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FRAN641's Photo FRAN641 Posts: 1,276
11/14/10 6:04 P

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First, I'm sorry you are going through this and it's wonderful that you have offered your help taking care of your sister.

My friend's son treated her terrible while he was going through his cancer. He only lived 9 months and my friend decided that if he needed to take his anger out on her it was the only gift she could give him at the time.

BUT I was on Predizone a few years ago (not for cancer) and treated my family with such hostility and rage, very unusual behavior for me, and I could not stop myself. It was ROID rage magnified! Since my diagnosis of fNHL I have taken predizone without those side effects and my family is SO grateful. If your sister is taking preds she may be out of control. But take care of yourself and hopefully someone will offer more help then I have on how to deal with all of this terrible stuff going on. Your sister may need more help than you can provide if she is taking it all out on you.

I pray this is resolved somehow and you get a break from the abuse soon. As for her disease, you didn't cause, you can't cure and you darn sure can't control it. Take some time to refresh your spirit. Good luck, Fran

A sense of humor keeps things in perspective for me.

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11/14/10 1:31 P

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Hi. My sister, age 26, was diagnosed with leukemia (AML) almost a month ago and is in remission. Before taking a little break, I was her caregiver and advocate for a few weeks at the hospital to help her in any way she needed.

I am very confused at the moment, and am wondering if anyone can provide me with some insight. It seems like cancer has made my sister downright mean and hateful towards me. She has a type A personality, and had always somewhat respected me as her older sister during our adult lives. After her diagnosis, however, I feel like I've been her punching bag, and almost anything I do triggers her anger. She says hurtful things to me when I am around her and she tells her friends unflattering lies about me on the phone when I am in the room. I've asked her why she has acted rude towards me when I tried to help her, and she responded with exactly these words, "I have cancer. It's all about me." She is not this way with our parents or her friends.

I understand my sister's diagnosis is a huge shock and that she is having a hard time coping. I understand she is projecting her anger towards the disease at me. I also understand that pain meds can make people act unusual. However, my sister acts nicer towards me when she is high on pain meds, and uses almost abusive language towards me when she is not medicated: this is what confuses me.

When my sister was first diagnosed she asked me to come help her, and I flew across the country and left my family behind at that very moment. Now, it seems like she is angry that I am even around. I try to not take her behavior personally and say to myself that she has BOMS (Bitter Old Man Syndrome), but I wonder sometimes if her hostility towards me are her real feelings about me.

I don't want to sound like I am complaining. I love my sister and want to help her, but I am feeling very confused. Is it normal for cancer patients to act like this?


“Work as hard as you ask others to. Strive for what you believe is right, no matter the odds. Learn that mistakes can be the best teacher.” ~ George Steinbrenner III


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