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2/12/11 9:10 A

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FITLIL- I feel EXACTLY the same way! I've never been one of those people who oohed and ahhed over babies and children. But now that I am getting older, it scares me that I will grow old without any children...but I am still scared of having them too!

One thing an older friend of mine told me once...She had a child at a young age of about 19-20. Later in life at about 35 she had another child. She described it to me as appreciating the entire experience much more because she was older. In fact at the time I was in my mid twenties and she urged me to wait till I was older.

It certainly is a BIG decision!

“Being defeated is often temporary, giving up makes it permanent.”


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1DRWOMAN's Photo 1DRWOMAN Posts: 2,167
2/11/11 4:09 P

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Funny Stuff!!! I would have done the same thing!!! And usually I follow with...are you doing anything for animals? I give my money for animals! Awesome giggle!

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SARAHO228's Photo SARAHO228 Posts: 565
10/22/10 12:24 P

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Funny! Lol. I do like kids. Was and still am crazy about my niece who is 9 now. I don't think I'd have the guts to say something like that. lol. So far I'm liking being the cool aunt. My bro and his wife can have all the kids. I hope they have another one or 2.

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BEE797's Photo BEE797 Posts: 25
10/2/10 11:37 A

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That's hilarious. I've always wanted to say something like that :) ha ha
I get the kid talk from workmates a lot. They will all be sitting around talking about their young children (these people are all in their mid to late 20s) and turn to me and say "oh that's right, YOU don't even WANT any, do you. Really? Ever? Well, you'll change your mind when you have your own" - um, no, I won't and that's the whole point. I won't be having my own. they can't seem to get their minds around this. Oh well. That's why I can save money to trave abroad while they're stuck here catching a million colds from their pre-school age children. No thanks.
Giving ME the "she's crazy" look. Sheesh.

Edited by: BEE797 at: 10/2/2010 (11:38)
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AMADRID11's Photo AMADRID11 Posts: 30
9/7/10 4:33 P

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Hi! I'm new to this team and already love it! As far back as I can remember, I've always said "I do not want kids". My fiancee' and I both share the same feeling (thank god, otherwise I don't think it would work out) and people always questioning our decision. I don't know which bothers us more, kids or people judging us for not wanting them? It's not that we hate kids, we just prefer our lives as is. We can leave anytime we want and do anything we please. Everytime kids are bothering us or misbehaving, we suddenly become the world's best parents. "If that were my kid...." haha! To be perfectly honest, I'm a selfish person and do not want to be responsible for another human being (dogs are hard enough)not to mention actual child birth! I think the social norm is that we are expected to have children after we are married. When norms are not followed people wonder what is wrong with you. I'm happy being child free and nothing is wrong with me (well in this instance haha).
Kid free zone here!

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MSPRIS3's Photo MSPRIS3 Posts: 521
9/1/10 1:51 P

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We have two dogs we adore, that seems to be enough for us.

We just started talking about the whole kid thing, if it happens, it happens, but are we planning, NO.
It will have to be within the next 3 years (no after 35), I think we may be too stuck in our ways to venture into the parenthood thing, plus, what about my dogs, how will it effect them?

Right now, if we get frustrated or stressed out, we can put the dogs outside to get them out of our hair, I really don't think people would look too kindly on us if they saw our child tied to the tree out back.... emoticon

A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk. ~O.A. Battista

If your dog is fat, you are not getting enough exercise. ~Author Unknown


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SPARK_JO's Photo SPARK_JO Posts: 277
8/27/10 12:25 P

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Hey, I'm new in this team - even though I've know for a while I'd be childfree....

I don't hate kids. I actually like them. I just don't feel the need/desire to have kids myself. Period.

Why do we have to justified /not/ want to have kids and never the other way around?

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FAIRYKELLY13's Photo FAIRYKELLY13 SparkPoints: (0)
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8/24/10 2:56 P

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That cracks me up! It's like me and my husband walking out of the grocery store... There was someone there collecting donations and signatures for a children's drug support program (like DARE). My husband said, "I'm not going to support that! I don't think people should support children doing drugs! That's horrible." In a totally serious voice... The person didn't know what to say back! haha

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SCHILDRESS1 Posts: 88
7/13/10 9:40 A

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I have 4 stepkids, a dog and a husband. People think I'm crazy because I don't want any of my own. Um.. I have 6 already - I'm good thanks.

My 2 favorite about kid lines are (which are totally wrong and funny and a little true):
Kids ruin everything.
Mommy drinks cause you cry.

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CELTICSCORPION Posts: 7
7/11/10 9:54 A

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That's a funny story-made me laugh.

I don't mind kids, and I've always thought I would have them. Doesn't look like it will be in the cards for me.

The appeal of this group to me is being able to talk about activities that don't start with "I do this with the kids...". I want to be with people like me who have an actual and enjoyable life without being defined as a parent.

LDGALAXIE's Photo LDGALAXIE Posts: 12
7/7/10 3:53 P

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Just FYI - there are some kids that I do like, but not many!



