Group photo
Author:
ROXYHON's Photo ROXYHON Posts: 480
2/25/12 4:04 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
KNOEL7 - my heart aches, hearing how sad you are. I am so sorry for your loss, and for your anxiety. Don't be too hard on yourself for still being sad. Two years really isn't that long, and when it's the loss of your mom that is immense. Grief takes time, and everyone heals on their own schedule. Give yourself permission to be sad about it, and know that there will be a time when it is easier. Even if today isn't that day. And about the recipe, you still have it somewhere. Be comforted by that. You will get to enjoy your mom's stew again because you WILL find the recipe. Today, though, since you can't find it maybe you should check out some of the beef stew recipes that SparkPeople has in their collection. I've tried alot of their recipes and most of them are incredible (even if I tweak them abit to cater to my own tastes).

Peace,
Roxy

"If it is to be, it's up to me!" (Not sure who said this)


 Pounds lost: 17.0 
0
36.75
73.5
110.25
147
KNOEL7's Photo KNOEL7 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (3,119)
Posts: 265
2/25/12 3:48 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I planned to make beef stew today--which I have not done in a long time. I am not a cook and for most people it is a no-brainer. But it's ok, I told myself, I have my mother's recipe, that after calling her many times to refresh my memory, and at her insistence, I wrote down her recipe. But today, I can't find it--anywhere. And 2 years ago, she passed away, I started to panic, not being able to find the paper, the anxiety was really starting to take over --I know that sounds silly to some people. But I know I can't call her. Not today for the recipe, not ever. And I am so sad. But it's been 2 years and I should be over it--by now, I should have experienced the loss in every possible way by now. But I am just so sad. When will it get easier.

May you find joy in unexpected places, comfort in the little things and peace in your own corner of the world.


 Pounds lost: 5.5 
0
2.5
5
7.5
10
ROXYHON's Photo ROXYHON Posts: 480
2/25/12 3:44 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi Everyone! I think this is the first time that I've been on here on the weekend. I feel really good about keeping to my goal about staying connected with the team daily. I think that it is one of the reasons that I am able to keep feeling positive and motivated, keeping me on an even keel.

NOTE2SELF - when you feel so overwhelmed, try to make yourself take small steps to keep active and on track. Make sure you recognize your own efforts, and focus on the positive things. You can do anything you put your mind to!

Linnea, so glad your grandma doesn't need surgery. Hopefully she will get the care she needs quickly to get her back home healthy! My prayers for a fast return home....

TAGILBERT21 - glad you are doing better!

BKLVR - so glad that it went okay. Be proud of your strength, and the great example that you set for your daughter. Way to go!!

Gayle - hope all is good and that your energy is slowly returning. Have a peaceful and good weekend, too!

Terri - the hiking in NM sounds incredible!! I'm in central Saskatchewan (Canada), which is alot like North Dakota or Montana. We have a river running though our city, so do alot of hiking with the dogs along the riverbank, which is beautiful. When vacationing, we go to Banff or Jasper (Rocky Mountains) and the hiking there is amazing. It's so good for the soul...connects a person with the important things! You sound like you have a great variety, with mountains and sand dunes. Nice...

MIMORR - it sure is not easy at times, and so discouraging when gaining back weight after working so hard. Try focus on how successful you have been. YOU LOST 40 POUNDS!! You did it, nobody else. Which means you know how to do it, and you can do it again. You will do it again! Try find one good thing that you did each day, and recognize it either by writing it down in your journal or patting yourself on the back in another way. As you work toward losing that regained weight, know that you are developing GOOD habits, and re-learning the things that helped you be successful last time. You can't change what happened yesterday, don't waste energy focusing on that. Decide what you will do to make today a different day than yesterday was...and do it! Be PROUD when you do. We'll be cheering you on...

ZOOEY - the box sounds like a wonderful idea!! You have a great plan in place, way to go! You WILL remember to open the box when you need to, don't worry. And when you do, you can feel great about turning your old pattern around into something positive, and you will have yet another success to congratulate yourself on. I'm so glad!

Well, I am off to walk with the dogs. We are expecting a big winter storm, so I want to get some exercise before I am housebound. The wind is already blowing and I'm not so motivated, but I know that once I'm out there I will be glad I went. I can't count how many times I've gone just because I know the dogs love it so much (when I'm tired and cranky and don't want to do anything)...and as we are coming home I'm thanking them for being my motivation because I feel so much better than before I left the house. That's one of the things that helps me keep going, in more ways than one. Those puppies....

My best to everyone,
Roxy

"If it is to be, it's up to me!" (Not sure who said this)


 Pounds lost: 17.0 
0
36.75
73.5
110.25
147
ZOOEY2012's Photo ZOOEY2012 Posts: 90
2/25/12 1:06 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thanks to everyone that helped me through my dark time. I talked with my therapist and she agreed that I needed a plan to help with future episodes. I created a special box where I put some notes to myself. I listed some things to do, some healthy food options and just some encouragement to myself. I even put a few healthy snacks (granola bars and nuts) to remind myself to stay on track. I'm all set. Now I just hope I have the presence of mind to open my box when I'm down.

Oh... and I just added that I could go out and purchase a new lipstick (someone mentioned that) or some new nail polish. I use to have a problem of shopping my worries away, but I think just a small purchase will help me feel better and that's not such a bad habit.

I'm feeling better but I do feel like that commercial where the depression is walking next to the person. It's always there. Not all consuming, but there nonetheless.

I hope everyone is able to enjoy even just a small part of their day. :)

 Pounds lost: 3.2 
0
17.5
35
52.5
70
STAYPRESENT's Photo STAYPRESENT Posts: 3,531
2/25/12 12:07 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Mimmor - I'm so sorry to hear of your gaining back what you lost. Perhaps together we can work through what happened. Remember this is a lifestyle and not a diet.

