how to manage my time better so that my apartment gets taken care of properly. It's a mess which makes the depression worse. I just feel like I have too much to do on the days I do get off but if I managed my time better maybe it would not be so overwhelming.

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9/22/18 7:11 P

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Sarah - rather than focusing on the negatives, focus on the positives. Instead of looking at having to work Saturday ruining your day, think of the positive(s) not least of which is that you would have earned some more money.

For a full year I used to work 7 days a week. In an entire year I had 5 days off. I missed a lot of family time because of it, but I HAD to do it re finances. The week-ends weren't often full days, but I started about 8:30a.m. went to a few clients, and then had a break and went back in the evening, and again about 9:30-10p.m.

Kris

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9/22/18 6:59 P

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Hi I read all the conversation before this and MARIENOW I could not restrict my carbs either. Be careful with that because restricting carbs can result in muscle loss! Do you exercise at all? You said it is too hot to walk outside. Well you could try indoor walking with Leslie Sansone and make sure you do stretching (which I just found out you can do with Coach Nicole on Sparkpeople) after you exercise. You can get a lot of DVDs on amazon but I actually recommend the one just recommended to me called Fat Burner: Walk 2 Miles with Leslie Sansone. She may include stretching with a cool down but not sure. Just track calories for now and Kris reminds me of the fiber which I have not been tracking.

I once weighed 207 (when I started) and lost 23 pounds since then. I followed Weight Watchers for it which got me down 12 lbs and then I continued on Spark because WW was too expensive.

Upset and overwhelmed tonight which is why I am in this topic. Had to work today, a Saturday, from 8:30 am to 5 pm and it ruined my! day or I am letting it. Not sure how to cherish the rest of the weekend I have left. Help!

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9/22/18 5:39 A

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There is NO Way ON EARTH I could live with a carb restriction. I very seldom eat any processed food, and the bread I usually eat, and not even most days of the week, is low carb, but high protein and fibre. My Potatoes are a 40% lower carb than a standard potato and I don't often eat much rice (Brown w/Chia) or Pasta, but my carbs come from the heaps of fruit/veges. When I had to reduce my calories a bit it was mainly fruit I had to reduce because I easy ate 14/15 full serves of fruit a day. I couldn't reduce the fats or protein because they were too low anyway. At one stage I was eating 3-4 bananas a day. When I reduced the fruit, THAT was what I had to reduce because out of all the fruit, they contained the most calories. I only ate the equivalent of 1 banana (80g serve) per day. Now I am back to eating more, BUT I have managed to tweak the rest of my diet to enable me to eat more bananas, WHICH I actually find fairly filling compared to most foods. A lot depends on the degree of ripeness of the fruit, and particularly bananas. I prefer mine slightly green still. Their starch is more resistant starch which helps with satiety. The same with potato. A normal baked potato eaten hot is a lot less filling than eaten cold. This is because the heat affects the type of starch.

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9/22/18 2:00 A

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Thank you for sharing the details. That's so interesting. The whole time I've been limiting my carbs, I've wondered to myself how strange it is that I can't eat the things that I've always thought were so good for my health. I've had some fresh peaches and plums in my fridge that I bought before I started and I could only eat half a peach or plum at a time because they have too many carbs. I actually took celery and cucumbers off my salad the other day because I didn't have enough carbs left to eat them.

It really doesn't make sense but all the supposed "experts" and "new science" preach about how carbs affect insulin and sugar levels in a negative way for weight loss. But I'm not sure how realistic 50 carbs is for me. It was great the first week when I dropped a ton! Now that reality has set in, I'm noticing how limiting it is with recipes and food choices. It would maybe be worth it if I were actually losing weight at a reasonable pace.

I will see what happens as time goes by. I might increase it and just focus on calories only again. It's even been hard for me to get my calories high enough every day because of the lack of food choices.

Anyway, thanks again. You are such an inspiration! :)



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9/22/18 12:47 A

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Initially my Registered Dietitian put me on 1400 calories - no range. I basically had to increase my fat consumption and my protein a little, because the fat was waaaay too low, and the protein was borderline. The bulk of my food had always been fruit and veges. I will ALSO state that I ate on average 1650-1850 calories per day and was still slightly gaining as the years rolled on. Because I weighed all my food and for a couple years had used the Nutrition Tracker on SP and entered all food into that, I took some printouts so she could see exactly what and how much I ate. She told me that THAT was what she would normally have put someone of my starting weight and exercise regime (not a lot re skeletal issues and fatigue result of a heat injury) on to lose weight. Anyway, I stuck to that 1400 calories religiously for a full year and then on occasion I would eat more.

