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2/16/20 10:55 P

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Today got around late, but had another productive day! Did my first workout with Amy since last weekend, as I've been careful with my back. This was just a short standing abs with no weight. A few of the moves have the option of using a light dumbbell, which I usually do, but not this morning. I was careful, and it did OK. I took a naproxen capsule this morning before exercising, and the back has been pretty good today. I'm definitely recovering--Hurray!
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Got away too late to attempt Costco, so adjusted the list to just Safeway and Trader Joe's for groceries. Got everything put away, plus the hanging clothes from yesterday's laundry, including the bras that dry on a rack. I've done 13 timer sessions on cleaning tasks and mail sorting, often alternating a couple and then reading for awhile. Picked up some new titles and authors at the library when I returned several items; I'll report what I think in the reading thread as I read them or give them up as my bus/work books. I'm on the 5th Others novel here at home, absolutely loving it all over again.
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Enjoy the rest of your weekend, whether it ends tonight or tomorrow.!
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Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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2/16/20 12:54 A

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Did a couple loads of laundry, then had my yummy leftovers. Enjoyed the Little Women movie, though the jumping back and forth in the timeline was a bit confusing. Very good performances. Saw some exciting previews, including the live action Mulan by Disney, plus a couple of great commercials--one a funny and eye-opening one about all the things you can do with bleach, by Clorox, and then a touching one I thought was a movie preview at first with all these people talking about what a wonderful husband, son, friend, coworker this man is, and when we finally see him, it's seconds before he's hit by a car--but the accident never happens; it was a Honda add about safety with a mention of all the people who are affected by car accidents who aren't in them. Surprising how emotionally powerful it was!

Too late for a nap or coffee with caffeine. Talked to sister to make plans for playing together on Monday, then put in some timer sessions, alternating between putting away laundry & bedroom cleaning with desk work. I rearranged things and have a large working surface, cleared the front so I can sit there and work now. I'm so happy with my progress!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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2/15/20 3:24 P

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Glad you had fun yesterday, and I think it's wise you are putting distance between you and J. It just seems like that relationship is not a healthy and esteem-building one for you. You have so many good people in your life who build you up and don't diminish you.

My first Valentine's Day success was getting my PT appt made for next Wed. The second wonderful thing was meeting the new unit member, Tamara, whose name I have seen on old patient messages from the Downtown dental clinic where she used to work. She is really nice and getting settled in next to me. I have offered to share any of the resources I've developed, and she told me she liked how I handled a caller who no longer qualified to be seen by us, since she now has private insurance. (It's not the first time I've congratulated a former patient on "graduating from Public Health"; I've had a couple who were pretty upset they couldn't keep going to places where they knew and liked the office and dental staff.) 3rd was transferring both Chinese dishes to tall containers with snug lids (what I've gotten a bowl of hot & sour soup in, so it doesn't leak), so the sauce didn't end up all over the bag like it does with the regular to go cartons.

This weekend I'll be doing some fun and nurturing--as well as productive (a different kind of nurturing)--activities. Did laundry today, ate yummy Chinese leftovers (at least 2 more meals worth), joined another local theater & just bought a ticket for a matinee of Little Women. Watched the preview for Just Mercy, which looks amazing, but they only had night showings of that one. This theater has some older titles that aren't at the mall cineplex; I may see the Tom Hanks/Mr Rogers movie there too. Also want to buy some clothes, maybe books or a game; will do some looking today and some shopping with Mary either Sun or Mon, plus lunch and game playing with her.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 40,329
2/14/20 5:39 P

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I got a nice hot shower. Then dressed and walked to the Nearby Starbucks downtown. I sat in a quiet corner and read some recovery material while enjoying my frappucinno. On my way back home I stopped by the candy store and picked up 3 pecan pralines. That's my little Valentine for.myself. I feel better now that I got into the sunshine and our of the house.

Cynthia

South Carolina The Palmetto State
Eastern Time


Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 40,329
2/14/20 2:48 P

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Gentle emoticon and prayers that you'll be in less pain. What a bummer about your commute home. But how awesome that you received such nice compliment from woman from work.

I'm doing okay. Trying my best to put a lot of distance between J and me. It's not easy, but I'm doing okay overall with it. It's necessary for my peace of mind and mental health.

Today's Valentine's day. I'm trying to not feel down hearted. I'm sending out goodies and posting on teams. Really I am not over thinking it. I don't have any plans for today. I kind of would like to go to Starbucks, but everyone is going to be out and about. It's Friday so traffic is going to be kinda crazy. I could walk to the one nearby I suppose since it's so sunny out. We shall see.

I went to Celebrate Recovery Monday night. It was nice to see the friends I have made there. Yesterday I went out to lunch with my good friend to our usual Tex Mex restaurant that we enjoy so much. We shared Ponchos...which are very similar to Nachos. It was a nice enjoyable time out.

Hope y'all are having a good Friday! The weekend is almost here! Woo Hoo!!

Cynthia

South Carolina The Palmetto State
Eastern Time


Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 February SparkPoints: 1,760
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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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2/13/20 11:58 P

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Only one person out today, and thankfully everyone but me was there yesterday. So I finished the last Infolinx checks from Friday, and started in on Monday. Back was still sore in the morning, ended up taking a second dose, but improved by afternoon. Door wasn't fixed yet, still slamming occasionally (which kept me tense and on edge constantly). Ian talked to different people, and finally got 2 big pieces of butcher paper and made BIG signs saying STOP! DOOR IS BROKEN--DO NOT USE! Facilities has been notified. He taped this across the door and handle on both sides. Got a bunch of extra steps going down the hall to cut over to the other side of the building to reach the restroom or take the elevator, but *so* much quieter! What a relief!!