I'm not too much right now. I played my guitar. I can only play for 15 minutes and my left arm starts to hurt. I'm going to practice every day though and like anything I know I'll be able to play more. I'm also going to buy my friends guitar. He passed away and I asked his wife if I could buy it from her. She was happy about it. She was just going to sell it on Ebay.

In just a little while I'm going to the biker AA meeting. Then hiking. Next home to prepare to go out to dinner & the AA birthday night. I'm looking forward to all the fun.

I have a friend in visiting and she is going on the hike with us. I haven't had a chance to talk with her so I'm looking forward to that.



Peace Out,

Terri


 current weight: 116.0 
160
149
138
127
116
MIMORR's Photo MIMORR Posts: 52
2/25/12 11:35 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
The same old story. After two years of trying to loose weight, and successfully loosing 40 pounds for my son's wedding (the goal was 50), I gained everything back. And having health issues doesn't help either. So here I am. Trying to feel good about myself when nothing looks good on me. Well, it will happen again, I know it. But it is so much work.

 Pounds lost: 38.9 
0
16.75
33.5
50.25
67
STAYPRESENT's Photo STAYPRESENT Posts: 3,531
2/25/12 9:40 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Gayle - better is good. Glad you're checking out your fitness DVD. Have you done it yet?

Kim - sounds like a wonderful weekend.

Roxy - Where do you hike? I'm in southern NM and have lots a beautiful mountains around me. I went to Three Rivers yesterday. It was a great hike.

Takiya - Glad things went well with ex & visitation. Have a good weekend. (btw Spark loads slow on my computer, too.)

Note2self - you have done very good on your weight loss journey. What did you do? How did you get off the couch before?

Linnea - so glad grandma didn't need surgery. Hope she recovers from whatever is causing the fever.

Tagibert - Yes We Can Do It!

The hike was fantastic. I'm so glad I went. There are several different hikes at the Three Rivers Park and we took the toughest one. We all did great though. After I got back into town I went to Big 5 to get some gaters for our next hike. We are going to the White Sands National Park. It is a huge park of gympsum and some pretty high dunes. The last time I did it I got lots of sand in my boots. The gater should help to stop that. I hope any way.

Last night we watched "Guys and Dolls". It was ok. I was exhausted and got to bed. However I woke up at 1 am and took some time to get back to sleep. I feel ok this morning though.

Today we're going on another shorter hike. I'm also celebrating my AA birthday with the group tonight.



Peace Out,

Terri


 current weight: 116.0 
160
149
138
127
116
SLUDERCATS's Photo SLUDERCATS Posts: 1,716
2/25/12 7:41 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Linnea...Glad that your grandmother did not need surgery...praying that she will be out of the hospital soon.

BKLVR98...Glad that things went smooth yesterday with your ex. Hope that things continue to go well.

To everyone else...I apologize for not answering individual posts. I have read them all but do not have the time to respond to everyone. Wishing everyone a very pleasant weekend.

Gayle

Gayle

"Remember, no-one can make you go to the very beginning and make a brand new start but anyone can start here and make a brand new end."


 Pounds lost: 12.0 
0
21.5
43
64.5
86
BKLVR98's Photo BKLVR98 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (7,419)
Posts: 117
2/25/12 7:33 A

Send Private Message
Reply
Notes2Self - it's good to be excited, but try to turn it into a good excited! emoticon He WILL make it home. Next time, instead of his absence debilitating you, try to focus on working hard so you'll look and fell good for him when he gets back. emoticon

Everything went smooth yesterday. With my husband standing there with me, my ex bit his tongue at my ultimatum. I wasn't going to tell him at all, but thought it might be a motivator to keep him on track. I don't want to be a B, but my daughter deserves better.

Anyway... I am SOOOO looking forward to this weekend! Don't really know why, just have this feeling that everything is going to go smoothly!

"If you're not moving, you're not losing!"

Takiya


 current weight: 154.0 
157
152.75
148.5
144.25
140
TAGILBERT21's Photo TAGILBERT21 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (9,132)
Posts: 475
2/24/12 9:59 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Having a better day and starting to feel better. Hope everyone has a successful weekend, and remember together we CAN DO IT!!!! Friend me and we can help each other. Peace.

No more excuses, making all healthy choices.


 Pounds lost: 32.1 
0
18.25
36.5
54.75
73
LADYDUO's Photo LADYDUO Posts: 3,111
2/24/12 8:39 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hello everyone. Well grandma didn't need surgery. Thank goodness to, I was worried about it. But she still in the hospital. She's got a low grade fever, and they don't know what is causing it. So they're bringing in an infectious control Dr. or something like that. So they can find out what's causing her fever. Consider not letting her go until they know what the cause is. In the meantime grandma keeps trying to escape her bed. She can't get out though. It's a special bed that they used key people in it. I just hope that the separation from grumpy won't kill her.



 current weight: 152.0 
396
335
274
213
152
NOTE2SELFDIY's Photo NOTE2SELFDIY Posts: 359
2/24/12 6:57 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon actually it is Day 6 and tomorrow afternoon my husband comes home from his week long trip out of the emoticon ... we have had limited phone communication and just an email here and there as this trip was work related. he had to go to emoticon to learn how to work a new machine that the US branch is gonna get... so, it was definitely more work and less play ... and i just talked to him on the phone, and his plane leaves his time tomorrow @ 11am and he arrives here my time 330pm. But it's still like 8 hrs on the plane and ... i have anxiety big time, it's like what if that is the last time i ever talked to him. all ive done since he left is eat and sleep and eat ...! emoticon sometimes i ate healthy other times i didn't. but thats not my issues. my issues are that i almost can't do anything like im paralyzed and just want to lay on the sofa and stare at the wall. :(

note2self = do it yourself ...

