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LAURANCE's Photo LAURANCE SparkPoints: (305,618)
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12/17/13 8:32 P

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I'm trying to regain a sense of self-efficacy and just plain Self! I feel like other people'' property. When I told the shrink that my depression is due to being disempowered, he just looked kind of blank, as if he didn't get it.

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SHANTI66's Photo SHANTI66 Posts: 158
12/17/13 7:20 P

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Hi, thanks for asking! :-) I've had depression most of my life. I had an extreme nervous breakdown in 2007, a few short months since I got married to my, yes, Soul Mate. My weight throughout adulthood was around 125 lbs (and less when I was young) I had to work at it and I did. I am more than twice that now due to the depression, isolation, sadness, lack of motivation and the fact that I keep falling when I go out for a walk! lol I had 35 ECT sessions that ruined my life. I have lost most of my autobiographical memory (don't remember my wedding, honeymoon, graduations, travel overseas and North America (:I just found out that I've been to Seattle, Spokane and even Germany!!!), have cognitive problems, lost ALL of my friends 9and they never came back, even though I was always kind to them), my mom for 3.5 yrs (she's back for the last 6 months plus I have a very, very Special Spark Momma:) and all other family left too (I'm an only child). And I lost a very successful career as a cognitive scientist (12 years of an Ivy League Education I paid for totally myself!!, even though I was too depressed, abandoned, foster care, etc. to even begin to complete high school), and educational interventionist for vulnerable students. I am so glad to have a forum like this here. I want the best for us all. We have been through a lot. For myself, I need to remind myself that I have depression when it becomes hard to think straight, I feel isolated, alone and misunderstood. But joy always comes...if our body-mind allows us to look and see it.
All best wishes for the holidays, especially if you're alone. We'll be here for you. You are never spiritually alone. And the new year??? It's going to rock! I mean, come on, 2014??Doesn't that just sound great! (I'm into numbers). And I want to give a special hug and thank you to Indy Girl because around 4 months or so ago, I was feeling ready to give up (especially on my weight) and I read her story somehow, somewhere, and she gave me hope. I hope I pass it on, forever. Thank you.

I can do this. You can do this. We can do this. One pound, one step at a time. Setbacks are normal. Just get back up and kick some butt. Challenge yourself to be the best you have ever been. If not now, when? This site has everything you need to succeed. Ask for help; give some help. Push yourself to the limit. No more hiding behind a mediocre life. Make yours the ultimate -- it's the only one you've got. What are you weighting 4? The time is NOW!


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LAURANCE's Photo LAURANCE SparkPoints: (305,618)
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11/6/13 11:38 A

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My depression is aggravated by my being a burned-out caregiver with no end in sight. I'm on a Caregiver's support team and the dealing with depression team. It's good to have other people to touch base with.

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~INDYGIRL's Photo ~INDYGIRL Posts: 15,970
11/6/13 10:11 A

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TOTALLY YES! Clinical major depression and bipolar with anxiety and OCD.
Yikes! My meds control it for the most part, along with years of therapy. I still see someone.


Life is happening now, not 10 pounds from now.

230 lbs lost without surgery, crazy diets, diet products, or extreme exercise- so have hope!

Bethd101@comcast.net 317-964-3202 for texting

To join my team, go to Team ~Indygirl www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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LAURANCE's Photo LAURANCE SparkPoints: (305,618)
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11/5/13 9:09 P

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Yes, I have a lot of trouble with depression. I've been depressed all my adult life with the exception of a wonderful year and a half when I was not married or in a relationship.

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SNOWTGRR's Photo SNOWTGRR Posts: 691
3/25/13 10:36 P

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I have Depression as well. I totally understand how one can lay in bed all day and wonder how the day went by in a blink. I have done that myself. I've even actually slept all night, the next day and the next night. You are not alone.

I personally have gone through a ton of therapy with a great therapist who is kind and gentle but gets the job done. I am on Cymbalta as well. I like Cymbalta better than Lexapro because it doesn't make me sleepy in the morning. That never helped to get me out of bed. Cymbalta also helps with my nerve pain. lol I have a great Psych as well who is very willing to work with me on my meds to get it down to the minimum I have to take. I have severe spinal degeneration and several other things wrong in my spine and that doesn't help. I'm only 50 after all.

