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1/17/10 1:34 P

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I am so sorry to hear of your Aunt's passing. My mom passed away 7 weeks ago. The only thing that has gotten me through this is that I know that she is no longer in any pain nor is she suffering. My wish for you is that you can find the peace to go on.

Hugs and prayers,
Teresa



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56ROSE's Photo 56ROSE Posts: 15,192
1/12/10 2:11 P

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emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Thinking of you.... Take Care...

Marilyn
Boise, ID
Mountain Time Zone

Everything you've ever wanted is one step out of your comfort zone.

The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison. Ann Wigmore

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Purpose is the place where your deep gladness meets the world's needs.
Frederick Bue


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ARTMISTRESS78's Photo ARTMISTRESS78 Posts: 2,149
1/12/10 1:51 P

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well, it happened...it's over. my aunt passed away this morning. they just came and took her body away. we're all in shock. her death was not an easy one, very difficult for her and very emotional for us. thanks for all your kind words and support.

I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine. sarashawger.com


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ARTIE322's Photo ARTIE322 Posts: 725
1/9/10 4:21 P

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This has been such a difficult time for you. May you, your aunt and your family find peace soon.

Take one day at a time, keep putting one foot in front of the other. Don't look back except to see how far you have come. Take comfort in the expressions of caring from loved ones and strangers alike. Most importantly, believe in yourself. You have the strength to withstand any storm.



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THEQUEENBEE333's Photo THEQUEENBEE333 Posts: 1,689
1/7/10 2:49 P

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I know - our family member who died fought for so long and it didnt seem real when it happened. Hang in there and take care of you.

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56ROSE's Photo 56ROSE Posts: 15,192
1/7/10 1:03 P

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I'm glad you have family with you now...

I was with my sister just days before she died. Saying good-bye to her was one of the hardest things I've ever done. My thoughts are with you.....

Marilyn
Boise, ID
Mountain Time Zone

Everything you've ever wanted is one step out of your comfort zone.

The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison. Ann Wigmore

Max Lifetime Weight: 215
SP Start Weight: 199
Maintaining since: April 2016
Initial Goal Weight: 178
Current Goal Weight: 170

Purpose is the place where your deep gladness meets the world's needs.
Frederick Bue


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ARTMISTRESS78's Photo ARTMISTRESS78 Posts: 2,149
1/7/10 12:53 P

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well, a lot has happened since those few days of hell. looks like the doctors overdosed her on morphine and dilaudid. it took her several days to come down from it. there was so much in her system that we didn't even have to give her any drugs for three days. it was a horrible time and i got no sleep. i hired a friend of my aunt's to come live with us for awhile to see how things would go because i couldn't do it on my own. my aunt was getting better and better everyday. she had a nice christmas and a good weekend after that.

we met with her doctor where she was able to finally tell her that she wanted to stop treatment. she couldn't do it before because she was so out of it, and the doctors wouldn't take my word for it. her doc got really emotional and was crying. she's a pretty cool doc, even went out to lunch with us after. my only issue is that they didn't want to let go even though it was obvious that my aunt did...or needed to at this point.

a couple of days after that, my aunt started getting extremely fatigued and more and more disoriented...and this time it wasn't because of the drugs. the brain tumors were growing and the pain from her liver tumors was getting worse. finally this weekend i called hospice when she became bed bound. my mom flew in monday and my other aunt arrives today. hospice has been really helpful. we've had a nurse in every day. they are helping with changing the diapers and bathing her. we finally have the medication under control. my aunt gets very agitated and is still somewhat aware. it's amazing that she can have such clear moments and be present and then she lapses into a memory from thirty years ago. she's slurring her speech and the left side of her body is losing function. her skin is turning yellow and her extremities are very cold. the doc said it should only be a few days.

so that's where i'm at now. i'm much calmer with more family and help around. i finally had an emotional breakdown on monday. it took me awhile to pull out of it, but the hour drive to pick my mom up at the airport really helped. i like to drive to sort things out in my head...it calms me. i'm back at work now that my mom and hospice are here, but i'm prepared for a phone call at any time. it's so weird...to just sit and wait...and want it to happen. i know it will be a relief, but i know it will also be a shock that it finally happened after all this time. she fought it for 20 months, but she's done fighting. i hope she feels at peace at this point. she's told us that she's ready to go.