Heard something really nice from a lady I know by sight, but had not learned her name. She said people are saying really good things about me. I didn't know what she could mean, so asked "Like what?" I figured out she was talking about WIC when she mentioned I asked really good questions and put in really good notes, and the Bellevue staff had mentioned me by name at their meeting. I was totally surprised, but very pleased!

Briefly described the afternoon commute saga in my new status: Bad pm commute: my bus arrived & left early, so waited 15 min in the rain. Then an accident had us stopped, finally got onto an alternate route, home ~ 40 min late. At least back is better! I was tired when I got home, taking a break from most everything, will try to get to bed in next half hour or so. Have a great Friday, Spark buddies!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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196.25
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158.75
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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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2/12/20 11:19 P

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I really don't know what I did. I've been exercising as usual through the weekend, and never felt any pain during a routine. I know I did a couple longer and more challenging workouts Sat & Sun. But I may have done something while carrying groceries out of the hatchback, up the stairs and into the apartment--I was never aware of what may have brought on the soreness. It's mainly when I bend or lean forward. So I talked to the advice nurse, got a bunch of ideas, and sent a message to my PCP asking for a referral for PT.

Took a couple naps today, so even though I wasn't sick, I guess yesterday had been stressful enough that my body wanted extra recovery periods. Tried elevating my legs on the couch, a suggestion by my GG co-leader, plus a toning move the advice nurse recommended of laying on my back, knees bent & feet on the floor, then tightening the core while pressing the lower back into the floor and holding that for a slow count of 10 or longer. Just one naproxen capsule in the morning (got up at regular time to call in) & one mid-afternoon, with pain present but manageable. So I plan to go back to work tomorrow, just being careful. Hope everyone is doing well!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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Posts: 18,969
2/11/20 10:47 P

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I'm not sure if 3 of my coworkers have any leave, or using FMLA, or LWOP. But it happened again today. The lead Paulina, who had scheduled yesterday off (she's the other person with leave to her name, so far as I know), was there today, but just the 2 of us until Ian came in from his MRI at 2:30. My lower back was *really* hurting. I finally took a second naproxen gel cap (they are supposed to last 8-12 hours and usually work fine, but never controlled the pain this morning. She had planned to take lunch at 12:30 (we both usually go at 1, but she only takes a half hour), but when I ran over to say I was making a quick restroom run before she left, she said she was just starting to register a new family with SEVEN kids, so I should go then. Added onto all this was the door to the elevator lobby which started randomly slamming shut with a crash--only occasionally--when people went in or out. This door is only a few feet from my desk, so it was driving me nuts! So after Ian started taking calls and the queue actually caught up briefly, I decided I had reached my limit, and left at 3. I suspect I'll be staying home to rest the back and recover.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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2/10/20 10:33 P

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At 7:58 I ran over to tell Karen I was the only person in the unit. Ian showed up right around 8 and hopped on phones, one person came at ~ 8:10 and another around 10. There was a phone queue all day long. Those days get tiring, when there's no break before another call comes. But it was clear today--even through the commute! In fact it was the first time this winter that it wasn't dark when I got off the bus in Tukwila. The sun had set, but the sky wasn't dark yet. It's been so overcast and rainy lately that I still had my flashlight on last week as I walked up the hill, but not this evening!
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Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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Posts: 18,969
2/9/20 10:27 P

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By the time I had coffee & did my morning reading, did a long ST & cardio HIIT workout with Amy (& J Zook), a couple little timer sessions, washed my hair & wrote out a shopping list, it was later than I planned to get started, so I skipped Costco. (It can be hard to find parking in the lot, with really long lines, and hard to get out of the lot, too, if I don't leave by 11.) Went straight to Target where I found some, not all, of what I wanted. Then over to Burien to Safeway and Trader Joe's. Didn't need to swing by the library today--kind of rare for me, but then I'm rereading my own copies of The Others series at home, and I have 2 juvenile fiction books for bus & work. The current one is very good--The Unteachables by Gordon Korman, who wrote the excellent Restart a couple of years ago, about the bully who falls off the roof and becomes a much nicer person when he has amnesia.

Had a late nap, so afternoon coffee was mostly decaf. I've done several more timer sessions, mostly caught up with the new mail from this week & logged today's spending. More work to be done on the desk, but it's looking so much clearer, which makes it a nicer place to work. Need to prep a couple days' of salad extras when I make tonight's dinner salad. Hoping to get some Valentines in the mail, too. Hope your week starts out great!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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Posts: 18,969
2/8/20 4:22 P

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I'm so pleased. I slept in till about 6:30 this morning, and finished my wonderful book with my morning coffee. (I've just started rereading the fantastic urban fantasy series about The Others by Anne Bishop, starting with Written in Red, an amazing series debut novel!) I did a couple timer sessions, sent some goodies with a brief message to inactive BBs. I've sent different messages and goodies to more active team members. It's all part of the BBs turning 9 this week (and me having more energy, now that the job hunt is done!).

Then I did a nice long & challenging cardio HIIT workout with Amy. I added a new comment on the YouTube page for 35 Minute Fat Blasting Cardio Challenge HIIT Workout www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoH-
0US0uVY&am
p;t=4s
which I shared on the Success thread. Then I made a nice big breakfast w/ Chinese leftovers (from last week, which is why I opted for a salad for lunch yesterday). A few more timer sessions, and I've reached desktop! I'm so pleased; I thought it would take a lot longer. I have lots of follow up work, especially filing, and also actions to take, but I've purged plenty of mail and papers to recycle, pages with a blank side to reuse (mainly in the printer or for shopping lists) or supplies to put away.