February 4th Weight @ SP = 189.9
*_*_*_*

May 7th Weight @ SP = 181.8
*_*_*_*

...
174 = Athletic shoes
166 = Step & Step Aerobics Video

158 = One-Hour Massage
148 = New Clothes
138 = Get a Job


 Pounds lost: 110.2 
0
39.25
78.5
117.75
157
BKLVR98's Photo BKLVR98 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (7,419)
Posts: 117
2/24/12 2:27 P

Send Private Message
Reply
I'm not sure if it's my computer or the site, but it's taking forever to load anything!! So I'm not going to read all your posts (sorry). All I can say is I hope everyone is having a good day, and if not, keep focused on tomorrow...it's bound to be better.

I'm getting a little anxious now. In just a few hours I get to take my daughter to her father's. We've already had an arguement oven the phone. He wouldn't calm down, so I had to hang up on him to end it. Normally when I take my daughter inside, my husband waits in the car, but he has decided to go in with us this time to be safe. (My ex used to abuse me). I was hoping that he'd been sober long enough that his mood swings wouldn't be so severe, but I guess that's just his personality, not the alcohol. LOL. I am almost convinced that it will better after he actually gets to see her. Wish me luck!

Takiya

"If you're not moving, you're not losing!"

Takiya


 current weight: 154.0 
157
152.75
148.5
144.25
140
SLUDERCATS's Photo SLUDERCATS Posts: 1,716
2/24/12 2:17 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Roxy...thank you for your kind words. Yes, i am coming back (versus bouncing back...not there yet LOL) by taking it easy today. I don't have a busy weekend planned just the usual...going to prayer in the morning, eating with a friend tomorrow night and church on Sunday morning...so hopefully by Monday i will be back to my normal self. I really was amazed at how much it took out of me but my therapist also said that it a sign that we had worked hard. Soon i will reap the benefits of my breakthrough.

Gayle

Gayle

"Remember, no-one can make you go to the very beginning and make a brand new start but anyone can start here and make a brand new end."


 Pounds lost: 12.0 
0
21.5
43
64.5
86
ROXYHON's Photo ROXYHON Posts: 480
2/24/12 1:38 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Kim - glad you are in a positive space today. Have a great weekend....I hear laughter is one of the best ab workouts out there (grin)!!

"If it is to be, it's up to me!" (Not sure who said this)


 Pounds lost: 17.0 
0
36.75
73.5
110.25
147
ROXYHON's Photo ROXYHON Posts: 480
2/24/12 1:37 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi Everyone! I'm glad it's Friday, but the weekend always scares me. If I'm going to mess up and go off my good intentions, it is almost ALWAYS on the weekend that it happens. Then I feel bad and get really down on myself, and the horrible cycle starts all over again. I have a plan in place prepared for temptation, and am going to stick to it. I can't wait to treat myself to a new lipstick on Monday for sticking to my plan all weekend (my reward)!

WAYSOFGRACE - glad to hear things are going alright!

ZOOEY - hope that you are feeling abit better today, and are excited about how you're going to face that next challenge when it comes up.

Gayle - Sometimes we really need to rest longer than we normally do. It's amazing how much strength and energy are consumed when it therapy, especially during big breakthroughs. It is so worth it, but it still takes so much out of a person. I'm glad your therapist confirmed that this is a normal reaction...and each day you will bounce back abit more, I am sure!

BUDDHANGELA - quitting smoking is so hard!! The beginning is the worst part. After three tries, I finally was able to quit (10 years ago on June 1). Thirteen days is awesome! Keep up the good work, and know that you are almost through the most difficult part of it. Terri is so right about needing to get some extra support about the cutting. It's great that you have been able to avoid doing it as long as you have, try and focus on that and how much you want to continue in that positive streak. The not-smoking likely is what's responsible for the new urge to cut, as there are all those extra stressors coming out now. Glad you came here and shared with us. It is one of the best places to ease the burden, with such wonderful people to give wisdom and support.

KLSANDERS - working on the 'front line' is so tough! Dealing with people is not always a magical experience. I do reception for a law office of 15 lawyers, and sometimes it is a challenge when talking with people. The advice to not take it to heart is so awesome! Often, I have to remind myself of that, too. Keep positive, and try smile...

Terri - you have so much good advice! I also try to plan my meals weekly. It sure helps me to stay on track much better than if I don't. I track my food at noon before I eat, and then make changes if necessary at the end of the day. Already having recorded it in the tracker, though, I am less likely to stray from what I have already inputted. Have a great hike today!! That is one of my favorite activities.

Linnea- sorry about your grandma. I hope that surgery will not be required, it is so difficult for elderly people. I like your comment about the dancing, it is such a great way to burn some energy and makes a person feel so good. You can forget just about everything else when you are immersed in a good tune!

NEEDTOBESLIM - don't be too hard on yourself about yesterday and going off your plan. Bad news is hard to take, but it makes it even worse if you are giving yourself heck in the process as well. You can't change what happened yesterday, only what happens now and forward. I love the quote at the end of BUDDHANGELA's posting...it is so true and something that we need to keep in our mind. You will make better choices today, and tomorrow will be even better. Get that momentum going toward the goal you want to accomplish, and take one step at a time. You will make it!

Dot - I look forward to reading your blog this weekend. I hope that all is okay, and send healing and positive energy your way.

