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KDJOFDC's Photo KDJOFDC Posts: 40
12/27/11 9:30 A

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. . . "Tons of fans?" Sorry, I couldn't resist that. Yes, she does have a lot of fans, but the reason is because Ruby is so incredibly influential and charismatic. I've started listening to Rascal Flatts, for goodness sake! emoticon I think that Ruby would be an excellent talk show hostess. She could bring guests on like people who have lost an incredible amount of weight, people who want to lose weight,and weight loss tips and recipes. She could even bring on people who have been able to beat the odds, whatever they may have been. I would love to see a show like that, and I would love to see Ruby on a regular basis throughout the year. I don't like waiting and looking for her show all year, only to see it for a couple of random months or on Hulu or YouTube. Is there any way we can get that word out to the network?

Edited by: KDJOFDC at: 12/27/2011 (09:32)
LAINIESNEWLIFE's Photo LAINIESNEWLIFE Posts: 61,094
11/2/11 9:31 P

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I'm hoping that another network will pick up her show, but so far nothing.

*~ Lainie ~*
Georgia - EST

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." - Albert Schweitzer

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring; all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ~ Leo Buscaglia


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FIREBALL_V's Photo FIREBALL_V Posts: 364
11/2/11 9:26 P

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I don't know what the deal is....can't they see that she has tons of fans?? It's a much better show than some of that garbage they have been airing lately! I called the Style channel a few months ago to tell them I wanted her back and they acted like they never planned on canceling her show.

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LAINIESNEWLIFE's Photo LAINIESNEWLIFE Posts: 61,094
10/1/11 7:16 P

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Hello Jackie! Welcome back. There's still no confirmation when and if Ruby will be returning. I guess they are still in the talks about it.

*~ Lainie ~*
Georgia - EST

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." - Albert Schweitzer

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring; all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ~ Leo Buscaglia


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LYDIASPURPLE's Photo LYDIASPURPLE Posts: 2,526
10/1/11 1:40 P

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Hello Ruby-lites, I've been out of commission and I was looking to see what is happenig with Ruby's show if they have confirmed her return. I have a lot to catch up on here so I was hoping someone could give me at least a short answer. Thanks!

"Never tell your dreams to small minded people"~Steve Harvey




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LAINIESNEWLIFE's Photo LAINIESNEWLIFE Posts: 61,094
9/25/11 5:37 P

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I miss her show too. On Facebook, she said they are still in discussions for the return of her show.

*~ Lainie ~*
Georgia - EST

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." - Albert Schweitzer

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring; all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ~ Leo Buscaglia


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MY05KIDDOS's Photo MY05KIDDOS Posts: 547
9/25/11 4:02 P

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Ruby will be sharing videos and updates via her
YouTube channel, here is some more info http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=2941
84287263835&refid=7 I am missing her show and hope one of the networks picks her up!


Fear doesn't have to make you cruel or cowardly. Fear can make you kind-Doctor Who

Working for God on earth does not pay much,
but His Retirement plan is out of this world



DENRNAJ's Photo DENRNAJ SparkPoints: (137,219)
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8/27/11 7:28 A

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I'm headed to find the Style Network blog. I watched Ruby on Netflix and I guess that I am missing a whole season. I really admire Ruby and want to keep up with what is going on with her. Thanks for the suggestion!

Make it happen- just one step at a time!


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CAROL3SAN's Photo CAROL3SAN Posts: 20,162
7/9/11 12:15 P

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Don't get style TV, but I am going back to looking at clips of the show on line. I can identify with Ruby because I've lost weight and gained back a lot of what I've lost. Thankfully I've been doing very well with my weight lost and I'm feeling more positive rhese days.


"You never know just how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"
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"If it is to be its up to me"


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FATJAIL's Photo FATJAIL SparkPoints: (11,208)
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7/8/11 10:12 P

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I appeciated this season - finally a show that shows the reality of seeing those hard fought pounds come back. It reminds me of one of my favorite sayings - "How you fall doesn't matter, but how you get back up".




Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
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MRSAKINS2005's Photo MRSAKINS2005 SparkPoints: (0)
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7/8/11 9:50 A

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I just got my style back not too long ago. Been reading the posts trying to catch up. Ruby has been through a lot this season and I pray for her and her future on her journey.

When thinking of your weight loss and fitness motivation & weight loss goals, remove all fears by:

1.Focusing on the good
2.Focusing on the objective
3.Focusing on the goal
4.Focusing on the solution
5.Focusing on my aim
6.Focusing on the true destination

USA/EST (OHIO)



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REACHING4HOME's Photo REACHING4HOME Posts: 7,783
6/26/11 7:57 P

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I have never actually seen Ruby until this week when I realized HULU was a part of my new computer so I have been getting my Ruby fix but they are just a succession of clips. Still I get the main idea.

