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1/15/13 7:57 A

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I will try to get check with Becky later, my spark time seems so limited lately. Hopefully will have a few minutes to spare tonight after work. I was just so tired last night, went to bed promptly @ 9.
I can't do the walking during my work day, our office manager will comment about us having the "puppy dog odor" as she calls it, she doesn't want us smelling up the office since we work with clients face to face. It doesn't take any exertion at all for me to smell, I noticed that the other day when it was so nice outside, didn't think I had perspired, but when I came in after a short walk, I definitely had the puppy dog odor.

Donna B.

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1/15/13 5:54 A

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Good Morning Donna!

Please ask the nutritionist Coach Becky on this site for help with ideas to your carb situation, I think it may help not only you but many others out here.

Its good waking up this morning without a sense of dread and just reminding myself to stick to small positive changes not only for me and the healthy habits but towards improving my communications with my husband and son. He made good efforts last night with showing Daniel a better role model and helping me with some house chores so I could carve out "me" time. He knows I rarely relax and its due to the pressures I put upon myself since I don't feel anyone else will help me. Granted I don't ask for help since when growing up it didn't make a difference so I learned to just haul the load. I resented the heck out of it though when I did everything and my brothers were allowed to do nothing.

How are you doing with your small changes to increase your exercise? Have you got a few people at work willing to do walk around the building breaks? How is Kenny's health doing?

Okay, I need to get ready to focus on Daniel getting ready for school and me finally eating some breakfast. I am making it a point to do my yoga dvd workouts in the morning to help calm myself and it helps me wake up more with a positive attitude. Daniel likes when I sit and eat breakfast with him so on days I don't have to work I am pacing myself to have better interaction with both the guys.

Please contact Becky. emoticon



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1/14/13 7:38 P

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That's wonderful that you two put everything out in the open. That's definitely a start headed in the right direction. Hope things work for the benefit of all 3 of you.

The visit with my nutritionist wasn't what I was hoping for. At my visit last month she had me to reduce my carbs to 15g per meal. Which really isn't much, one serving of carbs is 15g. & Snacks limited to 10g ( 2 snacks per day). But She wasn't pleased with my BS# so now she wants me to eliminate all carbs from my supper meal... REALLY??? Everything unless it's a meat product has some carbs, even veggies. I guess it's back to the drawing board of reseaching low carb meals & coming up with some ideas.

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1/14/13 7:15 P

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On Saturday, I had a heated rant at my husband while outside and was miserable the rest of that day and all of Sunday. I worked Sunday, in a fog of tears and was thankful that my store manager honored my request of limiting my involvement with the public and letting me focus on my tasks at hand and then into the stock room. I just couldn't "fake it to make it" attitude.

Today, I left a written message for my husband to come home early if he wanted to discuss things while Daniel was at school. I realized crying on Sunday I still don't have it in me to give up on my marriage and needed to see if he was willing to work these matters out. We did full disclosure- LOTS of tears on both parts but all the stress, frustrations,anxiety came out and cleared the air. I told him in order for things to get better I need help in the house, I need to know I am valued as a person, and to have "me" time to exercise. He told me, I am the one who puts all those responsiblities on my shoulders- and honestly I do, I don't know any other way its been ingrained in my personality since I was very young.

So like my healthy habits, as a family and a marriage partnership we are going to work on taking small consistent positive steps to communicating, helping, and showing value to each other. I know if we give this our best efforts and stay consistent family life will improve. I did go and get my IUD check up today and still had my doctor retest me for any STDs. That way I can live with a clear conscience and know for myself that what has been said is "true" and not a hopeful reply. He's an honest person when faced with direct questions and he knew I would not accept anything less. Lots were said and I was honest enough to see how my behavior recently has not made family life enjoyable. So small steps.



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1/11/13 4:48 P

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I hear that! I am finally home and have tomorrow off. So I plan on having a lunch date with Daniel and not letting myself get eaten up over all my turmoil emotions.

The exercise is really helping me keep control of my mouth and any extreme actions which I know is the best method of handling the current situation. Daniel does not need to see and hear screaming, crying outbursts.

Just going to focus on the nice weather tomorrow and plan on getting outside to walk and allievate any pressure or stress during the weekend.



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1/11/13 12:44 P

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Exercise always lift my mood. Ready for the workday to end, knowing I have the weekend ahead makes the day brighter.

Donna B.

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1/11/13 8:43 A

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I get the blues when it is rainy and damp outside-like today. I plan to do some Wii Fit later because I know I'll feel better.

Sarah

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1/10/13 8:31 P

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Another fairly good day at work. also got my appointment scheduled for my annual mammogram, it's so important to keep up to date on these diagnostic tests. With Breast Cancer running in my family, my OB makes sure to refer me for one each year..