What I did was to give myself permission to eat what-ever I wanted/fancied (and that was a bit out of my normal plan) once every two weeks. Sometimes I would go 3-4 weeks without that 'treat day' and sometimes it would be a week. I still continued to lose weight. When I reached my goal I increased my calories a little and have been maintaining since with just the normal fluctuations.

I generally eat in the ranges that SP has set.

As you have identified, it needs to be something you can do the rest of your life. It really doesn't matter what plan you follow - what matters is consistency and that you aren't depriving yourself because then you WILL fall off the wagon.

As for how many carbs should you eat, or how much fat, etc. everybody is different. I personally would not be able to manage on 50 carbs. I mean, I LOVE my fruit/veges too much and eat a large variety of them. Mostly my carbs are around the 180-210g daily, my fat is usually around the 35-45g daily, and my protein around the 70-90.

My suggestion is to have patience!!!! Follow SP general recommendations, UNLESS your Dr or Registered Dietitian prescribe otherwise, and you WILL see results!!!

Kris

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9/22/18 12:07 A

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That's amazing. Congratulations on being successful at it. It's definitely the most challenging thing I've tried to do. About how many carbs are you eating now? When you were in losing mode, how many cals and carbs did you eat?

I've never counted carbs before so this is the first time I'm paying attention to that. My old way of eating was probably 300 carbs a day, so having drastically cut that back to only 50, I assumed I would lose more.

It's hard to find the right balance or know which plan to follow. I'm trying to ask myself what can I do long-term forever, so I originally told myself I could have a certain amount of "treats" each week and go over my allowed numbers. But so far I haven't needed it. Maybe it gives me peace of mind knowing that I could do that if I wanted.

I just can't wait until I lose enough to at least be within range of my old self. That will feel so good.



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9/21/18 11:10 P

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my wieght-loss was a lot less than that, on average, per week. They were just under 3/4lb per week. But you know what? That is a GREAT way to lose. Far less saggy baggy skin, and more importantly, far more likely to STAY OFF! I reached my goal weight years ago, and I still weigh all of my food for increased accuracy and enter it all into the Nutrition tracker. I am DETERMINED I am not going back to where I started from, or even anywhere near where I started from!!! I mostly eat around 1500 calories per day, but there are the odd times I will eat in excess of 2,000 calories. It doesn't affect my weight because it is just occasional, AND because I slightly eat under my maintenance to allow for those 'over' days.

Kris

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9/21/18 10:39 P

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Hi Kris,

Thanks so much for your input. I did eat the fiber all within an hour or 2 towards the end of the day so maybe that was the problem. Also, the sodium could be it too. Ugh!

I took my measurements so that maybe I could start using those to see my progress but it's so hard for me to stay off the scale. If I didn't see the numbers, I wouldn't be so annoyed, so logically I shouldn't weigh myself. But I just get so curious! Maybe because I'm about to break out of the 200's and I'm just so excited to leave that "2" behind.

I can't wait until the cooler temps come (it still gets 100 here) so I can walk more, that might help. It's just so frustrating because at my size, it just seems I should be losing more. I guess this whole experience will teach me to be patient. I have a long way to go so this will take a while. I have to just expect 1-2 pound losses per week if I'm lucky.

Thank you as always. emoticon







Edited by: MARIENOW at: 9/21/2018 (22:40)
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9/21/18 9:37 P

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MARIENOW - I wouldn't worry, NOR beat yourself up about the gain. What you ate yesterday will NOT affect your weight today other than perhaps more sodium than usual, or, and as you have already commented, not been to the loo! Each one of those on their own can easily account for more than a kg (over 2lb).

It is possible that the sodium content of meal from Chipotle was higher than you usually eat. I certainly found when I visited my son in Canada, and ate a few meals from there, that I gained a lot of weight (fluid weight mostly) and I also found that the meals were a lot higher in sodium than I am used to. I normally consume a low sodium content. Excess sodium retains fluid, which in turn means you will weigh more.

