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MRSJARI's Photo MRSJARI Posts: 5,609
11/12/09 12:40 A

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Welcome, Chris. Please continue to shasre with us. And please remember to love your kids and hopefully your wife. Maybe if you start courting her again, she might respond, especially if you try to not argue. My husband & I have been together for 24 years, and have 5 living children, 23 to 7, and they take time, energy, emotions, and more. I have been finding lately that I need him around me more, even if we are among others. I've told him this, and he is trying to be with me, and be home more. It Is helping. The children are still up and down, but they will be gone after a while. I'm babbling, so I'll stop here!

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BLUEROSE73's Photo BLUEROSE73 SparkPoints: (149,624)
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11/11/09 2:19 A

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troubled relationships can make life really suck. I know. I am really struggling with one myself right now. I think it might actually be too late to fix it. However, I need to focus on the fact I deserve to be happy, and I deserve to take the time to work on me for my health. It is important. It is for you too. Besides, I know when I exercise I feel so much better. It helps me cope with the crap going on at home

Saskatchewan Time Zone

You can not change yesterday - it's done.
You can only dream of tomorrow.
The only day you can change is today.
What are you going to do today to reach your goals of tomorrow?

It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it GREAT

Go little Turtle Go!

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11/10/09 8:30 P

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Kids, of any age, are often the best reason to do better, or be better, even teenagers.... emoticon Good luck, and keep posting. One day at a time, one change at a time. Hang in there.

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GLM19566's Photo GLM19566 Posts: 7,139
11/10/09 6:47 P

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Hello & Welcome Glad your here emoticon

The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up.

- John Maxwell, author and public speaker

Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results.
Willie Nelson

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11/10/09 2:49 P

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Hello Chris,
You are always welcome to come to our team to 'get things off your mind.' That is one of the many good things about our group, the support and encouragement that we offer each other. It doesn't sound like things are currently going too well in your household. When you say "fighting" I hope that you mean verbally and there is not actually any physical fighting going on. So what has happened in the past three years that has caused the breakdown in your relationship with your wife? Do you guys love each other and both want to stay married to each other? While it is very important for children to be raised in a home with TWO parents, it is not mandatory. All of this 'fighting' between you and your wife could not possibly be good for the children to witness. Have either of you thought about marriage counseling? A lot of couples have been helped by seeking marriage counseling, and it might also work in your case. Are you seeing anyone for your depression? If not, you might want to check in with your doctor and let him or her know what all is going on in your life. If you are under the care of a professional, it might still be a good idea to get into his or her office for a checkup. I hope that you and your wife can soon get things resolved, but since this has been going on for three years, it may take a little outside intervention. That's advice would be to do what you have to do to try to make the marriage work. You have children, and divorce is very hard on children. However, living in a home with constant 'fighting' and turmoil is also very hard on children. I really don't know which situation is worse, and I hope that your children will not have to be subjected to either of those situations. Our group is very supportive, and we are here for you. Take care, and keep in touch with the team.

Co-Leader of the Fitness Instructors Team
Senior Moderator of the Dealing with Depression Team

I am not a medical professional or a trained counselor. Please seek professional advice about treatment options.

"The reason people find it so hard to be happy is they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be."
-Marc Pagnol
SHERRYCG's Photo SHERRYCG Posts: 502
11/10/09 11:42 A

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Hi Christopher, Welcome to Sparks. Just fighting with your partner is depressing enough. I don't know how you have done it for 3 years. Maybe some sort of counseling would help the relationship. There are free ways to get couples mediation, depending on where you live. You know yourself that you need to continue your healthy path or it is easy to fall into bad habits. I hope your kids are great. Being around constant fighting isn't good for any of you. This probably doesn't help at all Chris but you are not alone. I fight the demons every day. Sherry

SOCCERMOM172's Photo SOCCERMOM172 SparkPoints: (0)
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11/10/09 11:39 A

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I'm sorry you're having a difficult time. Do you see a counselor, therapist or psychiatrist? If so, now would be a good time to call their office and make an appt especially w/ the holidays coming up. If not, now would also be a good time to call and make an appt especially since you wrote that you have no one to really talk to. I have bipolar disorder and SAD and although I can somewhat confide in my DH when I'm depressed I tend to hold back b/c I don't want him to worry too much about me. In my experience, it's very helpful to see a professional about my depression and mood swings. Try to think about your kids and that you're working out and eating healthy so you can be healthy to raise them and watch them grow up. You are worth it! Don't give up!

Keep posting and blogging or journaling. They can help you get things off your mind. There are a lot of wonderful, caring ppl on here who have gone through or are going through similar situations. Try to get out and exercise today. I know that when I force myself to go to the gym when I don't feel like it I'm always glad afterward b/c the workout energizes me and helps lift my spirits. Be kind to yourself. Best wishes!
emoticon emoticon

Edited by: SOCCERMOM172 at: 11/10/2009 (11:39)
Namaste -- "I honor the Spirit in you which is also in me."

Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression Team

I am not a doctor or trained counselor. Please check with your qualified health professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan.

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11/10/09 9:21 A

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Good Morning Everyone. I have no one to really talk too so I am just writting to get things off my mind. I have been married for 13 years this year and for the last three years we have done nothing but fight. Today, I am feeling kinda low. I have not execrised in several days and I just dont feel like it is worth it anymore. The only thing that really keeps me going is my kids. I try to workout and try to eat healthy but my mind and body are trying to go back to the old ways. I dont know what I want to say, my mind is not straight. Thank you all for letting me vent.. this is not all of it .. it is just stuff on my mind. I hope I can shake this feeling and depression soon.

Christopher D. Bell
Southaven, MS 38671

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