I also have a Service Dog as well, that helps me get up and out. It's part of my plan to survive. One of the things I have to do is walk the dog every day. That is a commitment to my dog as well as to myself. He also bugs me if he thinks that I'm staying in bed to long! lol There are only so many kisses one can get before one just has to get up to get away from "The Tongue"! He also will start jumping onto me if he has to in order to get me up. That rarely happens anymore though. I have found that it really helps me.

I also have PTSD due to growing up in my parents house and from how my father treated me. So any loud noises as well as loud angry voices really set me off so it helps me to have Milo with me to keep me more grounded and realize it is OK. I'm going to live. I know I would just stay in my house and never leave otherwise.

I have a wonderful Husband who is very supportive and a fine place to live and a daughter who is cool to be with. All this didn't stop me from trying to commit suicide about 4 years ago. It's not about what or whom is around you it is about what is inside you. What have you not dealt with from your life. What ever it is it will keep coming back until you work on it and either resolve it or get a plan of action when it comes up.

I was at 265 pounds at the beginning of my journey. I'm now down to 205 pounds. I'm on my way down to 170 pounds so I can have my next back surgery and then I'm down to 160 pounds so I will have lost 100 pounds. After that I have to wait a year and be stable before I can get the excess skin off. But that is way down the road. At least 2-3 years.

It is good that you can change for two days at a time. That's better than not changing at all. It takes a month to change a habit. It doesn't matter what habit it is. What happens after those two days? What triggers you back to the same old thing? What can you do for three days next time? Then four and so on?

Don't get me wrong I have my days as well. lol Every day is a choice with me. Every meal is a choice with me. How I want to be is a choice with me. OK, so sometimes the pain is just to much. But even then I can choose to be in pain or choose to take the pain meds. I can choose to be a mean person or I can choose to warn my family and sequester myself so I don't yell at them. I'm the one in charge of me. Sometimes that is a scary thing. The question I ask is "What would I do if I wasn't afraid?".

The other good option is to read a little book called "Who Moved My Cheese?". It reads like a fairy tale and will only take you about an hour but has very good lessons that can be used in any situation. I read it at least 4 times a year. Each time I read something new from it. I am in a different place to get a different lesson from it. The other one I use is "Whale Done". I have that on CD so I listen to it. It is another one that is extremely applicable to multiple situations. I have huge issues of accentuating the negative. "Whale Done" showed that to me and gave me ways to deal with that.

Or you can do nothing and have everything remain the same. It is up to you. You are in charge of you.

lol I'm in bed on pain meds because I over did it today as it is. On the other hand I got a ton of stuff done that I wanted to get done. Sometimes it is a trade off. Feel free to message me if you want to. That goes to anyone who wishes to converse with me on this topic. I do check once a day at least. Now it's time to have my Bun for dinner.

Patty emoticon

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JENAE954 Posts: 7,020
3/25/13 10:26 P

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I have been depressed my whole life.
The doctor believes I have had it since birth.
Had n abusive childhood which didn't help the situation.
Never got treatment until I was an adult.
The family was ashamed of me because of my depression.

Today I am well managed and don't get depressed very often.
That was my story up until two weeks ago.
I needed an adjustment of the medication.

Am feeling better after a week of a boosting med.

Thanks for bringing up the subject.
It really needs to be discussed more often.

Jenae


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AZURE-SKY Posts: 1,954
3/25/13 7:12 P

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I've struggled for years to lose weight, but was only diagnosed hypothyroid in 2010, and it took about 6-9 months to get my dosage right. I am losing slowly (but a lot of that is my fault because I don't like to exercise - LOL). But I'm feeling a lot better.

"It's never too late to be who you might have been."
** George Eliot

"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity."
** Amelia Earhart

"Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight."
** Helen Keller


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FITISIN07's Photo FITISIN07 Posts: 305
3/25/13 6:50 P

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I am so amazed at the wonderful people I meet on sparkpeople. Thank you all for your words and inspiration and for being brave enough to post about your own depression. It's not easy. Sometimes people really judge and I know it's because they don't understand but it can really hurt. I read a lot of good stuff here. Azure, I will definitely talk to my dr. Last year she did test my thyroid and it came back in the low normal and she said we will keep an eye on it but I have almost every single symptom you listed. She is fairly new at being a dr. so perhaps she doesn't realize medication could still be warranted even with a low normal.
Iamagemlover- I am going to check out that team in a few. It sounds like the thing I really need right now. Congratulations on your goal. That is terrific. I am wonering. Did you follow any special diets or did you follow spark?
Thanks again everyone. Take good care.

Alicia from Maine...