"Friends are angels that hold us up when our wings have forgotten how to fly"

Erin
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LITTLE_QUEEN's Photo LITTLE_QUEEN Posts: 41,421
5/15/11 1:30 P

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Yes, Faye that was the season finale

Coleader of Rootin For Ruby, And proud to be a Ruby Lite

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=27277

PLEASE EXCUSE THE CAPS AND MISTAKES AS I HAVE VISION ISSUES
THANK YOU



"To be a winner, all you have to give is all you have." -Unknown



Hot on the presses today - little queen

Making your passion play - little queen

Nobody knows your melancholy mind -

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TEXASGIDGET's Photo TEXASGIDGET SparkPoints: (103,514)
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5/15/11 1:04 P

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I'm a little late in commenting, but I finally was able to catch up on the last episode, which I understood was the season finale and read her blog as well. I have to admit that I completely understood what Rosie was saying to Ruby. I was raped not once, but twice in my teenage years and it was difficult to go through and I came to the realization years ago that my weight was a mode of self protection for me. Somehow, now that I've met and married my husband, I thought that things would be easier for me, but it's still seems to be hard for me to let go of some of the old habits. Ruby has made so many awesome strides for herself. According to her blog, she has agreed to go to OA. I know this may be a difficult decision for her but I think it will be a good decision for her in the long run. No doubt she can do this...as we all can. We just can't quit trying.

Take Care and God bless,

Tracey W.

From: Dallas, TX and in Central Standard Time



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MSYATES04's Photo MSYATES04 Posts: 2,476
5/14/11 5:26 P

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was this last episode the season finale?

you must FOCUS = (F)ollow (O)ne (C)ourse (U)ntil (S)uccessful! Ready set GO!


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DILLYWEED's Photo DILLYWEED SparkPoints: (0)
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5/13/11 1:25 P

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I started thinking about an earlier episode where they say she's in a ground hog day movie. I think she needs to want change before she can truly heal herself. Did you notice in the last episode she stopped to take a bunch of pills. Why? May be she needs to start mapping out what is really holding her back and may be she needs to start by healing her family's history so that she can heal herself. I too was a lot like Ruby and it's taken me almost 3 yrs. to resolve the cause of my weight gain and pain. I know what it feels like to live with pain for years and to have the doctor tell you there's nothing wrong or just give you a pill for a quick fix. I wish and hope for all the best and for her to listen to the professionals so that she can have peace with herself. On a side note, say it's illegal to have pills that are not in a prescription vial.

Edited by: DILLYWEED at: 5/13/2011 (20:43)
Never give up!


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MTNGRL's Photo MTNGRL Posts: 10,468
5/10/11 7:19 P

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I thought Sunday's episode was fantastic. I just hope that Ruby takes the next step. Jeff is such a great friend and Rosie sure understood what Ruby was feeling and spoke it so elegantly. I have more respect for Rosie after seeing the show.

Emily
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Member Since: 8/28/2006

Be Kind to Each Other
Make today count!!
Tomorrow is not promised, so make sure you take time today to find some joy, share your love and do at least one thing that is good for just you! Look for a rainbow everyday!


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JOYEOUSD's Photo JOYEOUSD Posts: 3,004
5/10/11 6:55 P

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WAAAAAH!!

Joye
DETERMINATION=FOCUS=PERSISTENCE=CONSIS
TENCE=SUCCESS!!!

We don't want to have to say Being cremated is my last hope for a hot, smokin body!

Never trade what you want at the moment for what you want the most!

"Suffering is in the indecision"

Remember: If nothing changes, NOTHING CHANGES!!

If you are tired of starting over, STOP GIVING UP!

FOCUS on the path---one decision at a time.


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LITTLE_QUEEN's Photo LITTLE_QUEEN Posts: 41,421
5/10/11 6:47 P

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the last one was the season finale, but I am sure they will show reruns, I hope!

Coleader of Rootin For Ruby, And proud to be a Ruby Lite

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=27277

PLEASE EXCUSE THE CAPS AND MISTAKES AS I HAVE VISION ISSUES
THANK YOU



"To be a winner, all you have to give is all you have." -Unknown



Hot on the presses today - little queen

Making your passion play - little queen

Nobody knows your melancholy mind -

Little queen



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JOYEOUSD's Photo JOYEOUSD Posts: 3,004
5/10/11 6:43 P

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There is one more episode of Ruby for this season, right?

Joye
DETERMINATION=FOCUS=PERSISTENCE=CONSIS
TENCE=SUCCESS!!!

We don't want to have to say Being cremated is my last hope for a hot, smokin body!

Never trade what you want at the moment for what you want the most!

"Suffering is in the indecision"

Remember: If nothing changes, NOTHING CHANGES!!

If you are tired of starting over, STOP GIVING UP!

FOCUS on the path---one decision at a time.


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SIMPLYABUNDANT's Photo SIMPLYABUNDANT Posts: 5,609
5/10/11 11:16 A

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This was another fantastic episode in a string of several fantastic episodes. I was impressed with how Rosie spoke with Ruby Ė so levelheaded, so centered, so calming and reassuring, but not without some wake-up call advice, esp. about Denny and relationships in general. Ruby is dealing with some extremely sensitive issues, and on television at that. I admire her courage so much, while at the same time I respect her decision about what she shares (or doesnít share) with her audience.

Another thing that I really liked about this episode was seeing more of how Jeff and Ruby relate to each other without the rest of the gang around. What a great friend he is! I got a kick out of how they kept comparing their pedometers. Ruby is so competitive! Itís one of the things that makes me feel certain she will one day reach her goal.

I also appreciated how many times Ruby encountered, and pointed out, how she didnít fit in NYC. Unless you are large like she is, you donít often think about how limiting it can be not to fit through turnstiles (ďspinnersĒ) or in subway seats. Itís a lesson in how limiting obesity is. I still remember the first time I was able to go on an airplane and not need the seatbelt extender. What a wonderful moment! And yet there are still some theaters I donít attend because Iíve had very uncomfortable experiences there in the past. Losing weight is about breaking down a lot of barriers ~ some of them very real and concrete!


