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DEBBIE_J's Photo DEBBIE_J Posts: 1,135
11/5/10 11:27 P

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LOL, both of these are hysterical!

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CANDYM4's Photo CANDYM4 SparkPoints: (0)
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10/31/10 6:06 P

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Good one.
Candy

I am not alone God is with me in this and all endeavors I take.

I live in Topeka, KS.

My NASCAR driver is Dale Jr., his number is 88.


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GHK1962's Photo GHK1962 Posts: 4,087
10/31/10 2:11 P

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Hahahahaha....that was GREAT!



You may say I'm a dreamer...but I'm not the only one...
~ John Lennon ~


Life's like a movie, write your own ending...
~ Kermit the Frog ~


L*I*T*A*'s Photo L*I*T*A* Posts: 226,846
10/31/10 1:20 P

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One night, she confided to him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum
of money if she would go back to Italy to secretly have the child.

Also, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would provide child
support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a postcard, and
write 'Spaghetti' on the back when the child was born.

He would then arrange for the Child Support Payments to begin.

One day, about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

'Honey,' she said, 'You received a very strange postcard today.'

'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said.

The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and
fainted.

On the card was written:

Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

Three with meatballs, two without.

Send extra sauce.





There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.
When you get to a plateau, think of it as a landing on the stairway to your goal. And
maintenance is a lifelong plateau, so a bit of "rehearsal" for maintenance isn't the worst thing in the world
Breathe in love & compassion.. Breathe out peace & forgiveness.

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CHRISTINE-CCRN's Photo CHRISTINE-CCRN SparkPoints: (14,221)
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9/17/10 6:48 P

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Boy...isn't that the truth.

christine


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L*I*T*A*'s Photo L*I*T*A* Posts: 226,846
9/17/10 5:26 P

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Ladies, here is one for YOU!

Men, read carefully and take note


A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and 20 wrappers strewn all around the front yard.



The door of his wife's car was open, and so the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.



In the front room the TV was blaring loudly a cartoon channel and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.



In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.



He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.



He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.



As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor.



Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.



As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel.



She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.



He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?'



She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?'



Yes,' was his incredulous reply.



She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.'



There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.
When you get to a plateau, think of it as a landing on the stairway to your goal. And
maintenance is a lifelong plateau, so a bit of "rehearsal" for maintenance isn't the worst thing in the world
Breathe in love & compassion.. Breathe out peace & forgiveness.

Pacific time


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