With clearing the desk and dealing with mail 2 of my major focuses for February, I may be able to morph it into purging and organizing files, which will likely be a March focus, one that will need lots of time given boxes or papers to sort in various places. But with the month only 1/4 gone, I'm really pleased with my progress. It might seem silly to others, but this timer session (babysteps) approach *totally* works for me! I'm going to brush my teeth, do some reading and take a nap, before moving on to the second half of my day!
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I was reading with my afternoon coffee, totally into the next Others novel, but with the coffee consumed, had the thought "I could do a timer session or 2 right now." And there was an immediate response from a young-sounding part of "Oh goodie! Let's get more done!" It makes a total difference when I don't try to shame or should or push myself, but break big jobs into these little bitty, easy to accomplish pieces.

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 2/8/2020 (21:33)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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Posts: 18,969
2/7/20 11:43 P

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Sending serious healing energy your way! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon (covering my bases) emoticon I took a day off last week when my energy plummeted, and I felt like I was fighting something. Rest was exactly what I needed, and I felt better after relaxing with reading, napping, and lots of tea!
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When I caught up with my statistics at work, I did some purging of papers in my work storage area. Bringing home lots of scratch paper--old application materials printed on one side that I don't need, so reuse by printing on the blank side, plus a few things to keep. Love my organizing!

I had decided against Chinese today, since I still have leftovers, so ran down to a nearby Mexican grill--only to find out they closed on 1/31! Dang. I hadn't been in some months, but had been in the mood for their taco salad. Decided to walk over to Tat's Deli instead, wondering just how long the line would be. (I've learned to avoid going on Fridays, cuz it's popular, and you can spend 10 minutes waiting to get your order in!) But amazingly, I walked right up and ordered! There was a little line when I finished, but I was able to hustle back to work and finish my large chopped salad before my hour was up!

And though cold and windy, it was dry at lunch. Then the sun came out in the afternoon, which was really welcome! I didn't bother switching my shoes for boots like I do on all the rainy days, but between 4:30, when I last looked out the window, and 5:00 it started raining--which I discovered when I left the building! So I started digging to the bottom of my rolling tote while waiting for the bus, and switched footwear while riding the 2 stops to my southbound transfer point. Since I had to stand out in the windy rain, and my umbrella could only keep part of me dry, I was really glad for the extra coverage!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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OVERDUECHANGE's Photo OVERDUECHANGE SparkPoints: (98,346)
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2/7/20 12:13 P

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Wow, what a day! :)

Mine started off pretty well. Went to the copy store, which happens to have a Harry Potter Wizards Unite fortress in their parking lot, so I finished some challenges there. Then got to the social security office just as it opened and got in and out fairly quickly, considering I was about the 15th person in line.

Been back home and working since then.
... while all that feels pretty good, I feel a little weird physically, like I'm trying to come down with something. Wish me luck that I don't.

Not all those who wander are lost


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2/7/20 12:28 A

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emoticon Cynthia. I am proud of myself for staying consistent. emoticon

I had a couple of panicked minutes this morning as I was leaving for work, and I couldn't lock my door. Sometimes it starts sticking and I have to push or pull or lift on the door to get it to house right, but I had no problems until it just wouldn't go! I finally locked it by just twisting the knob from inside--which never feels secure to me, but I had to go to work. I ran down the hill, sprinting when the signal changed to walk, just making it across the last big intersection. Luckily the rains had slowed the bus, so it was later than I was, since I didn't get there until after the usual pick-up time.

I called from the bus and then from work, leaving messages for the management office explaining what happened, and asking if maintenance could look at it today, please. When I called again after lunch (first 2 early morning calls were before they open at 9), I was told they would get to it today. Sure enough, key worked like a charm when I got home. They were about to close, so I gave a quick call with a big " emoticon emoticon " to them and to maintenance.

Kept up with my usual evening routines-- emoticon Running out of steam now, but I want to do a little more reading before bed. Goodnight & sweet dreams, all! emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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196.25
177.5
158.75
140
HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 40,329
2/6/20 11:43 A

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emoticon Amanda on keeping up making progress!! I know how easy it would've been to just put hands up in the air and blow it off. emoticon pressing on!

Cynthia

South Carolina The Palmetto State
Eastern Time


Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 February SparkPoints: 1,760
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1987.5
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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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2/6/20 12:35 A

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I don't know where my irritation came from this afternoon, as I was walking home from the bus stop. While I was tempted to blow everything off, I sliced a Pink Lady apple (yesterday's was Ambrosia--really good!), made my tea, did my meditation, and did timer sessions with cleaning, desk sorting, and Spark goodie giving. I felt much better for having made progress!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
Fitness Minutes: (242,946)
Posts: 18,969
2/5/20 12:24 A

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Epic did better today, just a very brief problem this afternoon, so I was able to catch up on a bunch of statistics. I've heard the 2 people who are being hired to join our unit, who both have a lot of Epic experience, so they'll get up to speed quickly. They've both worked at dental clinics, so may need training on family planning and WIC (especially the new Cascades system for the latter), but will bring a wealth of knowledge. One of them is a fellow I shadowed in those early, early days as I was just learning my job. He was nice, informative and has always been helpful and ready to answer questions. He'll also bring some new energy to our currently all-female unit, so Ian won't feel so outnumbered! emoticon

Did a few timer sessions tonight, including my first ones on the desk. It's piled high and will take many sessions to clear the clutter, but I'm excited to have begun, if just barely! emoticon Have a Wonderful Wednesday, my friends!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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Posts: 18,969
2/3/20 11:52 P

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And emoticon to you on being cigarette free for 12 years! emoticon emoticon Same for your 4 years of sobriety. Doesn't it feel great to know you've accomplished something so important to nurturing for your health and well-being? emoticon emoticon There is nothing wrong with tooting our own horns! emoticon

Sorry about the mandated mess--sad to be pushed into creating a bunch of clutter. I imagine I would be anxiously wanting to sort and organize, yet wanting to clear the mess as soon as possible too. Remember, whatever you choose to do doesn't need to be done perfectly. Just do something to make it better and ease the stress on you.