Talk to you all soon.....Roxy


Edited by: ROXYHON at: 2/24/2012 (14:03)
"If it is to be, it's up to me!" (Not sure who said this)


 Pounds lost: 17.0 
0
36.75
73.5
110.25
147
KARMSTRON's Photo KARMSTRON SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (25,886)
Posts: 1,783
2/24/12 1:33 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hello All,

It is a beautiful day today. Sun is shinning with a nice breeze to keep it from getting too hot. I'm feeling on top of my piles of work so I'm really looking forward to the weekend. My BF's aunts and uncle are going to come into town this weekend. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone. I always end up with a sore abdomen after all the laughing! They are great!

Kimberlee

‘Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.’ ~Lao Tzu..

"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid." -Einstein


 current weight: 142.0 
160
155
150
145
140
SLUDERCATS's Photo SLUDERCATS Posts: 1,716
2/24/12 11:48 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
LADYDUO...I'm sorry to hear that your grandmother is in the hospital...praying that they will not need to perform surgery.

DOT...Sending warm get well wishes your way.

TERRI...Thank you!

I'm doing okay i guess. Still not feeling 100% but better than i did yesterday. Each day is getting better. Today it is stormy outside and so i am glad that i do not need to go outside. Will probably take a nap this afternoon as i have been up since 5:30 this morning. Need to watch my new fitness DVD and see what it all entails as i really need to get back into exercising on a regular basis. Wishing everyone a good day today.

Gayle

Gayle

"Remember, no-one can make you go to the very beginning and make a brand new start but anyone can start here and make a brand new end."


 Pounds lost: 12.0 
0
21.5
43
64.5
86
STAYPRESENT's Photo STAYPRESENT Posts: 3,531
2/24/12 8:54 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Gayle - you are so welcome. I'm proud of for calling your therapist. We need to take care of our mental health.

Needtobeslim - hang in there.

Linnea - dancing like a lunatic sounds like fun. sorry about your grandmother.

Dot - I hope you recover quickly.

I'm getting ready to go on a hike today.

Peace Out,

Terri


 current weight: 116.0 
160
149
138
127
116
IMAGINGPRO's Photo IMAGINGPRO SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (11,059)
Posts: 11,340
2/24/12 8:24 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hello All,

I just wanted to thank you so much for all the prayers and well wishes you have given me. I just got around to put up my blog about what has been going on. If you want to go and read it, it is called, "Dot's things that are happening! Health Issues!" Hopefully it will explain everything. I am very sorry that I can't stay on my computer for very long. I am still in a great deal of pain. Hopefully it will start to go away soon.

Hope is all well with you.

Your Friend, Dot

Best wishes to all!


I will keep you all in my Thoughts and Prayers

“Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions. They are easier to handle than dumb mistakes.”

TIPS FOR WRITER'S is a great team for learning how to write and also to lose weight.
Please Stop by and check it out. You Won't Be Sorry That You Did.
Thank you very much.

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_
individual.asp?gid=37762




 current weight: 204.0 
245
221.25
197.5
173.75
150
NEEDTOBESLIM3's Photo NEEDTOBESLIM3 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (1,525)
Posts: 955
2/24/12 5:25 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Help!! Things keep happening to knock me sideways. Just want to eat chocolate or anything sweet and the battle is on. Had bad news last night and gave in to eating sweet stuff after a good day eating healthily. Trying to draw yet another line under last night but feel my weight loss has been ruined by excess. Its half ten in the morning, not even showered or dressed and want to go back to bed. My usual Friday morning voluntary work has been postponed to this evening so out of routine today. Missing my job too, the children were so lovely, I miss their smiling faces. Sorry to go on, very lonely today.

My God loves me, he shelters me from harm.


Total SparkPoints: 0
0
24
49
74
99
SparkPoints Level 1
LADYDUO's Photo LADYDUO Posts: 3,111
2/23/12 9:18 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi everyone. Well my grandma is in the hospital again. This time a problem with her leg because she's got fluid on her knee. They took some out today and they're going to see if it's infected. If it is. They have to do surgery,which can be dangerous on a 95-year-old woman. So I'm a little worried. Other than that I haven't done much of anything today except play the Sims 3. I take that back I did dance around the house like a lunatic.



 current weight: 152.0 
396
335
274
213
152
SLUDERCATS's Photo SLUDERCATS Posts: 1,716
2/23/12 4:59 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Terri...thanks! I just emailed my therapist and told her what was going on and she responded and told me that it is normal to feel this way after doing what we did on Monday. Like you she encouraged us to rest and take care of ourselves and things should start to get better. Thanks for your understanding, i appreciate it.

Gayle

Gayle

"Remember, no-one can make you go to the very beginning and make a brand new start but anyone can start here and make a brand new end."


 Pounds lost: 12.0 
0
21.5
43
64.5
86
STAYPRESENT's Photo STAYPRESENT Posts: 3,531
2/23/12 4:54 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
KLS... - so very glad you came here. Try not to take it personally. It's not about you. People are doing things for themself and don't usually mean to hurt you.

Peace Out,

Terri


 current weight: 116.0 
160
149
138
127
116
STAYPRESENT's Photo STAYPRESENT Posts: 3,531
2/23/12 4:50 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thinking about cutting is very serious. Do you have a mental health or family dr you can call? I too have been on disability for 7 yrs and have found a good life to live. I like to crochet, too. Pease, please, please contact someone to support you through this!

Gayle - Thank You. Breakthroughs are draining. Be kind to yourself.

Waysofgrace - Thanks. Sounds like you are on a fantastic path. Reconnect with your spirituality is wonderful.

