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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
10/2/09 12:46 P

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Fresh out of high school, I found a job cleaning the elegant home of an older couple. Among other duties, I had to dust their many imported carvings and petrified collectibles, as well as pick up after their pets.

One day, I was astonished to find two ivory fossils lying on the floor beside the bookcase. I quickly picked them up, and put them back on the shelf. The next week, the same thing happened.

That afternoon, my employer came into the parlor, her faithful dog behind her. Looking around, she eyed the bookcase. "Nya," she asked the dog, "how in the world do you keep getting your bones up there?"

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
8/26/09 11:23 P

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LOL emoticon

Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



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CANDYM4's Photo CANDYM4 SparkPoints: (0)
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8/26/09 10:05 P

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One Sunday morning a small boy said to his pastor, "When I grow up I'm going to give you some money."

"Well, thank you," his pastor said. "But why?"

"Because my daddy said you're the poorest preacher we ever had."


I am not alone God is with me in this and all endeavors I take.

I live in Topeka, KS.

My NASCAR driver is Dale Jr., his number is 88.


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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
8/26/09 12:33 A

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I did too when I first read it. A friend of mine sent it to me.

Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



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CANDYM4's Photo CANDYM4 SparkPoints: (0)
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8/25/09 10:08 P

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Angelbeliver that was so cute, I laughed so hard that I cried.
Candy

I am not alone God is with me in this and all endeavors I take.

I live in Topeka, KS.

My NASCAR driver is Dale Jr., his number is 88.


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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
8/24/09 11:40 P

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You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know.. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............

Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
8/24/09 2:27 P

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Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on my father's young peach tree for two years in a row. This spring, Dad was ready. He replanted the sapling in a large box, mounted it on wheels, and put the tree in the garage whenever the temperature dropped.

One warm April day, Dad was wheeling the tree out into the yard, and he stopped to give our dog a drink from the garden hose. A neighbor watched the scene with amusement. "Frank," he finally commented, "you're the only man I know who walks his tree and waters his dog!"

Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



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8/7/09 11:21 A

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When Funny Face is eing held he looks just like a baby, just don't get close to me or you will find out that baby is a wild thing. He looks so cute and you would think that you can pat him all you want to. The joke is he is an attack cat when it comes to me. He will not let anybody get close to me, if he thinks they are going to hurt me.
Candy

I am not alone God is with me in this and all endeavors I take.

I live in Topeka, KS.

My NASCAR driver is Dale Jr., his number is 88.


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MISSTMNOLLAN1's Photo MISSTMNOLLAN1 SparkPoints: (0)
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8/5/09 10:39 A

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I get a kick out of how my dog lifts his leg when he urinates. His left back leg half up. Cracks me up just watching him do that. Our dogs do bring us joy, even in the little things.

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7/31/09 11:36 P

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That happened in my house also the baby ate the dog food and the dog got a hold of the pacifier. We all laughed at the picture.
Candy

I am not alone God is with me in this and all endeavors I take.

I live in Topeka, KS.

My NASCAR driver is Dale Jr., his number is 88.


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TEXASLYNN's Photo TEXASLYNN Posts: 4,004
7/29/09 11:59 A

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You know the dog and the baby are bonding when you find the kid snacking on kibble while the dog chews on the pacifier. Yep, it's happened.

Jesus Christ is Lord!

Make your words sweet; you may have to eat them!

No More Homeless Pets

On the Eighth Day God Created Texas

Stamp Out Puppy Mills


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JEWITCH's Photo JEWITCH Posts: 19,806
7/22/09 6:18 P

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It always amazes me how our pets seem to understand what we are saying and how much joy and laughter they bring into our lives.



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CD4536795 Posts: 341
7/22/09 4:24 P

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The other day I told my puppy Jay (half yorkie, half boston terrier)that I had to go and he sat there, looked up at me and ran and jumped on my lap and then laid his head on my chest. It was so cute it made me laugh!

CD4273046 Posts: 1,317
7/17/09 12:26 P

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7/13/09 8:25 P

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good one
Candy

I am not alone God is with me in this and all endeavors I take.

I live in Topeka, KS.

My NASCAR driver is Dale Jr., his number is 88.


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JEWITCH's Photo JEWITCH Posts: 19,806
7/13/09 3:20 P

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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
7/13/09 2:57 P

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A lady had been exposed to strep and needed to visit the doctor's office just to have her throat swabbed for a culture. She sat in the waiting room for quite a while with her legs crossed, reading a magazine while other patients came and went. Suddenly her turn was called, but when she stood up to go in, she discovered her leg was "asleep". Not wanting to keep the nurse waiting, she limped and staggered toward the inner office door. She noticed one elderly lady nudging another who sat beside her, as the two of them sympathetically watched her painful progress .

