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CAROLE914 Posts: 7,364
11/4/12 2:08 P

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Thank you all for your kind words.

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11/4/12 7:03 A

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I'm SO sorry for your loss and I'm sorry it's taken so long to respond.



I have seen women looking at jewelry ads with a misty eye and one hand resting on the heart, and I only know what they're feeling because that's how I read the seed catalogs in January.

Barbara Kingsolver - Animal, Vegetable, Miracle


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YOGAKARMAGRACE's Photo YOGAKARMAGRACE Posts: 1,273
10/1/12 1:53 P

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I just posted a picture of my sweet mom. I went to San Antonio to be with her for her 4 month blood pressure check. My dear mother, she is dwindling slowly but surely but she keeps on truckin with her gardening and the things that make her happy. I try so hard to convince that I could make her life so comfortable and her not have to worry about anything but she fights me tooth and nail. I hate the way she is living and I have to depend on my sister-in-law who is busy too, to help me. I live in Dallas and it's hard for me to know every single move my mom makes. She claims she can handle her self but I worry daily. I just pray that God will watch over her until one day she decides she can't do it anymore and lets me take over. I am ready for this. I love my mom!!!

Grace aka YogaKarmaGrace

Follow me on Instagram: @yogakarmagrace

Just Be Yourself.
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CAROLE914 Posts: 7,364
9/20/12 4:39 P

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thank you.

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DMILLER33's Photo DMILLER33 Posts: 8,643
9/20/12 4:34 P

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I am so sorry about your mom. I know it has been a long haul for you. I will keep ypu in my thoughts and prayers.

Doris
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CAROLE914 Posts: 7,364
9/20/12 4:08 P

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I am sorry to say this is last post, my Mother passed away this month.

Edited by: CAROLE914 at: 11/4/2012 (16:03)
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DMILLER33's Photo DMILLER33 Posts: 8,643
9/20/12 11:37 A

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Still dealing with both my parents having different types of dementia. Bothh slowly going downhill but at home. Still cry when I see old pictures of them and remember how they were before it all happened. I finally have some help- someone comes in once a week to clean their house and mine. Also during week someone comes in the morning. What a difference for me. Trying to survive. Almost 2 years.

Doris
Northeast Ohio
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ELIZABETHHELEN1's Photo ELIZABETHHELEN1 Posts: 26
8/13/12 1:11 P

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I have had a really hard time with making myself eat ever since I placed my DH. Although I have always loved to cook I simply can't be bothered with it. If I do, I make enough for a couple or three meals as I don't mind leftovers. However I ususally end up throwing them out. I joined Sparks to try to make sure I was getting the nutrients I need. I have a dear little dog that gives me a huge amount of comfort, don't know what I would do without him. DH lost the ability to talk years ago, I don't even remember when we last had a real conversation. Sure miss that! However a lot can be comminicated with the eyes, and hands. One simply has to make do with what is left as this terrible disease slowly distroys the one we love. Hugs to each of you making the Alzheimer's Journey with our spouse.

Think you can or think your can't - either way you will be right!


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CAROLE914 Posts: 7,364
7/15/12 4:15 P

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Thank you Suejenn for your post.

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SUEJENN's Photo SUEJENN Posts: 862
7/15/12 3:39 P

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I can feel your sadness as I read your post. We all do the best we can as we navigate unfamiliar pathways with our parents. You sound like you are providing everything you can to assist your mom through this time. Take care of yourself ,too. All you can do is be there for her. I wish you well on this journey.

suejenn
Ontario Canada


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CAROLE914 Posts: 7,364
7/15/12 11:58 A

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Hello Everyone,

My mom has had Alzheimer's for about nine years.
She had to go into a nursing home in May, before she was in assistant living.
In June she was in the hospital for a week,Uti, acute renal failure pneumonia and a few other things.

Last week she went into Hospice. I feel like I am on a rollercoaster. The sadness is overwhelming at times.
I just want to do what is best for my mom.

