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MANDYHUTT's Photo MANDYHUTT Posts: 12
7/13/09 3:21 P

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Hi, Wow, I have not been on here for a long time. I have gained back my weight, weigh more than I probably should and suffer from EXTREME depressive disorder. I have submitted FMLA forms to my work where my doctor was granting me 2 days off a month. I felt so guilty about it that I only take 1, I just felt so much pressure from my work. I used up all my PTO time before I submitted the forms. And sometimes I still miss mid week because I just can't go in. I feel completely worthless. And am scared I will lose my job. I have struggled with depression for so long it feels normal to be depressed and abnormal not to. My husband and kids are supportive. But the depression is out of control, I am tired all of the time. I see my doctor and we adjust some things, but I am still on the same track. Part of it I know is my job. I am a receptionist for a pretty decent sized company. But am completely isolated from others. I have to ask to go to the bathroom so the phones are covered. I eat lunch alone to coordinate with the staff being out of the office and I take my breaks alone. I feel worthless, useless and just so sad. But I have to work because my husband works a commision based job and I can't be a stay home mom like I desire.
I have a very strong church base and I am trying to go through life with God helping me. But I feel so helpless.

On top of all of that, many years ago I submitted to donate bone marrow if there was ever anyone that may be able to use it. Well I was matched with someone who is very sick. And I was told I had to miss 2 days of work to donate. My work won't give it to me. I feel like I have let this patient down. I have lots of guilt.

So often I just want to give up.

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ABBYBERNARD20 Posts: 2
9/2/08 6:40 P

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Thank you for the encouraging words. Like I said, I have never felt this bad before and I am getting the help I need to be mentally strong and healthy. Thanks again!!!!

BETHECHANGE's Photo BETHECHANGE Posts: 3,666
9/2/08 5:31 P

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Good luck with your medical leave. I hope it gives you the time necessary to get a good foot into the healing process.

Take care of yourself.

Tami

"If you're going through hell, keep going"--Winston Churchill
Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid of standing still. --Chinese proverb
Even the darkest hour only has 60 minutes--Morris Mandel
Sometimes a door opens and a human being becomes a way for grace to come through. Rumi


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ABBYBERNARD20 Posts: 2
9/2/08 12:52 P

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I'm getting ready to leave for my second appointment with a psychologist. I was searching the internet for information regarding depression and work and came across this discussion forum. I am going through something very similar. I have been on FMLA for the past two weeks due to depression and can't stop worrying about what work will be like when I get back. I wish I didn't have to go back to work but I do. Now I am trying to learn how to deal with stress and anxiety appropriately so I can deal with working and live a healthy life. My doctor put me on 40 mg of Prozac two weeks ago and I'm just not feeling very good. I ache everywhere and wonder if I will ever feel good again. I have started reading two books recommended to me by my psychologist so hopefully this will begin to sink in. I am so low right now and it is scary because I have never felt like this before. Thanks for listening!

DOWNEASTCAGUN's Photo DOWNEASTCAGUN Posts: 4,055
8/31/08 8:10 P

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MILLERGIRL: sometimes when bad things happen, they turn out to be really, really good things.
i hope everything keeps going up for you!
emoticon

(that's a frog wishing you a HOPPY day)
(oh, sheesh, i'm sorry for that one, it just snuck out!)

Edited by: DOWNEASTCAGUN at: 9/2/2008 (15:06)
* "Take care. Take comfort. Take courage. Take control. Take JOY wherever you find it." (DEC)*
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." - George Carlin


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BETHECHANGE's Photo BETHECHANGE Posts: 3,666
8/31/08 1:21 P

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I'm glad this change has been good for you. Sometimes the universe knows what we need better than we do--and slams that door in your face. Sounds like you discovered another door to yourself.

Tami

"If you're going through hell, keep going"--Winston Churchill
Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid of standing still. --Chinese proverb
Even the darkest hour only has 60 minutes--Morris Mandel
Sometimes a door opens and a human being becomes a way for grace to come through. Rumi


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MILLERGRL's Photo MILLERGRL SparkPoints: (0)
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8/31/08 12:35 P

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It's been a month since it happened and I have to let you know I am SO MUCH HAPPIER. My family and friends can't believe the difference in me-they say I'm back to the old me. I still don't have a job but I no longer have to talk myself off 'the ledge' either. I still panic when I think about the paycheck but the $$ wasn't making me happy. I didn't realize how TOXIC my old boss was-I was psychologically broke down.
A HUGE thank you to each of you. Just knowing someone cared was enough to help me keep getting up each morning. Thank you for reaching out!!!!!

Edited by: MILLERGRL at: 8/31/2008 (12:33)
"The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew every time he sees me, while all the rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them." ~ George Bernard Shaw


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BETHECHANGE's Photo BETHECHANGE Posts: 3,666
7/24/08 4:52 P

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I'm so sorry to hear about that. You can't claim discrimination because they didn't know. I wish you luck in finding a new job that has great insurance. i know you can do it.

Tami

"If you're going through hell, keep going"--Winston Churchill
Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid of standing still. --Chinese proverb
Even the darkest hour only has 60 minutes--Morris Mandel
Sometimes a door opens and a human being becomes a way for grace to come through. Rumi


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MILLERGRL's Photo MILLERGRL SparkPoints: (0)
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7/24/08 3:57 P

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I wish I would have talked to all of you sooner and got the paperwork turned in. I lost my job today. They let me resign w/2 weeks severance pay to help me keep my insurance another month.
I have no idea what I'm going to do now but I know God is faithful.