Sue in NC
.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:
"Not all those who wander are lost..."
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5/10/11 2:43 A

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Hi All, great episode and I agree with everyone's comments. Ruby and Rosie had a "meaningful conversation" where they got to the heart of the matter. Now it's up to Ruby, with the assistance of her circle, to decide if she's ready to be "revealed" to the world or keep hiding behind her weight as a security blanket. I think once Ruby gets to the root of her issue, past all the pain, the tears and fears she will prevail, at whatever weight she settles on. G'nite.. till next time!

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5/10/11 1:44 A

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This last episode was one of her best. I know Ruby is trying hard to remember what had happened to her. Our minds are a powerful tool. It could be that the pain was to much for her to handle and that is why memories are gone. Rosie was frank with her about there may never be enough proof for her to prove to others. When she is ready it will start coming back to her. I hope it does scare her to death when it does come back. I hope the show continues on. She is such a needed figure on tv.

SHAGADELIC's Photo SHAGADELIC Posts: 1,403
5/9/11 10:44 P

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I just read Ruby's Style blog where she talks about the meeting with Paula White. I'm glad that Ruby admitted that she struggled with her feelings toward her brother. While I don't have the experience of having a special needs sibling or child, I can relate in a different way about ambivalent feelings toward someone who needs special care and attention all the time. It is definitely a stressful, painful thing.

At this point, I am tired of guessing what happened to Ruby. I really don't know and I doubt if I'll ever find out. I do hope that she finds out but if she chooses to never share, good for her. I know she's trying but I hope she's not trying so hard for the benefit of her fans. She owes herself first before she owes any of us. I also hope she's not being pushed by show producers either.

"You sound like a damn fool when you say it wrong!"



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LITTLE_QUEEN's Photo LITTLE_QUEEN Posts: 41,421
5/9/11 9:10 P

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Ruby would be great for QWN and of course Tennie has a show there

Coleader of Rootin For Ruby, And proud to be a Ruby Lite

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=27277

PLEASE EXCUSE THE CAPS AND MISTAKES AS I HAVE VISION ISSUES
THANK YOU



"To be a winner, all you have to give is all you have." -Unknown



Hot on the presses today - little queen

Making your passion play - little queen

Nobody knows your melancholy mind -

Little queen



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ILEANA77's Photo ILEANA77 Posts: 1,045
5/9/11 8:15 P

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I love this episode but I'm sad the season is over. My heart and prayers are with Ruby. She is an amazing woman. Visiting New York was nothing easy, thanks God Jeff was with her.

I do not understand how her relatives cannot help her to get her memories back. Did they know that someone was hurting Ruby and did nothing??? Somebody must know something. Would it be better for Ruby to do not know the truth? So many questions...

I just want to see Ruby reaching her goals and living a healthy life...

This is a learning journey... I am learning to eat healthy, to love exercise, but more important, I am learning to love myself.

"I may not be a lion, but I'm a lion's cub, and I have a lion's heart." Queen Elizabeth I


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JOYEOUSD's Photo JOYEOUSD Posts: 3,004
5/9/11 5:37 P

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I also think OWN would be a great place for Ruby's show. I hope she wants it to stay on somewhere. She knows Oprah, so maybe they will work it out! I loved the show yesterday. I really think she doesn't remember any sexual abuse. But the big question is why can't she remember anything before 13 and why isn't she talking more to her Mother about that?

Joye
DETERMINATION=FOCUS=PERSISTENCE=CONSIS
TENCE=SUCCESS!!!

We don't want to have to say Being cremated is my last hope for a hot, smokin body!

Never trade what you want at the moment for what you want the most!

"Suffering is in the indecision"

Remember: If nothing changes, NOTHING CHANGES!!

If you are tired of starting over, STOP GIVING UP!

FOCUS on the path---one decision at a time.


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LITTLE_QUEEN's Photo LITTLE_QUEEN Posts: 41,421
5/9/11 2:13 P

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I posted that blog here on another thread that says Ruby's blog

Coleader of Rootin For Ruby, And proud to be a Ruby Lite

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=27277

PLEASE EXCUSE THE CAPS AND MISTAKES AS I HAVE VISION ISSUES
THANK YOU



"To be a winner, all you have to give is all you have." -Unknown



Hot on the presses today - little queen

Making your passion play - little queen

Nobody knows your melancholy mind -

Little queen



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EILEEN828's Photo EILEEN828 Posts: 709
5/9/11 1:35 P

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OK everybody, you are all going to have to go to Style network and read Ruby's blog where she lays out in public what has been bothering her and who she is trying to protect. She will not put this information into the TV show and she tells why. She admits she still does not remember her past but that is actually a side issue right now. I think it best if you read it for your self instead of someone else putting their own spin on what she says. I love Ruby, I think she is a fascinating person and I wish her all the best. I can personally relate to her real reasons and so it has made an impact on me. Go check it out.

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LAINIESNEWLIFE's Photo LAINIESNEWLIFE Posts: 61,094
5/9/11 11:21 A

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I agree with you Kathy. I really liked this episode too. There is a petition that we can sign to keep Ruby on. Hopefully, we can get a lot of signatures and the network will see there are a lot of people interested. In the mean time, we can continue to follow her on Facebook and read her blogs.