Roxy - Thanks. Sleep problem is due to med change. I didn't take one that makes me groggy the next day. I will take it tonight and perhaps after I see my dr I can cut it in half.

Zoooey - I so relate to the emotional eating. The only thing I can add to the already super advise is to get a routine. I find making myself exercise in the morning helps my mood. I went to OA for a while, too. It is another 12 step program to apply to food. I learned that I am very sensitive to sugar. Also, I went to a nutritionist. She set me up on a meal plan that works for me. I eat three meals & 2 snacks. I save one snack to the evening because we usually watch a movie at that time. Menu plans for the week help. I also track my plan meals for the day in the morning. If it changes I can do that in the evening. It seems to help to want to stick to my plan. You are aware of what is going on so that is the first step. Can you pray, too?

I made it to meet with my al-anon sponsor and then to the dr. The dr said that my ears are really clogged with wax. I use some hydrogen-peroxide in my ears until Monday. Then on Monday she is going to clean out the wax.

I'm so sleepy still. I'm not very good at naps. I'll just get to bed early tonight.



Peace Out,

Terri


 current weight: 116.0 
160
149
138
127
116
KLSANDERS2760 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (124)
Posts: 2
2/23/12 4:39 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I'm am also....I work at a call center and the demands from callers can be very tough!! Which makes matters worse I am a people pleaser. I want everyone to be happy. If they are not happy, I'm not happy!!

SLUDERCATS's Photo SLUDERCATS Posts: 1,716
2/23/12 3:55 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Sorry that you are feeling so depressed. You have come to the right place for support and understanding. I can identify with you being home alone all day as i am also on disability and cannot work. Congratulations on giving up the smoking and not cutting (I too, used to cut) I know that both are major deals for you. You are doing good. Keep coming back and let us get to know you. We are here for you!!

Gayle

Gayle

"Remember, no-one can make you go to the very beginning and make a brand new start but anyone can start here and make a brand new end."


 Pounds lost: 12.0 
0
21.5
43
64.5
86
BUDDHANGELA's Photo BUDDHANGELA SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (12,574)
Posts: 838
2/23/12 3:33 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I'm not new but I haven't been sparking much lately. Like in the past few months. My life is feeling like it just isn't worth it these days. I'm out of work on disability so I'm home alone a lot. I used to crochet and knit, but I haven't had the energy to focus enough to do that in a while. I'm writing a novel, part of a series, but it isn't going too well either. So if I can't write, I end up playing stupid video games. It isn't much of a life if your time is spent on the XBox or on your iPhone playing games all the time. I quit smoking 13 days ago, which I know is part of this downfall too. I want a cig so bad, but I just can't go back to smoking. It would be too hard to quit the next time. So, that's where I'm at. I want to cut, but I haven't done that in several months and I'm trying to keep it up. But I think I'd rather cut than smoke. Crazy? Who, me? I just don't know what to do. I just lie down and rest rather than exercise, its so much easier. And I write a tiny bit at a time. That's all I can do. Damn, I'm depressed.

‎"The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it."
— Thomas S. Monson


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
0
16.4
32.8
49.2
65.6
SLUDERCATS's Photo SLUDERCATS Posts: 1,716
2/23/12 2:56 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Terri...Congratulations on your sobriety birthday, that is awesome and a reason to celebrate. Glad that you got to go to dinner with some friends. You are doing an awesome job. Keep up the good work.

Been having a hard time since Monday when i had the break through in therapy. Just been so exhausted and tired. Didn't get up very early this morning because of that. Hopefully now i am rested up i can move forward.

Have read all the posts and sending good thoughts to everyone here.

Gayle

Gayle

"Remember, no-one can make you go to the very beginning and make a brand new start but anyone can start here and make a brand new end."


 Pounds lost: 12.0 
0
21.5
43
64.5
86
ZOOEY2012's Photo ZOOEY2012 Posts: 90
2/23/12 1:53 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thanks ladies for the advice. It means a lot to me. I guess now that my mood is a little better I can create a plan for my next dip. I guess I've been always hoping that I won't struggle again (so soon) instead of making a plan for when I do. The last two days have been a big blur.

I'll try to address everyone individually later on today. :)


 Pounds lost: 3.2 
0
17.5
35
52.5
70
WAYSOFGRACE's Photo WAYSOFGRACE Posts: 3,124
2/23/12 1:19 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi everyone!

Terri - WTG!! 5 years is awesome, and I am glad you celebrated it!

Roxy - Good to hear you are in a positve headspace. I'm back on that path myself, and it feels good.

Zooey - One thing to keep in mind is that you recognize the cycle you are in. Now to find a healthier alternative for that cycle, like Roxy said. One thing I did to help me out of those cycles was I listed things that made me feel good that didn't involve food. Then I put it on my fridge. The next time I was feeling low and reaching for the handle, I saw the list and reminded myself that these other things made me feel better too. Just a thought.

I recently decided to make a concious effort to reconnect with my spiritual path. I read my tarot yesterday, and I had to laugh because each of the 5 cards I pulled all indicated the same thing...removing things in my life that were not in my best interest or cluttering my head space. This is probably another reason why I tackled those projects that overwhelmed me before. I need order in my life, and in my home. I've been lacking both since the car accident, and I have started to get back on track.

Having nearly 60 degree weather has hurt either emoticon



Lynn

Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you Humble,
Success keeps you Glowing,
But Only Friends Keep You Going!


 current weight: 317.0 
332
289
246
203
160
ROXYHON's Photo ROXYHON Posts: 480
2/23/12 12:30 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi Everyone! I am doing alright today, kind of in a positive space. I am going to try to stay connected with this team on a daily basis, and hopefully that will help to level the mood swings out abit. I want to continue with the peaceful and optimistic path that I have been walking lately...

