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WILDRICE99's Photo WILDRICE99 SparkPoints: (0)
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5/6/09 9:41 P

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Wow. Your stories just make me all the more thankful that the adoption of my children were very routine. What are some people thinking anyway? Trying to break up siblings when there is no reason. My heart goes out to you. I'll pray that everything works out for the innocent.


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DARCIJO's Photo DARCIJO Posts: 352
5/4/09 10:08 P

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We found out today that the maternal grandma didn't pass the background check. So yea! Now the paternal grandparents want to try and get their granddaughter, which is the youngest. The worker had told us at the beginning that grandma wanted her, but grandpa didn't. So she didn't think they would do anything. Grandma wasn't even telling him when she came for visits. Then of course she stopped visiting. Now I guess grandpa is on board. So we are not out of the woods yet, but getting closer. I suppose we can hope that they can't pass the background check also. The worker really wants to be able to keep the kids together, so we do have that going for us. Just wish they didn't make everything so hard. We are going through Saint Francis in KS. I have adopted through two other states and this one has been the most difficult.

5/4/09 1:47 P

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DarciJo: DON'T GIVE UP!! The system does stink, but things WILL eventually work out in the end. Our little guy, who will be 5 next week, has been in foster care for over 3 1/2 yrs and is finally able to be adopted! Mom's rights were just terminated in the last 1-2 months, which is ridiculous! Just trust in God and everything will work out for the best! BTW, which agency are you using, if you don't mind my asking? Good luck and Keep the Faith!! emoticon

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KFEARS's Photo KFEARS Posts: 1,917
4/29/09 3:22 P

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I hear you there. Why do the courts always think a child should go with a blood relative? We almost lost ours back to their blood relatives after they had been with us over a year. It made me physically ill because I worried that they would be going to an unsafe place all in the name of keeping them with "family." Luckily birth mom fought for us to keep our second son to save him from going with paternal grandma. It is super annoying that you have no rights as foster parents, and that it seems the kids are thought of last. It took us 5 years to adopt our oldest son. He was 7 1/2 by the time he was adopted and wanted nothing more. It was hard to watch him have to wait to get some permanency in his life too. OK, enough of my rant, but I totally hear you. Something is not right when "blood" is more important than the well being of a child.
What a sad story parttimer. Unbelievable. Poor kids.

Edited by: KFEARS at: 4/29/2009 (15:24)

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DARCIJO's Photo DARCIJO Posts: 352
4/29/09 12:23 P

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We are hoping that's what happens here and grandma just loses interest again. The social worker has left it up to her to call and set up the next visit. That really stinks what happened to those two kids with you. Family is not always the best for these kids and the system needs to realize that.

PARTTIMER's Photo PARTTIMER Posts: 8,834
4/29/09 11:51 A

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Sometimes the system just stinks.I had 2 little ones for 3 months (I was their 3rd foster placement)that were placed with the intentions of them being adopted here. At termination hearing an out of state aunt stepped forward and asked for custody. The kids were moved from my home to a foster home in another state so she could visit and get to know them while she went through the approval/licensing phase.

After 2 months the aunt lost interest in all the paperwork and the kids were moved to another long term foster home in the new state. Of course everything is confidential so once they moved from my home I could received no more information but the casework did let me know what she heard the Aunts possible placement.

While with me, I collected a bunch of picture of the kid from previous foster homes and ones that I had taken and gave them to the caseworker to forward to their new home. She later said they were returned because of a bad address. She kept them for her file in case someone ever contact her. My heart just breaks thinking of how many homes these 2 kids moved through.

For me 2 additional kids were placed here within one week and they became permanent parts of my family even though that wasn't the plan at the time of their placement.

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MY MOTIVATION - My 8 yr old son said, "Mom I love you, will you play with my kids when I get married?"

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DARCIJO's Photo DARCIJO Posts: 352
4/29/09 10:04 A

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I am so annoyed with this system. We were matched with a sibling set about a month ago. We have been visiting them once a week and hoping that they would be moving in with us sometime in May. We have to get our license complete. We are waiting on the Health Dept. to come and inspect the house. I was thinking that they would be here sometime by the end of the month and I don't think our agency has even sent the paperwork off yet! That means it will still be a month once they send off our packet. Then last week we found out that maternal grandma showed up to the kids termination hearing and wants to adopt them. They have been in fostercare for two years and she hasn't been around that whole time. Now we have to go up against her to get the kids. The kids worker is all for us adopting them, but it's not just her decision. It's a team of higher ups that I hope realize that family is not always the best choice. We will continue to visit them once a week until something is decided, but this is getting so much harder. I've adopted from two other states and haven't had near the issues as we have here.

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