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9/29/12 5:39 A

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Slow and steady is good. At present I am also on the slow train. That os ok as long as I am healthy. Are you doing weekend challenges? If so what are they?

Maggie from Auckland the City of Sails in New Zealand.

"Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, and move on." Henry Rollins.



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9/29/12 12:04 A

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Maggie - I am doing a seasonal challenge on Rock It. I am a really slow loser but I am finally making some progress.

~Nancy


"Faith is not about everything turning out OK; Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out."

"I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn't, than to live my life as if there isn't, and die to find out there is."


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9/28/12 3:28 P

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Hello Nancy and Diane - do you have any goals on living heathy for October? I am on the Biggest Loser team on Spark and I am very involved. It is doing me a lot of good.

Edited by: MAGGIEVAN at: 9/28/2012 (15:29)
Maggie from Auckland the City of Sails in New Zealand.

"Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, and move on." Henry Rollins.



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9/26/12 3:44 A

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Hello Nancy and Diane
Nancy - Yes the biggest loser group is very active but it is not just about weight loss. The focus is on that of course but heathy living is centre stage. My thyroid blood test need to repeated as I am a boderline high. I hope to get it redone this week.

Diane - I know what it is to lose a husband. I feel for you. I remarried and I am very happy now. Life is not standing still, it is good that you are willing to move on. Sometimes we move on kicking and screaming but a lot will depend on atttitude. A willingless to learn is so important and then the willingness to show love is even more important.

Have a great day ladies. It is almost October. We here in New Zealand is moving to daylight savings on Sunday. It is Spring here but it is still cold and wet. We have a winter rain season going well into Spring.

Maggie from Auckland the City of Sails in New Zealand.

"Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, and move on." Henry Rollins.



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9/25/12 8:28 A

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Hi Maggie, I have not been very active on the healthy living program. My dh passed away on June 3. While dealing with that I am also moving to a new residence on Thursday. This has helped me keep really buzy. I have also joined a bereavement group. As soon as I move, I will try to get back on track.

Hi Unicorn, sorry to hear you are having difficulties with weight loss. I also take lots of medication for my bi-polar and they also make losing weight very difficult. Keep me updated on your progress.

Take care

Dianne

Edited by: ENNAID11 at: 9/25/2012 (08:31)
HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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9/24/12 11:05 P

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I know this group is not very active - lately it has been quieter than usual. Maybe everyone is doing well and is busy in their other groups. I am involved in the Done Being The Fat Girl Team and the Rock It seasonal challenge. I have heard the BLC challenges are good, but I have a dead thyroid and even with meds, my weight loss is painfully slow. Low carb seems to help but I struggle with giving up my carbs. So BLC would not work well for me.

~Nancy


"Faith is not about everything turning out OK; Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out."

"I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn't, than to live my life as if there isn't, and die to find out there is."


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9/24/12 9:39 P

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Hello Diane and Nancy.

I am very involved with the biggest loser team it is now at round 20. Are you also on this journey of healthy living? I would like to get to know you better but I have realised that this is not a very active site. I suppose there are many reasons for it. I am not critising I am just wondering if there could be a bit more interaction?

Edited by: MAGGIEVAN at: 9/24/2012 (21:40)
Maggie from Auckland the City of Sails in New Zealand.

"Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, and move on." Henry Rollins.



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9/19/12 6:44 A

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Good morning everyone - Hopefully everyone is doing OK.

I wish you all good health

Dianne

HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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9/19/12 12:25 A

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LOL - I guess we keep using this chat thread until October and then start a new one?

I can see it has been quiet here. I guess that is a good thing. I hope everyone gets good news, great blood work and clear scans!

~Nancy


"Faith is not about everything turning out OK; Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out."

"I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn't, than to live my life as if there isn't, and die to find out there is."


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9/16/12 8:33 A

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Hi Maggie, So sorry to hear the problems with your sister. Hopefully time will help to reunite you. Great news about your blood work.

Take care

Dianne

Edited by: ENNAID11 at: 9/16/2012 (08:34)
HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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9/16/12 4:56 A

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Hello every one - I got the results from my blood works and everything is normal. I have not heard from my sister yet. Hoe are you all doing?

Maggie from Auckland the City of Sails in New Zealand.

"Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, and move on." Henry Rollins.



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9/4/12 12:56 A

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Hi Nancy and every one else - Sorry I have been missing in action but truth been told my emotions are all over the place and I know I am not good company. Every day is a bit better than the day before. The world is ticking over, irrespective of the hurt in our lives. In the mean time I have been to the doctor to make sure my blood works are ok. I am waiting on the results. I trust everything will be in order.

Have a great day and God bless you all.

Maggie from Auckland the City of Sails in New Zealand.

"Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, and move on." Henry Rollins.



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8/21/12 8:08 P

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It is so sad that the wedding was not for the bride and groom, as it should be. I pity the bride.

