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SUEJENN's Photo SUEJENN Posts: 862
6/7/12 9:13 P

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I discovered kick boxing. Mt rainer brought me a pair of bright pink boxing gloves to a party I was having to celebrate the end of chemo. After one lesson I was hooked. I now take a class once a week and box every other week with my trainer. In the summer I add kayaking. Tonight I managed 3 sprints! For first time out this year I was staisfied with that and a beautiful evening too. I get exhausted but it leaves me feeling less stressed as well.



suejenn
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JRAUTIO's Photo JRAUTIO Posts: 1,704
5/11/12 1:30 P

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I feel like I'm not on here often enough, but I just want to say how much I appreciate that everyone is able to come here and share -- both the good and the bad. I look forward to the posts from others; I think it's just reassuring to know that we aren't all alone in these struggles! I've had a tough week with my mom -- will try to post a blog shortly. Hope you all have a calm and safe weekend. Happy mother's day!

~~Julie~~


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BELSNICKEL's Photo BELSNICKEL Posts: 2,792
5/10/12 7:14 A

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thanks for a your posts. i am just learning to dea withthe stress of being a care giver, allthough I now realize my SW has had Alzheimer's ffor year ony recenty I began seeing her problems as related, one great stress reliever is simply caling it by its proper name. Still it feels like she has the disease, but i have the problem. one big help is your posts, somehow readfing gives me the knowledge that its not just me.

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JRAUTIO's Photo JRAUTIO Posts: 1,704
4/17/12 8:13 A

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KSROMAN -- Hang in there! You can only do so much and help in so many ways, and then it's out of your hands. We do what we can to be supportive when and where we can but, unfortunately, there are limits! I am laughing about your note because I feel far from an inspiration -- more like a walking disaster zone! LOL!

You are right, NAN and JO! It's best not to dwell on things you have no control over and do what you can do. My mantra lately has been "It is what it is!" You suck it up and deal with what you have to deal with!

I have to admit that I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed the last few days, though. I think sometimes I have to just accept the grief and sadness in order to acknowledge it, but I know I will push thru this. Thanks for sharing, everyone!

~~Julie~~


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BONONSENSE Posts: 553
4/16/12 11:33 P

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I guess the previous post hit home with me. Life is tough! We can dwell on the tough elements of it and sink deeper into a "feeling sorry for ourselves" hole or we can lift ourselves up to smell flowers, ride horses, go shopping, read books or whatever alleviates the stress. As difficut as it is to care for parents who have alzheimers, I cannot imagine the anguish of watching a spouse fade away. Amazingly, we are resilient creatures and life continues. We have memories to keep us happy and the ability to create new memories to provide us hope.

NEELOJ's Photo NEELOJ Posts: 8,733
4/16/12 12:40 P

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All I can say after the last two posts is GOLLY!!!
I am so sorry that everyone has so many problems and "stress"!!
The only consolation I know to say is that it has helped me to not feel so sorry for myself!!

It is so wonderful to be able to share on this site to get inspiration from each other. Somehow we can get through all of this! Just keep sharing, that is such a great help!!
JO


Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Please visit my Flickr Page for my photographs.
flickr.com/photos/neelojtsl/
I also have a Blog on Blogspot for my Short Stories.
joreflections.blogspot.com/


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KSROMAN's Photo KSROMAN SparkPoints: (0)
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4/16/12 9:08 A

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WOW! You are in inspiration.

My family has been hit HARD this last year. My father-in-law is just now able to use a walker more than a wheel chair after a botched operation (he was perfectly healthy & working before it). Speaking of stress on a caregiver - a couple weeks ago my mother-in-law thought she was having a bit of problem with her asthma. Now she found out she's eligible to be placed on the heart transplant list!

Last June my already disabled sister-in-law had a stroke and is still paralyzed on the left side. She's currently in the hospital with MRSA, another infection, her blood pressure and blood count are very low. At least my brother has been able to turn over her day-to-day care to the hospital staff - if only for a few days.

And their daughter (in another state) is having major bipolar issues and has been hospitalized twice after having a baby.

As you may know my mom fell in assisted living in November and had to have a hip replacement. Yesterday the phone rang and it was the AL facility and of course my first thought is, "Oh no, what's happened now?" LOL - They were confirming her hair appointment.

I've also been helping a good friend whose teenage son tried to commit suicide. Before this happened the first psych hosp. told my friend her son was faking it and wasn't suicidal. The second hosp. is taking it more seriously.

I have seen women looking at jewelry ads with a misty eye and one hand resting on the heart, and I only know what they're feeling because that's how I read the seed catalogs in January.