Fibre itself wont affect a person's weight because it is indigestible ... i.e. passed through the bowel. I eat TONS of fibre daily, and if I eat under 30/32g in a day, it is very unusual. I mostly eat around the 40+ grams and often in the upper 40's and even at times into the 50's. My body is used to it.

IF fibre affects you it is because you either ate too much too quickly (as in your body isn't used to much) or you ate very little. That is something that is best added to gradually, to give your body time to adapt.

Kris



Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 9/21/2018 (21:38)
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9/21/18 7:32 P

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MIZZMARLEE. so sorry about the guy. How immature to block you. That's ridiculous. Who knows why men do what they do. Maybe he's afraid of getting close again.

That's great you're not letting it derail. Sounds like maybe he's not as great as he used to be. So it's better you found that out now before you invested any more time with him.

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9/21/18 7:28 P

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I was so annoyed today because I GAINED weight. It actually might have been from eating too much fiber yesterday since I had a huge bowl of broccoli and then later Bran buds cereal. So my total fiber was over the range they suggest. I've never done that before but since things have slowed down in the bathroom department, I thought it would be good for me.

This gain was after what feels like many weeks (even though it's just one week) of weighing the same thing even though I've been SO GOOD on my food.

Out of frustration that my plan doesn't work, I decided to have a pig-out day. I resisted my addiction (Starbucks Frapaccinos) so I still have my streak of 21 days without one. I was afraid if I got that it would lead to a "depression/disappointed in myself" mood swing that I want to avoid.

So instead I got a bagel at the store and then went to Chipotle to get a chicken bowl along with guac and chips. I was stuffed so fast. I only ate half (it was delicious) and decided to track it all while I was eating. Turns out I was still within my range that I'm allowed, so I decided to stop and not eat any more. I won't eat the bagel like I planned for dinner. I can have a tiny snack later with the cals/carbs I have left though.

Sorry for the novel and I know this is such a small problem, but I REALLY want to get rid of this weight. It makes me cry being this way. I hate myself. I don't even like seeing people. Normally I don't stay on any food plan for more than a week, but now it's been 21 days/ I guess I just expected to lose weight every week. And certainly not GAIN!



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9/9/18 5:48 P

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Boy that can hurt! I'm sorry this man has hurt you. I fell hard for a guy in college that did not reciprocate my feelings and the lesson I learned was at least I was capable of loving someone. I wished him well and was able to slowly move on. I met my husband and had 2 kids. I was on Facebook and now me and the guy are "friends" on facebook. He doesn't use FB much! LOL. The husband did not work out but the 2 kids did. Take care we all have had our hard times in relationships.

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9/7/18 3:49 A

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MIZZMARLEE - I am sorry that you have been hurt by this man.

Sometimes we are 'in love' with the thought of 'being in love' or we have a romanticized vision of past loves. I think it is better that this man actually stay in your past. A nice person doesn't do that to someone, however, I ask that you make an honest appraisal of your actions toward him, I am NOT being critical of you, just asking if it is a possibility. Is it possible that you may have over-thought your relationship and whereas you may have thought it was going somewhere, he only wanted friendship?

Hugs,
Kris

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9/5/18 5:16 P

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I'm sorry he has hurt you and broken off contact without an explanation. Sadly, I learned many years ago that you can't make somebody love you - that was one of the most painful lessons of my life. I was 17 at the time and am 64 now. I can still feel how painful it was.

Wishing you comfort and the continued will to keep doing what's good for you in spite of him. You deserve better.

Big Hugs.


Miller

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"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort." - John Dowd, Jr.
"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."


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9/5/18 5:01 P

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Having a sad confusing day. Reconnected with my true love from 20 years ago and thought that all was going well, then this morning I find out that he's blocked me on facebook, my calls go directly to voicemail, and he's ignoring any attempts I've made to connect. I'm heartbroken and so confused as to why this happened. Just rejoined Sparkpeople yesterday and I refuse to let this derail me, even though all I want to do is eat junk food.

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Normally I read a lot of the articles in the on-line newspapers, however when I am in a certain place in my mind, I REFUSE to read a lot of the articles when the title of it suggest that it could have a negative impact on me. The same goes for videos. Instead I will tend to play more solitaire (on my phone). Prior to having a phone that I could play it on, I used to play it with real cards. It tends to take me mind off the negatives around me.

