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ASHAIXIM's Photo ASHAIXIM Posts: 2,616
4/10/12 10:07 P

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Thank you so much. I read about your husband... that's so sad but I know when the time comes it can be a blessing. My mother died quickly (3 days) but she had been so sick and in and out of the hospital so many time that the last time we just knew before they even said anything that it was time - and she missed my dad like crazy - in fact it was the only time she went in after he died. When my dad died he was ping ponging between hospital and hospice for like 4 or 5 months and then they took him off everything but food and morphine, gave him 24-48 hours and he died 3 weeks later ... on fathers day! LOL We were like Oh Come On! He was a stuborn old man right up to the end! LOL :)

I'm not sure how much my sister will talk to me as she's not much of one to talk about her feelings, especially in front of her 9yo but I'm trying to be there to help out except I'm in the middle of a gynie issue and I'm looking at surgery for my cervical spine (neck) and I can HOLD her 6mo but I can't pick her up or deal with her squirming. It's very awkward... so like someone else on here said, maybe between the 2 of us (and a bit of help from her 9yo) we can be 1 whole person :) She also has a 3yo who's special needs but is fortunately very high functioning... she's even got to the point where she can turn the computer on and open the drive and stick her movie in now LOL :) Sooo cute!

Anyways, thanks so much for your response and support :)

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4/9/12 9:09 A

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Hi and welcome. You are doing the right things all ready. The only other thing I would suggest is just let her know that she can talk and you will listen. Sometimes people just need to rant and rave.

My dh is in the terminal stage of his lung cancer. We are waiting for a bed in palliative care. The only things I can do is to be there, be supportive and love him.

I hope things go well with your sister.

Take care of your self as well as your sister. You won't be able to help her if you burn yourself out.

Dianne emoticon

HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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ASHAIXIM's Photo ASHAIXIM Posts: 2,616
4/7/12 7:32 P

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Hi! My sister just was diagnosed with breast cancer. Other than being available to her and helping her out with stuff is there any advice?

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4/6/12 3:11 P

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Hi - I finally got some good news. I was very impressed with the palliative care home. Only 8 other residents. Unfortunately when see told me the cost it felt like a punch in the stomach. There was no way that I could afford that much more than I was currently paying. But a wonderful friend of mine has offered to lend me the money that I need to be able to place my husband there. I am so grateful. It felt like the weight of the world had fallen off my shoulders. This home is a complete care home, bathing, laundry, med control, etc. Harry may not like it very much because he will have to share his room. But that is the best that I can do. Our family doctor is also the doctor on call for this home. So the dr. will be visiting him at the home. I won't have to pick him up and drop him of for each dr. appointment.

Now we wait for a bed. I got the impression that May 31 (last day at residence where he is now) seems to be workable for her. The is a good turnover of patiences as they are all in the finally days of their lives. I don't wish death on anyone and it feels weird that I am waiting for someone to die before I can get a bed.

I keep telling myself that it is the cycle of life and try not to feel bad it.

Dianne

HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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SWDESERTLOVER's Photo SWDESERTLOVER Posts: 3,017
4/3/12 5:58 P

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Wow, I am so sorry they can't provide more help for him. I hope the palliative care works out because that would mean he could get the meds he needs, and hopefully it would take a little of the stress off of you. I know how hard it is to feel so helpless in these situations. Thinking of you both and praying that things go well Thursday.
Cindy emoticon

Cindy
"May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing views. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds."
Edward Abbey
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4/3/12 5:40 P

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Hi, the visit to the doctor was about what I was expecting. He cannot increase meds again until he is in palliative care because he will need constant nursing care. I called the palliative care home and I have an appointment on Thursday to visit. I hope this place is affordable. I am pretty much at the max that I can afford. The average stay there is about 3 months but some survive longer periods. All other items are side effects from the meds. DH doesn't seem to understand that his cancer is getting worse. He always seems surprised by what the dr says. I have to re-explain several times before he comprehends what I am saying. The weirdest part of all this is that he still looks really healthy. I find that makes it harder to realize that he is really sick.

I'll let you know how the visit to palliative care home goes.

Thanks for you support.

Dianne

HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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SWDESERTLOVER's Photo SWDESERTLOVER Posts: 3,017
4/3/12 9:40 A

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I'll be thinking about him today and hoping his appointment goes well.
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Cindy
"May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing views. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds."
Edward Abbey
www.flickr.com/photos/cindymccrary/s
ets/


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4/3/12 8:57 A

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Great news! And you are right any good news is to be cherished. I am praying for you both.

My dh has a dr. appointment today, I'll let you know the results.

Have a great day

Dianne

HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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SWDESERTLOVER's Photo SWDESERTLOVER Posts: 3,017
4/2/12 10:33 P

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Tommy's scan results were good - YIPPEE! They said the nodules in his lungs have shrunk by about 30% from his last scan. Of course, we wish they were non-existent, but at this point, we'll take any good news we can get.
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Cindy
"May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing views. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds."
Edward Abbey
www.flickr.com/photos/cindymccrary/s
ets/


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4/2/12 2:09 P

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Hi, what wonderful news - hope everything remains good. How old is your son?

Take care

Dianne



HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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JIBBIE49's Photo JIBBIE49 Posts: 76,020
4/2/12 1:49 P

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My son, Nathan, had his 3 year check up last month and he was "clean", so we are thrilled. He had testicular cancer with three different kinds of cancer cells & one was an aggressive kind, so we are VERY happy, but then he will have to still be followed for up to 10 years.

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4/2/12 7:19 A

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Keeping my fingers crossed for good result on the scan.

Chat with you soon.

Dianne

HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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SWDESERTLOVER's Photo SWDESERTLOVER Posts: 3,017
4/1/12 9:05 P

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I'm glad the meds are helping him some. I hope his doctor appointment goes well on Tuesday, and thanks for keeping us posted.

Tommy had a scan Friday and we get the results tomorrow. I'm very worried because of his increasing cough and weight loss. I'll let you know how that goes also.

Cindy

Cindy
"May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing views. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds."
Edward Abbey
www.flickr.com/photos/cindymccrary/s
ets/


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4/1/12 9:31 A

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Happy April's fool's Day. Hopefully there are not too many April showers. Increase in meds for dh seem to be helping a little. Dr.' s appointment on Tuesday. Will keep you updated.

Dianne

HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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