LDGALAXIE's Photo LDGALAXIE Posts: 12
7/7/10 3:51 P

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Oh I hear ya!! Most kids I encounter are just terrible to be around and as much as people tell me that it's the parenting, I know that if I had kids, they'd be spending more time with these misbehaved children than with me.

Plus, I just adore sleep and time to myself so that if I don't feel like doing anything, I really don't have to. Isn't a dog enough?

GMARGARITA's Photo GMARGARITA SparkPoints: (0)
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7/5/10 6:07 P

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Just met a very pregnant woman in her early 20s who also used the p-word. She said if she didn't consume enough nutrients the baby would leach them from her muscles and bones! No thank you!

Gretchen


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PIXAL13 Posts: 26
7/1/10 9:47 A

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That's a very funny story... I love it!

GMARGARITA's Photo GMARGARITA SparkPoints: (0)
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6/26/10 10:44 A

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That's hilarious! My friend who just got married half expected us to have kids together so they'd be raised together. I'm a) too young, b) love my dogs and cats way too much to subject them to that, and c) don't want to spend the money on parasites. I see people with kids and they seem to dumb themselves down when engaging with their offspring. Why? I guess I, a woman of "child-bearing age," just don't have the reverence or respect our dominant culture expects me to have.

The Vegan Belly Dancer,

GMargarita

Editor's Note: My boyfriend thinks that the word "parasite" is pretty harsh. I would like the record to show that I meant specifically the 9-month incubation period in which the baby would take of my nutrients, blood, and energy; and that whole part where I would have to pay for everything.

Edited by: GMARGARITA at: 6/26/2010 (11:26)
Gretchen


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MISSKIMRED Posts: 1
5/24/10 7:10 P

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New here and loved to find this thread! I'm 32, married, and have never had a desire to have children. I love my life the way it is. I have a cat and dog, my husband and I go out when we want and have fun. I can't ever see my life revolving around a child.

When people ask they always say, oh well you're still young. I tell them I don't want kids and they act like I just told them I killed my family or something. Some of us were just never meant to have children. Some of those people have them anyway and shouldn't! At least I know the difference.

JEEPERSCA's Photo JEEPERSCA Posts: 171
3/23/10 4:49 P

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I have an aunt in her 60's that never had kids, and she's a permanent facet in her sister's family... not all families are set up that way, I suppose, but you don't have to have your own to be a part of one.

You can have a ton of kids and still grow old alone. You can never have kids and surround yourself with friends/family anyway.

I felt that pressure to have kids, too, but like many things in the mainstream, I realized it wasn't the right goal for me.

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ELSBRAUN SparkPoints: (0)
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12/1/09 3:02 P

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I am right with you Fitlil! I hate the vision of a future where there is no one to visit me in the old folks home, but I also don't feel this burning desire to have one any time soon - and a lot of my friends from high school had them in their early 20s and will be done with them by the time I get around to thinking about having any! I am thinking there are enough little ones in need of a good home that I can buy some time by not having a baby and starting with a three year old!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.


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FITLIL's Photo FITLIL Posts: 6
10/15/09 9:58 P

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It's not that I hate them. I think they're cute and lovely BUT when I see my friends (now on their 30's just starting to have children) I feel exhausted for them. Is there really more joy than frustration and exhaustion in having kids?

I really want to know because I'm reaching the point now where I have to make a decision about having any and I feel clueless. If I look at the big picture (me, old, dying alone, living with cats, without a family) I don't like it but if I look at the alternative it scares the crap out of me. I just don't have that burning desire to have a baby, can I really do it without it?

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EBABEE Posts: 1
7/29/09 11:19 A

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Oh JEEPERSCA,
I can tell I love you already. You must be a pretty confident woman to venture into that territory. I love it. When I was in my late teens and early twenties I didn't like children now I love them. God has changed my heart.

JEEPERSCA's Photo JEEPERSCA Posts: 171
7/10/09 6:37 P

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Nyx, your signature caught me off guard. That's a long time to have been keeping track!

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NYXWOLFWALKER's Photo NYXWOLFWALKER SparkPoints: (169,439)
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7/10/09 1:52 P

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Chuckles, good one

I had one of the local charrity groups start their speal similor item to do with children, and I just cut her off by saying I "can't stand the little buggers" it also got a shocked open mouthed responce.

But that lady that said she had three and didn't like them either, now that is funny!

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JEEPERSCA's Photo JEEPERSCA Posts: 171
7/9/09 12:58 P

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I have (what I thought was) a funny story about kids.

My husband and I went to the gym last night. I smiled at the man working the reception desk as he swiped my card under the reader. On the counter were these star cut pamphlet things. He points one out and says "would you like to help support the building of a park for the children..."

And I matter-of-factly said, "Oh, I hate children, no thank you."

He was so caught off balance for the speech he was prepared to give me, it was hillarious. The woman standing beside me had this look of shocked disbelief that turned into a smile and she said "me too, and I have three!"

We all had a good laugh, my husband shaking his head and muttering about not being able to take me anywhere...

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