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for you.

Kris

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8/22/18 9:36 P

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I'm in a dark place today. I can't even imagine how I would feel if things improved. In the last couple of months, I've had problems with the car, house, appliances, my health, my spouse's health, and, of course, the ever-present existential angst.

I listened to a bio of Karen Carpenter on YouTube today, and I really, really shouldn't have done that. So maudlin. Back to the positive affirmations tomorrow.

My web page:
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8/19/18 4:50 A

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I'm glad that you are feeling a lot better.

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8/18/18 8:29 A

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Just a quick update: I am feeling much better and have been sleeping well. Really did not need the CBD oil. Feel so good without it.

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8/15/18 8:50 P

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Have had 2 bad days for 2 different reasons! I was taking the CBD oil. I tried it for a week or so. It messed me up and I didn't like it. So I stopped taking it (I do feel better since stopping). I ordered a book to read (which I will pick up at my mom's house this Friday) about the CBD oil so I have some information for reference. I will also talk to my psychiatrist about it next Thursday, August, 23rd.

Last night I was upset with my ex and was up until midnight crying about the horrible emails we were sending to each other. That stopped. I wasn't going to see my daughter's tonight but my daughter's called me and wished to see me. So I took them out to dinner and they behaved. My 10 year old bit me last week hence the difficulty I am having.

Last night I was up until midnight and talked to 3 different people on the phone to help me out.

Now I am relaxing and have a good combination of Jasmine and lemon essential oil running in my diffuser.

Thanks for listening. Yes, I am going to try to go to bed early and get a decent night of sleep.

Sarah
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7/14/18 10:51 P

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@ALLIGARCIA1130 - rather than feeling "stupid for just typing this." be PLEASED that you typed it, AND posted it. Sometimes just seeing something in writing helps us, and then if you elaborate a bit more, we can help.

@ANGELA8108 Popcorn is healthy (so long as it is not full of added ingredients like salt and sugars) Reading your post about your Lazy Boy accident is soooo reminiscent of me. When I was recovering from a bad car accident with multiple fractures and a head injurin, MY chair used to tipped backward leaving me with my feet up in the air and my head on the ground, too. It isn't nice, but really, I just laughed about it, and maintained that with what was happening to me while trying to recover was made into a TV Series, everyone would say "That doesn't happen in real like" It is hard to believe sometimes, but even when you are in a very bad place re depression (which I was, in that I didn't want to live any more) you can still find things to laugh about.

It is possible that your Dr might consider a different BP reduction medication.

Hang in there. Things WILL come right!!!!

Kris







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7/14/18 10:47 A

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I am really struggling bad right now, we got my rexulti up to 2 mg about 3 weeks ago and its helped some but im going down hill again now ! I cant stand this the darkness wants to take over and im trying to crawl my way out. My health i know is a big contributor to it and not being able to exercise in 2 1/2 weeks when i was doing cardio daily! I just got over double pneumonia, my left lung was also full of fluid and i was retaining 25 lbs of fluid, monday i finished all the meds for that junk. Well yesterday i went and slammed hard back of my head, neck and upper back very very hard into a wall i got thrown against when my Lazy boy flew backwards and threw me outta it and i have a concussion and neck injury but no breaks thank God and my brain is ok, but im in massive pain and was told it can take between 3 days and 3 MONTHS for the massive headache and neck pain to ease up and it kills by my shoulders and upper back. For almost 3 weeks now ive had to take it easy and just when i was about to start exercising again this happens and im not allowed again. I did lose 6 more lbs though i found out yesterday at the ER. I just cant win lately its one thing after another and I am not handling it well at all. I am forcing myself thru everything i need to do but its hard so so hard! But i refuse to even buy junk food other than 100 calorie bags of popcorn! Also got put on blood pressure meds at the ER yesterday which i did NOT want more meds and the dr would not listen and put me on lisinopril which makes me cough a lot but i have to suck it up till i see my Dr monday because it is bringing my blood pressure way down and after a concussion my friend whos a nurse at the ER said you are high risk for a seizure and high bp makes that greater risk. I just need support right now i feel ready to fall apart and lose it at any point now.

There is no strength where there is no struggle


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7/10/18 12:24 P

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Today is not my day! I cant pull myself out of this darkness. I feel stupid for just typing this.