Walking is a great stress reliever. Actually exercise in general in, as you have also discovered. Take care of yourslef, try not to let the stress get the best of you. Stay focused for what you need to do for yourself & Daniel.

Donna B.

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1/10/13 3:41 P

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I agree I am very happy he returned today. Unfortunately he's going to be buried under getting projects done by the end of next week. Time to instill time management skills with him.

I was not having such a wonderful day and was filled with some very dark thoughts and stress as I started to piece together possibly more. I did get to talk with my friend, Debbie so it helped some. I got myself out of the house since I was starting to make myself crazy in my search and find and focused on something good. I ran my SAMS Club errand then decided what I really needed was to go for an outdoor walk. I did so for 1 full hour and covered over 3 miles. I got some sun and enjoyed the spring like temps and told myself I cannot change what may have happened, I've got to face it and accept it. I can change that it will no longer happen or if so it will not be while I am still in my marriage. Just a few more things to think out then I will be checking my schedule to see about a free consultation with one of the best lawyers I've heard of in town. I am eating myself up with stress, doubts, and depression on being pretty much used as a servant and cheated on in the process. Its a horrible feeling and the only thing that keeps me in check is pretty much Daniel. A good old yelling rant fest at my husband would not be a memory I want him to have. I've got to remain smart and strong, so I am trying to combat each negative I may face daily with a positive action on my part.

The walk helped and focusing on Daniel this evening will get me through the rest of the night.

I am extremely HAPPY to hear you had a good less stress day at work. They are true blessings and gifts when they occur, you actually have time to breath, access, and knock things off the huge to do list.

I will keep my fingers crossed on the results for you.



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1/9/13 9:44 P

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Yayy, Daniel is feeling much better & heading back to school. Glad to know it wasn't the flu or anything more serious than a cold.
My day was a less stressful day than normal as well. Those kind of days are definitely needed once in awhile as I'm sure you will agree.
Actually, my dr only did the papsmear today, he said if it comes back with abnormal cells, then we will have to do another colposcopy, but if it's normal, he wants to do a repap in 6 months, just to make sure.

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1/9/13 7:38 P

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Donna I will keep you in my prayers and positive thoughts for the dr. visit. I agree, I'd love to come home to a home cooked meal and clean up so I could unwind for a change. Tell Kenny emoticon from me for doing such a kind & wonderful act for you. I think once you have a better idea for cutting the carbs a posted list of how to create a low carb meal for you to help your levels will come in handy for you both.

Daniel's fever has finally gone away- YES emoticon This means school tomorrow and I get the house to myself on my day off! I need the space & Deb is home tomorrow morning so I can call her and talk with a friend I really trust and respect.

I was super fast today in getting all my cash office duties done and it wasn't a stressful day at all which I can really appreciate. I do have an audit to do by 1/16 and hope I get the opportunity to work on it come Friday. Just trying now to keep Daniel on task with the school work, he's really done GREAT on his own at home and today actually tried to lend a hand with some chores. I do need the help & I will make sure to thank him at bedtime again.



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1/8/13 8:07 P

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Sounds like you had an awesome & productive time @ work. See I knew when you were hired @ Marshalls, that you would be the asset they really needed.

Glad to hear no flu or strep for Daniel, hopefully he will soon bounce back from the viral cold. But in the meantime he's got to keep his books caught up, glad to hear his teachers were some accomodating to allow him to make up his work at home, some aren't that willing to help.

Had a good day at work, been working on a huge project of reviewing commerical accounts, it's a slow process with all the other work I have, but I'm chopping away at it bit by bit. Got home late so Kenny has supper done --ham, mashed potatoes & limas --he's not quite got the low carb thing down --he just cooks what he thinks pairs well together, I'm just thankful for a meal already prepared.

I have to go for another colposcopy with my OB dr tomorrow, the last 3 have not come back with normal results, so he's trying to rule out any cervical issues. Hope this one is ok so so more of these for awhile.

Donna B.

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1/8/13 7:07 P

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Had a great short day at work, I actually got all my cash office duties done by 10:35 AM so that I could take on 2 different binders that are used to track & handle our lost and found items w/ procedures plus another variance on that tracks for accuracy and consistency with our returns. I got a start on speaking to the cashiers about the subject matter then having them sign a paper stating they have been taught and reviewed the proper procedures for doing returns. This way should they disregard and not follow through which we need 100% compliance I can do corrective actions. I was so happy I even had enough extra time to learn how to do the Kronos time system for entering in people's requests for time off into the system. They are slowly trying to show me how to do extra duties so that I can take the huge load off my ASM of Operations. I feel good and confident today.