I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine. sarashawger.com


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THEQUEENBEE333's Photo THEQUEENBEE333 Posts: 1,689
12/17/09 3:37 P

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Hang in there. Its hard. We had a family member who died of breast cancer in October. She was 28. Third round of cancer got her. She would get better, then worse, etc. Her cancer stopped responding at some point and just took over. I still dont feel like she is gone, its like she is on vacation and will be back. Her mother is a wreck, as I am sure I would be. The family Christmas Sat is going to be weird w/her missing. And her husband, I dont think he is coming any more since they were only married a few years and I dont think he feels like the family is "his" anymore. So who knows. I know its hard. Hospice here helps whenever someone is diagnosed by the Drs as terminal. Her Drs mentioned hospice MONTHS before she really really declined. They helped in so many ways. Those people are wonderful. Stay strong and dont forget to take care of you! You have to stay healthy to be there for others, so dont get run down.

My aunt died from lung cancer at 32, when I was 14, so years ago, but back then, they stayed mostly in the hospital. She was in there for months and months until she couldnt fight it any longer. It can take some time, and it can get bad, and then they have a "better" spell or period, but then go back to the worst. Its hard.... I will be thinking of you!

B

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ARTMISTRESS78's Photo ARTMISTRESS78 Posts: 2,149
12/16/09 11:14 P

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this is total and complete hell....my aunt has completely lost it. she's delusional and manic and i don't know what to do. the doctors have not seen her like this, so they are refusing to order hospice. i hired a caregiver to watch her today while i was at work. between bouts of larthargy and sleep she would tear through the house threatening to call the police if the caretaker didn't get out. her and a neighbor managed to calm my aunt down, but now they're gone. i'm so tired...i just want to sleep...but i can't.

i am sick to my stomach and i don't know what to do. this is just horrible. if i can't just make it through the night, i'll have some help tomorrow...

I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine. sarashawger.com


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JIBBIE49's Photo JIBBIE49 Posts: 76,439
12/16/09 12:10 P

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I'm sorry about your Aunt. My son, Nathan has had good reports since his cat scans in August and his chest xray in November and his blood test have been clear. We hope his Tesicular Cancer will be put to rest, but the doctor tells us he will need 10 years of follow up.
He did get on the "wait" list for admissions to Medical School at the U. of Florida, so we hope he starts in the Fall.

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BRENDA635 Posts: 4
12/12/09 11:50 P

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Definitely Hospice. They were such a big help for us.
My prayers are with you.

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INKEDSHUTTERBUG SparkPoints: (0)
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12/12/09 5:53 P

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So much on your shoulders, I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Sounds like home care is a good way to go.

I was a home care worker for just over four years, if you find yourself with any questions, feel free to drop me a line maybe I can be of some help.

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56ROSE's Photo 56ROSE Posts: 15,192
12/12/09 5:02 P

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emoticon Yes, you will need home care for her. I think this is best for both of you. Also, Hospice can be helpful for you and your loved ones. Take Care. emoticon

Marilyn
Boise, ID
Mountain Time Zone

Everything you've ever wanted is one step out of your comfort zone.

The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison. Ann Wigmore

Max Lifetime Weight: 215
SP Start Weight: 199
Maintaining since: April 2016
Initial Goal Weight: 178
Current Goal Weight: 170

Purpose is the place where your deep gladness meets the world's needs.
Frederick Bue


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HEILAS's Photo HEILAS SparkPoints: (0)
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12/12/09 3:00 P

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I am so sorry to hear that your Aunt has taken a bad turn.

Pray and stay positive, never give up.

I pray the blood of Jesus over your Aunt. Praying for a mighty outpouring of healing upon her body.

God Bless You.

Heila emoticon

My God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:19

The Lord sustains the fatherless and the widow. Psalm 146:9

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.


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ARTMISTRESS78's Photo ARTMISTRESS78 Posts: 2,149
12/12/09 2:01 P

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well, i won't get into major detail here because i just wrote two lengthy blog entries about all of this. i moved out to NM to be with my aunt as she battled stage 4 breast cancer. it's been 20 months of up and down (mostly down). she had been doing pretty well until the cancer figured out how to avoid the chemo. we've been trying different things but she's going downhill fast.

so strange, after so long to be happening so quickly. they found uptake on her liver and two new brain lesions. the liver is now swollen and causing a lot of pain. she has fluid in her abdomen and one of her legs has lymphadema. they've got her on dilaudin at the hospital and are keeping her there for awhile. i've got to work on getting home care. she needs someone there 24/7. i've got to work and i'm not knowledgable about taking care of someone in that way. for the last year and a half i've been the one who takes out the trash, makes dinner, feeds the kitties, scoops the litter, etc...that's what i know how to do and how i can help. we're beyond me now.

oops, said i wouldn't write too much! ah well. i don't know how long she has. we meet with the doc again on monday to go over options. i'll know more then.

hugs to everyone who has gone through this before or is going along right with me...so surreal.

I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine. sarashawger.com


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