Edited by: ALLIGARCIA1130 at: 7/10/2018 (12:25)
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7/10/18 11:34 A

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he doesn't drink or take drugs, but he eats lots of sweet things...cookies, candy, cake, brownies, ice cream and soda. i honestly is what his problem is. i also think he is jealous, because people come and talk to me. when i went to the local ministerium meeting which took place at a local restaurant with the ministers until the church i went to got a minister that went to them. when i first started going. the first meeting i went to when i came home he didn't ask me how it was or how did it go. his first and only question was, "were you the only lady there"? he did this the next month as they were monthly meetings. when he asked me if i was the only lady at the meeting is said to him (as i was pissed off), "yes, and i told the ministers to let's do it right here on the table". boy did he get mad....that was because i was a smart you know what. i did turn the tables on him, because when we process seedlings and make wreaths all that is generally working is ladies. i asked him if he was the only man working in the building want to know what his comment was after he had to think things over for a few seconds. "ah, er, sometimes i'm the only man". i know otherwise.

i could go on and on about this, but why go there. yes, i have thought about leaving and i thought when i get my social security, well, that happened this year as he decided i needed to apply for it. he took care of the info as i turned over my right for him to do that. after all said and done and i said to him that his mom got her social security. hiss comment back to me is that he needs my social security to pay the bills, so it was deposited into the checking account to pay the bills.

i started to cry when i read about your mother. so glad she is very happy now.
what is keeping me right now is o can't afford to support my fur critters and they are ageing and time will take toll. i will not leave them with him as i don't think he would take care of them or....something worse. they are my comfort here 24/7.

i'm trying to bide my time.

thank you for your help and concerns.

the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. Colossians 3:14-15a


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7/10/18 5:48 A

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@PANDABEAR42 - Unfortunately, people like that often DO get worse as times goes on, but often it can be stopped/reduced with the appropriate help.

A friend of my sister's is having these same issues with her partner. She is in her mid 70's and he is in his late 50's. He has given up work to 'work at home' but in fact it is to control her. He does picture framing (not that much) but has now started taking HER little car to make deliveries even tho' he has 2 perfectly good vehicles of his own. He knows she won't drive them. He has also told her that she needn't go to her weekly swimming or gym "BECAUSE HE IS HOME NOW AND SHE SHOULD BE WITH HIM!!!" He won't let her talk on the phone in private - he hovers very close by. He made her set up internet banking so he could keep a close eye on her bank account. The list goes on. He won't let her watch what SHE wants on TV - even in her own bedroom. She HAS to watch what HE wants which is usually Vietnam War Videos. If she complains he TELLS her that SHE ENJOYS THEM, despite her having told him many times she hates them. She mopped the floor. She went to put the damp mop in the bathroom. Nope. Not allowed. So she went to put it in the laundry. NOPE. Not allowed to do that, either. She went to put it outside. Nope - can't do that. After he went out the house she stuffed it in the broom cupboard. He got very shirty over that. I know where *I* would have put it, and he would have been mopping the floor as he walked out LOL! She is an emotional mess. People like that NEED TO BE STOPPED,("Boundaries" and/or Therapy) or YOU need to remove yourself from it if you are going to have any form of normal and happy life.

My sister-in-law was in exactly the same boat. She left and was the happiest she had ever been.

Question: Does your husband drink alcohol???

Kris

Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 7/10/2018 (05:49)
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7/7/18 11:59 A

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Kris...thank you for your help. i will have to check into the book.

i know i can't do anything about hubby. i have dealt with his attitudes and..for 45 years, didn't think he was that way until he keeps getting worse. then as i think back over the years i see the pattern and see he has just gotten worse with his attitudes. thank you so much for your time.

the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. Colossians 3:14-15a


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7/6/18 8:34 P

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Hi PANDABEAR - great that you found the courage to come here.

What I would suggest is that you focus on YOU. You are aware that you need help. First step is to talk to your Dr about what is happening - both within your relationship with hubby, and with you yourself. It sounds like given your last comment
"sorry to bother you with my problems. i'm sure it is just me and...i just need to grow up."
that you feel that you are over-reacting or to blame. You are NOT!!!!

You can't actually do anything about hubby, other than leave him, which I am not suggesting - that is something that you have to decide for yourself. He needs to decide for himself that he is receptive to therapy, but often controlling people don't see that there is anything wrong with their behavior.