I went by the school and got all Daniel's schoolwork for him to get a start on once he re-awoke in the morning. Once I got home and we ate lunch I got us an appointment with his pediatrician and headed to New Bern. We got there 20 minutes early and believe it or not we got seen way before our scheduled time and were actually heading out the door during the appointed time. Good News- he does not have the flu or strep throat. Its the viral thing going around, but his throat looked good, no aches or pains, or swollen lymph nodes, and low grade fevers with congestion. The doctor's office will fax a note to his school once I can get him to be fever free for 24 hours without medication. So another day tomorrow with him home. I had his Lang. Arts teacher call my cell phone over a book issue he did not take notes on to complete the projects that will be due. She is locating the book and having it held at the front office for me tomorrow so I can get it back to him before heading out to work again. He knows he's got a lot to make up for and we at least got through 2 of the things and have one more to complete for today's goal.

I called my friend, Deb and asked her if she could have her son, Zack call and talk with Daniel and somehow ask in the conversation who Daniel would he choose if his parent's were to break up. Zack, called this evening and him and D have been talking. Zack worked his magic and asked him the question. I was on the treadmill de-stressing and Daniel came to talk with me about his phone conversation. Zack told him it was a school homework assignment where he had to ask 2 separate people 2 different questions a computer generated. What a creative idea. I asked Daniel what his response was to such a tough question- he told me he'd choose me, but not to tell dad. I just needed to know to figure out my future game plan. If he wanted to stay with his dad then I'd honor that.

I know it will be a big challenge so I am doing my research & seeing what I can do in preparation. I plan on making some unexpected visits to my husband's work on base to see for my own eyes if this woman is hanging around the plant as I've been told. Its a lot harder to lie to my face when I can see plainly.

Tomorrow I weigh myself on the scale once again since I did it on Wednesday last week. I am trying to hold myself accountable and work on consistency with my portions, food choices, and exercise. Time to see if its starting to show. If its not it will still be okay, I am feeling better and less depressed/ in a slump mode. I don't like feeling helpless and a victim- I've always been a fighter and tried to stay true so why stop.



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1/8/13 7:48 A

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Hopefully you are over the sickness now that you are done with your meds. Hopefully some rest will help Daniel get past the symptoms & not have the actual flu, it's going around with a vengance, my grandson started with the flu & then ended up being hospitalized for pnuemonia. He's doing much better now.

Sounds like you have a good support line to help you with all the areas you need to be proactive in. There's so much you will need to take charge of to keep all your ducks in a row, but you are doing great by asking for help early on.

I'm still researching the low carb thing, she's concerned because we can't get my sugars down. Aside from cutting fruit & breads, not sure how to get my carbs to that level, you are right that is a really low amount, I'm learning this as I try to put meals together.

Donna B.

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1/8/13 6:28 A

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Donna, WOW that is very low on the carb scale for a meal per your nutritionist reccommendation. Have you tried doing a recipe search with SP for meals in that range and is it possible? Why not check out one of the teams that is for Diabetes to add a topic searching for suggested meals? Heck, why not send an email to Coach Meg the nutritionist on the site asking for a blog on recipes and meal suggestions in that range? I am sure others are out there who struggle like yourself.

Great news at your work then if you've got more people surrounding you bringing meals. It would be better if you guys could have it arranged that you even just do a walk around your building inside or out starting with 1 time during your meal break then working up from there.

Daniel isn't spiking fever but is severely congested as of 4:30AM and complaining about being cold. I will keep him home again today and when I get home from work I will bring him to New Bern to the pediatrician as a Walk In if I have to since I need to be at work by 8 AM. I did call the school yesterday from work to explain his absence and request his teachers be contacted to gather up classwork, projects, and homework for me to come get so I can try and keep him on task and not behind. They have only a few weeks left to this semester and I want to help keep his grade average up not down.

I finished the last of my meds last night so we will see how I fare now. I plan on being out of here before 7 AM so at that time I can hopefully enter the middle school get his school work, bring it home for him to look at and start, get to work from there and see how my day goes at work for a short one. I only have to work until 12 PM so I need to stay on task.

I did manage to speak with another associate yesterday to ask if she'd mind having her & her husband go over with me everything I really need to know and consider when it comes to automotive care and maintenance. I usually leave this to my husband, but since things are not good I am taking the initiative to learn what I don't really know so I can be more secure. She also told me of a part time associate we have who does taxes and for me to speak with her so I can see how I and the family finances would do if I file separately this tax year. Usually my husband does the taxes and it doesn't matter if I have been employeed it all goes together but when the tax return comes in he has it deposited in "his" savings account so I am not to have access to what may have been my return $. I am going to see if its possible for me to file separately and not mess up what was done previously during that tax return. I am doing what I can to build my "nest egg" and let him understand I am done being "controlled", cheated on, and treated as a "sub-human/servant". A relationship is about give and take but I don't have a whole lot of give coming my way just a lot of take. I beyond frustrated and very saddened.