Kim - thanks for the welcome back!

Terri - way to go on 5 years, that is HUGE!! I hope that your interrupted sleep doesn't impact your day in a negative way. It's strange how our bodies behave sometimes. Maybe the excitement from your wonderful celebration got your adreneline going...

ZOOEY2012 - it is discouraging to repeat the cycle. Have you tried a pre-planned solution at all? If you notice a trend in what you fall to as 'comfort food' and when you choose to consume it, try to have a plan to replace it with a more positive and healthy choice (that you still enjoy and feel satisfied with after eating). Once you make this choice instead of your usual default, congratulate and reward yourself with something you truly enjoy. Even if it is a bubble bath, a walk in the park, an hour with a good book...make sure to show yourself that you are proud of the choice you just made. Choose a new replacement for next time to keep things exciting if you like, and every time you choose correctly make sure to recognize it in a tangible way. If you choose not-so-wisely every now and again, that's what being human is all about! We will help to cheer you on, and support you when you need it too...

Have a wonderful day everyone!
emoticon

"If it is to be, it's up to me!" (Not sure who said this)


 Pounds lost: 17.0 
0
36.75
73.5
110.25
147
ZOOEY2012's Photo ZOOEY2012 Posts: 90
2/23/12 12:04 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I'm finally feeling a bit better today. One of the big problems when my mood dips that low is my healthy eating plan goes out the window. I may have expressed this problem before, but I can't seem to stop the pattern. My mood is so low that the only thing that makes me feel a tiny bit better is to eat comfort food. I know I shouldn't indulge, but I get an "I don't care attitude". It might not be such a big problem if it wasn't for the fact that my mood seems to crash every few weeks. I keep losing and gaining the same 5 lbs over and over. It gets discouraging.

 Pounds lost: 3.2 
0
17.5
35
52.5
70
STAYPRESENT's Photo STAYPRESENT Posts: 3,531
2/23/12 4:47 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Kim - thanks. congrats on the 6 months. Remember we all just have one day at a time.

Gayle - glad you were able to celebrate withouth gult.

Takiya - alcohol is a cunning, baffling, powerful fowe. He has to want to stay sober. Have you ever considered Al-Anon?

Zooey - So good you came here to share your struglle. Hope things are better today.

Needtobeslim - one day at a time

Silverbrush - Beautifully said.

Waysofgrace - sounds like you're on a good track. Keep going.

Marilyn - congrats on the lowering of the meds. Just remember if you don't like it you can go back to the other dose. Do you know where you are moving to?

I couldn't sleep. It's 2:44 am. I'm concerned this is going to mess up my day.

I had a wonderful dinner with my friends. They really made me feel special. The bought me some flowers and a beautiful card. I did have the salmon and veggies. We split a shrimp cocktail. I passed on dessert.



Peace Out,

Terri


 current weight: 116.0 
160
149
138
127
116
KARMSTRON's Photo KARMSTRON SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (25,886)
Posts: 1,783
2/22/12 8:17 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Terri - Congrats! 5 years is an awesome accomplishment. I'll get 6 months next week. And if I never thanked you for the bike, I want to do so now. It was super sweet!

Marilyn - good luck with the med adjustment. Remember that we are all here for you when you're at the funeral and as you pack up the household stuff. You're going to do great!

Roxy - welcome back. I was just noticing today that the days are longer. Love it!! It really does make a difference.

Kim

Kimberlee

‘Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.’ ~Lao Tzu..

"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid." -Einstein


 current weight: 142.0 
160
155
150
145
140
ROXYHON's Photo ROXYHON Posts: 480
2/22/12 8:11 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi Everyone! Sorry I haven't been on the thread...things have been okay. Glad the days are getting longer. I am getting a bit more exercise, which is making me feel a whole lot better. I hope you all are well, and send tons of positve energy our to you all!

"If it is to be, it's up to me!" (Not sure who said this)


 Pounds lost: 17.0 
0
36.75
73.5
110.25
147
STAYPRESENT's Photo STAYPRESENT Posts: 3,531
2/22/12 7:40 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hey There All,

Didn't get a chance to read the posts. Just wanted to stop by and say hi.

I'm having a good day. Today is my 5th year sobriety birthday. Went to lunch and had a greek salad. Got to get going out to dinner. Will have salmon or Mahi Mahi.



Peace Out,

Terri


 current weight: 116.0 
160
149
138
127
116
ONEMONSTERSMOM's Photo ONEMONSTERSMOM SparkPoints: (62,387)
Fitness Minutes: (55,135)
Posts: 2,717
2/22/12 6:30 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hello everyone!
Ways - great that you got back to your psychiatrist AND put your foot down with your daughter. I work very hard at trying to stay firm with my daughter but it is often a losing battle for me but I am slowly getting better.
Silverbrush - hope you are feeling better now. It is so very hard some days to stay positive but hopefully an easier day comes soon.
Kim - hope you are doing well.
Need - Your right put it behind you and skip the kick. You are doing the best you can right now and that IS good enough! Put it behind you without punishing yourself.
Zooey - Hope you are doing better now.
Gayle - glad you enjoyed your celebration. Celebrations are important to help us realize the good we are doing.
BKLVR98 - I just want to say that I understand completely the feeling guilty BUT that is because we are taking responsibility for things that are beyond our control. It is up to your ex how he behaves and the consequences, it is not on you.
Terri - sounds like you've been making some great food choices

Well I just saw my fdoc again this afternoon. For the first time since I went on anti-depressants we are lowering my dose. We are leaving the Cypralex and welbutrin alone but lowering the seroquel that I just started last month as my anxiety is better now. I am so pleased. Just hope that this isn't a bad idea when I have a funeral to go to this weekend and 5 weeks till I have to be out of the house. The Sold signs went up yesterday.

