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GUESTFAIRY's Photo GUESTFAIRY Posts: 679
10/9/09 10:53 P

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Gosh, honey, that must hurt!

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He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? -- Micah 6:8, KJV
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"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward...blessed is the man that hath his quiver full of them." Psalm 127:3, 5a KJV


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MARA03's Photo MARA03 Posts: 2,822
10/9/09 7:41 P

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How much do you want to bet he's a young sexy surgeon? LOL Oh god...lol I'm trying to make jokes cause I'm terrified!! lol You should have seen me choke out the words to my mom that I'd just gotten my first period at 12. I haven't come far enough to say to a Dr, i pushed my rocket head son so hard I now have two severe fissures LOL I'm not above writing it down on a piece of paper and sliding it over to him lol Thankfully this is his "specialty" so I know I'm not the only one with this problem. I have felt a little stress melt away sicne booking the consult. Especially knowing it's not that far away

Mara


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UPSADAESY's Photo UPSADAESY Posts: 948
10/9/09 6:39 P

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I'm sorry to hear about your anemia and lump, though I'm sure it's something completely benign. Glad you're getting help though and I'll be sending good thoughts your way so that everything goes a-ok!

Jana


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NIKKIV2's Photo NIKKIV2 Posts: 6,225
10/8/09 7:35 P

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Mara I hope all goes well for you. I am glad you are getting the help you need. I will keep you in my prayers.

Nikki

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LOLAGEEK's Photo LOLAGEEK Posts: 1,125
10/8/09 6:43 P

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Oh Mara, I am just reading this thread now. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. These kinds of surgeries and tears are not really talked about too often. Mamas really do need to be given more consideration after giving birth beyond the typical 6-week and one-year evaluation. Good luck with the surgery and recovery. Around here (Boulder, CO) I know one physical therapists who helps women work with repairing their pelvic floor and sphincter when things don't go well with vaginal deliveries. Her name is Michele Kreisberg and she may be able to help you find someone in your area if you are interested.

Just a dork trying to get healthier. I can also be found at
read.ossumniss.com/ or my prenatal blog
bodhibear.blogspot.com/

Namaste


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MARA03's Photo MARA03 Posts: 2,822
10/8/09 5:56 P

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Thanks everyone. I went to my Dr and he is sending me to the surgeon. I go Oct 26th. Just to fill some others in without being graphic, it's butt surgery LOL It came down to my health because I got some blood work back and because of the amount of blood I lose with this, I'm dangerously anemic and they have now found a lump. It could be nothing, something referred to as a skin tag common in areas that have had trauma or injury but they want to make sure. So I guess it's time to suck up my pride and face this head on (ass on? LOL) Cause I need my life back.

Mara


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DORANEI8's Photo DORANEI8 Posts: 2,451
10/5/09 5:09 P

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Good luck Mara! The odds are in your favor, and just think of how much of a better mommy you will be to your kids when this pain is gone! You can do this!
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~*~*~*Dora*~*~*~





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UPSADAESY's Photo UPSADAESY Posts: 948
10/5/09 4:26 A

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Mara I know what kind of risk you're talking about, but I'd still take that over constant pain. I'm not at all embarassed about the issue, but I won't discuss it openly for your sake. :)

Anyway, 90% odds are great and I'm sure you'll be fine. :) If you can, find a good surgeon, one who's done this many times.

Jana


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NIKKIV2's Photo NIKKIV2 Posts: 6,225
10/2/09 7:47 P

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I am so glad that you are getting the consult. I think in the long run you will be glad that you didn't keep putting it off. Please keep us posted. We all worry about you.

Nikki

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JENVOSE's Photo JENVOSE Posts: 1,132
10/1/09 4:18 P

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Oh Mara, I'm sorry for all you're having to go through!

Personally, it sounds to me like the surgery is the best option. After all, if this condition continues to get worse, you're going to be in a situation where you can't go out of the house, either, so 90% success rate sounds pretty good, in that case. Also, tears like this lead to a really dangerous rate of infection. I hope things will work out for you and that you'll be at ease with your decision.

