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CALGALFOX's Photo CALGALFOX Posts: 7,239
9/29/18 2:45 P

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WOO HOO I'm booking a trip to Morocco!!! We'll fly into Barcelona and make our way slowly to Morocco and there we have a tour, then we'll stay in Marrakech for a couple of days, then Portugal and back!!! I'm loving the retirement thing!

We come back from that trip and head to Hawaii two weeks later where we'll stay and snorkel, then catch a cruise around to the different islands then it heads to Alaska!

I'm a HAPPY camper!

“Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... WOW! What a ride!”
~Author Unknown

CALGALFOX's Photo CALGALFOX Posts: 7,239
9/28/18 8:32 P

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Jen - That boy/girl thing is interesting. I always thought boys would be way easier than raising a girl...and I was right, for me. My son is a lovely man...and one of our very own team members would heartily agree since she married him! If I had to choose one thing that I think was the most pivotal in both their lives is that we listened and talked "with" them, not at them...and I mean from early babyhood. Asking them for decisions from the get-go, do you want to wear this, or that? Do you want to bring a sweater or do you think it's warm enough? How many apples should we buy, 5 or 6...let's count them. I think that the active engagement saw our relationships through and I wouldn't change that. When they were teens they were used to discussing everything and even if (especially with our daughter) they were arguments, it was good.

I absolutely loved every stage!

Oh, one piece of advice that my mother gave me that I appreciate more than anything! She said, pay attention to the "last's" more than the "first's". I remember the last time my daughter breastfed and the last time my son was willing to be rocked to sleep...and I've got to say that it is totally precious to me that my mother told me that and I took it to heart!

“Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... WOW! What a ride!”
~Author Unknown

HEATHHILL's Photo HEATHHILL Posts: 7,994
9/28/18 9:10 A

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Jen, I'm glad you like it!!!

My thought on raising a boy is raise him to be a responsible human, just like you'd raise a girl to be a responsible human. Raising a person is hard.......

- Heather -

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"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle

JAHINTZY's Photo JAHINTZY SparkPoints: (21,816)
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9/27/18 8:04 P

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Heather, that blog is awesome!

Jen

"For if that which you seek, you find not within yourself - you will never find it without."


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JAHINTZY's Photo JAHINTZY SparkPoints: (21,816)
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9/27/18 7:46 P

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I haven't been following closely, but I absolutely feel like that kind of behavior should count against someone being considered for so high a position. Probably because I had it hammered into my head that if I ever even got caught drinking under age I'd never be able to be a teacher (background checks). I was raised to have a very conservative standard of behavior (though liberal in acceptance of varying lifestyles, cultures, etc). The whole I can do anything and get away with it because money and privilege attitude will piss me off real quick. Sooo that probably shows how I feel about a lot of the "ruling class" haha

As for accusations of assault, I don't think that's something someone easily forgets. Obviously coming forward with such a thing in this culture is horribly difficult and I don't think anyone would just martyr themselves like that either.

Knowing that I'm about to have a son it has made me ponder how I'll raise him. I always found myself wondering about how to raise a girl, I never thought much about having a boy.

Jen

"For if that which you seek, you find not within yourself - you will never find it without."


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CALGALFOX's Photo CALGALFOX Posts: 7,239
9/27/18 5:48 P

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Many women could have been her! I’ll have to wait until I go home to watch it.

While I agree that it was a long time ago, I too am having a problem with now owning up to the drinking, partying and all that can go with that. That’s just not something you can hide if you were a party guy in school people will remember that!

I have issues with him on the abortion rights so I’d be generally against him. I want the right to choose and I want that right for my daughter...

Thinking about testifying...I could easily see having someone famous, highly placed or political being in the harassing position having grown up in Santa Barbara. I did troubleshooting with bars and restaurants so servers and cocktail waitresses would talk about the many, many stories, some were about the rich and famous.

Edited by: CALGALFOX at: 9/27/2018 (18:19)
“Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... WOW! What a ride!”
~Author Unknown

HEATHHILL's Photo HEATHHILL Posts: 7,994
9/27/18 2:34 P

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I watched as much of that testimony as I could. I've been on hold a lot with the IRS today, so I had some time. That was awful. That poor woman. I could have been her. She really broke my heart.


- Heather -

Co-Leader Swimming for Cardio Team

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"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle

HEATHHILL's Photo HEATHHILL Posts: 7,994
9/27/18 8:54 A

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Well, Carol, I'm willing........political and personal........