Friday our main scheduling system, Epic, wouldn't load for the first hour, so we couldn't look up patients, make appointments or confirm the date or time they were scheduled for. Well today, it was after 11 before any of us could log on--clinics too, so they couldn't check in, or pull up patient records for providers, ending up sending a bunch of people home & calling people to say "We have to reschedule your appt, but we can't do that right now." Then once we could finally get in, everything was excruciatingly slow, like a minute for each link to work, when it's normally instantaneous. As an email explained, thousands of users all along the West Coast were trying to get on at the same time. It finally settled down and speeded up, but it was pretty frustrating for ~ half the day. At least WIC uses a different system, so we could register clients and make appts for them. It was nice to be able to help some callers! At first we were saying "call back in an hour" then the message became "call back this afternoon"!

Did my (new) normal after work: meditate, make tea,do a few timer sessions. Today I added having an apple for a snack. I got singles of several varieties at TJ's, and tried the Kiku today. It was nice. I'm thinking I may read a little and try to get to bed a little on the early side. Wishing everyone a Terrific Tuesday!

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 2/4/2020 (00:16)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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2/3/20 1:10 P

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Amanda~ emoticon emoticon on 10 years of sobriety!! emoticon emoticon

I smiled about your comments on YouTube videos. I am glad you wrote about your experience.I hope she reads your comments and improved her videos. I'm sorry about your mishap at the laundry. I've done the same thing. It drives me crazy that it will only take a fiver to buy a new card. I hope you like the new Burts bees products that you got. St. Patrick's day is my Best friend 's holiday. The items you purchased sound fun.

I'm going crazy today...I had to empty all my closets so that the sprinkler heads could be changed. J helped with some of it. But STUFF is Everywhere!! emoticon
It looks like I just moved in. I'm crabby. J was going to help me out things back, but now he's watching YouTube videos in my living room instead. Ugh. I've been stress eating most of the late morning and early afternoon. When I was a smoker, this would be a time that I would smoke. But no way am I going to smoke. February 29th is 12 years without a cigarette. I'm so much healthier.

January 29th I celebrated 4 years of sobriety. I'm ever so grateful.

Yesterday I went out to lunch with my good friend. It did me well to get out and it brightened my friend's day...which brightens my day by knowing that I helped make her day better.

I went to an online AA step study meeting. I really enjoyed it. A lot of great experience strength and hope we're shared.

I'll get out of my funk. No worries.

Cynthia

South Carolina The Palmetto State
Eastern Time


Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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2/2/20 12:59 P

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Ran errands yesterday, strangely had longer checkout lines in Target than Costco! (Not enough checkers.) Didn't find the Burt's Bees Vitamin E Oil with lemon I like, so got a couple new BB items to try--hand cream and face oil. They're pricey, but I can afford it. I also got some silly but fun St. Patty's accessories--earrings and hair ties--not pricey, but it's so nice to be able to spend on just for fun things, after so many years of trying to only get what I needed or what was on sale. Got a nap and did a number of timer sessions, both cleaning & sorting. Vacuumed for the first time in too long, which makes everything look so much better! So productive & satisfying Saturday.
emoticon
Had an upset this morning, all of my own making. Went to take laundry down & found my laundry card was not in the bag with detergent, stain remover & dryer sheets--where it should always be. Checked on the couch by the computer where I sometimes set it until I log in what I used on my spending spreadsheet (even though I'm caught up except for Fri & Sat). Looked a bunch of places, couldn't find, so went to buy a new one. Turns out I couldn't use my $10 bill; they will only take a $5 for a new card which costs $2, since you get a balance of $3. So I had to tote the basket back to the apartment, go in & get a new bill out of my billfold, then to the machine to get a card, then down to the laundry room. I'm so much better at putting things away--but somehow I didn't manage it last weekend, and I paid the price. Trying to turn disappointment and aggravation into a stronger determination to put this--and other things--in their proper places when I'm done with them!
emoticon (anger and determination)

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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2/1/20 12:42 P

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I'm feeling proud of myself. I wanted a challenging workout, so did a new one (from 1 week ago, that I actually tried once already) that's 30 minutes HIIT with weights. The majority I liked a lot, but again the end was less satisfying, in fact 2 things I didn't like--one atypical for Amy, but the second a problem I've had before. I have no idea if she ever reads the comments posted on YouTube (almost everything I see, and I don't spend time reading them all, is a variation on Thanks & Loved it), or if anyone will understand or agree, but I shared this:

"Tried it again, still loving the standing section & seeing which weights work best for different moves to challenge muscles but protect joints. Modified floor movements, but what struck me as unusual was your comment about not needing water. I've always appreciated your hydration reminders and example (unlike other trainers), so was startled by any intimation that water is for wusses, since I'm sweating & sipping whenever I can. It also hit me today that it troubles me at the end of workouts when you've said this is the last move, but then add something else. By this point my joints are starting to ache & my muscles are trembling, & my safety issues get triggered. I'd much rather know that there is more to come, so I can pace and protect myself. (Yeah, survivor issues can suck sometimes.)"

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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1/31/20 10:55 P

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Well that was disappointing! On top of leaving my cell phone at work, I just tried a new to me workout by Amy from 3 years ago that didn't follow the usual pattern of activity-short rest-activity-short rest. There was no resting, and when I started gasping and feeling shaky I stopped, found the workout on YouTube and added this comment: I love most of your workouts, but with no rest between moves, I got dizzy and nauseous, and had to quit at the 17-minute mark. I'm used to your 45 seconds of activity then 15 of active rest, or even 50 and 10, but not one move after another with no break.