Barbara Kingsolver - Animal, Vegetable, Miracle


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JRAUTIO's Photo JRAUTIO Posts: 1,704
4/16/12 7:47 A

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I'm not sure I've found the stress relief! Actually, I know what it is, but GETTING to the stress relief is another issue. I'm working 3 jobs, my youngest son is getting married in the fall, my husband and oldest son are at odds, not doing so great on the hubby relationship myself, I need to find a new job full-time job since this one's going backwards in pay and benefits, and then there's mom. Two days at the hospital last week from a fall and another call about a fall yesterday (thankfully no additional issues). Thankfully she's at a memory facility now so the day-to-day care isn't as demanding, but I don't think the emotional stress has lessened. And darn it... I MISS her. She wasn't just my mom, but also my best friend who I could call to do anything with. She was my biggest supporter and always game for an adventure.

Okay... enough of the whining! My stress relief is either gardening or -- best of all! -- my horses! :) Of course, one of the horses is Mom's, so that kind of works into the whole guilt and stress piece of the puzzle. Ugh! And I'm having problems with both of those stress relievers since I'm having physical issues -- a torn rotator cuff and constant pain. Hey, wait... I said I was going to quit whining...! :) Thanks for sharing, everyone. Have a great day!

~~Julie~~


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NEELOJ's Photo NEELOJ Posts: 8,733
4/14/12 1:12 P

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My stress relief for short periods is flowers.
I just have to get out and take walks in places where there are flowers!
I love looking at them, smelling them, and taking pictures of them!!
And yes, working in my flower beds.

I remember an especially hard time when DH was in the hospital last summer and every window I looked out of all I saw was roof tops. I was crying and my sister was trying to comfort me. All I could say to her was "that I need a flower garden to walk through"!!
We laugh about that now but that is just how I felt!

Times are still very hard but with DH in the Care Home it has taken a lot of stress off, but of course, not all of it.
But I do have really great news!! I am going next week to take a week and go visit my sister for four days and then stop and see my son for a couple of days. (They live four and two hours away.)
I have not been gone for over night for two years!!
My sister and I plan to take a lot of nature walks!! LOL


Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Please visit my Flickr Page for my photographs.
flickr.com/photos/neelojtsl/
I also have a Blog on Blogspot for my Short Stories.
joreflections.blogspot.com/


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4/14/12 8:19 A

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It IS stressful! I'm "fortunate" in that mom's day-to-day care is now on the assisted living staff, but I was still up at 3 AM worrying how we will come up with $2000 extra/month in about 2 years when her savings runs out.

Then this week it dawned on me that I needed to do HER taxes!

Add that I just started a new business about 7 months before I became her caretaker. It's funny you mentioned gardening because that is what my business is - I teach small-space, high-intensity, low-maintenance gardening. I'm working with her OT to put in a table top garden at the facility that can be used for those with mobility problems or who are confined to a wheel chair. This will be MARVELOUS "therapy" for your husband in dealing with stress.

When dealing with phone calls & paperwork I tried two methods - take on each task as it came in or save it and devote two blocks of time each week specifically for that. While I was working on her veteran's benefits, it needed to be done daily, but now the twice weekly method works best for me.

When my brother was her caretaker he said that MY doing research and some of the legwork long distance really helped him (he's in FL & I'm in MD). Are there any other siblings who can help is SOME way?

Support groups may seem like a waste of time, but they can be a way to network and find programs that will help in the long run.



I have seen women looking at jewelry ads with a misty eye and one hand resting on the heart, and I only know what they're feeling because that's how I read the seed catalogs in January.

Barbara Kingsolver - Animal, Vegetable, Miracle


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DMILLER33's Photo DMILLER33 Posts: 8,507
4/14/12 7:17 A

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Yes it is overwhelming. The only time I truly felt de-stressed in the last year is when we went to Washington DC last summer for 2 weeks. My brother took care of them and I couldn't do paperwork because not with me. I didn't realize how stressed I felt until we were gone for about three days when I felt myself start to relax. Of course I still got a lot of phone calls from them. Not easy and I am never caught up.

Doris
Northeast Ohio
Eastern Standard time
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BONONSENSE Posts: 553
4/13/12 11:51 P

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The stress of caring for a family member who has alzheimers is often overwhelming. During the years I worked on an alzheimers' unit it always saddened me to watch the family caregivers become mentally and physically drained or even die. Now I am witnessing my own Husband's health deteriorate as he struggles to deal with his Mother slowly fading away. Meanwhile, he has to manage, not only her medical needs, but also the financial plans established by her and her husband years ago. Not a day goes by that he isn't on the phone or buried in paperwork. At least the warmer weather has allowed him to be outside and start preparing the garden.



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