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5/28/12 6:58 P

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hey big guy is definitely a term of endearment. the "that's what she said" retort is perfect too by the way. and if you're real et up about it substitue "your mom" for "she" lol...i hear big guy all the time and use it all the time, big dad came about when my wife got pregnant. i have since transformed it, adding another G and D to make unique to me. but i've never heard "big guy" from someone that didn't know me personally in one way, shape, or form.

 current weight: 249.8 
KERRNEL's Photo KERRNEL SparkPoints: (0)
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5/22/12 4:55 A

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I always thought it was a guy thing, but maybe it's just me... I sometimes notice when people lose weight, sometimes I don't. It's nothing personal, I just have other things on my mind most of the time. The times I do notice, I tend to usually not say anything. To men or women.

I personally don't like being singled out. "Oh, you've lost weight!" I really don't want to talk about it. It's nice to be complimented, but most of the time, I'd prefer people not make a big deal about it. Yeah, I'm a walking contradiction. lol

As far as the Hey Big Guy comment... If it bothers you, just retort "That's what she said." Or "That's what your wife/girlfriend said." (depending on how well you know them). My nickname on my golf trip is Big Daddy. Doesn't really bother me, especially now that I'm losing weight. Soon there'll be bigger daddies on the trip than I, but I realize it's become a term of endearment.

Don't be too sensitive about it. You're losing weight and feeling good, and that's really the most important thing.

~The Kerrnel

"I didn't come here to be ordinary."

 Pounds lost: 46.8 
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5/8/12 10:32 A

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Don't let it bother you at all. I lost almost 30 pounds and although it is evident to me, (ie..clothes fit looser, belt is running out of notches, etc) we visited with all my kids and grandkids and nobody else noticed. Maybe they are so use to us being over weight it is hard to tell a difference yet. But you are making a lot of progress. That is the most important thing you can do and worry about. Take care of youself first and foremost. If you know for certain they are being ugly then I always use an old reply with a smile...Cram it Bozo. But I doubt if that person was intending to hurt your feelings. So whatever you do hang in there, keep it up and enjoy your life.

BILBY4's Photo BILBY4 SparkPoints: (50,125)
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5/7/12 8:29 P

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I lost weight for me, not for the kookaburras or the starving of Africa or the upwardly mobile set or anyone. Just for me. If anyone else notices or noticed, happy to accept the attention with some grace. But it's not what matters; in the same way, any snide remarks don't matter either. "Haven't seen you for a while. Where've you been, Ethiopia?" I'm delighted to be on track and to have my eating, my weight and my life the way I want it.

 current weight: 224.0 
PIANO_DAN's Photo PIANO_DAN Posts: 585
5/7/12 7:14 P

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No need to respond to his comment. Just hang in there and stick with Spark People and your eating plan.

One of these days, these fellows at the conventions will say, "Have you lost some weight?" Just wait for them to notice. They will. You can't miss a 90 pound drop.

I found when I was down about 35 or 40 pounds, people that had not seen me in awhile almost always commented. That continued for about a year or more.

Now I get comments from time to time like this. "Wow, you have been keeping it off". Well, I'm up 10 pounds right now, but watching it and renewing my aim to stick with my eating plan.

Nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels!

 current weight: 218.0 
PLMITCH's Photo PLMITCH Posts: 14,229
5/7/12 4:53 P

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I think one of the issues we who are working to lose weight run into is that we ***think*** people should be noticing it, but for a variety of reasons they don't. I know the guys on my bowling team said squat for weeks and months until one of them made a comment about another guy in our league who had dropped a load, and then he turned to me and said something like "and you've dropped a bunch too, haven't you?". I'm surprised even that my wife does not bring it up more often, but then again, she sees me every day so it probably is not as noticeable.

So I guess it gets down to us doing a little shameless promotion of what we have accomplished! When I was at my chiropractor's office last week, he made a point to tell his staff just how good I look, etc. One of his assistants is contemplating getting the Lapband, so of course I went into "sales" mode and told her my whole experience, so I think I have a convert!


Team Leader, 50+ Males

SW = 287 (01/08/07)
1st Goal Weight = 210
(achieved 03/13/2012)
2nd Goal Weight = 199
(achieved 05/03/2012)
3rd Goal Weight = 187 [100 pounds lost since starting on SP]
(achieved 08/18/2012)
Final Goal Weight = 179
(achieved 02/21/2013)

321 Maintenance Weeks
5/7/12 4:31 P

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I think "Big guy" is a term of endearment between guys. The women might say to each other "Hi, sweety." but how would that look if guys said it. In Baltimore it's "Hon". So Big guy is as close to sweety or hon as another guy is going to get.

And face it, you are still a big guy. You are tall right? Of course next to me everyone is tall (5' 6 1/2").

It's always too late for a delayed response, but maybe something like this would have been appropriate:

"Hey, Big guy. How ya doin'?"
"I'm 37 pounds lighter but I see you're still ugly."

That was my brother's favorite dig: "Hey, I'm fat and you're ugly but I can lose weight."

Relax, even if he noticed that you;d lost 37 pounds, he may be beating himself up for not complimenting you and for calling you "Big Guy" so reflexively. Go out for a beer tonight with him and in your "catching up" mention your weight loss and how you are doing it. Unless of course, he needs to lose lots of weight too, then he might feel like you are preaching to or pressuring him. But do mention your losses.

And, by the way, my boys still call me "BIg Guy."

P.S. How 'bout dem O's, Hon?

Edited by: TIMOTHYNOHE at: 5/7/2012 (16:33)
Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible and suddenly you will be doing the impossible -- St Francis of Assisi

Rock 'n' Roll Dublin Half Marathon, Dublin, Ireland, 8/5/2013

BOSS61's Photo BOSS61 Posts: 6,530
5/7/12 4:15 P

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How would you handle this?...

Today finds me having traveled nearly four hours to set-up to exhibit and present to an annual convention and trade show for our industry. The fellow exhibitors are familiar faces, as I have seen them at this show and others in years past. Many I last saw last June at another show at this resort location.

For me, last June was a half-year pre-Spark and there are as of this instant, 37 lbs less of me than during last year's trade show circuit. Now I realize I have miles to go to achieve my goal (90 lbs to achieve a BMI of 25, assuming I do not grow taller at the age of 51). My doc thinks something close to a third to half that additional decline would be good enough.

Say it's 90 lbs to go. In rough, round numbers, I'm one third of the way there. Or halfway, per by Doc's misguided kindness. Either way, it's something. So was I wrong to be both angered and disappointed when one of the fellow exhibitors, not seen since last Spring, greeted me with a cheery, smiling "Hey Big Guy!" ? Politeness and professional decorum found me not responding with the venom I felt, but I feel unfulfilled both for the absence of a snappy retort and for the failure of the change in my physique to yet be apparent too the casual observer.

Do you do this? Have you been treated similarly by casual acquaintances who fail to recognize or realize the change underway? How do you handle it? Should I have told him off, educated him politely or just grin and shake the cad's hand? As a fellow vendor, he is not in a position to do me financial or professional damage, if it helps.

I turned the other cheek, and am angry with myself for having done so. I suck at social stuff and welcome input on this.

"Some day we will look back on this, and it will all seem funny" - Bruce Springsteen (The real BOSS, as opposed to me.)

 Pounds lost: 18.0 
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