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DAWNFIRE72's Photo DAWNFIRE72 SparkPoints: (66,170)
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4/11/12 9:42 P

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Thank you all so much for the advice.

Cincy thank you for Googling it for me. I remember that the day of the funeral they mentioned the burning ceremony but I was not really clear as to what that was and it seemed to be a private matter so assumed it had something to do with her personal belongings. I guess it is a bit of a grey area as it was made for but never given to the deceased and I will be sure to discuss this with my daughter that her friend's sister may accept the gift as a token of love but may never use it (I always remind myself of this when I make any gift. The recipient may not like it or may not use it in the way I had imagined).

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BONBON561's Photo BONBON561 Posts: 31,051
4/11/12 2:15 P

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emoticon emoticon Be sure to give your DD plenty of love and understanding at this time

Bonnie from KY
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CINCYDORA's Photo CINCYDORA Posts: 3,505
4/11/12 10:58 A

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I did a quick Google search and it's not definitive. It appears there is no proscription against giving the gift, in other words the sister likely won't be offended to receive the gif. However, tradition seems to be the belongings of the deceased are burned or buried with them. Since the friend never actually owned the scarf, though, it might not be an issue. If there isn't another member of the First Nations that you could ask for advice, then perhaps when your daughter gives the gift she can face the issue head on.

My suggestion to your daughter: Say she is giving the scarf because she loved her friend and her friend loved her sister. Admit she doesn't know the family tradition and say whatever the sister chooses to do with is ok and your daughter won't be offended if the sister never wears it. Present it as a token of love and I don't see how it could go wrong.

I'm tearing up just thinking about it and what your daughter is going through. I've said it before but it's worth saying again: I'm so sorry.

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PRUPLEBEAR's Photo PRUPLEBEAR Posts: 26,372
4/11/12 8:58 A

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I am with everyone esle. HUGS To you both

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TWEETYKC00's Photo TWEETYKC00 Posts: 161,349
4/11/12 6:03 A

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I agree, maybe it would be best to ask someone else from their family or something to find out.

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LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 56,373
4/10/12 11:35 P

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First of all, please give your daughter a gigantic hug for me. What a horrible thing for a child to have to endure. And how sweet of her to want to honor her friend this way.

I'd suggest that she either google the specific tribe and read up on their customs, or ask another relative (not the sister) if this would be an acceptable gift in thier culture.

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DAWNFIRE72's Photo DAWNFIRE72 SparkPoints: (66,170)
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4/10/12 10:22 P

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Okay as you all know my oldest daughter lost her best friend. She found a scarf she had been meaning to give this friend and now has plans to give it to her friend's sister. The family is First Nations (Native American) and I am wondering if there is anything in their culture that might make this a bad idea.

I am not sure if this makes any sense. I just don't want her to be hurt by the sister rejecting the gift because it was meant for someone who is now deceased.

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