Two minutes later, her procedure completed and her leg back to normal, she walked easily back into the waiting room. As she strode past the two elderly ladies, she overheard one whisper triumphantly to the other, "See, Myrtle, I TOLD you he was a wonderful doctor!"


Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



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LORA316K SparkPoints: (0)
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7/4/09 4:11 P

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This is the video of cat who doesn't want to wake up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XU2EtLHVo
iI

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7/2/09 10:30 P

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That was cute.
Candy

I am not alone God is with me in this and all endeavors I take.

I live in Topeka, KS.

My NASCAR driver is Dale Jr., his number is 88.


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CD5091257 SparkPoints: (0)
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7/2/09 6:57 P

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I have attached a link of our Newfoundland dogs trying to get ice out of the fridge. It does have sound. I hope you like it.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXB9Tl4xv6w

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6/29/09 11:22 P

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liked the Q and A on ageing
Candy

I am not alone God is with me in this and all endeavors I take.

I live in Topeka, KS.

My NASCAR driver is Dale Jr., his number is 88.


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DARLENEFINLEY's Photo DARLENEFINLEY Posts: 1,083
6/29/09 9:11 A

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Thanks for the laughs!

Darlene


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6/29/09 5:32 A

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I am sorry that I have not been on the boards. I got a little down and needed to take time for myself. Also the landlord wanted me to rearrange the apartment and get the uncompleted projects done. I am not going to read all the back posts, just starting as if a new person on SPARKS.
Candy

I am not alone God is with me in this and all endeavors I take.

I live in Topeka, KS.

My NASCAR driver is Dale Jr., his number is 88.


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JEWITCH's Photo JEWITCH Posts: 19,806
6/27/09 1:39 P

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Love it. lol



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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
6/27/09 11:16 A

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From the American Association Of Retired People

Questions and Answers from AARP Forum

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?

A:Try a bookstore under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through
menopause?

A:Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll have a place to live.

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?

A:Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?

A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?

A:Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem,Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A:Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q:Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?

A: On their foreheads.

Q:What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?

A:"Gosh, I remember these!"
SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor, RIGHT?


Edited by: SENIORSAXLADY at: 6/29/2009 (16:15)
Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



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SHIRDEE26 Posts: 164
6/23/09 12:02 P

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emoticon Thanks for the laughs.

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JEWITCH's Photo JEWITCH Posts: 19,806
6/21/09 10:52 P

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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
6/21/09 2:35 P

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PRIORITIES

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship
Holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said,
"Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward
But did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady.
"I need both my hands to hold onto this hat."

"But madam, you must know that you are
Not wearing any panties and everything is exposed!"
Said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied,
"Sir, anything you see down there
Is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

Edited by: SENIORSAXLADY at: 6/21/2009 (14:36)
Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
6/19/09 12:30 P

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TODAY'S CLEAN LAUGH

*Ride To Church*

A teenager who had just received her learner's permit offered to drive her parents to church. After a hair-raising ride, they finally reached their destination.

The mother got out of the car and said, "Thank you!"

"Anytime," her daughter replied.

As the woman slammed the door, she said, "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to God."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*

Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
6/17/09 8:31 A

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*Lawyer Son*

When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her Ability to answer the questions asked of prospective jurors.

As a young attorney, I had filled her in on what to expect.

Asked about the occupations of family members, Mom answered, "My son is a lawyer."

As a follow-up, she was asked if she had ever used the services of an attorney.

"Only to mow my lawn."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



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JEWITCH's Photo JEWITCH Posts: 19,806
6/16/09 8:37 P

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Thanks that is cute.



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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
6/16/09 2:08 P

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TODAY'S CLEAN LAUGH

*4 Year Ceiling*

A young woman, pursuing a graduate degree in art history, was going to Italy to study the country's greatest works of art. Since there was no one to look after her grandmother while she was away, she took the old lady with her. At the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican, she pointed to the painting on the ceiling.

"Grandma, it took Michelangelo a full four years to get that ceiling painted."

"Oh my, "the grandmother says. "He and I must have the same landlord."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



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JEWITCH's Photo JEWITCH Posts: 19,806
6/14/09 5:08 P

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It works for me too. Only if it was just that easy.

emoticon



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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
6/14/09 2:52 P

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HOW TO CLEAN THE HOUSE


1. Open a new file in your computer.

2. Name it 'Housework.'

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN.

4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN.

5. Your computer will ask you:
'Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?'

6. Calmly answer: 'Yes' and press mouse button firmly ...


7. Feel better? ? ?????????????????

Works for me!

Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



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JEWITCH's Photo JEWITCH Posts: 19,806
6/12/09 11:07 P

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DIVINESIN's Photo DIVINESIN SparkPoints: (500)
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6/12/09 6:20 P

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Oh this was sooooo funny, thanx for sharing it, hahaha :D
emoticon

~*Spread Peace and Love Always*~
♥Leah♥

Beautiful Art, Gifts and More~ www.zazzle.com/midnightdreamer

*There is so much love inside, reach in and grab it and live your life to the fullest!*

My Redbubble Portfolio~ www.redbubble.com/people/midnightdre
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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
6/12/09 1:29 P

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Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly
Jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love... I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry..
How soon can I go home?'