The other comments I saw were "Loved it" & "Great" while I'm thinking "Hated it" even if I didn't say that. To each her own, right?

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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1/30/20 10:02 P

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As I mentioned in my status, although I slept over 8 hours (when my norm even on vacation is 6.5 to 7), I woke up tired, wanting to go back to sleep, so I called in sick. I've been resting, reading, drinking lots of tea and seltzer, finally began perking up a little by late afternoon, and when I laid down for another nap, couldn't get to sleep. So I kept taking it easy, did a couple of timer sessions, made a call on a minor financial account that had to be during east coast business hours, and just did Amy's 13-minute dumbbell standing abs workout.

It felt like I brushed up against something that could have made me sick if I hadn't heeded the signals, and let myself rest and replenish energy. I don't think I'll have a problem going in tomorrow. So I'm pretty happy that I got a little bit done (dining table is looking better!), and took good care of myself.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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1/29/20 10:29 P

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Not sure why, but I think I need the night off. Had all kinds of plans when I journaled this morning, but now that I've finished the next-to-last Jane Yellowrock book, Dark Queen with the blood duel between the European & American vampires finally ended & Jane dying of magical cancer (I was 2 chapters from the end when my bus arrived at my home stop, so I had to keep going once I got here), I just have no energy for all of it. It just feels like I need to listen to my body & let it be okay to rest.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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158.75
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1/29/20 12:40 A

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Oh, , today was *so* much better! Not only were all 5 of us there, but we had an all-staff meeting in the morning, so calls went to the sites from 8 until 10:30. Since they let us out before 10, I got to do a longer workout than usual--both weights and the bike. And whereas my bike speed and distance has been falling off for a while, yesterday even falling under 2 miles in 10 minutes, today both sessions were high energy, and I biked over 2.25 miles both times!
emoticon emoticon
Then, because it was surprisingly sunny at lunch, I decided to got to Tat's Deli today instead of tomorrow for my favorite chopped salad with turkey Tat'strami (made in house) with grilled mushrooms. With their thick, creamy balsamic dressing, garbanzos, shaved carrots and tomato slices over romaine, and at less than $10 for a large salad, it's a healthy choice and a great deal for lunch in Seattle!
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I was able to do some catching up on yesterday's calls, and only took a little over 20 today, instead of 42 like yesterday! I'm getting into some good evening routines around charging my phone (which used to be only occasionally), meditating, timer sessions, prepping for the next day. Now that I've made a preliminary sort through the huge pile of mail that had built up, I began clearing the dining table--a goal for January. I may not finish it in the next few days, but I'm making good progress, which I love. Feeling pretty satisfied. Hope you are too!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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1/27/20 11:01 P

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I was close to tears by the end of my shift, and again when I arrived home, just from the stress of the day. Mondays are often our heaviest call days, and 2 out of the 5 of us showed up: me and the lead. 3 called out, and we've been short 2 positions for months--the ones Ian interviewed for last week. Never once, all day long, was there a pause when another call wasn't waiting to come through as soon as I finished my after call work and reset my status as available. It was exhausting! I was not able to complete all the steps I should be doing with every call, which I'll have to play catch up on when we get more crew in.

Even though I half-snoozed through tonight's meditation (that's been happening for the last week or so), I did feel calmer afterward. And I just did a short 13-minute standing abs with dumbbell workout by Amy, and one timer session. I'm really hoping to get to bed early tonight and build those reserves back up! Here's hoping for a better Tuesday!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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1/26/20 11:53 A

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I always enjoy hearing how you are, Cynthia. And it's very gratifying to hear you are in positive spirits, connecting with positive people, and actively pursuing your recovery.
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Have a play with sister today down in Lakewood. It's currently not raining, but it's a long drive--45 minutes plus, depending on weather and conditions. I'll have my alternate route prepped for after the play, cuz if it's wet and dark, I don't want to drive I-5 where visibility is bad in heavy rains. Longer (by other highways) is preferable if I feel safer and less anxious.

Lunch was yummy--a big salad with all sorts of veggies to order at Mod Pizza! emoticon emoticon And I got some helpful info about signing up for Medicare from dear sister who went through this already. It was great to learn I just have to register, but don't have to decide about plans yet, since I'm still working and covered by a health plan through my job.

The play was great! emoticon Heathers, the Musical emoticon I had never seen the 1989 film, so the story was new to me. It was a great ensemble, but couldn't make out all the lyrics. I will try to borrow the film (hope my library system has a copy), and see if I can find the lyrics somewhere. And I'm so please I decided to drive back by Highways 512 and 167. Clouds were patchy, but dark in places, and sure enough, I got rained on a number of times along the way. This "back way" just feels less stressful, and didn't take long, either! I think the distance is a bit more, but the speed stays more constant without the backups and bottlenecks that are typical on I-5. The first 30 of my 47 minute trip were before it started getting dark, but full dark hadn't quite arrived by 5:17 when I pulled into the complex lot.

Also pleased that I put in a few timer sessions before leaving and after returning, and did an intense (but always safe) favorite cardio HIIT workout by Amy this morning. I'll do a little prep for work tomorrow and read some more before bed.

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 1/26/2020 (23:26)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 40,329
1/26/20 11:41 A

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Amanda~ How scary that there was a shooting. From your post it sounded like utter chaos. I'm glad you're okay. emoticon continuing your routine timer sessions and workouts. I love to read, but haven't read a book in a long time. I start, but never finish them. I haven't read the Harry potter series. I have heard they are fantastic reads.