Hugs to all and positive energy.
Marilyn

Life is what you make of it. Choose to be happy about something Now! Choose to make your life an adventure.


 current weight: 177.8 
190
175
160
145
130
WAYSOFGRACE's Photo WAYSOFGRACE Posts: 3,124
2/22/12 9:42 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hey all! I just thought I'd give you all an update since my request for help at the beginning of the month.

Work has been crazy busy with an important audit, which should be ending next week. I finally got my new car (Kia Sorento), and my boyfriend says I haven't stopped smiling since. I don't know about that, but it did relieve alot of stress.

I finally got to see my therapist, and he talked to my former psychiatrist. I had been trying to get back with the latter, but his office kept trying to put me with someone new. I don't want to go through all that again with someone new, as it was hard enough the first time around. Anyway, I have an appointment in 2 weeks with my psychiatrist and I have asked to go back on my meds for a short time til things settle again. I still shake alot, but I am starting to take interest in some stuff again, which is good news.

I've been sick for the last week, finally giving in and getting meds for the cold from hades. It's getting under control, and the prednisone makes my hyper so I am cleaning alot of stuff around the house that I've been meaning to get to but haven't had the time or interest (like that magazine rack that is over flowing, the recipe box that is overflowing, the cloth bins that needed organizing). I'm glad I am getting to it now. It can be so overwhelming most days.

I've also finally put my foot down with my youngest daughter. She made a promise to me, and I didn't let her slide on it this time. She tried to, but I told her in no uncertain terms that I was tired of it, that it wasn't fair to me, my boyfriend or herself for her to keep doing that, and enough was enough. She got mad, but in the end she kept her promise and was glad she did. She can be exhausting at times, but I love her to pieces!

Back to work with me now!

Lynn

Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you Humble,
Success keeps you Glowing,
But Only Friends Keep You Going!


 current weight: 317.0 
332
289
246
203
160
SILVERBRUSH's Photo SILVERBRUSH SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (471)
Posts: 21
2/22/12 8:19 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I know that when I wake up I can choose to be happy or sad, but today, despite my efforts, happy is misted over by tears. I just want to cry today, even though there is no concrete reason to. Fortunately, my partner is understanding and let me explain my feelings and let me cry on his shoulder. Letting it out felt good and now I feel like I can pull that happy out of the mist. I still feel tears inside me, but it had a chance to express itself, so now it is time to put it to rest and let some other emotions have their moment.

One day at a time.


 current weight: 165.0 
165
161.25
157.5
153.75
150
KARMSTRON's Photo KARMSTRON SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (25,886)
Posts: 1,783
2/21/12 7:32 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi Team

Gayle - congrats on your victory. I'm glad you allowed yourself to celebrate. Sometimes, the celebrations in life are important!

Just checking in so I don't drop off the thread. Busy but doing really well

More soon

Kim

Kimberlee

‘Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.’ ~Lao Tzu..

"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid." -Einstein


 current weight: 142.0 
160
155
150
145
140
NEEDTOBESLIM3's Photo NEEDTOBESLIM3 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (1,525)
Posts: 955
2/21/12 5:29 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Totally went off my healthy eating plan today! Don't even know why, better put today behind me and start off clean tomorrow. Could kick myself emoticon emoticon

My God loves me, he shelters me from harm.


Total SparkPoints: 0
0
24
49
74
99
SparkPoints Level 1
ZOOEY2012's Photo ZOOEY2012 Posts: 90
2/21/12 4:05 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I'm struggling today. My mood is low and I'm dealing with anxiety. emoticon

 Pounds lost: 3.2 
0
17.5
35
52.5
70
SLUDERCATS's Photo SLUDERCATS Posts: 1,716
2/21/12 9:50 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thank you...yes it was a big deal what we were celebrating!! I know that I'm not always that strong though. It really depends on why we want to treat ourselves, I think and also because it's not a daily habit.
I am praying for both you and your little girl with the news you received. I'm sorry that she is scared but that sounds totally understandable. You are in my thoughts...

Gayle

Gayle

"Remember, no-one can make you go to the very beginning and make a brand new start but anyone can start here and make a brand new end."


 Pounds lost: 12.0 
0
21.5
43
64.5
86
BKLVR98's Photo BKLVR98 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (7,419)
Posts: 117
2/21/12 8:09 A

Send Private Message
Reply
LADYDUO - even though you haven't stayed on track lately, you should just forgive yourself and start fresh. Begin again with a clear concience about the past few days, and try to remember how you feel after being so sedentary. We all have our times of ant to lose the weight and be healthier (I know, easier said than done sometimes). Good luck, I'm rooting for you!

Gayle - as long as you can control yourself and not give in to more sweets (I don't think I'd be able to), I don't see the harm. But they say that the way to stay on track is to allow youself to indulge from time to time. Congratulations on whatever you were celebrating...it sounds like whatever it was was a big deal.