For now I am going to focus on learning my job and career, being a good mom and helping Daniel get through his bout of illness and school work, and continue to access and do what I have to should I need to separate or get counselling. I would love to call my friend, Deb to get her thoughts but my calls are monitored now since I asked my 3 questions to him. Its hard since Daniel is home and the conversations I need to have with my husband are things my son does not need to hear.

Oh Well, I will get it figured out. It is helping with me doing my SP time again, using my elliptical or treadmill and when possible walking. Those are the times when I can think things through as I workout.

Hope your day goes well too.



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1/7/13 7:56 P

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Oh goodness, I was sure hoping he wasn't catching the crud, hope he makes a fast recovery so he's not missing out on important academics.

Today when I got to work, I found out that 2 of my 3 coworkers have restarted their weight programs & vowed to make certain changes to insure they didn't fall of the wagon, one important change both agreed on is to pack their lunches from home rather than ordering out everyday. This will make it easier for me to stick with it. However, one challenge I'm battling is find low carb meals --I'm on the SP Diabetic plan but the typical meal is for 50-60 carbs + snacks are about 20.. Well my nutritionist wants me on 20 per mean & 10 per snack.


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1/7/13 5:35 P

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I went to bed early the whole time I've been sick to try and get extra sleep since I still had to get up and go to work, etc...

I sure hope you get a better day/night's sleep today. I am on the tail end of my meds. so we will see. Daniel spiked a fever again so I had to leave him at home with my cell phone to call if he needed me since something was wrong with our landlines. If he wakes up tomorrow with a fever again I will have to take him to New Bern once I get out from work and just be a walk-in since I cannot have him continually missing school after the long break and he is having problems recalling the classwork.

Otherwise, I survived my Monday and inventory for our store.



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1/6/13 7:22 P

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I do understand, I limit my driving in & around Wilmington as much as possible. It's like I tell my clients, it's not a matter of IF you get in an accident, but WHEN. Too many unattentive & careless drivers on the road.
Good for you getting your shot, that's so important with all the sickness going around.
Haven't felt all that great since last night, don't know if I'm relapsing with the cold stuff or not, besides that my blood sugar isn't doing well & I didn't sleep at all last night. So heading home to put myself to bed, maybe a restful night will help all the medical issues.

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1/6/13 6:46 P

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PS: So now you understand why I avoid driving down and in Wilmington, NC at all costs. I fair very well driving around Jacksonville and most people I meet from other areas are NOT happy about the drivers here.



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1/6/13 6:45 P

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I did get my flu shot on the way home from work, so I can knock that off my "to do list". Not a bad day at work either, which I am very thankful for since inventory takes place tomorrow starting at 5:30 AM. Daniel had been asleep when I left off for work after giving him the Advil at 6:30AM. When I got home he told me he slept till 11 AM and felt better. No fever, sipping water and eating. I am just hoping it stays that way since I truly cannot miss work.

Trying to decide if I want to get on the treadmill or not since I've kept to doing cardio all week long but my legs are kind of achy from so much use all of a sudden most likely. I am still thinking 15 minutes isn't going to kill me out in the garage. So I probably will go out but only for 15-20 minutes and no longer for a short cardio workout to start the new week off with.



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1/6/13 8:55 A

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My appetite is ok now. Learning to adapt to eating properly thought to make sure I work on keeping sugars in tact but with all this sickness seems to be harder than I would have liked. Didn't sleep welll, Robitussin typically knocks me but I guess too achy, I think every joint in my body hurts this morning, I've moving around like I'm 100 years old.

Yes bad weather tenses us up at the office, but we don;t need anything like that since people in the Wilmington CANT DRIVE! I have never seen as many wrecks in any month period as I did in the month of December. Even have a couple of clients that were involved in multiple, seperate wrecks. Guess that's why New Hanvoer County has the track record of the highest % of wrecks with injuries in the state, & people wonder why our rates are so high. Go figure.

Hope you can get your flu shot & Daniel recovers from his sickness pretty quickly.

Donna B.

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1/6/13 8:34 A

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Donna I hope you were able to beat the congestion back and get some sleep. I rely on Nyquil at bedtime to help knock me out and do some light reading until I feel it kick in. I headed to bed early since I will be working today.

Daniel is starting to spike a low grade fever as of this morning. I gave him some Children's Advil and told him I need for him to sip water and rest. Food isn't essential if he's not hungry but I need the fluids in him. Currently he's sleeping again and I let my husband know he's to monitor his temperature when he's awake and keep the fluids going. I am thinking of calling to see if the pediatrician's office in New Bern is open at all today so if he's worse my husband can be the one to tote him to the doctor's. I have inventory at work tomorrow with the cash office/managment responsibilities and cannot call out sick. So my husband will have to step up to the plate for once.