*~ Lainie ~*
Georgia - EST

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." - Albert Schweitzer

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring; all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ~ Leo Buscaglia


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DILLYWEED's Photo DILLYWEED SparkPoints: (0)
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5/9/11 11:02 A

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I think letting Ms. White and Rosie assume (ie. sexual abuse) she can hide behind the real truth and the show has to go on. If she spill the beans to soon then maybe they're afraid the ratings will go down. Anything can affect a person differently. It could of been a one time thing such as a put-down or a hit and she has dwelled on it ever since and giving it more and more power over time. But the show can give a powerful message to others about facing the truth and dealing with it. I know for me I used food to be noticed because I got a reaction from my family (parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles). I thought I needed to be seen and I was tired of being ignored. My family hates fat people and the more I was seen the more I hated myself. So, I decided yesterday that my goal is to love myself and to use my voice to be seen and not my weight. emoticon

Edited by: DILLYWEED at: 5/9/2011 (11:07)
Never give up!


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SHAGADELIC's Photo SHAGADELIC Posts: 1,403
5/9/11 10:50 A

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I felt a little funny watching last night's episode. It's a tricky thing when trying to get someone to see something about herself. You walk a fine line when trying to convince someone of your belief when you do not know for sure what happened. Admitting you are a victim of sexual abuse is not liberating at first. It's scary and filled with shame, anger, helplessness and fear. It takes a while before you get to that place of feeling free of all those things. It took me a long time to say it out loud and when I did (to the wrong person, it turns out), I felt even more afraid than I did when I kept the secret. The difference is that Ruby has no memories of that period of her life and I remember everything that happened. That was a part of the big debate about Courage to Heal. The argument was that there is no such thing as "lost memories" and that people who have truly been sexually abused will remember. I don't know how true that is but I'm open to the argument.

At the risk of projecting, it makes sense that she was sexually abused. Many women use weight as a way to make themselves undesirable, decreasing their susceptibility to sexual abuse. It also stops you from having to experience intimacy because, as other people have said (and which I don't believe), overweight or obese people are not attractive. Intimacy is not safe, sex is not safe. You have to keep yourself as far away from it as possible. It almost becomes an involuntary response to regain weight when you feel unsafe. All this probing to get at her memories is triggering Ruby to overeat. Not a doctor or psychologist, but from my view, regaining 60lbs is her response to a threat.

Denny is the least of Ruby's issues. He's just a distraction. The great thing about Ruby's friends is that they all truly love her, including Denny. I like what Ruby said about understanding that it's about the issues that caused you to gain the weight and not just eating and eating. It may have been sexual abuse, it may not have been. When it first came up about her lost memories, I assumed that some kind of traumatic event happened but sexual abuse wasn't my first thought. I assumed it was physical abuse and I assumed it was her father that had done it. I thought maybe he used to beat on her and that her weight gain was a way to make herself bigger so she would seem more threatening to the person hurting her.Somewhere in the back of my mind, I still believe this.

There was a rapper named Big Punisher who was very famous. Big Pun must have weighed over 600lbs but when you look back at pictures of him as a younger man, he was very thin and fit. I can't remember if it was his father or stepfather but the man was very abusive toward him. He purposely gained hundreds of pounds so that his father or stepfather would be too afraid to hit him anymore. Unfortunately, Big Pun passed away because of obesity related issues. The more I think about Ruby, the more it reminds me of him. And myself a little, too. Whatever has happened to her, the only thing I truly wish is for Ruby to confront it, make peace with herself and let the weight go.

I think she can do it.

"You sound like a damn fool when you say it wrong!"



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5/9/11 8:28 A

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I just finished watching the new episode this morning. I think her Dad may be the one who abused her. Just watching her struggle to say how she felt was so hard to see. Rosie was so kind to her, telling her like it is in a real way. I also think that Jeff must be such a kind and wonderful person to support and love Ruby. I hope she takes to heart everything Rosie talked to her about life, love and her weight. I couldn't help but break down in tears in the end. I hope they keep this show on the air!

KATHYJO56's Photo KATHYJO56 Posts: 186,969
5/9/11 5:46 A

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This was my favorite episode of all time and I hope it isn't the last. I was so happy to see what a good friend Rosie O'Donnel is to Ruby. She really talked to her from the heart and gave her some good advice. I also believe that Ruby needs to stop thinking of Denny as a potential husband. I don't believe that he is the right person for her. I think that she clings to him because she thinks there will never be anybody else. Rosie was so right, there is somebody out there for her and she really doesn't have to be thin to find the right man. The right man will love her for who she is. I don't think that Ruby will ever reveal to us who her abuser was, because she said to Rose, "Even when it is somebody you love." Oh, how I understood her. I cried so much during this show.

KATHYJO56
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EILEEN828's Photo EILEEN828 Posts: 709
5/9/11 2:46 A

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Well it was a true recap of the season type of a show. Rosie was a good friend to her. Jeff of course is a true friend (those are hard to come by). I think the show will come back. I wish I could figure out how far back in time the episodes are, and how far apart in time they are to each other. I think she gets a vacation from the show. So much can happen in the meantime. I hope she figures out that being a healthy normal weight for her is such a gift to herself. She will be so much happier when she finally gets to blend in to the crowd. No one enjoys being the target of everyone's idle questions and speculations. It's like being the one fish in the school that is the wrong color, or wiggles funny. I want to see Ruby succeed in accepting herself and continue to work on herself 'til she reaches her goals.

