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JANINE8969's Photo JANINE8969 SparkPoints: (13,722)
Fitness Minutes: (447)
Posts: 2,758
9/11/18 8:50 A

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Many a relapse and get back up again. Some days I don't want to get up but then I don't want to wallow in it either. What a place to be in! I have to hold myself accountable to be able to meet my HP halfway.

Janine


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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 6,308
8/29/18 2:50 P

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Hi

It is very hard to make changes especially through a depression. I have recently started a antidepressant and therapy to help with my clinical depression. But, it can be done. I a few ďabsences ď dates. I started with alcohol and fast food. Then months later I added junk food. I pray a lot and when I receive the guidance to take the next step I do. I donít know what I will change next. For now this is enough. I encourage you to not give up. Attend meetings, reach out and most importantly pray.

Kelly

Kelly, Gratefully Recovered Food Addict


 July Minutes: 330
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CARDIOQUEEN82's Photo CARDIOQUEEN82 Posts: 1,490
8/28/18 9:23 P

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Kelly,

I don't have a program really. I don't have a sponsor. I've gone to a few OA meetings in my town and asked one person but she didn't have time. She referred me to two other women but I haven't called them yet. Last week was pretty good, M-F anyway. I stuck to my meal plan and even though I was over on my calorie goal, I didn't binge. That all changed on Saturday night and has lasted through tonight - tomorrow's another day but I'm severely depressed and not feeling motivated at all at this point.

 current weight: 184.4 
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KPHEALTHY4LIFE's Photo KPHEALTHY4LIFE Posts: 6,308
8/25/18 3:18 P

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Hi SKRIBBLEZ,

It is hard to abstain from the foods that cause us cravings. I know it took months for me to gain sobriety from junk food. I started slow and asked to have fast food and alcohol cravings. I asked for junk food cravings to be removed. I started off trying to control and change everything at once. This was not the path for me, my HP lead me to taking smaller less stressful steps. I have worked with my sponsor to define and redefine my sobriety as I am being lead to new understandings.

Do you have a sponsor? How are you working your program?

I am here on the boards or via e-mail if you would like a friend.

Kelly



Kelly, Gratefully Recovered Food Addict


 July Minutes: 330
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CARDIOQUEEN82's Photo CARDIOQUEEN82 Posts: 1,490
8/24/18 10:50 P

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I made it from Sunday 08/19/18 until 08/23/18 - tracking everything, prepping food the day before, counting calories... eating the right things, avoiding binges... then tonight I binged. I went to my best friend's house to see my "niece" who was having her 12th birthday. I honestly wasn't going to eat anything, I'd already had dinner and at that point was at 1200 calories (my limit is 1300-1350) - but talked myself into "just having a burger" and "one piece of cake" because I'm not going to the two birthday parties tomorrow which were originally planned (tomorrow was going to be my "skip" or "not tracking" day). Well, I ate a burger...and several fistfuls of Cheetos...and some spicy chili doritos...and a (big) piece of cake...that enough would have been enough...but the real kicker - the part that proves to me that I need a program - is my friend was cleaning up all the plates and I said "do you want me to throw these plates away?" - these being the leftover cake plates. She says yeah, go ahead, and I don't go ahead. I sit and eat frosting until my husband has to come over and I see him coming and I'm like "okay, okay!" and I throw my hands up because I know what he's going to say because I've asked him to help me stay accountable. He's like "I'm just trying to help". On the way I told him, I knew I was doing it, my head was telling me, stop, you shouldn't be doing this, and even as I was starting to feel like ughhh this is too much sugar, you know, that physically ill feeling where you're not nauseous but you know you've had too much, I'm doing this, and still I can't make myself stop, I ate at least half a dozen spoonfuls of frosting before he came over there. As I'm doing this, I'm telling my best friend, "I haven't had sugar all week" because I'm embarrassed, and I feel like I need to explain why I'm eating frosting by the spoonful off of other people's plates...yet I couldn't make myself stop.

 current weight: 184.4 
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