Group photo
Author:
MARIELLE228's Photo MARIELLE228 SparkPoints: (19,145)
Fitness Minutes: (9,552)
Posts: 198
7/13/15 12:06 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I get more questions/pressure from my MIL than anyone else. I know my parents are looking forward to their first grandchild, but they don't push it. When my MIL starts asking, we simply tell her that we are working on it -- saving up $$, etc. I was pretty offended though the last time it came up. She said to my DH that "I was getting older" and that while she loves me the way that I am, she worries about my health due to my size. In her defense, she didn't know she was on speaker phone, but still, jeese! I wanted to chime in and tell her that we have a plan, but my husband doesn't want to be specific with her, which is probably a good thing!

 current weight: 234.8 
245
220
195
170
145
MOMIN09's Photo MOMIN09 Posts: 26,930
7/13/15 11:51 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I just tell people that when there is something to tell, we will tell them. Until then, please don't ask.

-Nicole

CAMO Crew BLC32

1st Half Marathon Complete! 2:58:57
2nd Half Marathon Complete! 2:52:42
3rd Half Marathon Complete! 3:00:54
4th Half Marathon Complete! 3:31:24
5th Half Marathon Complete! 3:20:33

docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1x_Ri
UXtlL_7pwdrjflA5O7WZCBTTSZfgFS8UN2ReQ5
0/edit#gid=7


 current weight: 224.8 
224.8
206.1
187.4
168.7
150
QTLADY's Photo QTLADY SparkPoints: (100,888)
Fitness Minutes: (109,809)
Posts: 2,302
2/5/15 6:16 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
UGH Katie! I am with you- I do not handle those comments well at all! Thankfully I don't have that anymore, except random strangers.

Amproske, what I love is that somehow, no matter what a person's decision is, it's apparently the world's business. That's one thing I will never understand. And it also extends to major life events and decisions too. I recently went through that and thought I might kill someone before it was over. HAHA

Gwenn


 December Minutes: 133
0
33.75
67.5
101.25
135
TIGGER622's Photo TIGGER622 Posts: 5,468
2/5/15 6:02 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
We have one friend that was constantly asking, always waiting for me to turn down my drink when we are out, insinuating that we were deliberately not having kids.... I was getting so tempted to have Jon just tell her about the miscarriage because certainly that would shut her up (and her husband and her son who were all joining in).

We would make jokes and laugh it off, or I would announce that I was pregnant and ask who wanted to toast or buy me a shot! HA! The shock of the statement from a 'pregnant' woman was enough to distract them from being totally insensitive.

Grrrrrrr. They have finally grown bored of the conversation and have stopped pushing so hard... when it happens it will happen! In the meantime, I try to never push as you never know what others are going through!

Dani

"Slow is smooth, smooth is fast!"


 December Minutes: 41
0
250
500
750
1000
KTLUND99's Photo KTLUND99 Posts: 2,244
2/4/15 5:48 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
It depends. Sometimes I laugh it off or change the subject or just say "someday" or "when they come." DH often tells people that we've been trying and it just hasn't happened for us yet...I wish he wouldn't, but whatever. I finally had an outburst at my family when they mentioned how nice it will be to finally have a girl when we have kids. (I have two nephews.) We can't even get pregnant, and they've decided we're having a girl, picked out a name, etc. I told them we don't even know if we can have kids....and they immediately asked if we were going to adopt. Argh!

So, the short answer is that I don't handle it well.



 current weight: 171.6 
186
178.25
170.5
162.75
155
AMPROSKE1's Photo AMPROSKE1 SparkPoints: (65,348)
Fitness Minutes: (58,650)
Posts: 946
2/3/15 5:04 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Luckily I don't have much of a problem with people asking me or giving me advice. I did until we got pregnant with Jonas- even some cousins of my husbands asking if we had some kind of problem- why weren't we having any kids?

I have the opposite problem with both sides of my family. If I mention that we are thinking of having another one(#3) they are like, "WHY?!" Why do you need more kids? I don't really understand it at all. We don't have any issues with money problems thank God, and everything else is fine. So that hurts too. Especially when they know that #2 came after a long hard battle.

Angela


 December Minutes: 0
0
150
300
450
600
CRINS15's Photo CRINS15 Posts: 433
2/3/15 7:27 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Heartproclaims that would be really funny if you told them all that! I am sure they wouldn't ask you again!

 Pounds lost: 8.4 
0
12
24
36
48
FALLENLEAVES28's Photo FALLENLEAVES28 SparkPoints: (1,267)
Fitness Minutes: (1,068)
Posts: 175
2/3/15 7:15 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Mostly just innocent curious inquires from people at church and fellow class mates.

My mom and my husband are the ones that sort of insist their own opinions. My mom is always advising me not to have kids yet and to wait. Her thinking is that I enjoy my 20s more and save more money; get established.