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MINDYJ1's Photo MINDYJ1 SparkPoints: (344,066)
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5/9/11 12:10 A

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For some reason I am getting the feeling that it isn't coming back on. Or there is a possibility it isn't coming back on. Am I the only one that got that impression? I also sometimes think that maybe it was her dad. I think that is why she is really afraid to let herself admit it. And yes I agree, Jeff is a doll!

Edited by: MINDYJ1 at: 5/9/2011 (00:12)
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JULIEMAX's Photo JULIEMAX Posts: 244
5/8/11 11:25 P

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I loved this show! MY favorite of the season, also. I got the impression that Ruby did know what happened to her from the last show with Paula and just didnt want to say on camera.
Good luck to her and I like the rest of you hope the next season comes soon.
emoticon

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PUGRAD1995's Photo PUGRAD1995 Posts: 4,735
5/8/11 9:44 P

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I think Paula is making assumptions like Rosie and everyone else is and that's why she gave her the book.

I hope Ruby does figure it out-but she may never know for sure. But she needs to learn how to live with it.

I hope the next season doesn't take as long as this year's!

Diana
TLKR 8/16/2010
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Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day, saying, "I will try again tomorrow." - Mary Anne Radmacher

When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, 'Try it one more time.'


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LITTLE_QUEEN's Photo LITTLE_QUEEN Posts: 41,421
5/8/11 9:03 P

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I have to say that this episode is my favorite of the season, Debbie I think Jeff has always been a real cutie.

I also want to say Ruby:
Yes, I think so too! Breathe Ruby Breathe!

Coleader of Rootin For Ruby, And proud to be a Ruby Lite

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=27277

PLEASE EXCUSE THE CAPS AND MISTAKES AS I HAVE VISION ISSUES
THANK YOU



"To be a winner, all you have to give is all you have." -Unknown



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HEALTHYHAPPYDEB's Photo HEALTHYHAPPYDEB Posts: 7,349
5/8/11 4:42 P

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I thought Rosie did a great job talking with Ruby too. After watching this episode I am somewhat confused. I thought that she told Paula what happened to her last week and that is why Paula gave her the book. I watched that part a few times last week and noticed that when she was sobbing she said to Paula "but I miss him so much". Add that to the title of the book and I thought she was talking about her dad. Now I have no idea. I have faith that Ruby will make it through. I appreciate her so much for doing this in the public eye. One final thought.....Jeff is a DOLL...I would think that after this show he would have women lined up to meet him.

LAINIESNEWLIFE's Photo LAINIESNEWLIFE Posts: 61,094
5/8/11 3:44 P

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I just finished watching the episode that recorded this morning. It was a pretty good episode. I thought Rosie did a great job talking to Ruby, but I won't say anything else for those of you who haven't see it yet.

*~ Lainie ~*
Georgia - EST

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." - Albert Schweitzer

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring; all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ~ Leo Buscaglia


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JULIEMAX's Photo JULIEMAX Posts: 244
5/8/11 10:39 A

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I taped the show this morning but havent had a chance to watch it. I know Rosie Odonnell is
on the show.


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EILEEN828's Photo EILEEN828 Posts: 709
5/8/11 4:39 A

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Ruby could have been hurt by any family member or close family friend. She may not have been abused sexually. So far people are only guessing about what seems likely. It could even be about her somehow causing someone pain or death. That would definitely cause guilt also. We are all just going to have to wait and see. I still have full confidence that she is going to get around this setback period. She's got everything to gain by doing so, and bedsides weight loss rarely takes a straight path. She'll do it, she's too alive and rambunctious not too. Go Ruby! emoticon

Edited by: EILEEN828 at: 5/8/2011 (04:41)
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HPEFUL25 Posts: 186
5/8/11 1:08 A

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I, too, thought that what happened to Ruby was by the brother. This is my first season of Ruby and honestly, I thought that there would be more inspiring moments than there have been. I agree that she should get to the bottom of what is causing the weight issue, but I also wanted her to do accomplish more of her dreams. Hopefully, now that she has determined what caused her to gain so much weight, Ruby can get back on the right track and accomplish her dreams.

P.S. I hope Jeff and Georgia get together. They just look so cute together!

"Live your life in a way that others will want to live as you do."


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LAINIESNEWLIFE's Photo LAINIESNEWLIFE Posts: 61,094
5/6/11 5:31 P

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I was thinking the same thing, Lori.

*~ Lainie ~*
Georgia - EST

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." - Albert Schweitzer

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring; all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ~ Leo Buscaglia


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LITTLE_QUEEN's Photo LITTLE_QUEEN Posts: 41,421
5/6/11 2:37 P

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First of all I can't believe the season is going to be over all ready I mean it just started in March!

I too am hoping that she will say what happened as we have been following her all this time and we stand behind her all the way and I too believe that it could help others.

That being said, my opinion only and this is only a guess, I think maybe her brother did something to her, not intentionally as he is a special needs person, but because of that she may not want to say anything.