All of the talk of Kavanaugh has brought back some fairly uncomfortable memories for me as well. Boys just thought they could do what they wanted, and no one made them act better. I want to be clear that obviously not all boys acted poorly. I remember the boys in French class who snapped my bra strap every day. I loved French, but dreaded the class because I couldn't make them stop. I was 12 and in seventh grade. It goes on from there.....kisses I didn't want, hands on me I didn't consent to, being assaulted on the street by three drunk guys when I was 19, and on and on.......I remember all of those guys. I remember where I was and how scared I was. I could tell you when and where these things happened. But most of my friends couldn't corroborate most things, because I didn't tell people. No one told anyone.

I couldn't identify the three teenagers who assaulted me well enough to have them arrested, because I got their height and weight wrong. I reported it, spent hours in the police station, told my story to like 4 different police officers and detectives, and nothing happened because my physical description was off by a few inches and pounds. By my description of them, my friend (from whom I was separated when it happened) knew who they were because they lived on the street where it happened, and she had even hung out with them earlier in the summer (they all lived at the beach for the summer, working). Even with all that, I couldn't get them arrested. I went in a police car to their house and saw them come to the door when the cop knocked on their door. I recognized them. But my immediate description of them in the police report didn't match them well enough, so the detective apologized to me and told me there was nothing else he could do. No wonder no one reports these things. I don't remember their names now, although perhaps my old friend does.

But if I knew who they were, and they were being confirmed to be on the Supreme Court, I'd say something, regardless of how hard it would be. I will add here that when I got home from the vacation where this happened (a week at the beach with my friend and her family) the only thing my mom said to me was "what were you wearing". My own mom........we're not super close. For the record, I was wearing jeans and a baggy black sweatshirt that came halfway down my thighs.

I believe these women. I am two years younger than Kavanaugh. I grew up in the privileged suburbs of DC. I knew a whole lot of guys like him. Elitist, entitled, misogynistic, cruel, unkind. I don't doubt for one minute he was exactly who these people say he was.

I believe in redemption and an ability to change. But it has to start with an honest assessment of behavior and taking responsibility for your actions. Kavanaugh is incapable of this. He's clearly able to lie easily about his high school and college drinking. Why should I believe him on anything else he says?

It's been a somewhat stressful few weeks as this is all is coming out and being discussed. I appreciate being able to share here, because I sure can't share this anywhere else.

I believe he isn't qualified to serve on the Supreme Court because he has proven himself to be able to easily lie and he has some trouble evaluating honestly his own behavior. Is this the kind of person I want on the Supreme Court making decisions that affect all of us for a very long time? No, I don't think he's qualified. I think he's the culmination of 40 years of political action by conservative extremists whose end goal was to get the Supreme Court to be conservative and overturn what they see as years of judicial political action from the bench that changed the country in ways they do not like. I didn't make this up on my own, I've read lots of political articles on this subject.

So, there it is. Political opinions are informed by our personal experiences and so now you know a bit more about me, and my political thoughts. Perhaps more than you wanted to ever know about me.........

- Heather -

Co-Leader Swimming for Cardio Team

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"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle

CALGALFOX's Photo CALGALFOX Posts: 7,239
9/26/18 4:16 P

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Okay - politics here. The Kavanaugh debate. My husband is very gender-blind and so it was really interesting when talking about Kavanaugh he commented that he didn't think he could remember something clearly from 35 years ago. It shocked me. After thinking about it for a few minutes I told him that I could clearly and absolutely remember every single sexual assault on me that ever happened. From groping to grabbing and thankfully nothing worse. But, I remember the faces, the actions and could probably get it down to year. Certainly, if I saw a face of someone who had done those things to me, I would know them.

Yes, times were different and you had to put up with way more than you have to today, but that doesn't make it right or okay. If it had been more extreme I can believe that it could screw you up, especially in the area of trust.

I think it's a separate question as to whether that makes him fit for the position or not.

What do you guys think? If you're willing to go political...

“Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... WOW! What a ride!”
~Author Unknown

CALGALFOX's Photo CALGALFOX Posts: 7,239
9/26/18 4:01 P

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Wow Heather, it sounds like it was good in some ways that you needed to go back to the hospital! Those baby nurses and staff LOVE babies. They were always trying to get me to let them have Jay because he was so content and big. They called him Mr. Mellow. ...and he still is!

My mom was all set to come and be with us for the first week and then she caught a cold! I have four older siblings that all had babies before me, so I was comfortable with everything, it just would have been nice to have my mom there. I was a volunteer with the La Leche League (the breastfeeding group) so the breastfeeding was comfortable too.

“Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... WOW! What a ride!”
~Author Unknown

HEATHHILL's Photo HEATHHILL Posts: 7,994
9/26/18 2:23 P

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Kourtney, I have found the mothering blog for you. I feel like you will really like this woman. Jen, maybe you will, I'm not quite certain. But I'm pretty certain Kourtney will love her

www.renegademothering.com/20
13/02/09/i
-became-a-mother-and-died-to
-live/


If you are offended by strong language, don't read this blog. You've been warned.....

