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BEACHBREEZE's Photo BEACHBREEZE Posts: 23
8/4/11 5:17 P

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Those are very thoughtful messages! I thank each one of you for being so honest. It is making me think back to when I first started to put on my weight. I remember feeling so unsatisfied with myself. And so unattractive. And I lost confidence in myself.

Well, in October 2007 I finally got my act together and lost most of the weight I needed to. Then there were a lot of pressures in my life (none of them to do with my sweet husband thank goodness) and I began to loose my drive to finish up. Well I have gained a good portion of that weight back and must now get back on the bandwagon and get that off and the rest of it too.

My mental state was so great when I had lost MOST of the weight and I wasn't even finished yet. So, I can imagine how I would have felt if I had lost it all. I am so looking forward to that day. I just have to keep my eye on the "prize"...being comfortable in my own skin!

Peace & Love

"Whether you think you can or cannot, you are right." -- Henry Ford

"The more you live, the less you die." -- Janis Joplin


 current weight: 157.0 
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8/2/11 10:33 P

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My weight gain has been hard, especially because I love to shop. Not being able to look good in something (shirt, skirt, whatever) that I think is amazing is the worst feeling ever for me! I think that I deluded myself for a long time and thought that I could still look the same in something that used to look amazing on my body, but seeing pictures and talking honestly with my family has helped me realize that I deserve to look good in these clothes once again.

My mental state definitely goes up and down with the day, but thinking about getting back into my size 8 jeans and looking great helps me power through!

 current weight: 180.4 
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9OFSWORDSNOMORE's Photo 9OFSWORDSNOMORE SparkPoints: (0)
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7/25/11 10:01 P

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I've noticed that I want to go out in social situations less. Especially with my husband's friends. I feel like I am always being judged. I have also been asked when my baby is due, which completely caused a breakdown. I hate that I am the heaviest person in my family. I feel like a failure and hate summer because I want to wear my hoodie!!!

I am ready for those feelings to go away for good! I am ready to run around with my clients if it is to catch them before running into the street or playing at the park! I am ready to be confident again! I am ready to love me again!!!!!

 current weight: 186.0 
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SWAYDE's Photo SWAYDE SparkPoints: (40,644)
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7/25/11 12:14 P

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It depresses me. It makes me more withdrawn and fearful than I used to be. I try to convince myself that I have just as much fun being home by myself than out doing things, but even though a lot of the time I really do enjoy stuff I can do alone at home, I miss being part of groups and doing things outside of my house and being adventurous.

I miss swimming especially. I was always such a good swimmer and loved to be in the water. I've been swimming since I was 9 months old, before I could walk. But lately I've just been too embarrassed to get into a bathing suit around other people and swim, so I just avoid it. I was also a big fan of amusement parks and going on rides and loved them, but I can't even fit on most rides any more.

I love my life and I am very blessed. I just am very dissatisfied with my body and lack of physical fitness. So it is time to do something about it. And that is why I am here =)

~Barb~
Florida - Eastern Time Zone

www.fitbit.com/user/23L434

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26


 current weight: 226.0 
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7/25/11 11:09 A

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"We are the same people inside our bodies no matter what size aren't we?"
Right on! It's taken me years to remember that...

I've been heavy all my life, and I dealt with how it affected my mental state in different ways during different points of my life. In high school, I didn't dress femininely at all - wore guys pants, guys shoes, cut my hair short - a lot of it was a coping technique for some other stuff that was going on, but I also liked dressing that way because it made me feel like it didn't matter if I looked the way I thought girls should look (skinny) because I wasn't trying to. In college, I dated a guy who was really athletic and into martial arts, and I did a bunch of crazy diets to try to make him happy. When I broke up with him, that was a big factor (he made me feel really unattractive even though I was only about 150-160 then). After that, when I went to grad school, I went to a school that had many weight and health-conscious students because it has a huge college of medicine, nursing, nutrition, etc., and my roommate was vegan. At that time, I started losing some weight just by how much walking I had to do and being influenced by the people around me to eat healthier. That was when I also started really looking at how I would make myself feel bad for how big I was. I did a lot of reading and started really getting on board with a lot of body-positive stuff - it seemed revolutionary to me to affirm to myself that I deserved to be treated with love and acceptance as much as I would if I were thinner. I'm still very conscious of how heavy people, whether we're 30 or 300 pounds overweight, sometimes get treated as less than human - and being treated that way is NO way to motivate someone to make healthier choices, and even then, that's not where my value as a person lies.

Anyway.... right now, I'm trying to keep hold of that self-acceptance and let that help me stay motivated. I want to lose weight to get ready to be a mom in the next couple of years, to have many years to spend with my husband, to be as healthy and happy as possible - but I can love who I am right now, too.

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SHELLSARIN's Photo SHELLSARIN SparkPoints: (0)
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7/25/11 10:16 A

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One of the things I noticed as the weight went on was how it effected my thinking. My sense of self continued to go down, People actually said things to me and acted differently to me than they had before. I had a 12 or 13 year old boy tell me that I was fat while I was out walking...How can these things not effect you?

What do you feel like? Are you able to keep your confidence up and feel good about yourself? We are the same people inside our bodies no matter what size aren't we? emoticon

 current weight: 210.2 
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