Coleader of Rootin For Ruby, And proud to be a Ruby Lite

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=27277

PLEASE EXCUSE THE CAPS AND MISTAKES AS I HAVE VISION ISSUES
THANK YOU



"To be a winner, all you have to give is all you have." -Unknown



Hot on the presses today - little queen

Making your passion play - little queen

Nobody knows your melancholy mind -

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SIMPLYABUNDANT's Photo SIMPLYABUNDANT Posts: 5,609
5/6/11 9:20 A

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I realize Ruby has no obligation to EVER tell her TV audience about what happened in her childhood that she blocked out/remembered, but at the same time, I hope she does. I'm a little confused ~ I don't want to make assumptions either ~ but the book Paula gave her is very specifically for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. IF that's the case, think of the service Ruby could be doing for her viewers who might have experienced something similar by bringing this topic and its relationship to weight issues out in the light. Of course, I do maintain that Ruby's first, and really only, obligation is to Ruby. I hope her show continues so we can celebrate with her when she reaches her weight goal (and beyond!)

Sue in NC
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JOYEOUSD's Photo JOYEOUSD Posts: 3,004
5/5/11 2:56 P

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So the mystery continues...I sure hope the show stays on...I want to see her progress!

Joye
DETERMINATION=FOCUS=PERSISTENCE=CONSIS
TENCE=SUCCESS!!!

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Remember: If nothing changes, NOTHING CHANGES!!

If you are tired of starting over, STOP GIVING UP!

FOCUS on the path---one decision at a time.


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SHAGADELIC's Photo SHAGADELIC Posts: 1,403
5/5/11 10:45 A

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After reading that, I realize that she's right. I shouldn't make assumptions because she never actually said it and does not accept that it may have happened to her. Maybe it didn't. Perhaps everyone is just assuming that's what hiding inside there and it may not even be true.

"You sound like a damn fool when you say it wrong!"



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LAINIESNEWLIFE's Photo LAINIESNEWLIFE Posts: 61,094
5/5/11 10:44 A

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I'm really curious now. So I wonder what traumatic event took place for her to lose her childhood memories. There has to be something.

*~ Lainie ~*
Georgia - EST

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." - Albert Schweitzer

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring; all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ~ Leo Buscaglia


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LITTLE_QUEEN's Photo LITTLE_QUEEN Posts: 41,421
5/5/11 12:30 A

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This is from Ruby herself:

I will be blogging after the show Sunday night! Make sure 2 post and tell everyone 2 watch! We all r changing the world...
Before making any assumptions about what happened to me make sure to tune in this Sunday night at *8PM* on Style Network FOR THIS SEASONS FINALE. I NEVER SAID OUT OF MY MOUTH I WAS SEXUALLY or VERBALLY ABUSED OR IF I REMEMBERED ANYTHING! I LOVE ALL OF YOU FOR CARING ABOUT ME SO MUCH! .....

Coleader of Rootin For Ruby, And proud to be a Ruby Lite

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=27277

PLEASE EXCUSE THE CAPS AND MISTAKES AS I HAVE VISION ISSUES
THANK YOU



"To be a winner, all you have to give is all you have." -Unknown



Hot on the presses today - little queen

Making your passion play - little queen

Nobody knows your melancholy mind -

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SHAGADELIC's Photo SHAGADELIC Posts: 1,403
5/3/11 12:47 P

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I was surprised to see the promos for next week in which Ruby says she does not believe she was sexually abused. I've read the Courage to Heal and that's all about sexual abuse. Also, something Rosie said in the promos struck me too. She said to Ruby (paraphrasing here--don't remember what she said verbatim), "You'll never have enough proof but the evidence is overwhelming."

That made me think of myself and made me realize how deep in denial I was about what happened to me and the real reasons why I clung so tightly to the weight, and why I still cling. Part of me feels like I'm urging Ruby on for my own selfish reasons. I want to see her lose the weight and be okay with herself so I can have permission to be okay with myself. If that makes any sense. Unlike Ruby, I remember what happened to me very vividly and I have accepted it, but a part of me still isn't sure it's completely safe to embrace my sexuality. There was something else I heard in the promo that Rosie O'Donnell said regarding the weight and it's ability to keep sex away from Ruby. For me, it didn't entirely keep sex away because I am not a virgin, but it certainly limited the amount of sexual partners I had.

Normally, I would not encourage anyone to push an abuse victim to reveal something they aren't comfortable talking about yet. In Ruby's case, it is a matter of life and death. If she was in fact sexually abused and the weight has been her barrier and protection, intervention is necessary for her health. The more weight she loses, the scarier things are going to get for her. She NEEDS to admit it, stop running from it. I don't care if she never says it on camera. As long as she admits it to herself!

"You sound like a damn fool when you say it wrong!"



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5/3/11 1:18 A

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Good episode! Very touching... I think something clicked in Ruby and she's got the spark! Next week she's going to be in NY on Rosie O'Donnell's radio show... I also think the book that Paula gave Ruby, "The Courage to Heal Workbook" will be a big help to Ruby with her childhood sexual abuse issues... even though it wasn't specifically mentioned, I think it can be inferred... g'nite all... Have a great week.... riva rivaderchi

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KATHYJO56's Photo KATHYJO56 Posts: 186,969
5/2/11 3:54 P

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Last nights episode is really staying with me. I am so very happy that Paula White helped Ruby to finally get the breakthrough that she needed so badly. I remember when I had mine, and I just sat and cried for her. I really think that she is going to get to her goal now. I have been wondering about her all season and last night at the end of the show was the happiest that I have seen her. I was also happy to see her go to her fathers' grave with her family. That was also something that she needed to do and she needed that special talk with her Mother.
As far as Denny is concerned, I hope that he sticks by Ruby, but I'm still not absolutely certain about him as the right man for her. He still has to proove himself to me.