YOUR LIFE IS A RESULT OF THE CHOICES YOU MAKE... IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR LIFE IT IS TIME TO START MAKING BETTER CHOICES.


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MAGA99's Photo MAGA99 Posts: 14,317
3/25/13 6:02 P

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I suffer from sever depression my dr causes it massive depressive n I have bipolar

sometimes my depression will come out of nowhere sometimes even when things r good it will show up

My enemies don't be glad because of my troubles!
I may have fallen, but I will get up;
I may be sitting in the dark, but the Lord is my light
Micah 7:8


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AZURE-SKY Posts: 1,954
3/25/13 1:24 P

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Gemlover - It should be part of your standard blood work. There are several tests done, they can test the T3 & T4 hormones, but the standard test is the TSH - Thyroid Stimulating Hormone.

Sometimes, you can be hypothyroid and still have test results in the "normal" range, so if the doctor suspects you might be hypothyroid, she'll start you out on the a very low dose of meds, then test you again in about 6 weeks. They keep adjusting the medication until the symptoms improve or the results improve. It can take some time. They don't want to start you out on a high dose, because it can mess things up even more.

When the doctor tells you to swallow while she has her fingers on your throat is to feel for nodules or growths on the thryroid gland.

Common hypothyroid symptoms include fatigue, weight gain, constipation, fuzzy thinking, low blood pressure, fluid retention, depression, body pain, slow reflexes. All of these symptoms are vague and can be missed or attributed to other conditions (or even lifestyle) - because we've probably all had some of them at some time.

Here's a website with lots of info, written by a hypothyroid sufferer and activist.

thyroid.about.com/

"It's never too late to be who you might have been."
** George Eliot

"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity."
** Amelia Earhart

"Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight."
** Helen Keller


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CAROL3SAN's Photo CAROL3SAN Posts: 20,126
3/25/13 1:00 P

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The best thing for depression (in addition to getting checked out by your doctor) is to get out of the house and do something enjoyable. Even if it is a simple thing like taking a walk in the park. But don't stay home brooding...that will be unhelpful to your recovery.


"You never know just how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"
Unknown
"....This above all, to thine own self be true"
Wm Shakespheare
"If it is to be its up to me"


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IAMAGEMLOVER's Photo IAMAGEMLOVER Posts: 36,937
3/25/13 12:38 P

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AZURE-SKY --I did not know this. You learn something new everyday. Do they check your thyroid at your annual physicals? I am going to have to ask my Dr.

I love SparkPeople

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

I am responsible for my own happiness.

My name is Bonnie I live in CT ET

I went from 258 to 126 pounds and have maintained it since 12/28/12.

Too Blessed to be Stressed.






62 Days until:  autumn
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AZURE-SKY Posts: 1,954
3/25/13 12:36 P

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Have you had your thyroid checked recently? One of the symptoms of hypothyroid is depression, and often, the thyroid condition is ignored, while the depression is treated.

Being hypothyroid also affects your weight loss, your energy, your whole attitude. As a matter of fact, minor depression is what sent me to the doctor in the first place. She gave me a full physical and labs, found my thyroid levels were "low-normal" and put me on thyroid medication. In a very short time, I was feeling better mentally. I still struggle with my weight loss - it's slow, but I've adjusted to that.

I hope you all get relief.

"It's never too late to be who you might have been."
** George Eliot

"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity."
** Amelia Earhart

"Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight."
** Helen Keller


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TEXASLYNN's Photo TEXASLYNN Posts: 3,841
3/25/13 12:02 P

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When I was in my early 20s, I had severe depression to the degree I attempted suicide with an overdose of sleeping pills. In years since then, I have bad days now and again but can usually turn myself around by being extra kind to me, taking time to read, journal, etc. It is a dark world and any depressed person has my deepest sympathy but I'm not going to support them or my self when I recognize a pity party coming on. Does that sound unkind? I don't mean it to but I've discovered the quickest way to get really down is give in to self pity. I find something outside myself to take me outside myself and change my focus.

Jesus Christ is Lord!

Make your words sweet; you may have to eat them!

No More Homeless Pets

On the Eighth Day God Created Texas

Stamp Out Puppy Mills


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IAMAGEMLOVER's Photo IAMAGEMLOVER Posts: 36,937
3/25/13 11:34 A

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HI Alicia. There is a team on SparkPeople Dealing with Depression. It is a very supportive and caring team. I am one of the leaders. It has almost one million members so you know that you are not alone. Depression is a disease just like diabetes, cancer and the common cold is. You have received a lot of good suggestions. I am on cymbalta, topomax and just recently the Dr. prescribed Xanax because my son is very ill.