"The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew every time he sees me, while all the rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them." ~ George Bernard Shaw


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LMARIEM's Photo LMARIEM Posts: 251
7/24/08 12:37 P

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TURN IT IN!!

That will GUARANTEE they cannot legally fire you!

Just make sure that 1) You have been with the company for the length of time required (I can't remember if its' 6 months or a year) and 2) The company has more than 50 employees. Otherwise you do not qualify. It might have changed in the last 6 years since I used it (for maternity leave) so do your homework. But if your doctor filled it out, I will wager you DO qualify and should FULLY take advantage of it!

The only thing that does NOT guarantee is pay during your gone time. But it WILL guarantee your job or an equivilent job.

Good luck!!

-Lisa


-Lisa

"Bad habits must be replaced with a goal, something positive, or they will be replaced with another negative habit"


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ARMATTHAEI's Photo ARMATTHAEI Posts: 2,049
7/24/08 12:05 P

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FMLA paperwork, if I recall, does not say your actual diagnosis or why you need leave from your work of flexibility in your schedule. It does say what your doctor feels you can safely work or that you are being treated for a disorder that will not let you be at work for an estimated period of time.

The others are right about the fact that you cannot be fired related to having filed FMLA. FMLA actually prevents a person from losing their job because of excessive absences from work related to an illness.

I wish you only the best with your boss and this FMLA excperience.

Blessings,
Amanda, RN

Team Leader of Night Shift Nurses
Team Leader of Nurses Everywhere


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LOVITAR's Photo LOVITAR Posts: 1,194
7/23/08 9:00 P

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Agreed! You can not be fired for an illness and they cannot release your personal information, assuming you are in the US. Better to take care of yourself and get the help you need then to get fired from work for letting your depression affect you work.

Eat the food that God gave us, not the "food" that humans created in laboratories


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BETHECHANGE's Photo BETHECHANGE Posts: 3,666
7/23/08 4:33 P

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TURN it in. Once you do they can not fire you for your abscensces and you are protected by law under the americans with disabilties act (ok, my fault, i just assumed you are from the US, if you aren't, let us know so someone can tell you about their experiences in other countries). Anyway, you have a lot more protection once you turn in that form. When you just take "sick" leave, you have no protection and in general they can fire you for excessive leave. Also, you don't have to give it to your boss, you can just give it to personnel, but ultimately I think they can share it with your boss, not sure on that.

And, turning in the paperwork will build a case for you if you ever need to file for disability. it isn't a requirement but does show a history---and those disability folks like proof of histories.

tami

"If you're going through hell, keep going"--Winston Churchill
Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid of standing still. --Chinese proverb
Even the darkest hour only has 60 minutes--Morris Mandel
Sometimes a door opens and a human being becomes a way for grace to come through. Rumi


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WOOHOO5's Photo WOOHOO5 Posts: 106
7/23/08 7:17 A

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I have been on leave from work 3 times over 2 years due to depression. It scared me terribly to do it because I was afraid of losing my job. I am the sole support for myself and my husband. My company was very good and followed the law. The third time they had me see an independent therapist for an evaluation. She totally agreed with my psych and therapist about my situation, and I came back to work after my third leave and have been back for 3 years. It was the best thing I ever did to take care of myself. Somewhere in there I realized that losing myself was far worse that losing my job. I know it's a hard, scary decision. Your employer may or may not know the procedures. You will have to decide what is best for you. But if it makes a difference between getting better and learning to take care of yourself and trying to continue with things the way they are, all I can say is that everyone has a breaking point. You can't help you and your husband unless you are well. I'll be thinking about you. Oh, and the state you live in may affect how well your company handles FMLA. But the previous person is correct. The law protects jobs for people on FMLA.

It is denial that keeps me stuck.

Dr. Nathaniel Branden


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DOWNEASTCAGUN's Photo DOWNEASTCAGUN Posts: 4,055
7/23/08 6:49 A

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There's a little thing called "anti-discrimination law" ... they CAN't fire you because you're depressed. If you're under treatment and are taking steps to beter the situation, you should be able to handle the job.
I would suggest (if you work in a smaller office type setting) that you call a meeting and explain to your coworkers what you have, what the symptoms are, how you are treating it and what they should or should not do when you are "down" ... it's better coming from you than "above".
good luck.
keep us informed on how it goes.

* "Take care. Take comfort. Take courage. Take control. Take JOY wherever you find it." (DEC)*
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." - George Carlin


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MILLERGRL's Photo MILLERGRL SparkPoints: (0)
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7/23/08 6:40 A

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Greetings to all! I've recently being diagnosed with depression (after being in denial for months)and my Dr will fill out the FMLA paperwork for me but I'm afraid to turn it at work. I've missed so much work and am almost out of sick leave. I'm afraid that if I turn in the paperwork they will say I'm no longer competent to do my job. My husband is not working so I literally can't afford to lose my job. My boss is not the most 'warm and friendly' person but I think he cares about me.
I would appreciate your opinion and suggestions.

"The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew every time he sees me, while all the rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them." ~ George Bernard Shaw


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