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TEALADY0531's Photo TEALADY0531 Posts: 1,117
5/2/11 2:14 P

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Last night's episode really changed my attitude toward Denney - I'll be the first to admit I was wrong. Him losing a father and brother to obesity related death sheds a whole new light on his attitudes. And he told her he loved her; and got down on his knee and asked her to finish this process.

Ruby made a huge breakthrough in this episode, accepting all of herself, IMO. I don't think you can fully commit to the process of saving your own life, while hating the child inside, and feeling all that guilt and responsibility for what's happened in the past. Even when she couldn't remember it, she felt the guilt, and took all the responsibility and anger for it on herself. It's not clear from last night if she fully remembers it still, or is just starting to.

I know my best friend from childhood - who is like a sister to me - still calls me out on being the "Guilt Queen", and accepting responsibility for things that aren't mine to accept. Old habits die hard!!!!!

~Midgie~

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MSYATES04's Photo MSYATES04 Posts: 2,476
5/2/11 12:22 P

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In last nights episode, Paula mentioned the words sexually abused, did Ruby confess to this
I thought I heard Ruby say something about not on camera, I couldn't really hear through her crying.

you must FOCUS = (F)ollow (O)ne (C)ourse (U)ntil (S)uccessful! Ready set GO!


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LAINIESNEWLIFE's Photo LAINIESNEWLIFE Posts: 61,094
5/2/11 11:30 A

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This was a very good episode. I was so proud of Ruby for playing softball for the Boys and Girls Club of America. She didn't think she could run, but she tried anyway and did great. She wasn't very fast, but that doesn't matter. It's just that she went out and did it. Good for her.

I was also proud of her for talking to her mom and sharing her letter with her. I hope that she continues to talk to her mom and I hope her mom finally opens up and talks to Ruby about what happened.

She came a long way with Paula White last night. Paula is really helping her a lot. I think it has to do with Paula's own background and what she endured. Ruby feels more comfortable with her.

According to a post she made on Facebook yesterday, there are only 2 more episodes left. There is also a petition on their to keep the Ruby show. So, I'm not sure if this means that they haven't picked up the Ruby show for another season or what. I didn't get a chance to read all about it.

*~ Lainie ~*
Georgia - EST

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." - Albert Schweitzer

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring; all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ~ Leo Buscaglia


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SHAGADELIC's Photo SHAGADELIC Posts: 1,403
5/2/11 9:42 A

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I haven't seen the entire episode yet but from what I did see, I was so proud of Ruby! She really wanted to breakthrough and I think she did last night. Always more work to be done, of course, but what an amazing step!

"You sound like a damn fool when you say it wrong!"



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SIMPLYABUNDANT's Photo SIMPLYABUNDANT Posts: 5,609
5/2/11 9:39 A

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Very powerful episode!

Sue in NC
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EILEEN828's Photo EILEEN828 Posts: 709
5/2/11 5:24 A

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Yea Ruby! That was so awesome, I'm so glad she's finally acknowledging the little girl inside, this is going to help her grow. And Denny loves Ruby.awww.

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SHAGADELIC's Photo SHAGADELIC Posts: 1,403
4/28/11 11:33 A

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I think, to a degree, this whole process is filled with lies and avoidance. Yeah, Ruby's not being honest, but doesn't that go with the territory? Don't we all lie to ourselves in these same ways when we "slip" or "fall off the wagon" or "cheat?" I know I do. I lie about my cheating habits when I am most embarrassed and ashamed of myself. Perhaps Ruby is in a deep pile of shame right now. I can see how sitting in the summit made her feel ashamed and defensive. Besides that, if she didn't KNOW what she was doing, would she have called that summit in the first place?

She's so close! She's very, very close and she is reaching out for what has given her comfort in scary times. Just as another posted said. I know I do that. In fact, I was just talking to my therapist about that a few weeks ago. I had a major breakthrough (thanks to Ruby) and even though I was exercising, I was eating poorly. Why? Because I realized that I am afraid of what life will be like as a thin person. I should actually say anxious and not afraid. I'm sure it's great but the anxiety is through the roof.

Also, I'm glad to see someone else who thinks Denny is a good friend to Ruby! He really tries to help her, even though I get how it's easy to see him in a negative light. Any time I've seen him on the show, he's always encouraging her to move, eat healthier, stay away from bad stuff. The last few times the focus has shifted back to their relationship but I think it's because Ruby has lingering issues with the whole thing. I still think he loves her very much and when they're not fighting about the past, they seem like great friends. I think Ruby has a lot of great friends. They do what they do because they love her and don't want to hurt her by pushing too hard. It's not logical but sometimes stuff just isn't.

I wonder if they too are afraid of what the change in Ruby's physical self will mean for their friendships and life as they know it. They are all standing on the brink of a totally new way of living life. For anybody--fat or skinny--that's scary!

"You sound like a damn fool when you say it wrong!"



