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JRAUTIO's Photo JRAUTIO Posts: 1,704
2/17/12 8:42 A

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I know what you are saying, MAYBER. But this has been a lesson for me. I am going to do everything in my power to keep my kids from having to deal with the stuff we've had to go thru with my mom. I know the older you are, the more expensive the LTC insurance is. It could be all hype, but the people I know who are using it now for their parents are in a lot better shape than those without. We didn't have it for my mom. Luckily, her retirement income is better than my full-time employment income!

~~Julie~~


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MAYBER's Photo MAYBER SparkPoints: (0)
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2/16/12 6:54 P

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A few years before we were to retire we looked into Long Term Insurance and the agent looked at our financial situation and said we could not afford it sometimes think it is hype that we think we all need it of course do not know others situations
Luckily I am in reasonable good health and will care for my DH until someone says I can no longer do it right now do not forsee that in the near future
Why worry about the future live today and do what you can today for those you care for
One day at a time

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JRAUTIO's Photo JRAUTIO Posts: 1,704
2/13/12 8:01 A

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I agree! We have to hope for some progress in this research while there's still hope for the upcoming generations!

~~Julie~~


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PETUNIAPIG's Photo PETUNIAPIG Posts: 428
2/10/12 9:32 A

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After going through all the financial burdens with my Dad I will definitely get Long Term insurance... I don't want to be a burden to anyone. I'm still in my 30s now but with Alzhemier's running on both sides of my family I'm pretty scared. Hopefully science will pick up and find some sort of treatment!!

"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." -- Joseph Addison


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JRAUTIO's Photo JRAUTIO Posts: 1,704
2/7/12 12:00 P

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I know! Although for 40 years, my mom always told us she wouldn't be a burden to us kids. Her exact words? "Put me in a home!" Unfortunately, at some point she lost her ability to rationalize and recognize what was going on. We all knew she had good intentions, though!

~~Julie~~


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NEELOJ's Photo NEELOJ Posts: 8,733
2/7/12 11:28 A

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You are right, this is something we should do.
Get in writting what we would like for our family to do if something happens to us.
I always think I have plenty of time to worry about doing that, I am 67, but we just never know.
And we can always up date our instructions every few years if we feel different as time goes on.
I know my mother told us for years that she "did not" want to live with any of us kids. She wanted to go into a care home. That made it so much easier for us!!!

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Please visit my Flickr Page for my photographs.
flickr.com/photos/neelojtsl/
I also have a Blog on Blogspot for my Short Stories.
joreflections.blogspot.com/


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JRAUTIO's Photo JRAUTIO Posts: 1,704
2/7/12 7:43 A

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I've always had about the worst memory of anyone I know, so I have been worrying about dementia for myself for a long time. My financial advisor says 60 is the magic age that everyone should have LTC insurance. Of course if I had more money, I'd get it now at 52! On a side note, at my last annual physical, they found my B-12 level was low and I do feel like I'm a bit "sharper" since adding that vitamin in.

I think helping our failing parent makes us much more aware and, for me anyway, more determined that I am not going to put my kids through any more of this than necessary. I want to have my own plan in place so they will know what to do instead of leaving them wondering what I would or wouldn't have wanted. Not to mention... I have a feeling that my boys will be far less tolerant of any "antics" I would pull than we have been with my mom!

We have watched another family member struggle physically and mentally after a heart attack and being too long without oxygen. She is at about the level of a 2-year-old and has declined to the point of not even functioning on her own. Meanwhile, her husband is losing everything and determined he will take care of her on his own by himself at home. Her heart has stopped numerous times, yet the husband insists on making sure her pacemaker is going strong. And yet the physical and mental strain is killing him. It's been a lesson -- the last time we saw them, I forbade my husband to give up his life and do that same thing to me! I've told him in no uncertain terms that he would need to "put me in a home" and have a life of his own in those circumstances!

~~Julie~~


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NEELOJ's Photo NEELOJ Posts: 8,733
2/6/12 7:14 P

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My father had Alzheimer. And many times my sister and I will talk about forgetting things and wonder if we will get it too!!

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Please visit my Flickr Page for my photographs.
flickr.com/photos/neelojtsl/
I also have a Blog on Blogspot for my Short Stories.
joreflections.blogspot.com/


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KSROMAN's Photo KSROMAN SparkPoints: (0)
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2/6/12 4:21 P

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This is NOT meant to scare anyone or cause undue distress, but I'm really curious. I'm working on my Master's in Christian Counseling, so while I'm taking a bit of a hiatus, I've been told that this is the perfect time to do some deeper introspective work on myself and will eventually assist me when working with others. SOOOO these thoughts aren't COMPLETELY random, but the surprise "result" is that I'm finding this process rather helpful.

Now that we've all seen what happens when the family is left scrambling trying to come up with the finances for their loved one's care, I have a question . . . do YOU have Long Term Care Insurance for YOURSELF? Of course it's NOT just for those with dementia.

Am I the only "hyper vigilant" one on this board that wonders what my family will do if/when I get dementia? Am I the only one who gets a little "worried" when I can't complete a thought, or forgets things or my hand shakes (my dad had Parkinson's)? Do you also worry about what will happen to your loved one IF something happens to you? Does your family know where to find everything?

In the last couple years since we had to move mom to live with my brother, I started the WHAT IF game. As the dementia progresses, I get even MORE diligent in my preparation.

I got with my cousins and found out what each of the aunts & uncles had (or died from) - mom is one of 14 children.

I bought LTC insurance.

I'm in the process of documenting EVERY bill and investment and account number and phone call my sons will have to make WHEN the time comes - LOL if both hubby & I "go" together.

Is this "normal"? Is this because I've hit my 50s? Is it because I'm going through this with mom? Is it a combination of both?

Now I'm NOT going COMPLETELY nuts about it, and it DOESN'T consume my every thought and action, but does caring for a parent make you look at your own future in a different light?







I have seen women looking at jewelry ads with a misty eye and one hand resting on the heart, and I only know what they're feeling because that's how I read the seed catalogs in January.

Barbara Kingsolver - Animal, Vegetable, Miracle


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