Share your musical and weight loss goals with me at: teams.sparkpeople.com/pickgrinlose


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FAMILYTRADITION's Photo FAMILYTRADITION Posts: 706
10/1/09 3:50 P

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I'm really glad you are getting the consult! Your condition is obviously having an impact on your daily life, so something must be done. All surgeries have risks...patients are gamblers...gambling that they won't be the 'statistic.' I'm a nurse, every day I talk with people who are gambling that way, and in reality, most complications are uncommon. Those that are common are usually minor. I hope everything goes well for you and that you are able to get back to your normal life.
Good luck!

"Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values. "
-Ayn Rand


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MARA03's Photo MARA03 Posts: 2,822
10/1/09 12:55 P

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Nikki thats where I feel stupid. I knew all the risks asscosiated with a VBAC, and against all judgement, I was doing it anyways lol And I know that with all those risks, what ended up happening was very minimal, and could have happened to anyone at anytime, it was form the force of pushing him so hard so fast. Thats why I feel like well I guess this is what I get for being so stubborn lol I am going to my dr though to start this. I'm g oing to get a consult with the surgeon.

Mara


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NIKKIV2's Photo NIKKIV2 Posts: 6,225
9/30/09 11:01 P

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Mara I am one that doesn't really fear surgery but would never ever think someone was being an idiot for having a fear of it. It is a risk. I know a lady who had to have 3 surgeries after giving birth to her first child. I give you credit for doing a VBAC. I know you had your heart set on one and you accomplished your goal. If surgery is what really needs to be done I would recommend it to help you be the best you can be for yourself and your family.

Good luck and know you are in my prayers.

Nikki

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GUESTFAIRY's Photo GUESTFAIRY Posts: 679
9/30/09 10:04 P

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Of course! In fact, you can AIM or Gmailchat me or message me here or email me or Facebook me or... you get the picture :)

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He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? -- Micah 6:8, KJV
---
"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward...blessed is the man that hath his quiver full of them." Psalm 127:3, 5a KJV


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MARA03's Photo MARA03 Posts: 2,822
9/30/09 8:39 P

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Thank you. I appreciate the support. I've spoken with my Dr and for this particular thing, surgery is needed. It was a tear that should have reapired itself in 3 weeks, but its been 5 months, something is preventing it from healing. A muscle pressure. So if they make a cut in the muscle, problem fixed. But its in one of those areas, you don't want to mess with LOL I'm much too embarrassed to be any clearer LOL Guest you made me feel much better by what you had to say, especailly having the same disorders as I do. Is there any way I can possibly send you a private message? I might be able to explain a bit more, maybe oyu know somethign about it! lol

Mara


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GUESTFAIRY's Photo GUESTFAIRY Posts: 679
9/30/09 6:10 P

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K, you're not an idiot. Second, having a baby naturally is hardly selfish. Third, I also have panic attacks, and OCD as well, and I did fantastic being awake for my c-section. Granted, I studied for a few weeks ahead of time and memorized several passages of scripture so I would have something to say to myself if (when) I got freaked out, but I'm utterly petrified of general anesthesia, so I was ready to do anything to avoid being put under.

Are you absolutely certain that surgery is the only option to correct the problem? You might get a second opinion. Also, you can ask how you can decrease the risks, or possibly see a specialist in that field to reduce your risk of adverse reactions.

To be perfectly honest, I'd probably have waited around, too, hoping that my body would just fix itself. So don't be too hard on yourself.

I would suggest doing the same thing you did when you learned you wanted to have a V-BAC -- research, and second opinions. Obviously if it's gone on for this long, a little longer to decide and know that you've made the best decision probably isn't going to hurt.

I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I've prayed for you, that you would receive discernment to know the best course of action, and peace in the outcome.

physicalcreaturespiritualwar.blogspo
t.com/

He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? -- Micah 6:8, KJV
---
"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward...blessed is the man that hath his quiver full of them." Psalm 127:3, 5a KJV


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LILLYSMOM10's Photo LILLYSMOM10 Posts: 187
9/30/09 5:11 P

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Having just had gallbladder surgery I can sympathize with you if you are afraid of the actual process! As for the side effects... I agree that if 90% percent go ok then those are pretty good odds. You want to feel good so you can enjoy your children and not feel like your missing out due to pain. You're a great mom a I'm sure you want to be a 100% when you're with them!

Ultimately though...trust your instinct and your body. I know you said you feel like your being punished for being "bullheaded" about your natural delivery but nobody else knows the limits of your body (or mind, or pain levels)like you do. Keep focusing on how amazing you felt after the big push when you got your baby and try to feel comforted by the fact that surgery could relieve your pain.