It must be so hard for you to be in this position. If it were me, I think I would step back and leave her alone. And I am not so sure I would even answer if she called. I'd let her talk to my answering machine! Stay strong and take care of yourself.

~Nancy


"Faith is not about everything turning out OK; Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out."

"I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn't, than to live my life as if there isn't, and die to find out there is."


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8/21/12 7:41 P

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Hello Nancy
Since my sister paid for the whole wedding the bride and groom would not oppose her in any way. The sad thing is she is not answering my emails and she has banned me from her life. No, I don't want to sound melodramatic but this is what it is. She is at times very unstable. Once at a old years eve I had people over and I did send her a text asking her: "Please call, I am at home." YOu know this is one of the messages on cell phones. Anyway, she was so angry (this I only discovered months later) that I dared to send her one of these messages and then on top of it in English. English is our second language. She did not speak to me for over 6 months. Then I called her and pretend nothing happened since she and her husband just split up and was going to divorce.

What can I say? I should be used to this abuse by now, but somehow I am not.

So in practical terms, I am now dead to my sister, until she is going to feel that she has punished me enough. What a waste of time. I need to let go, I suppose. It is however hard for me.

Edited by: MAGGIEVAN at: 8/21/2012 (19:44)
Maggie from Auckland the City of Sails in New Zealand.

"Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, and move on." Henry Rollins.



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8/20/12 8:20 P

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Maggie - I think you deserve a medal for even wanting to talk to the sister with breast cancer after the cake fiasco. With all the time and expense you went through, I think I would have hog-tied her and force fed the entire cake to her. To ban you from the wedding after all that work. Did the bride and groom agree? Just curious.

Welcome to the group. We are good listeners if you need a place to vent.

~Nancy


"Faith is not about everything turning out OK; Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out."

"I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn't, than to live my life as if there isn't, and die to find out there is."


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8/20/12 6:10 P

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Thank you for the welcome. I saw you have over 200 members but few of them are posting on the thread. They must all be very busy. It is a pity that they are not more active as I can see that this could be a great forum for sharing and caring.

Yes, I am living in Auckland, New Zealand. You will all get a good idea of my personality by visiting my Spark page.

I have three sisters. One is living in South Africa and she has been diagnosed with leukemia that has metastasized to her spine. She just finished her first course of chemotherapy and is now very Ill with pneumonia. I can't speak to her on the phone, she is too ill.

My other sister here in Auckland has been diagnosed with breast cancer that has metastasised to her lymph nodes, to her abdomen, in her spine and she has tumours behind her eyes. She just finished radiotherapy and that was very painful.

My great sadness is that she has treated me appallingly and we can't blame her illness as she has been doing this many times in the past. The whole sad saga is in my blog "...first time...wedding cake." She would never say she is sorry. I was banned from the wedding. She will now punish me by not talking to me or contact me for months. That is her usual style.

God knows, I have done nothing wrong, hurtful or insulting. She is my baby sister and I love her very much. As the oldest I am very protective of my siblings and I only wanted the best for her. I did send her the "little story" but there was nothing coming back from her, not even a "thank you."

My concern is that our time is running out and I can't force her to be civilized to me. It is just so tragic.

My other sister Diane is living in Sydney and we are very close, but she is working and we don't have much time to talk.

I have been to the cancer society and I am going for counselling on Thursday.

In the mean time, I am reading as much as I can in the hope that I can assist my sisters.

Edited by: MAGGIEVAN at: 8/20/2012 (18:11)
Maggie from Auckland the City of Sails in New Zealand.

"Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, and move on." Henry Rollins.



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8/20/12 12:18 P

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Welcome, Maggievan. It's a long way from here in Oregon to New Zealand and I'm glad you found us. This is probably the most comforting place I've found on the Internet.

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words. Been very busy since my last post. Too busy to feel much except little pangs of suddenly remembering Michael used to always sit there or throw his clothes here. My parents drove over from Portland to help take his things to the GoodWill and sort out paperwork. I think there's equal stress from my parents' impatience to help and his mother. She's a very emotional person, and "pushy." She calls a lot, asking when am I going to send his ashes, she needs a death certificate, etc., etc. And she needs emotional support more than I do. My neighbors have been WONDERFUL! One left a card at the door, two offered to give me transportation help, several of Michael's coworkers have called with offers to do anything I need. They're the greatest help. His supervisor came over, made a gazillion calls to payroll, emplyment benefits, etc. Since she's an administrator, she got right through, and got the information I would need. My folks also took me to his bank, his investment counselor, and will drive me to the lawyer for our trusts. I can't stay in the house but two more months unless I can get to his money! It's a flood of decisions to make now. It helps to know his wishes. They're my guide now, while everyone else is giving their advice. He wanted his ashes spread around Seattle. His mother is getting ashes, but she will bury Michael with her heart, not his ashes. He was abused; all of his three brothers want his wish to be honored, too. Thanks, again, for caring and putting up with my long posts. It's more healing to read comments from those of you who've gone through it and are going through it, than anyone else. Then, of course, Spark gives me a place to feel I'm moving forward. Terrel

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8/20/12 9:04 A

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Hi Maggievan, Welcome our team. We are there with you for support, listening or just for you to rant. Anything to help we will do our best.