While I agree with her on the money part I feel I could not enjoy anything more then having kids and being with them.

While my husband is always asking if we can start now. lol.He's about 5.5 years older then me and comes from a society that revolves around having children. I do want to have kids now; plan to this year. But I do want to get in better shape first and get thru next term's tough courses.

It's hard to make others happy. I do know though that if 'mama's not happy nobody's happy'. My happiness is important to creating the enviroment in the home. The mother is the 'heart' of the home as they say. Make choices that will benefit you and in the end your family as-well.

@QTLADY
Glad things are in a better place! Also I like your response to your mother in-law haha.

@Aero
Looking for a job is like a full time job. I went thru this with my husband after he graduated. Will keep a look out for you! My hubby works for Spectra Energy and I believe they expand to those states. Not entirely sure if they hire Aerospace engineers (It's a natural gas and crude oil company), but it's a great company to work for!

 December Minutes: 0
0
210
420
630
840
HEARTPROCLAIMS's Photo HEARTPROCLAIMS SparkPoints: (18,332)
Fitness Minutes: (6,749)
Posts: 418
2/2/15 8:02 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I just tell them it will happen when it happens.

It bothers me though because it's not like we're NOT trying. I just finished my 4th cycle of temping and peeing on all the sticks because I like to drive myself crazy.

Maybe next time I should go into those details of actively trying to conceive and getting negative pregnancy tests each month.

Surprisingly, I get asked this a lot!

{Vanessa}
{Hawaii}

"...Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14 NKJV


 current weight: 226.0 
236
231.5
227
222.5
218
AERO_NERDETTE's Photo AERO_NERDETTE SparkPoints: (19,466)
Fitness Minutes: (13,090)
Posts: 2,484
2/2/15 3:08 P

Send Private Message
Reply
My parents and parents-in-law haven't bugged us about it. They know we want to be closer to home before we have a baby (we live 900 miles from family, in a place that has a really high cost of living). In an ideal world, we'd be able to live within 3 or 4 hours' drive time from my parents, but finding a job in that radius is iffy at best in my field. At the same time, I can feel the clock ticking. I think we've settled on just having one for the time being, but we haven't really started planning for that yet.

Side note: if anyone knows of aerospace engineering jobs in Alabama, Georgia, or northwest Florida, let me know.

Just call me La. Most everyone else does.

Eastern Time Zone (US)

"When you dare to do mighty things, you achieve them. By dreaming big, you accomplish big things." -- Bill Nye (the Science Guy)


 current weight: 188.3 
188.3
174.975
161.65
148.325
135
CRINS15's Photo CRINS15 Posts: 433
2/2/15 2:18 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Yeah if it does come up which is rare, I laugh it off or say sometime soon and kind of leave it at that. I have a friend who just got married though and people are always asking her all the time and I was like I am so thankful our parents/ friends are they way they are!

 Pounds lost: 8.4 
0
12
24
36
48
QTLADY's Photo QTLADY SparkPoints: (100,888)
Fitness Minutes: (109,809)
Posts: 2,302
2/2/15 2:15 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
That's so nice! When I was first married, my mother in law always asked. One day I told her I would have one when hell froze and she never asked again. Most likely not the best way to handle it. Then later my brother in law made some comment that if I loved my husband I would give him a child. Funny thing is, my mother in law piped up on my defense. LOL

Thankfully, I don't have that issue in my second marriage. I did have a caregiver (to my husband's grandfather) make some comment the other day about us having a kid soon because I was getting old. Thanks for the reminder. I just laughed it off.

Gwenn


 December Minutes: 133
0
33.75
67.5
101.25
135
CRINS15's Photo CRINS15 Posts: 433
2/2/15 12:30 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I have to say we have been very fortunate and no one has asked us since we got married this question. My mom always tells me I should wait (ps I am 29) haha and my MIL knows I just started a business and knows we want kids within the next few years so I am guessing they both figure that we will just tell them when we are ready! I had one lady touch my stomach though and ask when we were going to start trying at a place I volunteer at haha I just said we are still enjoying married life and we will see.

 Pounds lost: 8.4 
0
12
24
36
48
QTLADY's Photo QTLADY SparkPoints: (100,888)
Fitness Minutes: (109,809)
Posts: 2,302
2/2/15 8:47 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
How do you handle the inevitable question of when are you having kids? Or if you have a child, when are you having the next one?


Gwenn


 December Minutes: 133
0
33.75
67.5
101.25
135
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Getting Fit Before Baby General Team Discussion Forum Posts

Topics:
Last Post:
1/21/2018 3:45:09 PM
9/30/2018 10:21:30 PM
2/16/2018 12:26:57 PM



Thread URL: https://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=0x952x60534181

Review our Community Guidelines