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HAPPYGIRL511's Photo HAPPYGIRL511 Posts: 1,541
5/16/13 6:03 A

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I don't exercise at all.
If God had wanted me to touch my toes
He would have put them up higher on my body. emoticon

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out,
but I can usually sedate her with four or five cupcakes.


I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.

Edited by: HAPPYGIRL511 at: 5/16/2013 (06:06)
•*.♥•*¨`*.•♥♥•.*•*.ϖ
9;•*¨`*.•♥
♥The Magic is in You •♥
& You Are Worth It!!
Debbie
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HAPPYGIRL511's Photo HAPPYGIRL511 Posts: 1,541
5/11/13 6:03 P

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Q: What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed

Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? A: The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew chew".

Q: Why did the birdie go to the hospital? A: To get a tweetment.

Q: Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? A: Because she couldn't control her pupils?




•*.♥•*¨`*.•♥♥•.*•*.ϖ
9;•*¨`*.•♥
♥The Magic is in You •♥
& You Are Worth It!!
Debbie
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9;♥•.


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HAPPYGIRL511's Photo HAPPYGIRL511 Posts: 1,541
4/30/13 6:27 A

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'Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married." emoticon

•*.♥•*¨`*.•♥♥•.*•*.ϖ
9;•*¨`*.•♥
♥The Magic is in You •♥
& You Are Worth It!!
Debbie
*.•♥♥•.*•*.♥•*¨`*.•ϖ
9;♥•.


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HAPPYGIRL511's Photo HAPPYGIRL511 Posts: 1,541
4/30/13 6:15 A

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Fish cost a fortune
Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune!

The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"

The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

•*.♥•*¨`*.•♥♥•.*•*.ϖ
9;•*¨`*.•♥
♥The Magic is in You •♥
& You Are Worth It!!
Debbie
*.•♥♥•.*•*.♥•*¨`*.•ϖ
9;♥•.


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HAPPYGIRL511's Photo HAPPYGIRL511 Posts: 1,541
4/27/13 8:18 P

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Joke:

A blonde was terribly overweight so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day. Repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll be at least 5 pounds lighter."

When teh blonde returned 2 weeks later, the doctor was shocked when she got on the scale. She had lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why that's amazing", said the doctor, "I take it you really followed my instructions." "Yes I did, nodded the blonde, "but I have to tell you I thought I was going to drop dead every 3rd day." "From Hunger?" asked the doctor.

"No, from skipping."

•*.♥•*¨`*.•♥♥•.*•*.ϖ
9;•*¨`*.•♥
♥The Magic is in You •♥
& You Are Worth It!!
Debbie
*.•♥♥•.*•*.♥•*¨`*.•ϖ
9;♥•.


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HAPPYGIRL511's Photo HAPPYGIRL511 Posts: 1,541
4/23/13 7:53 P

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A mother was at the beach with her children when her 4 yr. old son ran up to her, grabbed her hand, and led her to the shore whre a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Mommy, what happened to him?" the little boy asked. "He died and went to heaven." "But why did God throw him back?"

•*.♥•*¨`*.•♥♥•.*•*.ϖ
9;•*¨`*.•♥
♥The Magic is in You •♥
& You Are Worth It!!
Debbie
*.•♥♥•.*•*.♥•*¨`*.•ϖ
9;♥•.


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HAPPYGIRL511's Photo HAPPYGIRL511 Posts: 1,541
4/22/13 5:29 P

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A kindergarten class went on a field trip to their local police station.
Tacked up on the bulletin board in the squad room , the kids saw a group of photos labeled, "the 10 Most Wanted."
One of the youngsters pointed to a mug shot and asked if it really was the photo of a criminal. "Yes," said the policeman, "the detectives want him very badly."
"Then why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

•*.♥•*¨`*.•♥♥•.*•*.ϖ
9;•*¨`*.•♥
♥The Magic is in You •♥
& You Are Worth It!!
Debbie
*.•♥♥•.*•*.♥•*¨`*.•ϖ
9;♥•.


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HAPPYGIRL511's Photo HAPPYGIRL511 Posts: 1,541
4/19/13 7:41 A

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When a woman got married she put a shoebox in the closet and told her husband not to open it. After over 50 years of marriage she was dying and told him to open the box. When he opened it there were 2 doilies and $85,000.00 He ask why this was in the box. She replied “when I got married my mother told me to crochet a doily every time I got mad at you. He smile thinking she was only mad twice and ask what the $85,000.00 was. She replied that's the money from selling the doilies.




•*.♥•*¨`*.•♥♥•.*•*.ϖ
9;•*¨`*.•♥
♥The Magic is in You •♥
& You Are Worth It!!
Debbie
*.•♥♥•.*•*.♥•*¨`*.•ϖ
9;♥•.


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HAPPYGIRL511's Photo HAPPYGIRL511 Posts: 1,541
4/18/13 6:13 A

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I called the Psychic Friends Network, They said, "Who's calling?" I said, "You tell me." by Broderick Rice emoticon

•*.♥•*¨`*.•♥♥•.*•*.ϖ
9;•*¨`*.•♥
♥The Magic is in You •♥
& You Are Worth It!!
Debbie
*.•♥♥•.*•*.♥•*¨`*.•ϖ
9;♥•.


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HAPPYGIRL511's Photo HAPPYGIRL511 Posts: 1,541
4/13/13 12:21 P

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Hi team, this is where you can share a funny joke or two. Laughter is good medicine and good for the soul so let's start Gettin' Happy Here! emoticon

•*.♥•*¨`*.•♥♥•.*•*.ϖ
9;•*¨`*.•♥
♥The Magic is in You •♥
& You Are Worth It!!
Debbie
*.•♥♥•.*•*.♥•*¨`*.•ϖ
9;♥•.


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