I am doing better and near the tale end of my antibiotics, so I hope to stop by Walgreens on my way home to get the flu shot. This way if Daniel is coming down with the flu I will hopefully be able to combat against being infected and back at square one with my health. I cannot afford at this time not to be working or losing my job due to tardies/absences. Its a catch 22 being a mom.

How has your appetite been so far Donna? I would think since you are in the insurance business hearing the words "ice and snow" would make you cringe since the roads are not prepared right to handle it down here and people are not sure of how to drive in it. Plus I would be concerned about houses since ice storms can be very damaging.

I grew up in it so, I know how to prepare and can survive when you don't have power, etc... its something that happened frequently when I grew up and when the winter snows melted I dealt with living in a flood plain.

Hoping today at work goes well.



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I'm not a winter weather fan myself.. I actually cringe if I hear "ice" or "snow" in the weather forecast. I would be content to have spring like temps year round.

Dinner was good, now heading home to do some laundry before heading off to bed. The congestion is feeling a little worse than yesterday, so I will take a sudafed & robistussin & head off to dreamland early tonight.

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Yep. I don't like winter time anyway. People ask me how I went to Applachian for college with all the snow and cold. I tell them I was younger and more stupid then! I like to think I've acquired some wisdom over the years.

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Way to go on getting some walk time as well as fun time with Daniel. Sounds like you've have had a day fo fun and relaxation, something you are due for. Enjoy your time with your son, these are some precious memories,

Well got the house all cleaned, just have to finish the laundry tonight & tomorrow.
Now we are heading to dinner. We usually try to commerate our "first date" anniversary, but with both of us being sick since Christmas this if the first chance we've had to go out..I had wanted to go to Elijah's but with alll the shootings & robbings going on in the downtown area lately, I'm fearful to do so. So we are going to Longhorn, atmosphere & food is always good there.

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Donna, sounds like you have your own action plan for today with a great ending of a good meal with someone who cares- ENJOY

Daniel asked me to take him to a few thrift stores since its been months since I've had time to do that with him. So that's what we did, later we will work on his homework. I managed to get everything done during the week even being sick and so today, is my REST day. Since its sunny and I have no major demands on my time I went for a nice long walk outside to do some thinking and get my cardio that way for today. I even walked the dogs an extra long distance today after me & D got back so they are happy.

I will stay strong and work on being a better me.



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Sounds like you are surely doing your homework & getting an action plan in place, that's smart of you. Keep doing what you can to keep a plan in place for your son's best interest, I know you will.

Had breakfast with Kenny, we met up with coworker & her spouse & joined them. Now that we've been to Staples & picked up some office supplies, heading to Walmart, I need some glucose meter strips. Then back home to get my housecleaning down, & later a dinner date with DH, probably to Longhorn Steakhouse.

Have a great day.

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Donna, I am going to keep my head up and instead of just treading water looking for a bouy to save me I am going to start doing the doggy paddle if I have to. My plan of action is to continue to save as much $ as I can in my savings account that he cannot touch along with in my son's savings account that he also cannot touch. This will be my bouy. I will be ensuring at work they have my emergency contact information for my parents and friend, Debbie so if something ever happens to be my work will contact them immediately for Daniel. I honestly do NOT want my son to remain with my husband, should anything happen to me. I want him to turn into an amazing well round person who learns to give back instead of always taking from people. He will not learn this with his dad. I am going to keep to getting myself healthy and fit even if I don't hit a certain number on the scale I can work at toning and getting my fitness level back up. This will cut down on future medical costs. My work offers medical, 401k, and other benefits which I will be looking into. My boss, who went through something similar when she was younger with 4 kids knows the name of a GREAT lawyer in town that make others shake in their boots so I will be possibly calling to see what the cost of a retainer is for future reference.

When I spoke to my ASM yesterday, and inquired about the stability of my job/career at Marshalls she told me to rest assured. She mentioned me considering in the future the possiblity of becoming an Assistant Manager to Operations. This would mean salary, more headaches, and stranger hours BUT in the future if I had to do it on my own with my son it would work in my favor in a court of law I think. So, for now I am just going to focus on learning all I can at work especially from any mistakes I may make, working on my work relationships with my associates because honestly these "folks" act as my support family which I will be needing. I will try and do more with Daniel and work at keeping my frustration and temper at bay at home. Last night, I had tears leaking while I watched TV in a different room from my husband but I needed space.

I can relate to not getting out of work on time. I am always known to go over at the least by 20 minutes if not an hour or more. Sometimes the demand is just there and I know I am suppose to clock out but I don't like walking away from a situation where I can help and do it faster than most.