- Heather -

Co-Leader Swimming for Cardio Team

Co-Leader Members Motivating Members Team

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle

HEATHHILL's Photo HEATHHILL Posts: 7,994
9/26/18 9:56 A

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Sydney was so tiny, but I really didn't know much about babies so I didn't worry too much. She was slightly jaundiced, but they let her go home with me the second day after she was born telling me to get her in sunlight because that would help break up the bilirubin. It was over 100 degrees in NYC the week she was born, and so we didn't get her in enough sunlight bc it was so hot!

Took her back for her one week check-up, and they were like.....uhhhh.....your baby is really jaundiced and we have to admit her and keep her a few days under lights to make her healthy. I was confused about what I was supposed to do.....then I realized I also was staying in the hospital a few nights because of course she needed me every few hours to nurse and I had to be there to do that and take care of her. It was truly exhausting. But I clearly remember this amazingly sweet nurse's aide who asked me if the baby needed a bath. I said I had tried, but I didn't know how to do it. She sat with me, and showed me how, and was so kind I cried. I had no one in my life to help me with that kind of stuff. I should mention she was down to 4 1/2 pounds as she lost a few ounces after birth. She was so amazingly small, yet I didn't even realize how small she really was. Her face was so lacking in baby fat that she had these high cheek bones. She was so amazing.

I also recall a resident coming in with another resident just as we were being released because he wanted to show her the beautiful baby who was in for treatment. They were also so kind.....and he's right, she was beautiful.

It was in the days before cell phone cameras so we have hardly any pictures of her so small. I wish I had more of them! My God I love that child!!

Enjoy the baby times.......it's fleeting even if it feels like it's going on forever. It won't.......but you'll remember all the details just like I do........and it'll make you cry someday with joy over how much you love that kid!!

- Heather -

Co-Leader Swimming for Cardio Team

Co-Leader Members Motivating Members Team

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle

CALGALFOX's Photo CALGALFOX Posts: 7,239
9/25/18 10:02 P

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Hahaha - OMG under 5 pounds?! My son was a hair shy of 10 lbs! I never had to brace his neck and he never felt fragile. One of my friends had a 5.5 pound baby and I visited her in the hospital, she asked if I wanted to hold her Rosie who looked infinitely breakable and I thought no way!

“Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... WOW! What a ride!”
~Author Unknown

JAHINTZY's Photo JAHINTZY SparkPoints: (21,816)
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9/25/18 12:49 P

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Aww yeah I bet that whole other family dynamics is a big learning experience aside from the boyfriend piece.

I'm glad the candle sales were so good! I have a festival in two weeks, need to get my stuff together for that...

I've been having better fasting numbers and meeting with a doula tonight... The march towards December continues...

I put on one of my cooler weather dresses today and it fits better than it did in the spring!! I gotta say for all the stress and annoyance that the diabetes is, the food has done well for me lol. I'll do my best to keep it up after the boy comes. I certainly haven't been calorie restricted - only carbs restricted to about 75-100 g per day which is what works to keep my post meal sugars in range.
I do miss the occasional cake though...

Jen

"For if that which you seek, you find not within yourself - you will never find it without."


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HEATHHILL's Photo HEATHHILL Posts: 7,994
9/24/18 9:24 A

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Good Morning everyone!! I hope everyone had a great weekend. I sold a LOT of candles this weekend. It was so much fun. I absolutely love selling our handmade candles and this weekend I actually made some real money at it, so that was awesome too! Fall is the time to sell, so I'm doing a craft fair pretty much every weekend, sometimes both days. It's a lot of fun.

My baby girl (actually teenager, right?) went away for the weekend with her boyfriend's family. It was interesting for her because it's really the first time she's spent so much time with a family that isn't hers. Let's just say their approach to life is radically different than ours, and it was a challenge for her to navigate her way through other people's values. I'm curious what kind of affect this might have on their relationship. We knew the family was really different in their approach to life than we are, but we don't know how this might influence her thoughts about Michael. We'll see.......we like the kid, he's very kind to Sydney and I think he's terrified enough of his father that he won't misbehave with her. But that's kinda sad really because they have a very adversarial and not super supportive relationship. Complete opposite of our relationship with Sydney. It's always a new thing with a kid!! Living and learning.....

All that baby talk last week really was fun to read!! I'm so happy for both of you!! It was a very long and difficult (and expensive!) process for me to get pregnant, and I enjoyed every second of it. My tiny little girl didn't kick as hard as you guys describe! She also was born 5 weeks early and only 4 lbs 11 oz, so she was pretty tiny!! She was fine, but little. Maybe that's why the kicking wasn't so vigorous for me, or maybe she just slept a lot!!

Have a FUN and ACTIVE week!!

- Heather -

Co-Leader Swimming for Cardio Team

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"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle

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