It's sunny today! Love love love emoticon

Yesterday my friend picked me up and we had Tex Mex for late lunch. I really enjoyed our time together. Afterwards, we went back to her house and watched a movie on Hallmark.

Friday my sponsor picked me up from the mechanic. We went to IHOP for breakfast. Our food was delicious, but our time of fellowship was awesome. We talked, laughed and just had wonderful conversation. I'm so grateful for her.

Today is Celebrate Recovery step study. I'm sure it will go well. I finished working on the questions for this week.

Hope you have a great day!

Cynthia

South Carolina The Palmetto State
Eastern Time


Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 February SparkPoints: 1,760
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1/26/20 12:02 A

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Got my haircut today; had to call to confirm, since it's the first time I didn't get a reminder call. (I wonder if they left a message on the wrong number?!) Then I did a little shopping next door at a Fred Meyer which carries some of those salads I like, and more often has the Taylor Farms ones on sale, than my Safeway. Given the light rain, I drove the back way home, by way of Burien and my Safeway and TJ's for the rest of the week's groceries. Had a late nap, and finished the final book in the Harry Potter series with my mostly decaf coffee. I adore the revelations in Snape's memories, the scene between Dumbledore and Harry at "King's Cross Station," the fierceness of Molly Weasley battling Bellatrix, Kreacher leading the house elves to battle, Neville's heroism, Harry's explanation of wand magic and allegiance to Voldemort--and offer of redemption, and finally his exchange with little Albus Severus in the sweet epilogue.

I've put in a few timer sessions, did a new & very challenging (almost too much so--reviewed elsewhere) workout by Amy. May do a few more sessions after a dinner salad. (Gotta make up for snacking as I read!) Then off to bed, with plans for lunch and a play with Mary tomorrow! Fun, fun! Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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158.75
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1/24/20 12:37 A

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It was me and Paulina (the lead), with our float Sandy in another location until Theresa made it in 11-ish. Finally got caught up to today w/ Infolinx checks, made insurance corrections, registered a few new WIC clients--which requires setting up or updating accounts in 2 different systems. Uneventful commute except for running flat out to catch my 150 going south, which was a blessing. Several timer sessions, some mail sorting, online banking & spending tracking. Even a short workout with Amy tonight. Feeling tired, so especially happy that I maintained several routines and took babysteps in several areas.
emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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Posts: 18,969
1/22/20 11:44 P

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It was a challenging evening commute with huge traffic snarls due to a shooting (1 dead, 7 injured) in downtown Seattle. Here were a series of texts I sent Mary, before I knew what was going on:

I eschewed the first bus and took the next since the first always takes lots of riders at the next stop. (5:09)

So didn't help. More than a dozen emergency vehicles went by, and we have not moved in more than 15 minutes. We can't get across the street, so I can't get to my bus stop. It's now been 20 minutes. But we are next to a construction site with no sidewalk, so we can't get off! (5:25)

I'm now at my stop and I see my bus. Don't know when it will get through the intersection. (5:30)

It's 10 minutes later, and we've made it to the end of the block. Ooh--we just got through the intersection. 2 or 3 times we took on more riders since we could not move. We will be packed to the gills, and I may finish my book before I get home!

We did end up with people standing in the aisle all the way to the front by the time we got on the freeway, but since I get on at the second stop out of the terminal (the whole reason I travel 2 stops north before catching my southbound bus), I had a seat. I read several chapters, but did not finish the book. I did read the news story online once I got home, after meditating emoticon emoticon . The shooter hasn't been caught yet. I put in a single timer session before making dinner--a salad with the heavenly smoked salmon that was a gift from BIL--hit the spot! emoticon Needless to say, not much is getting done tonight. It could have been worse. The lady next to me was talking to a friend across the aisle who said they locked down their building after they had left; another friend emailed her saying "I guess I'm working late tonight!" I pray for the injured and the families and friends of the victims.

Take good care my friends, and tell someone you love them--and commit to doing something you've been putting off.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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1/22/20 6:30 P

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Steady progress is emoticon no matter how slow it might be! emoticon

Doing pretty good. I went to therapy appointment this morning and it went really well. Afterwards, I went to Starbucks so I could work on writing in my journal. My journaling is part of my Celebrate Recovery step study. I promised my sponsor I would work on it today.

In the late afternoon I took me to my dental appointment. I thought my new filling had fallen out, but to my relief I was mistaken. The dentist did a thorough look see and reassured me that everything looks good. Yay! J and I walked to the nearby coffee shop and enjoyed coffee. Then we went to a new store. It's a speciality store that sells fountain pens. I had a great time admiring the beautiful pens. I haven't written with a fountain pen since I was in high school learning how to write calligraphy. I know the experience at the store might've been even better had I tried a few out. I love nice pens. I love journals and good notebooks too, which they had a few of. I know my best friend who loves pens would really enjoy the store too. J and I enjoyed our chat with the owners. They were really nice; interesting too.

I'm sleepy this evening. If it were a little earlier I'd take a nap. I think I'll snuggle down and watch NCIS on Netflix.

Have a good evening!




Cynthia

South Carolina The Palmetto State
Eastern Time


Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 February SparkPoints: 1,760
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1/22/20 12:19 A

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Everyone was there today, but with the supervisor and lead in interviews all day, and a heavy call volume (usual after a holiday), the calls stayed backed up pretty much the whole day. The best thing about the day (in addition to making both my buses because they were later than I was), was breaking in my new rolling cart. I found it online, and got it as a gift from DS and BIL. It's lime green & has the same big front pocket, side mesh pocket (for water bottle), retractable handle as my old one, but instead of rattling and clattering loudly due to mangled wheels, it glides along very quietly, which is very welcome--and I imagine my neighbors appreciate as well!