You make sure to enjoy the weekend. Since I did NOT have any extra time this fall to go and get a flu shot & when I was at Walgreens last Saturday getting my prescriptions the pharmacist mentioned me coming back once I was feeling somewhat better to get one. I believe I will do that, not today but possibly tomorrow on my way home from work. That way I am still on the antibiotics for a few days while my body is taking on the flu shot.

Have they considered hiring any more help for you at work or discuss changing your job title with a pay increase?

I hope you start feeling better along with your family. emoticon



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1/4/13 8:33 P

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Oh my, sure saddens me to know what you are dealing with in regards to your marriage. Just keep your head on straight & make those positive decisions -- I know you will.
Finally home & got my feet up, ended up working 2 hours over, seems to be a common theme on Fridays. We were actually slow all day til about 1 hour before time to close, then the bottom fell out.
Now ready to relax & enjoy my weekend.

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I am so happy you found something that works so you got a good night's sleep. Do that again tonight! I opted to skip using the Flosnase today and though I am somewhat congested I don't feel so groggy.

The only workout I need to try and get in is some cardio, but I think I will go for a small amount since I did the treadmill with various inclines and speeds last night. I woke up early and got my yoga and core strength workout in before Daniel woke up. I was so pleased with myself, plus I got all caught up with my laundry. I managed to walk the dogs after dropping D off at school and then I took on steam-cleaning all the carpeting in the home. Bruin got sick a few days back and though I cleaned each area up it still somewhat stained. Everything is now "Spring Clean" worthy even though its January. So I am ahead of the game for a change.

For some reason my husband was home again today and since D was in school I finally found my opportunity to ask him 3 questions before I headed out to run errands & get my next week's work schedule. I did not stay to continue the conversation once I got the answers since I wanted him to sit at home and truly think and let myself cool off and find my calm. I have to still function as a mom, Admin. Coordinator, and a kind person despite what the answers were. When out in town I called his old secretary who is always honest and truthful with me and a person I like and respect which I also believe she feels the same about me. I asked her about the woman's name I was given to the 3 questions I asked about and a rundown. Amy wanted to talk to my husband for me, which I told her to PLEASE NOT since he should change for the better on his own or for ME & OUR SON not because a person outside my family talks to him and tells him to shape up. She told me to call and we can even meet sometime should I need a friend. That in itself meant a great deal. I spoke with my Assistant Manager of Operations, who is technically my boss to give her a rundown of my situation to explain if some days I come in not my usual upbeat self and to bear with me. I wanted to ensure my job promotion is a permanent situation and that I do have a career with this company and a future. I need to have something I feel good & confident at when at home I am a bundle of nerves holding on for the sake of my son and stability for him. Miss Ava had me read a passage on her Nook from a version called the Olive Leaf Bible (I think) which broke down the passage in a way so I understood the meaning of the words. I believe I am going to bring her into my confidence and ask her to continue to help guide me and be my shoulder at work if she is willing to take that on. I know I need things to keep me strong and centered so I don't fall into a pit of depression and I work on being healthy and strong throughout my being so I can be the positive role model for my son and hopefully the one he will choose to be with should that decision have to be made.

Needless to say with the congestion and emotional issues around me my appetite though there is minimal but I am choosing healthy choices for a sweet, like fruit and when I wanted some crunch I measured out some dried cranberries and trail mix to keep it healthy and in proportion.

One step forward, learn from my mistakes, and don't fall down or get crushed by the pressures. I will overcome.



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1/3/13 8:17 P

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Last night I took some Robitussin & slept like a baby! I felt so much better overall today. Still hoarse sounding & have some congestion but not was tired & blah feeling

Donna B.

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1/3/13 6:24 P

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emoticon YES for Donna!

The guys tried to talk me into taking them out for Mexican tonight, but honestly we had enough leftovers in the fridge for a good meal so I told them "No" since last night we went to Golden Corral and I too did emoticon with staying within my calorie range even when eating out. I was so congested though.

I am skipping using the Flonase stuff since it seems to stuff me up more and using a Neti Pot again this evening and see how I fair. The coughing for me is just to get the gunk up.

I plan on getting out in the garage in just a bit to do some treadmill walking with intervals as my cardio. The dogs were happy with me taking them for a walk since my husband blew them off again, despite being home again all day. I am just going to focus on my getting & staying healthy since its a personal choice I cannot make someone do activities they don't truly want to do. I know the dogs LOVE walking and they like to keep a brisk pace unless there are too many interesting smells along the way.

I hope you get a good night's sleep tonight Donna.



