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JRAUTIO's Photo JRAUTIO Posts: 1,704
2/6/12 10:54 A

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Hang in there, MAYBER! Thanks for your kind thoughts.

~~Julie~~


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2/5/12 10:40 P

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Thank you for your kind words and would not worry about following in your mothers footsteps as far as memory loss as think the computer is one of the things that keeps minds active and read read read keep active doing crossword puzzles picture puzzles and have a social life right now am lacking in that part of my life having moved three years ago to be near our son and his partner to assist with care of DH we do have a great church family and belong to a TOPS group that is wonderful and caring continue to take one day at a time
Thinking of you and your mom with prayers

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JRAUTIO's Photo JRAUTIO Posts: 1,704
1/31/12 8:19 A

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You were lucky to have your parents so long, MAYBER. I lost my dad to cancer at age 62. Have been lucky to have Mom in her right mind as long as we did, I guess. She's 80. Her symptoms started about 5 years ago; the last couple years she has been in definite decline, but didn't get REALLY bad until we moved her six months ago.

I can only hope I'm as lucky as your mom and can be of sound mind until the end. Definitely have my doubts after watching Mom...!

~~Julie~~


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1/30/12 9:53 P

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Still have my DH at home he is cooperative and I have the time to care for him so would have it no other way we have been together for 56+ years so know him very well and take care of his personal care with no problems
No one can take care of your loved like you would do so you really have to advocate when in an assisted living or nursing home
Both my parents were in homes before they went to their heavenly rewards and we had someone visiting them every day my dad had a stroke and could not speak but he said lots with his eyes and his actions dad died at age 86 and my mother lived to the age of 95 and a half and had her great mind until the last five days of her life when she had a stroke and heart attack in the same day Blessed be their memory Rest in Peace
One day at a time

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1/27/12 9:34 A

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Great advice. Good work being an advocate for your Mom!

Dianne, is there a facility near you that's specifically geared for memory care patients? Luckily, the place where we have Mom is "all inclusive" in that we aren't charged extra for bathing or other caregiver activities. You are right about having your dh there and still doing the same things for him -- the whole point of our getting Mom there was so that we could get help in doing those things.

~~Julie~~


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1/27/12 7:11 A

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Hi, my dh is also in assisted living. Alot of his personal hygiene things are left to me. The centre would do it but the cost would run up quickly and I just can't afford any more. So I still do his laundry, call to make sure he has taken a bath, I have to check his apartment to see if he requires anything, manicure, pedicure, haircut. Sometimes it feels that he is still living at home. He is really not happy to be there and if I do all these things I could just as well keep him home. He forgets why he is there and feels lonely. I go 2 or 3 times per week to visit. The biggest problem is that he refuses to participate in any activities and the only time he is out of the apartment unless it is for meals.

Another problem is that he has constant pain in his right side. It may be that his cancer is spreading - but as he is terminal they can only relieve the pain as much as possible.

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HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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1/26/12 9:22 P

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For those with loved ones in assisted living or rehab, PLEASE, when you go to visit, periodically check their feet. I was taking mom to a doctor's appointment & had bought her new socks & shoes. I was APPALLED at the condition of her nails. They were VERY long and a couple had even curled down and hitting the bottoms of her toes.

I wanted to blow a gasket, but quite calmly talked to the nurse and asked her to arrange a podiatry appointment (they have a visiting podiatrist at both rehab & assisted living) for mom. Then when I emailed the social worker in charge of her case about the update from her doctor's appointment, I also mentioned it to her. I said that it was upsetting that someone puts her socks & shoes on and takes them off every day and no one thought to bring it to the nurse's attention? I mentioned that if I had taken her to the ER (or if any of her doctors had needed her to look at her feet) while I was taking care of her that I could certainly be chastised or turned in to the authorities for allowing that to happen under my care.

I also mentioned it to the assistant in charge of the Wellness Unit at assisted living because there is no way this just happened in 9.5 weeks of rehab.

Speaking 9.5 weeks of being in rehab, mom is FINALLY going back to assisted living on Monday!

She is not using a wheel chair nor a cane. I was watching her PT on Monday and she did 15 minutes on the hand bike before I arrived, 15 on the treadmill, did several rounds of stairs, 15 minutes on the foot bike and had walked 100 yds to & from her room! Not too shabby for a 90 YO!

Today the nurse from assisted living was still there for her pre-return evaluation when I arrived to take mom to the cardiologist so we got to talk a bit. I showed her that mom wasn't in the Dementia Unit at Rehab, but was among the (LOL) "general population" and was allowed to walk around freely. She said that while Mom will still be in the Stepping Stones unit (guess you could call that the Dementia Lite area) Denise will make sure that Mom is taken downstairs so she can participate in even more enrichment activities.






I have seen women looking at jewelry ads with a misty eye and one hand resting on the heart, and I only know what they're feeling because that's how I read the seed catalogs in January.

Barbara Kingsolver - Animal, Vegetable, Miracle


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