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MDK.360's Photo MDK.360 Posts: 1,283
1/22/09 1:19 P

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I don't think its terrible to say :) Its important to have friendship but its also important to have boundaries and say to your self "this is hurting and it needs to stop" and walk away.

Don't Give Up!

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IAMATEACHER's Photo IAMATEACHER Posts: 526
1/22/09 1:12 P

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I'm sending you peace and support. Friends can be the best things and worst things in life. It is terrible to say, but with friendship you let your guard down and it hurts worse to be hurt. Take care and good luck!

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MDK.360's Photo MDK.360 Posts: 1,283
1/22/09 11:51 A

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My boyfriend is in a band too. My oh my they have their politics. I'd say that perhaps its time for your husband to move on to another group of people. If they are not going to appreciate him, his creative drive wont be satisfied anyways. I am not one to keep my thoughts to myself, which does tend to ruffle feathers, but what can you do. I'm also not rude about it you know. I always tell myself ahead of time, if I am going to say what Im thinking, then I'd better not let what ever anyone says back get to me. Also, you can shrink them a little if you want. My psychiatry class taught me that if you turn the problem around so you say "I felt" or "he is" (husband) and not propose anything that the singer is doing, that leaves you looking strong and stable and them looking like behinds and feeling guilty :) They suggest this is the healthy way to talk about problems because it forces the trouble maker to look at what they are doing and not get defensive... its hard to say "I feel" though so... Im sending you moxy. good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Edited by: MDK.360 at: 1/22/2009 (11:55)
Don't Give Up!

Team Leader for Pomeranian Pals
http://teams.sparkpeople.com/pomerania npals.com

Co Leader for Multiple Chemical Sensitivity
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MYLUVWYATT's Photo MYLUVWYATT Posts: 1,461
1/22/09 11:35 A

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I apologize in advance but I have to vent about this.......

Hubby has been in a band since I can remember, well the last 11 years we've been together.

This Sat., they have a gig and hubby said it's going to be his last.

Why?, not because he's sick of it or doesn't like playing anymore, no......

because the singer that took over their myspace, hubby just went to last night and noticed, hey, that's NOT my bass-line, that's the guitarist's.

Why am I mad?....because I know ALL the work he's put in, he created this band and NOT only have they changed the name but now they are slowly getting rid of hubby's bass lines and work.

Hubby has been to every single practice, only missed once when I had the flu and couldn't watch our son.

He just told me this last night and I couldn't sleep all night.

I actually told hubby, ya know what's sad, I want revenge on these guys, oh they tick me off.

So I'm going on Sat. (of course) but I'm sooooo mad at the other guys, at least 2 of them (5 all together) I thought were his "friends".

Should I just let it go or let them have it?


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