Meditation & timer sessions tonight, chipping away at old mail. Steady if slow progress. I'll take it! emoticon emoticon Have a Wonderful Wednesday, all!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
215
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158.75
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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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1/20/20 9:11 P

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emoticon on connecting with positive people and practicing self-care! A wonderful strategy! I'm proud of you, and happy you had a better day, too! emoticon

I woke up almost regular time, and after morning coffee, put in some timer sessions and got the last of the holiday boxes packed, and by the balcony door (too cold and dark to put away then). I saw a special promotion from my blood bank and thought, hey--I have the day off, let's go donate. So booked the last open morning appointment, did a quick workout, had a nice big breakfast (like they recommend) of Chinese leftovers & scurried over to the blood bank. They were running behind, so I got a bunch of reading done in the last Harry Potter book. Had my usual cranberry juice and Doritos in the canteen after donation, then did my errands of gas and a few items at Costco, then to Target for cans of cat food. They were out of the Burt's Bees vitamin E oil I like, but they had BB pink grapefruit lip balm back in, so I took all three on the shelf. Pricey, but I love it!

Energy is low after a donation, so I took a nap. I got the boxes in the storage closet, and will do some more timer sessions. I'm so happy to have more floor space back in the bedroom and living room! Eager to log today's spending right away, and stay on top of that. Also eager to prep for work tomorrow to save time in the morning. When I do that, my early morning is more relaxed. Let's all have a great week!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


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1/20/20 12:26 P

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I really appreciate you validating me and cheering me on. Thank you for reminding that I am making progress. emoticon

Woo hoo getting in 13 sessions! emoticon I love that you are seeing visible progress! That sure makes you feel good!

Yesterday was a better day than Saturday. I finally got out n about. My good friend took me out for a snack (appetizer) while she had a full meal. I had already eaten a bite not long before she called me. I really enjoyed her company. It did me a lot of good getting out and spending time with her. I know it helped her too.

I also did some self care by showering and washing my hair. It seems difficult lately. But I feel human again!

Today at 3 I am going out for coffee with my sponsor before we go to Celebrate Recovery. I'm really looking forward to it.

Have a good Monday!

Cynthia

South Carolina The Palmetto State
Eastern Time


Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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1/19/20 9:11 P

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emoticon That is emoticon and fabulous news! I am so happy your church is doing that for you. I know you must sow many seeds of kindness and positive energy, with all the blessings that come your way.

I acknowledge your struggle and the emotions you are dealing with. (I will NEVER tell you not to feel whatever you are truly feeling.) I can only encourage you to turn to your many wonderful supports to nourish your spirit and remind yourself of all the progress you've made. Take a babystep forward, rest, and then when you're ready, take another babystep in the direction you want to go. emoticon Enjoy that emoticon

I got a later start than I planned--slept in (for me),dawdled over morning coffee and reading. By the time I had finished my workout, showered & washed my hair & dressed, I decided not to go by Costco, since the gas lines were likely to be long and the parking lot packed. I'm determined to get an earlier start tomorrow for Costco and Target. Instead, I drove straight to Burien and hit Safeway and Trader Joe's, then the library to return a bunch of books. I had intended on a nap, but read too long, so had my afternoon coffee half decaf, and started in on timer sessions. I put in 13, finishing logging in all my receipts, and finishing some post-holiday tasks. My energy has fizzled, so I think I'll wind it down. I'm seeing visible progress, which is very heartening!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 1/19/2020 (22:56)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 40,329
1/19/20 11:04 A

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How wonderful that you had your whole team at work! I know that makes for a better day. You got a lot done too. And look at all you're getting done at home! You're doing emoticon !!

I'm struggling. I can feel the depression creeping in. I think part of it is I haven't been taking my thyroid medicine on a regular basis and I'm not doing great with the boundary thing, although I keep trying. I've been really anxious too.

On the bright side of things....I have Wonderful news. My church's benevolence committee is going to pay for the work that needs done on my car! So this Friday the fluids will be changed and a new battery will be put in. What a relief!! I'm so happy and grateful.

It's sunny out. I love the sunshine. I am so over the amount of rain we have had lately! Lol

Enjoy your Sunday!

Cynthia

South Carolina The Palmetto State
Eastern Time


Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 February SparkPoints: 1,760
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1/17/20 11:28 P

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As I mentioned in my status, it was a huge relief to have everyone in the crew at work today. I think that was the first time since the day after New Year's, so 2 full weeks. Caught up on another 20-25 Infolinx checks, reporting on several unlinked and duplicate records. I think I only have a half dozen or fewer left. I also deleted a whole slew of sent emails--more than 100, I think, the majority of them to clinics following up on calls when we can't reach them by phone--which happens a lot! I'm actually surprised when a clinic answers a call.

Snacked and read after work, but then jumped right into meditating and a couple of timer sessions. I enjoy reviewing my receipts, breaking them into categories and logging the spending in. I just have to make the time to do it. I think I'll get caught up this weekend; then I hope to develop a routine to stay current. Hoping to make an early night, and sleep in a little. Have a great night, SAssies!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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1/16/20 11:38 P

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I'm glad I gave myself the break last night. I was all the more eager to hop back into my new routines--meditating, timer sessions, including tracking spending, charging the phone, a short workout with Amy (the standing abs one). I'm a proud babystepper tonight!
emoticon emoticon
I was also relieved to have 4 of us there all day, with just one out. I kept up with today's callers and getting my Infolinx checks done, and got through 15 or more from previous days as well. Learned a new trick from Ian about navigating in the Epic system, and a sweet lady at one of the WIC clinics talked me through how to cancel an appt in Cascades (the new WIC system) which we hadn't been trained on, but were just told we could start doing. So a satisfying day overall.

