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POKIEFUZZBUCKET's Photo POKIEFUZZBUCKET SparkPoints: (0)
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1/26/15 7:52 P

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I wouldn't want anyone to move in with us (small house here too!) but I know I will be super grateful for any help that is offered by friends and family, including just spending time with people. I am a homebody but I also have a tendency to get cabin fever!


"I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is'."

- Kurt Vonnegut, in
A Man Without A Country


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MOMIN09's Photo MOMIN09 Posts: 26,816
1/26/15 2:50 P

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I would welcome some help, but for the most part, we would want to do it on our own.

-Nicole

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SUNSHINE084's Photo SUNSHINE084 Posts: 4,464
10/12/14 12:42 A

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Learning to take care of your little one on your own is key.





BUTTONSWORLD's Photo BUTTONSWORLD Posts: 16
10/5/14 12:05 A

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For those debating this question just something to consider if the grandparents are first time grandparents. After my son was born, we had 2 nights to ourselves. My in laws came for a few days. They left. My mother came for 3 weeks. Our house isn't large. While we appreciated all the help they gave, this is what happened.

My in laws were great with feeding us, but not very helpful with the newborn. My mother was great with taking shifts with the baby, but not with cooking. BOTH sides were very opinionated about how I should do things, using information from 30 years ago. Neither bothered to read about what's current. "He's hungry, he needs formula." I am very pro breastfeeding. "Disposable is so much better." We did cloth, which turned out to be the right choice since he has sensitive skin. And the list goes on. Long story short, if the grandparents come, you need to be firm about how you want your baby to be raised and it's OK to tell them what to do.

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RUNLIZZYRUN's Photo RUNLIZZYRUN Posts: 92
9/19/14 12:34 P

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My parents live right across the street from my husband and I (we bought our house first!) and I'm looking forward to having resources close by- but I certainly don't expect them to help all the time, or really any of the time if they don't want to. However, I do know they're really looking forward to grandchildren and I'm excited that my kids will grow up close to their grandparents, something I always wish I had.

Thunder up!


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CANDACEMM's Photo CANDACEMM Posts: 1,218
9/19/14 7:50 A

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I'm going to be a FTM in December. My inlaws are planning to come up for a 'couple of weeks' to help out with the baby and the housework. I am kind of torn because I know that we'll probably need some help and that my husband and I will be walking, talking zombies. I'm worried about my father in law because he expects everyone to entertain him and he's made a few comments about us adjusting the living spaces in our house so he can not worry about hearing the baby. The only person that I will be worried about accommodating and entertaining will be my newborn. Period. Hubby has already had a conversation with his mother about his father's comments and let her know that crap isn't going to fly. I've also put hubby on alert that he's going to need to handle his folks because I'm a feisty Italian known to fly off the handle. :)

ANDCOWSFLY's Photo ANDCOWSFLY Posts: 223
9/18/14 11:09 A

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Omg I really hate hustle bustle so I will likely only want my husband there at least until he goes back to work. Hopefully by then I can handle it.

It will be disappointing though because I'd rather have my mom there if anyone and she likely won't take time off, due to other circumstances she frequently has to take time off for. My MIL might try but she has a tough time knowing when she is more in the way than helpful and my SIL will have already had two so maybe she won't be as interested! Maybe I'll get lucky and my lil sis (9 yrs old currently) will be out of school for a holiday like summer or Christmas and could help.

~Amanda~

"Do not let ambitions overshadow small success."

"When you lift yourself up instead of breaking yourself down, life is so much easier!" -Caitlin of Operation Beautiful


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QTLADY's Photo QTLADY SparkPoints: (98,398)
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9/18/14 9:31 A

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I would say that I most likely welcome some help, but I don't think I would want my parents to stay for a long period of time. Knowing my mom she will come, especially since I live far away. I would prefer to have some time to get everything under my belt. If I do ever get pregnant, I'm leaning toward a c-section, so most likely I would need a little more help.

Gwenn


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KTLUND99's Photo KTLUND99 Posts: 2,244
9/15/14 2:13 P

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I'd like the time to figure things out as a new family and do it on our own. My parents, on the other hand, are more "hands-on" so I'm sure would like to be there with us. We'll discuss it when we get pregnant.

I'm sure after a week of sleep deprivation, though, I'd welcome the help!



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HUGHESBOYS4's Photo HUGHESBOYS4 SparkPoints: (28,919)
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9/15/14 1:19 P

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Short visits are nice but I think we'll be ok by ourselves since this is #5 for us. My MIL is apparently coming up from Florida for a "week or two" to help me but I told my husband he needs to let her know that I'm not "entertaining" her for that length of time. Our last kids were twins that we did ourselves working opposite shifts so I think we'll be ok!



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AERO_NERDETTE's Photo AERO_NERDETTE SparkPoints: (19,466)
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9/15/14 12:58 P

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It depends on where we're living when we have our baby (will be our first). Right now, we live 900 miles away from our families and friends, so we probably wouldn't have much hustle and bustle unless my parents came up to help out. If we lived closer, we'd have friends and family constantly wanting to visit, or at least bringing food (typical in the South; my home church has a "food ministry" for events like births in a family).

That being said, I'll probably want some "down time" to just get used to having the baby at home with us, since I'm one of those people who needs to recover after having a lot of attention (it took me three days to recover after all the attention from our wedding). After two or three weeks, I'll probably take down the "do not disturb" and start inviting over one or two friends/family members at a time so we don't overstimulate baby or overtax ourselves with constant visitors.

This is, however, in the future quite a bit and therefore up in the air; we're not planning to start TTC until the end of next summer.

Edit: After some thought, if we are living closer to home when baby arrives, I'd probably not mind my mom being around, if only to act as "gatekeeper" -- keeping out uninvited/unannounced guests until we are ready to have folks over, and accepting any food/gifts for us. She's also really good at organizing stuff, which we'll probably need help with.

Edited by: AERO_NERDETTE at: 9/15/2014 (13:20)
Just call me La. Most everyone else does.

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CJGODESS101's Photo CJGODESS101 SparkPoints: (30,781)
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9/15/14 11:01 A

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I would want my parents for a short period of time. I haven't been around babies at all, so some guidance will be needed.

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KHCHARMED1987's Photo KHCHARMED1987 Posts: 398
9/15/14 10:25 A

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I think I would prefer to do it on our own but know that our family is there if we need help. Our parents won't be around all the time to help and it would be good to be able to do it by ourselves!

Karly


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QTLADY's Photo QTLADY SparkPoints: (98,398)
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9/15/14 10:02 A

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Do you want family to assist you after you have a baby, or would you prefer to do it on your own first?


Gwenn


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