There is hope. I weighed 248 pounds in February 2011. I went shopping with my Mom because I was taking her to Penn Dutch Country for her 85th birthday present. I couldn't keep up with a 85 year old woman. I wanted to go home. I was tired, my knees hurt, my back hurt and I was depressed because nothing was fitting me and looking good on me.

I now weight 131.4 and just reached my goal of fitting into size 8 Jordache skinny jeans. emoticon Took me 2 years but I did it and so can you. It is not easy, in fact I wrote a blog and describe my journey as Blood Sweat & Tears. I read a very inspirational blog today. It is a featured blog. Here is the link. Please read it if you haven't. The Power of Can www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
ur
nal_individual.asp?blog_id=5297863


As I said my son is ill. I know where you are coming from about not wanting to do anything. I went through 1 1/2 weeks of that. I have logged my food faithfully every single day. I didn't for over a week. I didn't exercise, I binged, pizza, ice cream, McDonalds, cookies, you name it. It wasn't helping my son though, and it was hurting me. My spark friends gently pointed this out to me and so did my real friends and family. I am faking it until I make it. Even 10 minutes a day. Like the blog says, instead of I can't think I can. If I can be of any help to you, just spark mail me. I hope you think about joining the DwD team.

I love SparkPeople

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

I am responsible for my own happiness.

My name is Bonnie I live in CT ET

I went from 258 to 126 pounds and have maintained it since 12/28/12.

Too Blessed to be Stressed.






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CYND59's Photo CYND59 Posts: 7,691
3/25/13 9:25 A

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I have had depression off and on for years. I have been on and off medications. I chose not to medicate myself. I must say that when I am eating healthy and getting exercise I do feel much better. Life is not easy...Handle with prayer!

"Always concentrate on how far you have come, rather than how far you have left to go. The difference in how easy it seems will amaze you."
---Heidi Johnson

(:-)Cyndi G
Penscaola, FL


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LINDAOZ62 Posts: 7
3/25/13 8:08 A

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I do struggle too, but this is something I read today. I am going to print it and pin it to my bulletin board.

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7, NLT


CAMPERLIVING's Photo CAMPERLIVING SparkPoints: (44,312)
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3/25/13 7:59 A

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So sorry for the loss of your sister. That is difficult to get through for sure. Depression is indeed a wicked beast that can steal your life from you. I spent years living in an abusive situation and was very depressed to the point of wanting to give up. Fortunately for me my ex kicked me out!! Best thing that every happened. During the past 10 years I have found that the old habits of seeing only the negative puts me back into despair. I pull back from society and family and curl up in my cocoon. For me it was definitely a time when I needed to be pushed into getting involved in something. I had to make it a physical involvement because online involvement was too easy to just ignore. I've been going to a class that is holding me accountable every week and that started the ball rolling. I found that exercise finally really did put the feel good juice back in my blood. If I take time off I can fall back in the rut real easy. I think that keeping accountable for an extended time will get me into the routine where I hope to be able to keep myself accountable.

On the exercise front, I too have Rheumatoid Arthritis that is quite painful, but I found that my exercise, which I learned how to modify for my needs, doesn't make it any worse and might help in the long run. So i can be in pain and lay around or be in pain and get moving. I chose the latter. In the beginning it is so difficult which is where the physical contact and being on Spark comes into play. Do try it. Coach Nicole has some wonderful videos and the chair exercise group has some great stuff for those who really need to modify.

I hope you will begin to feel better soon. Feel free to send me a message. I'd love to join your encouragement team as I need to keep on top of it, too.
emoticon emoticon

Which came first, the tornado or the travel trailer??