I suggest that you get the book "Boundaries" by Cloud & Townsend. They are Psychologists, and the book is often 'prescribed reading' by other Psychologists for people in your sort of situation. The book teaches you how to set boundaries and how to apply them.

Good luck, and remember, we are here for you any time!!!
Kris

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7/6/18 12:08 P

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good morning. so many times i started to write and then i delete it. i hate to bother anyone with my problems. i haven't been diagnosed with depression, but i do know i am very depressed right now. my life here at home is the cause of it.

i'm sure it is me just expecting to much from hubby. last night after how he acted i felt like driving over the hill and not on the road if you get what i'm saying. i'm not allowed to say much and last night hubby came in and said about my horse being sweated up due to someone in the neighborhood setting off fireworks. well, he went up to check on her and i was on the computer and he had a fit because i didn't move quickly and wanted to show him a picture of the deer that was on the breast of the pond and he made a comment that he was looking for a fawn to be following it. i wanted to show him that it is a buck as when i blew the picture up i could see the antlers starting to grow. he got upset with me and he felt i should have just jumped up and moved. i deal with this type of attitude most days. he is very controlling and if i'm on the computer he will find some stupid reason to come and see what i'm doing.

he is out for right now so i'm able to check in. i know i need to be more patient with him. i'm sure it is just me as he feels. he has even told me i need to get help. when i tell him we both need to get help he then gets defensive and starts on me on well then where do we need to go. the best way to describe him is, 'I'm always right even when i'm wrong".

sorry to bother you with my problems. i'm sure it is just me and...i just need to grow up.

the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. Colossians 3:14-15a


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6/23/18 4:24 P

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Thoughts and prayers

I want to loose pounds no goal weight


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6/3/18 5:36 A

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It is very difficult! Waiting on autopsy they are suspecting an unknown heart issue. Trying to take care of me, hard when i was already in a deep depression before these losses. Trying to heavily rely on my DBT skills, i move up to the graduate program this month. The past few weeks have been very challenging......

There is no strength where there is no struggle


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6/3/18 5:21 A

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I can understand that. We never expect seemingly healthy children to go before an adult. Often, there is a serious underlying health problem that was never previously detected.

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6/3/18 3:58 A

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Thank you, in shock still especially about the little one.

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SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (275,961)
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6/3/18 2:29 A

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My Deepest Sympathies to you and your friends. xxx

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6/2/18 11:35 P

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When it rains it pours........ 2 days ago found out a friend of 12 years died and last night my friends almost 2 yr old granddaughter who her daughter asked me to be the aunt before she was born suddenly died. Her heart stopped and no clue why, waiting on autopsy results. Not normal for a healthy toddler to die :(

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MEDIEVALBEAUTY's Photo MEDIEVALBEAUTY Posts: 77
5/31/18 4:26 A

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Not good, but I do hope things improve for you. No matter how much time has past, its always hard with loved ones death date creeps by. 17 years since my dad passed but it gets easier to manage. There is times when I break down but you will get through this.

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5/27/18 6:06 P

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I do go to a chiropractor already. Not much seems to help now day though.

Very hard time for me, tomorrow marks 7 years since my late husbands car accident he died from 19 months later. He went septic from injuries. He was left quadleplegic with 5 traumatic brain injuries etc. He had to relearn how to talk or even swallow, never did learn how to walk again etc. ;( Hard times. Went to cemetery today.

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5/25/18 10:39 P

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It sounds like you have a lot of medical support around you. That's good.

Just a thought. I remember a few years ago a friend of mine's daughter was having extremely bad migraines. The threatened to put an end to her University study. She had been to a number of specialists and was about to have an MRI. I asked her mother if her spine had ever been checked by a Chiropractor or Osteopath. It hadn't. She suggested her daughter go to a Chiropractor, who, after an X-ray and 'feeling' the spine, discovered that it was out and needed adjustment. Turned out it was the cause of the really debilitating migraines which the 'conventional' medical specialists were unable to diagnose. She was easily able to continue with her studies and graduated.

Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 5/25/2018 (22:43)
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I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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5/25/18 10:29 P

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Been seeing one 18 years and in august i go to another one who specializes only on the brain for a second opinion. Mine is sending me to him.

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