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EILEEN828's Photo EILEEN828 Posts: 709
4/27/11 10:23 P

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I liked what you had to say Simplyabundant, it pretty much summed it up.
In retrospect I'm beginning to think that her eyes were opened during the Reiki session and she has kept it to herself. It's hard to look at so she is self medicating with her behavior. I see her pulling out all her old tricks to manipulate people.
She sweet talks them into being putty in her hands. I'm fragile, you have to take care of me, you're in this with me, support my decision to deceive my self, it's all on you if you don't do it my way, come on everybody let's all talk about me so that attention is deflected because I look like I'm trying when I'm not.
To what degree she is aware she is doing this I don't know, but she's been doing it for years and it's how she defines herself. It's been working great all along and so she needs to consciously stop herself when she recognizes this behavior.
I see Dr. Jane making maneuvers in this direction but I think she needs to step up the pressure by being more frank with her. Like everyone else, she been affected with the I'm a fragile person persona and has spent a long time building a rapport with her. I think she could be doing more since she is a professional and her friends of course should be following suit.
She needs to get persistent, firm pressure to admit all this, because in so doing she will finally be able to accept and understand her self , warts and halos and all. Right now Ruby is playing 'follow the bouncing ball' form of distractions and skips to person to person to person to remove pressure from herself.
I was glad to see upon further review of the episode of the party, that the one person who was "feeding'' Ruby was the friend the engagement party was for and not other people like Georgia, Denny or Jeff. Right now, she herself is making "it's ok to cheat" the environment to surround herself with, and rejects all indicators that point to this, like refusing to weigh, eating what she wants, refusing to exercise, forcing the focus on everyone else to come up with an answer.
Ruby is a big fat liar to herself, and while that's harsh thing to say about a person, it's the truth. She needs to take responsibility for herself like the adult she is. I know she's going to do this eventually, I hope she starts to see this soon. I want with all my heart for her to succeed because she deserves it. She is a unique, beautiful spirit and I admire her in so many ways.

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JOYEOUSD's Photo JOYEOUSD Posts: 3,004
4/27/11 6:20 P

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she was told she chas come as far as she can on her own and so she needs the 12 step program....doesn't seem like she believes it...like a typical addict!! I assume that is what she is going to do...how good would we do with all our food delivered to our house ready to eat, 2 personal trainers, a psychologist, a dietician and what ever else she has going for her...it just goes to show you you have to be ready in your own head. Nobody else can do anything for you if you are not ready. It is hard to get to that space whether you are an addict or not.
I think Denny is a great friend for her. She has her issues with him that he doesn't have with her. She was goading him in that store, picking a fight, he didn't do anything. Maybe since he apologized for and recognized that he hurt her, she can just be normal friends. He tells her the truth, the other 2 are more enabling and coddling..."ooooh let's not upset Ruby!" I think she will do the 12 steps, I think all 3 friends will start telling the truth to her and I think she is on the path to recovering. So interesting to see all this unfolding.

Joye
DETERMINATION=FOCUS=PERSISTENCE=CONSIS
TENCE=SUCCESS!!!

We don't want to have to say Being cremated is my last hope for a hot, smokin body!

Never trade what you want at the moment for what you want the most!

"Suffering is in the indecision"

Remember: If nothing changes, NOTHING CHANGES!!

If you are tired of starting over, STOP GIVING UP!

FOCUS on the path---one decision at a time.


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RUTHIEBEAR's Photo RUTHIEBEAR Posts: 40,644
4/26/11 1:10 P

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I am so glad (for Ruby) that she called a summit. But where is her obesity doctor - the one helping her stay on the right eating path? Where is her dietitian? Ever since RUby is not eating the prepackaged foods, she needs their help more than ever.
It seems like Ruby wants to get back on track, but her mind is not there yet. SHe has not made it a priority. That is why I agree she needs to try the 12 step program, or, like Dr Jane said, she will end up having to go into a "rehab" type center for help.
I realized that I am not a food addict while watching the show. My husband pointed it out to me.
I just love Ruby and I hope she gets to the root of her issues so she can find success on her journey.

Blessings,
Ruthie
A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.
-- Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne ruthiemade.aminus3.com/
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SIMPLYABUNDANT's Photo SIMPLYABUNDANT Posts: 5,609
4/26/11 12:12 P

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One of the reasons I think Ruby has been so resistant lately, and why she has regained some weight, is that she is so close to figuring out what those missing years held for her. Food/eating has become her addiction because that was what she has used to cope with the trauma, to numb herself, and keep those memories repressed. Without her food, what she is experiencing must seem pretty overwhelming to her. It doesn't surprise me that she is reaching for food more and more. I really think that when Ruby remembers and confronts her past, she will start to heal on a deeper level that she very much needs in order to continue her weight loss journey. She can diet and exercise and do everything "right," and definitely that will help her drop pounds, but until she faces her past and learns other ways of coping with pain, the diet and exercise are more like band-aids.

It seems to me that Ruby is having some real issues with truth lately ~ both the truth about her past that she doesn't know and the truth about her addictive behavior, which she is in denial about. One thing a 12-Step program might do for her is to call her on her denial and dishonesty (some of which I believe is just Ruby's way of clinging to her addiction). I think that's also one of the reasons she isn't gung-ho about going to a 12-Step program. She doesn't really even talk much about Tennie or the 6-day intensive, I think because it cut too close to the core of her she is still trying to protect.

This is hard, hard stuff, and my heart just goes out to Ruby. She is one brave woman to be doing this on television!

Edited by: SIMPLYABUNDANT at: 4/27/2011 (08:53)
Sue in NC
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"Not all those who wander are lost..."
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