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1/2/13 8:21 P

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Doing some coughing, but mostly due to asthmatic issues. I had went to the medac on Sunday but that was a waste, he said it was the common cold --really, so I've never run a fever for days with other colds. Besides I can tell my asthma is kicking in so need to put in a call to my GP, may need a round of prednisone to open my airways. I didn't sleep hardly any last night because of coughing & shortness of breath, inhaler isn't doing the job any longer.

I have a woohoo! I stayed under my calorie limit today!!! That's even with going out for Mexican cuisine for supper. Going home to have my snack --orange, this will put me at my low end of the range.

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1/2/13 7:58 P

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Donna- thanks I sure have missed your chats which help keep me centered and boost my self esteem. emoticon

I hear you on the chest stuff. I have been coughing but its to bring the guck up- Ewwww. Our District Manager & District Head of Loss Prevention showed up today for a visit/audit as we prep for our big inventory on 1/7. I had a stack full of stuff dumped on a back office desk the managers handed to me. But those girls stayed last night until like 3 AM busting their butts, so I tackled one thing at a time and only have like 1 thing still on the desk to add to my duties tomorrow. So a good day despite my nose blowing, clogged ears, and low voice.

I too have been working more diligently with my food choices. I always bring a lunch and for now I am opting for some soup with fruits as my sides. Plus I try and sip my water bottle throughout the day.

Sounds like you have a ton more stress than me again at that office. Just focus on those meals and staying in range with your numbers for now.

School starts tomorrow so I have to get the house back into gear for the morning routine.



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1/2/13 8:03 A

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OMG Suzy, I'm so sorry about the marital issues, willl be praying for wisdom & guidance as you try to make the best decision for all.
Hope you get to feeling better soon. My chest congestion seems to be getting slightly worse with each day, just don't have the time to take off from work, one girl on vacation this week & boss & his wife out as his mother recently passed & they are working on getting dad's affairs in order. So a heavy work load fell in my lap, of course what's news??
Day 2 of my new goals with sp --I've got my meals planned & ready for another day of success.

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1/1/13 7:12 P

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Donna, I still managed to get out in my garage and do 45 minutes on my treadmill! I even broke out my resistance bands and did some lower body leg strength exercises then stretched. I am really going to focus on getting back on track with healthy habits. My weight climbed back up and my fitness level went lower than I imagined. I figured it was time I invested in buying a used treadmill to combat my stress,depression, and frustration of not having alternative cardio. I LOVE my outdoor walks but my new work schedule makes it very hard, I usually only have time to walk the dogs before its dark outside, which they love and are so grateful for the adventure.

I am not in a fog today and only at times does my hearing go out due to congestion. I still sound very bad though and my body is trying to cough up whatever has traveled down my system during my sleep pattern. Not a fun time but I am happy to have more energy again. I am going to hope the 10 days of antibiotics wipes it out but if not then I will be making a call to my primary doctor for a follow up since I cannot have anything turn to pneumonia.

Its also helping that the management team really did listen to me and understand that they had to start taking some of the mounds of responsibilities off my shoulders and spreading it to others and giving them the opportunity to step up and show their talents. I was getting crushed under all the juggling at work, home, and tons of emotional issues. Also the marriage is not in a good place and hasn't been for quite awhile. I am going to have to do some investigating since I think he may have or had cheated in the past few months. That will make it even harder since then I have to make decisions. I've been trying my best to hold out for Daniel to turn 13 in August when in NC courts he has a right to voice who he wants to live with. I think my husband would try and take him just to hurt me, or worse could be he doesn't fight at all and crushes Daniel with that. Its a no win situation. So I am going to focus on what is good in our family life and try to work on it from there but it cannot remain just being me doing ALL the work, I am exhausted and depressed over it and people I work with and my gyn doctor and staff could tell right off.

One day at a time and focusing on healthier and happier and learning to be grateful for what I have.



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1/1/13 2:29 P

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Yeah I was just thinking about you yesterday when all of a sudden I saw your comment on this thread. The winter crud has hit all of our family hard, most of our family except 1 grandson so far as been sick with it. DH & I have been battling it since Christmas, just can't seem to shake it. The sad thing is I just got over a sinus infection in November. I sure hope 2013 is going to be a little less sickly for us.

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1/1/13 2:15 P

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Hey Donna,
Gosh I have missed chatting with you! Right now I am battling head congestion with coughing and a very low soft voice, no chills or fever and some appetite so its all good. I plan on trying to eat a fruit or veggie at each meal, keep the water going in, measure my portions when at home & weigh them plus really work on doing some exercise daily even if its 10 min. cardio, 10 min. strength exercises, and 10 min of yoga. That = up to 30 minutes and I can go up from there.



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12/31/12 9:31 P

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Suzy, you have a good strategy in place, refocusing is important to mapping a plan for success. I've been working to do the same. I didn't lose any weight, well at least not keeping it off in 2012 so I'm aiming to change that in 2013.