Tell us a bit more about yourself.

Dianne

HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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8/19/12 7:25 P

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I am new to this team. Hello to you all. This is my blog for today but I want to make sure you get it as well .

A little story...

A little wave, bobbing along in the ocean, is having a grand old time. He’s enjoying the wind and the fresh air – until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore.

“My God, this is terrible,’ the wave says. ‘Look what’s going to happen to me!”

“Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him, ‘Why do you look so sad?’

The first wave says, ‘You don’t understand! We’re all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn’t it terrible?’

“The second wave says, ‘No, you don’t understand. You’re not a wave; you’re part of the ocean.’”

In my search for ways to help my sisters in their fight with cancer and to help myself in understanding, I am doing what I do best. I do research. This little story is in a wonderful book: “tuesdays with Morrie, an old man, a young man, and life’s greatest lesson” by Mitch Albom.

I trust that you can find the meaning as it applies today to your situation.



Maggie from Auckland the City of Sails in New Zealand.

"Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, and move on." Henry Rollins.



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8/16/12 10:39 A

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I wish to welcome KALDIVAR1 to our group. Though welcome seems a odd word in this case. When someone joins this group it is due to illness. Please let us know a bit more of your situation and I will be glad to support you in any way possible. Myself, I lost my dh in June of this year.

Take care, you are in my prayers.

Dianne


HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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8/14/12 9:12 A

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My condolences on the lost of your dh. I certainly know what you are going through. You are right the paper work is heavy. But once it is all done it will be a great relief. I was happy to hear that you were at his bedside when he passes. Now the mourning starts. Your emotions will be a little all over the place but let yourself feel what you need at that time.

I did not mourn at the beginning. Even though I was expecting his death when he did die I went into shock. It is just now starting to hit me.

So take care of yourself and my prayers are with you.

Dianne

HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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8/14/12 12:16 A

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Terre - I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You must be devastated, even if you knew it was coming. I am glad you guys had time to put things in order - it makes a horrible situation a little more bearable.

emoticon

~Nancy


"Faith is not about everything turning out OK; Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out."

"I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn't, than to live my life as if there isn't, and die to find out there is."


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CAROLIAN's Photo CAROLIAN SparkPoints: (0)
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8/13/12 3:10 P

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So sorry Terre
It is so sad when we lose a loved one,I remember when my dad passed years ago.All the arrangements etc.Even now 25+ my mam still gets the odd letter from construction companies offering him consultancy work I dont know why as he would have been nearly 80 and well parred retirement.
I am glad you had some quality tome together and Michael had all his affairs in order,which makes things a little easier. Just remember you are not alone
We have to learn to take each day as it comes emoticon
August is passing so quickly we have spent a lot of time running around from various hospitals drs etc with Ian we are waiting for another appointment for the removal of some lymph nodes so life is all ups and downs it is difficult to keep Ian occupied but we are managing.
He has started a healthy eating programme and is walking a lot more which makes it easier to prepare food and to go shopping now, he is eating more fruit and veg than he did before.Everything is now grilled not fried which is better for him in the long run emoticon

My name is Carol I live in UK Leader of DISABLED/FIBROMYALGIA & MORE
Northern English Lassess
Northwest England
Co Leader Fibro Friends
Fighting Fibromyalgia
FMS support


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8/13/12 2:33 P

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hi everyone,
I'm trying to keep the monthly chat topic going. I think it's an easier way to find the latest post and replies. Maybe that's just me...

Doing OK after Michael's passing July 31st His cancer metastasized into his lungs, and he lived only four days after we went to hospital with back pain (a new tumor on his spine.) I am SO grateful that we'd known since October that his cancer was untreatable. We had some good times, did all the paperwork he wanted to take care of me after his death, and I was at his bedside and in the bed in the hospital. The hospital played his favorite Beatles music the last two days and nights on his iPOD. We noticed he frowned when their harp player played (something the do for dying patients). He smiled when the Beatles started. The night before he died, we watched a Beatles movie together on the portable DVD player I'd bought him. So he had a happy last day and was in no pain.

One of the best things Michael did was to leave a spiral bound notebook with all his passwored and ID's andd the Internet addresses he used. I can check his email, bank accounts, for anything he might have ordered that won't be billed until they send it, etc.

SO MUCH TO DO AFTER YOUR PARTNER DIES!!! A whirlwind blowing me around to his bank, investment co., employer, life insurance, medical insurances, all the things he set up as automatic deductions... And then cremation arrangments, dealing with his family, travel arrangments for his memorial service. And my own life and four cats and house and yard to keep up. THIS is when you need friends. Terrel

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