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3/15/15 1:33 P

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I am having a very hard time trying to get back on track. I was doing well the first few weeks, but after our last hospital stay, I started sneaking bad foods. At first it was just a few sneaky treats. We got some bad news about my little boy's heart conditions, I said to hell with it and went on a week long binge. Worse of all, now I am feeding my son that same garbage that I constantly tell him he shouldn't be eating. I have to get us back on track. Our next phase of treatment will take everything he has got. His little heart is already in pretty bad shape. He needs a third heart surgery, and his chemo will cause some damage they say, and I am over here feeding him this junk. I didn't log anything all week, so I went back to plug it all in and was giving myself a pat on the back for not abandoning SP when things got bad- like I always do. Then, to my horror, I recalled all the pizza, doughnuts, cookies, chips, cake, burgers, fries... I feel so sick. I gave those things to my child! What the hell was I thinking? I wish I could take it all back. Well, the party's over. Time to face reality. Living in denial wasn't that great anyways. I just hope that I didn't cause too much damage to my already fragile little boy.

"The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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