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2/18/09 7:18 P

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I am so sorry for all that you have been going through!

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2/11/09 10:31 P

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Right..... I'm crying for you right now, not that you need that but because I feel for you.

Here I am with my healthy son and what you've gone through, oh my heart aches for you.

All I can offer is my love and hopes in the future like you said, it will come the time to be mommy!

Thinking of YOU & your hubby!


2/11/09 4:55 P

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Josie-- You are in my thoughts and prayers. Words can't decribe the emotions right now. I am here whenever you need to talk or rant. DOn't worry about us right now. You take the time YOU and your husband need. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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~JOSEY~'s Photo ~JOSEY~ Posts: 453
2/10/09 5:59 P

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hello ladies!

first off, i have to apologize profusely!!! i am so sorry i fell off the face of sparkpeople!! tina and kris--thank you SO MUCH for wondering where in the heck i've been!

but i have a good reason...

shortly after we bought the house, moved, then traveled off and on for a few weeks for the holidays i started working part time outside the house! so that's been fun. (more on that later.) so well, not only did that change my tons-of-free time schedule...but shortly after THAT (mid-january)--i found out i was pregnant! emoticon

however, last monday i found out it was a tubal pregnancy. so, of course i lost the baby. emoticon this is why i havent been around, because for the last month it has been a superdooper emotional (and physically painful) rollercoaster! and last week and the week before were actually going through the miscarriage (period/endo pains times 10!!), tons of drs appts, blood draws, a methotrexate injection...all that fun stuff. fortunately my most recent blood tests shows my hormone levels back to normal, and i have been fortunate to not have to have surgery!

but ya know, despite the loss and grieving, i am so happy. i feel contented and blessed. i am happy i CAN get pregnant!! i was so shocked and still am i a bit of a state of disbelief because i was beginning to resign myself to the fact that i was infertile. and feeling pregnant for that week or so was such a miracle--such a crazy and amazing feeling! the second week (i was about 6 weeks along) i started bleeding and cramping, and suspected a miscarriage (this was before i found out about the tubal), i talked to the baby, whether or not it was still with us, and i felt a peace. it knows it was loved and i know its soul is in heaven. i know that God had a reason for all this. i already know that one of them was to change me forever!

and ken (my hubby) has been absolutely a saint throughout the whole thing--it has certainly brought us closer together and helped us learn to dig deep for strength when things are tough and out of our control. i just know there's a higher plan and while i do mourn the loss of the future i was hoping for this baby, i am filled with hope that another healthy, happy one is yet to come!! and now we have another chance to get a little healthier and prepare in other ways for a new addition to the family. emoticon


so! that's my story. i do sincerely apologize that this group has been stagnant pretty much from the day i started it! what crazy timing. i had no clue we'd be buying a house...then the miscarriage...crazy!

i still want this group to thrive and grow and be a blessing and encouragement to all of us, so i'm glad you are all still here! i plan on gathering my thoughts soon (sometime in February) and getting us back on, rather, just ON a track! haha!!

i hope you all are happy and healthy. thank you so much for your concern and i will check back within the next few weeks emoticon

talk to you soon!!!
~josey~ emoticon

Edited by: ~JOSEY~ at: 2/10/2009 (18:31)
do you have endometriosis? check out my new spark group at

my blog:

eat from the earth...breathe in the in moderation...
cultivate kindness...all one day at a time.

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