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MOJOQUILTER SparkPoints: (12,463)
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3/25/13 7:59 A

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I have suffered from depression on occasion. I have a son who battles it constantly. Some things that have helped me a gratitude journal. At the end of each day I write 5 things I am grateful for they can be small or big. By doing this I look for the good in each day, throughout the day and not the other stuff. Doing yoga can help as much as being on medications. Meditation also can help. Just journaling helps. A counselor can help a lot. Just hang in there you are worth it and it will get better. Mary Jo

WILMA102's Photo WILMA102 Posts: 1,479
3/25/13 6:18 A

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Yes I have times when it seems hopeless but they only last a week or less

Team Leader
Victoriana
Prednisone Before and After
Cass County NE Sparkers
"Eastern Star"


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EVIE4NOW Posts: 31,529
3/25/13 1:13 A

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hi ladies, am so sorry for your difficulty dealing with depression and for the loss of your sister. I went thru a phase.. new home, tons of stuff to do and buy.. bigger house.. seemed like I couldn't keep up. once I got organized I reached out to the community. joined a couple of clubs and did volunteer work. since then I have rarely even had the blues .. so I am lucky that it didn't stick around. they say depression wanders in when you have a major health problem and I have had several but still didn't get depressed. always figured.. better me then a young mother with small children. try joining a club or 2 with activities you enjoy, or take a class to learn more about a craft you'd like to learn or photography.. anything.. when you keep busy even with volunteer work it takes your mind off your own problems.

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GINA180847's Photo GINA180847 Posts: 8,702
3/24/13 11:17 P

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Depression can creep up easily. Life changes and so do we. I feel so lucky with my life right now but there have been times despair was my middle name.

"The world is one country and mankind its citizens" one of the many truths spoken by Baha'u'llah and "Love is the light that guideth in darkness, the living link that uniteth God with man, that assureth the progress of every illumined soul."


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FITISIN07's Photo FITISIN07 Posts: 305
3/24/13 10:12 P

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Hi Debbie. I am so sorry for your loss. That's got to be very difficult. I would love to get each other motivated. Maybe we could let each other know how we feel and try to figure out one thing we could do to change our mind set. I know I get into this thinking that is no good. I dwell on all the bad. it makes it difficult to see the light. You just lost your sister so give your self some time. Take good care of yourself. I'll be thinking of you and I will check in and sparkmail you tomorrow. Night....

Alicia

Alicia from Maine...

YOUR LIFE IS A RESULT OF THE CHOICES YOU MAKE... IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR LIFE IT IS TIME TO START MAKING BETTER CHOICES.


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FITISIN07's Photo FITISIN07 Posts: 305
3/24/13 10:07 P

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ooops

Edited by: FITISIN07 at: 3/24/2013 (22:14)
Alicia from Maine...

YOUR LIFE IS A RESULT OF THE CHOICES YOU MAKE... IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR LIFE IT IS TIME TO START MAKING BETTER CHOICES.


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ANNIEMAE56 SparkPoints: (0)
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3/24/13 9:13 P

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Hi my name is Debbie what you wrote sounds like it could be me. I also try to get back on track but seems like i'm not strong enough or just lazy. I come home from work and set on the couch til bedtime knowing I should get up and do something but I just can't do it.

I lost my sister a month ago and I have been more depressed than ever. I just can't seem to shake it. She had a massive stroke and then a heart attack she was overweight to and I know if I don't do something I will probably end up that way too.

I don't mean to sound so down about it I know you want some advice but I could use some too. I have about 100 lbs to get off. it is so hard to stay on track. maybe we could encourage each other.

Thanks for letting me say what is on my mind.

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FITISIN07's Photo FITISIN07 Posts: 305
3/24/13 8:45 P

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Hello, I have had depression most of my life. I have been on antidepressants and then the side effects were too much so I would go off of them and now I am back on 10 mg of Lexapro. I have currently had surgery so perhaps that it why my depression seems to be creeping in even more. I find myself crying a lot. Thinking my life is so boring. So lonely. So inactive. I know I don't always do what I am supposed to do when it comes to working out. I have had difficulties getting back into it. I do about 10 minutes on my exercise bike and some stretches for my knee from pt. This isn't going to get rid of this 260lb body. I know I have to do more. Eat less. not eat what I am eating. I feel sick. I feel sad that my life isn't getting better. Does anyone have any ideas or would like to share your own story about depression? I have been reading up on depression and know that a lot of things I do like not get out of bed, or feel like I am the only one, is a symptom to depression. I know my weight doesn't help. You know, I have a great husband, a home, it's not all bad. But It's missing something. Even when I don't have to lay in bed from pain I do. All day most days. Watching tv. I live my life through TV. Sorry this is so long but I need to reach out or I am going to gain even more weight and then who knows what's going to happen. I just don't know what else to do with myself. Every time I say I will change I do for two days then it's back to bed. Thank you for reading this.

Alicia from Maine...

YOUR LIFE IS A RESULT OF THE CHOICES YOU MAKE... IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR LIFE IT IS TIME TO START MAKING BETTER CHOICES.


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