Good luck! Good thoughts. I'll be thinking of you!

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SUNNYD76's Photo SUNNYD76 Posts: 1,625
9/30/09 1:42 P

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It's super easy to get stuck on the negatives of any situation. When you see those negative thoughts going through your head...start thinking about all the positives....think about what you will be able to do if you aren't in pain all the time.

Everyday is a winding road/ I get a little bit closer/ Everyday is a faded sign/I get a little closer to feeling fine. -Sheryl Crow


Fall down seven times. Get up eight. -Japanese proverb.

"I can do all things through Christ Who Strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13







MARA03's Photo MARA03 Posts: 2,822
9/30/09 11:40 A

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It does seem different when you say it that way. I suppose I'm being a little pessimistic because I kind of figured, it would be my crappy luck that would make me one of the 8%. I really wish I could talk to my fmaily, at least my mom without her telling me I'm being an idiot or being selfish.

Mara


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SUNNYD76's Photo SUNNYD76 Posts: 1,625
9/30/09 11:20 A

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Everything in life has risks. I could walk across the street tomorrow and get hit by a bus without any warning. There was a risk to your life when you were in childbirth. In the usa there is a 1.5% chance of dying while giving birth. You face these risks every day.

You said that 90% of these surgeries are successful. So it is not like you are taking a large risk. If I told you you had a 90% chance of winning a million dollars you would say sign me up right? Instead of focusing on the 10% of bad, focus on the 90% of good...you will have your pain relieved!

Edited by: SUNNYD76 at: 9/30/2009 (13:46)
Everyday is a winding road/ I get a little bit closer/ Everyday is a faded sign/I get a little closer to feeling fine. -Sheryl Crow


Fall down seven times. Get up eight. -Japanese proverb.

"I can do all things through Christ Who Strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13







MARA03's Photo MARA03 Posts: 2,822
9/30/09 10:38 A

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Just a warning here, I'm going to be very vaugue. I'm still not comfortable talking about this, its humiliating to me and I can't even talk to my own fmaily about it. I just need to get some of this out befor eI have a breakdown.

So, it stems from when I had Chace. Most of you know I had a very sucessful VBAC. I've come to regret that choice. His heartrate spiked after a few pushes to 206 and I was told to push really hard and get him out. So I did. Felt wonderful for me to push my baby out. But I sufered a major tear that needed 33 stitches. It wasn't until the swelling went down when I was at home I came to realize, I'd suffered another tear, somewhere else. I ended up with a very painful muscle tear that went very deep. And now 5 months later, its ecruciatingly painful, and much deeper than I once thought. And nwo I beleive a second tear had occured. I've tried the home treatments and medication my Dr prescribed, but it's just not working naymore. I'm getting worse. So my only option left is surgery. The onyl surgery I've ever had was my c-section, and I didn't enjoy that overly much either. This one is done as day surgery, usually under local anthestetic, but for me and my panic disorder, my Dr has suggested General. It doesn't take long and you s hould be able to go home that day. And from what I've read, the results are instant. However, the possible side effects are NOT good. Not dangerous, but very humiliating and can possibly change your life (make it so you can't go out of the house)The numbers I looked at were 90% of these surgeries are effective, only 10% may have this problem reoccur. and 8% have had the embarrassing side effects. So I'm wondering, do I take the chance on this surgery knowing I could be one of the 8 out of 100 people who have had the side effects? Or do I look at the 90% who had total recovery and never had a problem again? I've been putting my Dr off for this because I am terrified. I don't care how stupid it sounds, I'm absolutley petrified of this. I would have continued to ignore it, hjowever my pain tolerance has reached it's limit. I can barely sit stand or walk because of this, and I feel like my quality of life right now sucks. I don't go out and do things with my kids, I'm not eating and not sleeping because of the pain. But those side effects hang over my head and make me go, ok the pain isn't so bad then I'm fine, even though I'm sitting there crying it hurts so much. My mom keeps telling me I'm being stupid, if I'm in pain, get the surgery fix it. She has had several surgeries for things so it doesn't phase her. But how can I do this surgery knowing that I could go out one day and have something humiliating happen to me because I couldn't control it? I'm so tired of the pain but I'm so scared to fix it. I feel like this is my punishment for being so bullheaded for demanding I delivery my son naturally.

Mara


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