I just got the call this morning that my ex is getting out of jail today due to over-population. I told my daughter right away, thinking that she would be really excited about it. But she's not. She said that she's scared. A little background...he's an alcoholic to the point that if he doesn't have a beer witin an hour of waking up, he gets the shakes (he's only 30 yrs old). He's tried rehab, but always left within a few days. We are really hoping that after being in jail for 4.5 months, he'll be able to stay clean and sober. The problem is that he lives with his mom, right around the corner from his favorite bar, and all of his friends are also alcoholics or drug addicts, or both. He's unwilling to change his friends, so I think it's only a matter of time before he starts drinking again. Also we live in a rural area, without many AA meetings available. I think it would help if he had that. He's only allowed to see her when I say, so he already knows that if he can't stay clen, he won't get to see her anymore. She deserves better, but he is still her father. He has had chance after chance to prove he can be a responsible parent, but alcohol has always gotten in the way. I know he loves her and would never hurt her on purpose, but when he's drinking, he doesn't always control it. i.e. when I was working, he was supposed to get her on the bus every morning and pick her up mid-day. She stayed home sick one day (with a fever). Some of my friends from work came back from luch and said that they saw them out walking in the rain. Later, my daughter told me they went to a restaurant with a pool table and sat at the long counter. He took her to the bar! And they were allowed to sit at the bar instead of one of the booths! The whole thing is just f***ed up! That's when I had the custody papers altered. That's only one example, and there's only so many chances I can give him. But I feel guilty that my little girl may not get to know the real person that her dad is. I think that may be why she's scared to have him get out, she's afraid she will lose him.

Wish us luck and I'll keep you posted.

Takiya

"If you're not moving, you're not losing!"

Takiya


 current weight: 154.0 
157
152.75
148.5
144.25
140
SLUDERCATS's Photo SLUDERCATS Posts: 1,716
2/20/12 11:26 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Terri...Hi, thank you for your concern. Yes, my therapist knows that we are trying to lose weight but the chocolate cup cake held significance for what we were celebrating...don't ask...it's a long story!! One that probably wouldn't make sense to anyone else. But i was good the rest of the day so I'm okay with the treating myself. I hear what you are saying though...usually it would cause me to want more sweets as well...I guess I'm just getting better disciplined about my eating. I am suppose to be meeting a friend for lunch tomorrow and i will be careful about what i eat there too. You did good at Denny's!!

Gayle

Gayle

"Remember, no-one can make you go to the very beginning and make a brand new start but anyone can start here and make a brand new end."


 Pounds lost: 12.0 
0
21.5
43
64.5
86
STAYPRESENT's Photo STAYPRESENT Posts: 3,531
2/20/12 8:47 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Gayle - is your therapist away that you are on a weight reduction journey? One capcake won't thr, ow off everything, I know, however it is shakey ground for me. If I have one I want something else sweet. That's what happened with me when a friend bought pizza for lunch. She was trying to be nice, I know, it's just that I ate way too much.

Linnea - You are a wonderful person. You need to be gentle on yourself. It sounds like the rough night it making things seem even worse. I hope you can rest and relax this evening.

I did do my yoga when I got home from the AA meeting. I bought some more fresh fruit at the grocery store. My hb and I went out for brunch. We went to Denny's again (we go there a lot) I smelt the pancakes and so wanted to eat something sweet. I did good though. I had an eqq white omlette, half an dry english muffin, turkey bacon, and fruit. What was amazing was that I was good with that!

Then for supper I made a big salad with stir fried chicken breast. Then some decaf coffee.

Did I ever tell you all that I went to OA (overeaters anonymous)? One thing they said was that nothing tastes as good as abstinance feels. I want to remember this good feeling and keep it up.



Peace Out,

Terri


 current weight: 116.0 
160
149
138
127
116
LADYDUO's Photo LADYDUO Posts: 3,111
2/20/12 8:22 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi all! I'm having another lazy day. Didn't even exercise. I feel horrible for it, like my failure or something. I played the Sims three all day got nothing accomplished. I didn't sleep well, my cat kept bothering me. She knocked over a pile of paper in my room. I think I officially feel like crap. Pardon my French.



 current weight: 152.0 
396
335
274
213
152
SLUDERCATS's Photo SLUDERCATS Posts: 1,716
2/20/12 4:56 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I have been away from the computer for three days (except to spin the wheel!) so i haven't been able to post. I have just read through a whole bunch of posts trying to catch up.
I had therapy today and we had something to celebrate so my therapist told me to go out and get a chocolate cup cake from Gigi's to celebrate which i did. Just put on the pound i lost I'm sure but it was good to celebrate. I will just watch what i eat for the rest of the day.
Feeling very tired right now. I may go and lay down for a short nap.
Sending good thoughts to everyone.

Gayle

Gayle

"Remember, no-one can make you go to the very beginning and make a brand new start but anyone can start here and make a brand new end."


 Pounds lost: 12.0 
0
21.5
43
64.5
86
STAYPRESENT's Photo STAYPRESENT Posts: 3,531
2/20/12 9:26 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Bklv... - Yahoo! for you good food chioces. emoticon So good you had a fun weekend. Have fun with your daughter today. (you can all me terri)

Marilyn - fun, fun, fun with the boys. Hope you slept good last night. emoticon

Linnea - good on you for doing the exercise and some art work. emoticon

Nancy - sound advice. I especially like the part about learning to reward ourselves with other things than food. emoticon

Kim - what a great ride. You totally rock, girl. emoticon emoticon emoticon I'm so glad thing went well with BF party celebration

Well, I slept really good last night. I even slept in. I think I needed it. My ears feel better today, however I'm still going to call the dr.

I felt weak and groggy this morning so I didn't finish my yoga. I'll have to do it later. I need to get ready to go to the grocery store now.

ttyl

Peace Out,

Terri


 current weight: 116.0 
160
149
138
127
116

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Dealing with Depression General Team Discussion Forum Posts

Topics:
Last Post:
11/9/2019 3:44:27 PM
12/13/2019 4:11:57 PM
6/13/2019 8:48:40 AM
1/19/2020 2:43:40 PM
10/4/2019 1:53:38 AM



Thread URL: https://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=0x953x45438334

Review our Community Guidelines