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12/31/12 6:47 P

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Well, they finally listened to me at work and took 2 major side titles off my plate so I can focus on my new job title of being the Admininstrative Coordinator, which is a part of management but at an hourly rate not salary. It is relying on my organizational skills and not so much my customer service which is a nice break and needed. It also helps that I don't have to work night shifts just the mornings to afternoons so I am going to make a point of scheduling myself in for at least 30 min. each evening I get home to use my elliptical or the used Sole Treadmill I got myself.
I decided since I keep getting kicked to the back of the to do list without any help I needed to re-prioritize and the guys are going to have to deal. I am currently sick though with something and on antibiotics since Saturday. Needless to say, I've listened to my body and have been sleeping pretty much as soon as I get home from work. I finally started not feeling so extremely fatigued and after a brief nap after work yesterday, I managed to wash both the dogs and clean that bathroom which was a disaster. YES, I had to rest on the wet carpet but I got back up and managed to get the floors clean, laundry done in batches, and the carpets vaccuumed. I had asked both the guys to lend me a hand which fell on deaf ears. So I was in bed early again last night. Today, I am not nearly as fatigued just feel like I am underwater due to the congestion. I took on what some might consider "Spring cleaning" but for me is how I see in the New Year as I take down all the Christmas stuff. I somehow managed to get both the inside and outside of my home done today. I am proud of my efforts.

I will be doing my best to work on consistency with my exercise, food track & measuring, and sleep. If that and taking my vitamin D chewies doesn't help, I will consider looking into what is offered through my work for therapy/help. Its not right for me to have a full day of crying non-stop and feeling defeated. I don't want to live that way and will see if my changes help and if not then I will seek help.

I've tried asking my husband and son for help but its sporadic and having to repeat the pleas repeatedly before a grudging help effort is done. That alone puts my frustration and stress through the roof.

So for now I am going to think on setting some goals and trying to refocus. I am also considering talking with a wonderful lady I work with and asking when she goes to her church. I usually end up working on Sunday mornings to keep the cash office running smoothly so Mondays aren't days you feel like quiting. So, I will ask Miss Ava if she has maybe a Wednesday evening she attends and where and when. She is a big inspiration to me daily & she keeps me centered on my most stressful day with positive words. Maybe that is another avenue for me to pursue.



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12/19/12 9:58 P

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Suzy, are you sure you weren't talking about me? I always seem to be dealing with hivh stress with my insurance job but now am dealing with more stress dealing with my daughter's legal woes. When i was able to walk daily i found it helped relieve the stress.

Donna B.

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12/19/12 8:33 P

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Suzy, the best relief for stress is exercise and SLEEP. Eating right always help also. If part of what you are feeling is the seasonal affect disorder then the best treatment is sunlight, take your breaks outside (they should be mandatory for you- the breaks that is) and you should take the time and care for yourself to make sure you take a 10 minute break for every 4 hours you work, so you can get 20 minutes of sunlight (if it's not raining) a day. You could also get the lamps that treat SAD, and spend 10 minutes a day in front of that.
But you have a whole lot of stress and a lot of demands that draws your energy away from you and is giving to others.
At home, sounds your guys need to step up to the plate and start taking more responsibility for themselves and better care of you. At least through this downer you are experiencing right now.

I wish you the best and hope that you are able to get sleep, exercise and a proper diet all sorted out and then get out when it is sunny and do more than ASK for help.

be authentically you...
it's journey, not a one day hike.

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12/19/12 7:32 P

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I have been contending with a lot of stress since my work involves the retail business and I have been thrown into situations where I have been juggling 3 major titles with lots of responsibilities and having to have the answers for over 50 employees who all want to make demands at the same time as customers. People I work with plus my family have seen me caving in under the stress and pressure since I always demand 100% in my work ethic despite the loads put upon me. Then I come home and contend with all the responsibilities here with no help from my guys add to that holiday getting ready stuff and I've ended up at the bottom of my HUGE to do list.

I have been trying to figure out if I've been letting stress control my attitude and energy levels or if its now more of a "winter's blues" mix since I leave for work before the sun rises and usually come home when its setting. My outdoor activities have gone caput except for walking my dogs since no matter how stress or tired I cannot compete against puppy dog eyes and the enthusiasm they have at the word or hope of me walking them.

If you contend with seasonal depression or the winter blues, or plain old stress how do you relieve it?

I have just recently bought a used Sole F80 treadmill so maybe when I get home I can schedule back some ME time, grab the ipod & hit my garage for at least 20-40 minutes and walk/jog my troubles and daily stress away before taking on the home aspects of responsibilities. Is this being selfish?





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