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SLIMCRUISER Posts: 1,047
7/10/12 11:04 A

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Hello everyone, I have been AWOL for a little while. FINALLY got the court situation settled. (my sister had applied for guardianship of my mother,proceeded to steal her SS checks, and never came to see her. After all was said and done, in May I was appointed guardian with a lawyer as co-guardian. The lawyer is conservator.) This would all be fine...if I could get the lawyer to actually meet us...or even talk to me. Ahhh well.....
My mother and I have just been going along as usual...I am the sole care giver. My kids and brother help some, but my mom gets stressed when I am not here. She did give us a scare last week. She seemed to be having a seizure (never had one before.) After 4 days and many many tests they found no reason for the spell. She was pretty confused by the second day in, so I brought her favorite sweater that she wears nearly every day, and her own tea mug. She held on for another day til we got home.(Nurses were very impressed with the difference in her once she had some familiar things.......why don't they know that and suggest it??) It took her a couple of days at home, but she is pretty much back to (her) normal. Now, every time she sighs or or moans I am on her.....she's even getting annoyed. Of course she doesn't remember being in the hospital. So we plug along getting in as many interesting activities and trips to the beach as we can. Ahhhh well........
Patty


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7/2/12 12:24 P

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I've just been in a funk - new meds are kicking my butt.

Mom is doing well in assisted living - she's in great shape physically but had a major slide a couple months ago. She can't complete a sentence, having trouble with even basic commands and can't sign her name. She can still read words, but sometimes starts at the bottom or the middle of a page.

I love this "kinder/gentler" mom (she was always SO critical) - we sit in the "garden" room, listen to oldies and "cuddle" on the glider. I know it won't last forever, but I'm building memories where I can.



I have seen women looking at jewelry ads with a misty eye and one hand resting on the heart, and I only know what they're feeling because that's how I read the seed catalogs in January.

Barbara Kingsolver - Animal, Vegetable, Miracle


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KATHIERAE's Photo KATHIERAE Posts: 1,030
6/23/12 10:29 A

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Yes, thanks for the reminders--both about the water AND about the fact we have to advocate for our loved ones (and others!) after they are placed in a care facility.

So important to remember, that our loved one is still best known by us and WE are still responsible for their care. And that whoever runs the care facility works for the person placed, not the other way around!!!!! I know the nursing home here in my hometown (we are in a rural area and it is the only choice unless we want to travel hundreds of miles to visit our loved one) has a bad record for dehydration issues too. For sure something to watch for when we go visit...

Kathie R Waters
Proverbs 3:5-9 (MSG)
Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.
Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
your very bones will vibrate with life! www.kathierwaters.com


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NEELOJ's Photo NEELOJ Posts: 8,733
6/21/12 8:01 P

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Yes, thanks for the warning.
My husband's Care Home is doing well with the liquid right now I believe.
Each room has a pitcher of water and everyone gets at least three glasses of different liquids at each meal.
They also bring drinks and a snack around between each meal. That makes three more times.


Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Please visit my Flickr Page for my photographs.
flickr.com/photos/neelojtsl/
I also have a Blog on Blogspot for my Short Stories.
joreflections.blogspot.com/


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SUEJENN's Photo SUEJENN Posts: 862
6/21/12 7:31 P

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The support group I go to also remind us that we are the advocate after our loved one is placed. The journeyisn't over just because we are not the primary caregivers. Thanks for the reminder.

suejenn
Ontario Canada


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BONONSENSE Posts: 553
6/18/12 11:13 P

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Well, I haven't been on this site for a long time because my Mother-in-law's health declined so swiftly and severely that she passed away a week ago. We still have relatives living with us and so many thank you notes to write. My head is spinning. Ironically, through it all I managed to stay on course with my diet and even got some walking in.

WARNING TO ALL: Drink water and get assertive with all caregivers who are responsible for making sure that your loved one is given an adequate amount of water either at home, in a nursing home, or in the hospital. My Mother-in-law died from kidney failure as a result of de-hydration. Every time I visited her at the nursing home (where I had worked for 20 years) she would ask me to get her a drink of water, and then proceed to drink 2 or more glasses. The other residents would also ask for a drink, just guzzling every last drop. When I addressed this with the charge nurse, director of nursing, dietary manager, and administrator, they reminded me that I am not a nurse and shouldn't be interfering with their jobs.

It's too late for my 95 year-old Mother-in-law, who had verbalized feelings of unhappiness about living so long. However, this is direct evidence of elderly abuse and neglect. My Mother-in-law was on a locked unit for residents with dimentia and alzheimers' disease. The majority of residents in her unit were not capable of meeting their own needs, including asking for a drink. The staff should be trained to assess their needs by observing their behavior.