Happy Mental Health Day!


Edited by: SENIORSAXLADY at: 6/12/2009 (13:31)
Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



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JEWITCH's Photo JEWITCH Posts: 19,806
6/11/09 4:28 P

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That's so cute. lol



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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
6/11/09 4:25 P

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TWO BROTHERS

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man continued, "do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike.
Right now, he can't do either."
emoticon

Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



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JEWITCH's Photo JEWITCH Posts: 19,806
6/9/09 1:00 P

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That is cute, thanks for sharing.




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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
6/9/09 11:42 A

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Masquerade of Innocence

A woman was working one night in a Honeybaked Ham store. The store was equipped with security cameras, and she was watching the small, black-and-white monitors when she saw a woman come in the store, walk down the handicapped ramp, and go between two shelves. To the clerk's amazement, this woman grabbed a ham off the shelf and stuffed it up her dress. With the ham wedged between her thighs, the woman waddled toward the door.

The clerk was stunned and wondered what she should do. Should she yell out? Follow the woman?

Just then, the ham dropped out from between the woman's legs. It hit the metal handicapped ramp with a loud bang, and then rolled and clanged to the bottom.

The thief didn't miss a beat. She quickly turned her head and yelled out, "Who threw that ham at me? Who threw that ham at me?" Then she ran out of the store.

—Kevin A. Miller, vice president, Christianity Today International

Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
6/8/09 2:19 P

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emoticon I absolutely loved that one. Thanks!

June 8

TODAY'S CLEAN LAUGH

*Cat Sitting*

One night while I was cat-sitting my daughter's indoor feline, it escaped outside. When it failed to return the following morning, I found the beast clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down, I called the fire department.

"We don't do that anymore," the woman dispatcher said. When I persisted, she was polite but firm. "The cat will come down when it gets hungry enough."

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?" she said.

Two hours later the cat was back, looking for breakfast.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh




Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



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SUNSHINE-TIGE's Photo SUNSHINE-TIGE Posts: 133
6/8/09 2:15 P

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A little long, but funny!

Dogs vs. Cats

The diary of a dog vs the diary of a cat...good stuff!!

DOG DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.

I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Idiots.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this tomorrow at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe...at least for now.


"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall." Confucius


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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
6/5/09 1:40 P

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TODAY'S CLEAN LAUGH

*Stockbroker's Secretary*

The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning.

"I'm sorry," she said, "Mr. Bradford's on another line."

"This is Mr. Ingram's office," the caller said. "We'd like to know if he's bullish or bearish right now."

"He's talking to his wife," the secretary replied. "Right now I'd say he's sheepish."

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



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JEWITCH's Photo JEWITCH Posts: 19,806
6/4/09 10:14 P

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This good and so true. lol



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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
6/4/09 1:15 P

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June 4

I just know this will be me.someday!
This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors, to all of you who know seniors,
and to all of you who will become seniors. It pays to be able to laugh about it
when you are!


"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.

"Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY".

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, "Well, so that's why no one was at church today." emoticon

Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



 current weight: 125.6 
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TEXASLYNN's Photo TEXASLYNN Posts: 4,004
6/2/09 11:06 P

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We lock our double-gate on the side lot as it opens next to our office building. This reminds me of my dear mother's bad habit of leaving the keys either in the gate lock or the door lock - the main reason why all the computers are now in the house. LOL

Jesus Christ is Lord!

Make your words sweet; you may have to eat them!

No More Homeless Pets

On the Eighth Day God Created Texas

Stamp Out Puppy Mills


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JEWITCH's Photo JEWITCH Posts: 19,806
6/2/09 8:52 P

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SO, true but so funny. Thanks for sharing.



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SENIORSAXLADY's Photo SENIORSAXLADY Posts: 42,418
6/2/09 2:02 P

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*Suspicious Delivery*

There was an unexpected knock on my door, and like I always do I first opened the peephole and asked, "Who's there?"

"Parcel post, ma'am. I have a package that needs a signature."

"Where's the package?" I asked suspiciously. The deliveryman held it up.

"Could I see some ID?" I said, still not convinced.

"Lady," he replied wearily, "if I wanted to break into your house, I'd probably just use these." And he pulled out the keys I had left in the door.

*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh

Elayne from the West coast of Fl.

"Music is the original mood-altering, non-fattening wonder drug. Ask your doctor if Music is right for you."



 current weight: 125.6 
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137.5
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JEWITCH's Photo JEWITCH Posts: 19,806
5/31/09 5:10 P

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I like those laws they are so true.



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