We are in the midst of trying to figure out how to make nursing homes more accountable for keeping residents adequately hydrated, thus decreasing the number of urinary tract infections and episodes of renal failure.

You are your loved one's best advocate, and it is vital that you are aware of this problem in nursing homes especially. My prayers are with all of you.

SUEJENN's Photo SUEJENN Posts: 862
6/14/12 10:43 P

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Yes I can see what you mean about the disease being stable for awhile. I was lulled into a false sense of security as I had a system in place that was working for me and Dad. When he was admitted to hospital about a month ago I soon discovered that I didn't have the energy stores that I thought I did. Seeing the decline in him in three short days opened my eyes to the unpredictability of this disease coupled with the fact that he is almost 90 years old. It is a must that I take care of myself, too. I was overwhelmed with guilt the day that my brother and I signed the papers for an application for long term care. I cannot imagine how you feel. This disease keeps you in limbo living in a kind of stasis waiting for resolution. Some days I feel as if I am filling time with my stuff as I wait for what Dad will need next. I know it is a mindset. I am trying to see that going to the gym etc. is for me. The other life I live as caregiver and advocate is predominant making my own life seem like a shadow. It is a difficult balancing act.
I don't know about you but sharing our stories provides a great deal of comfort for me.


suejenn
Ontario Canada


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NEELOJ's Photo NEELOJ Posts: 8,733
6/14/12 1:09 P

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Well, you made me stop and think. Why don't I get on here to chat more often?
I think it is mainly because I am tired. Not physically but mentally.

Things are at a stand still right now, which is good really. My DH's physical health has stabilized and doing pretty well really.
His dementia is bad some days, not so bad other days, and always frustrating to me.
The tired part is that it is just the same story over and over and over again.
Somedays I wonder how much longer I can stand it to go see my DH in this condition. But when I decide to stay home one day then I feel so guilty all day!!
I feel like I am living on the edge of reality!!

I am trying to stay positive but it is really hard sometimes.
I don't mind being alone, but I hate trying to "live" alone. Does that makes sense?
I don't like cooking just for me, I don't enjoy sitting in the backyard as much, I don't like having to make decisions without DH to talk it over with, I don't have DH to talk about the things I see or do, etc............

Okay.... now you got me started!!
I guess maybe we just need to ask each other questions!!! LOL



Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Please visit my Flickr Page for my photographs.
flickr.com/photos/neelojtsl/
I also have a Blog on Blogspot for my Short Stories.
joreflections.blogspot.com/


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JRAUTIO's Photo JRAUTIO Posts: 1,704
6/14/12 11:02 A

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I would like to see more activity here, too! I try to post from time to time & respond to other posts. Even though this is a SP group, the focus has always been on the Alz's issues rather than weight loss -- I think because the disease makes such an impact on our lives that everything else pales in comparison! I do think that part of the communication issue is that we are so busy & stressed in dealing with our loved ones...

I appreciate any input from team members and really value the support people have given. Hope to hear more from other members!

--Julie

~~Julie~~


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SIMPLELIFE4REAL's Photo SIMPLELIFE4REAL Posts: 9,709
6/13/12 10:01 P

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Since my dad passed away last fall, I don't tend to initiate new posts like I used to. I'm here more to support others now. This team was VERY helpful to me over the years that I was actively caring for my dad on a daily basis. I don't know why this team has gotten quiet. It really is a great resource for support and suggestions.

Caring for someone with dementia can be very tough....it's also working with a moving target as the disease worsens. This team can be a huge source of support for people in the midst of giving that care or making decisions on how to have the care provided.

Kay from Tennessee



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SUEJENN's Photo SUEJENN Posts: 862
6/13/12 7:22 P

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I have been looking through the lists of member for some of the teams I belong to. It is amazing how many people no longer participate on SP. I guess we all join teams for different reasons but the big plus is the feedback and support. So why is it many people on this team do not join in any more? I often come here looking for people who have gone through or are going through the same experiences that my family is going through. Sometimes I am looking for information that I don't have when I am trying to decide what to do. The weight loss and exercise problems don't seem as important as working with my dad at this point. It is gratifying to find that I am not alone.
So why do you think that we are not working together as a team to support each other?

suejenn
Ontario Canada


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