Wishing everyone a Fantastic Friday!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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1/16/20 12:30 A

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Sorry SAssies, I am just really tired tonight! I took off early from work & had a dentist appt--just a regular check and cleaning. Some details on the gratitude thread. I had warm yummy soup for dinner (YJ's creamy portobello mushroom, with extra veggies, of course!), and am feeling warm & full & sleepy. So I'll check in tomorrow. Good night, all!
emoticon that was me a few hours ago emoticon this will be me in a few minutes!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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1/15/20 12:45 A

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I was there bright and early. It took me a little longer to get to the bus stop, since I put Yaktrax over my boots, which helped me get down my steep hill safely. Snow was maybe 1/2" on the ground. I expected the bus to be a little late, but he was on time, and I had to run across the street to reach him before he pulled away! The coworker who was there yesterday called out sick, the other 2 were still out, but the one who tried working from home until her internet went out came in early. So it was 2 of us (out of 5) and occasionally Ian, plus a float answering some calls from one of the clinics near her. Again almost no Infolinx checks, don't know when we'll get caught up so I can check those.

At one point snow was falling heavily outside the window (late morning) but it tapered off, the clouds broke up and we had sunshine and a pretty sunset. They were saying the evening commute should be fine--yes, just COLD--but the morning might be bad, especially in the northern part of the county. (Glad I'm in the south.) So we might possibly start late. I'll have to see in the morning. Timer sessions, meditated, no extra exercise, but did inventory of favorite retired fragrances by Bath and Body Work (Mango Mandarin and White Tea & Ginger) before ordering--but discovered I ordered so much last year that I don't need any.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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1/13/20 11:56 P

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After all that work lugging everything home, there was a bare dusting of snow on the car roofs, and none stuck to the parking lot, sidewalks or roads. Got a few flakes walking down to the bus stop. I did dress warmly, with an extra layer under my pants, and a neck gaiter--first time I've had to do that this winter. Later in the morning we could see more snow falling, but it was only intermittent, and nothing sticking to sidewalks after work. Here in Tukwila there was a little accumulation here and there, but nothing affecting walking or driving.

Couldn't get my computer to work when I hooked it back up. Ian had to help me figure it out.
Then had security issues from when I changed my password Friday. So I started taking calls late. Had lots of calls asking if clinics were open--yes! Last February had closures, and people were worried. There were only 2 of us there today. One lady worked from home for a while, but then her cable went out. And one float was taking calls from a clinic where she was working. Ian sometimes helped out, like to cover lunch. But calls were always backed up, and I barely checked a single Infolinx record, plus I didn't check Epic for moms and babies I made appts for in WIC. The new ones I registered in WIC, I also added to Epic, but I usually make sure an existing Epic record is up-to-date, but I just couldn't spare the time. My last call ran a little over, and I had to run hard to catch my 150 that was just starting to pull away.

Have kept to my after work routines of meditating, not snacking, doing timer sessions & a short workout with Amy. Feeling pleased and productive! Wishing everyone a terrific Tuesday!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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158.75
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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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1/12/20 11:24 P

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Had fun meeting Mary for lunch Saturday. Came back from Federal Way on highways 18 & 167 instead of the freeway. It was very smooth, though we backed up coming into Renton with exit only lanes to get onto I-405 each direction. I learned to stay to the far left to turn onto the city street I need to get home.

I put in 10 timer sessions, many of them organizing receipts that had been piled on and next to the couch. I found all the ones I needed to figure out what I still owe Mary for the plane tickets to California, after I picked up food & parking at the airport, then hotel gas and food on our Shafer Ladies weekend, plus some other meals and purchases. I have a final total I'll be writing a check for, then we'll be all caught up!

Today I did a couple loads of linens, the only person in the laundry room. After my breakfast of Chinese leftovers with extra veggies, I made up my grocery list and headed out. The gas line at Costco was WAY too long, but I managed to find a parking space by waiting for a couple to load their car--and this was near the farthest corner of the lot. There were a lot of people lined up waiting for spaces. I was pleased that the Kirkland brand Glucosamine with Chondroitin that I take for knee pain (and am almost out of) was $4 off per bottle, so I got 2. Lines weren't bad at Safeway, but at TJ's, they were the worst I've ever seen. I think the crowds were a combination of people wanting to finish before the SeaHawks playoff game, and wanting to stock up in case the coming week's predicted snow makes traveling difficult. People are panicked by the possibility of another storm like last February that closed things down for days. I was pleased to see the forecast eased of the super cold temps from highs of high 20s & lows of low 20s to low 30s and mid 20s. Still supposed to be snow--but today said 100% chance of snow, and I haven't seen precipitation all day; we even had sun for a while!

I'm very pleased that I got in 12 timer sessions this afternoon! (No nap like I had planned.) Got all laundry and groceries put away. Now I just want to get ready for work tomorrow, assuming I will be going in (unless I hear otherwise from Ian). Took a mini-break to locate my Yaktrax (traction devices that go over shoes) in case there is much accumulation tomorrow. I did Amy's new 38 minute dumbbell and bodyweight combo workout--intense & satisfying!

Have a good week, all!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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158.75
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1/11/20 12:32 A

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Well, weight dropped more than a pound this morning, and it seemed I was eliminating more than usual, so maybe something digestive was going on that wasn't causing discomfort, so I hadn't been aware of it.
emoticon emoticon
With snow predicted for Sunday and much of next week, Ian decided to have us all take computers & headsets home in case the county tells us to stay home--or some people have too difficult a commute. He expects business as usual, & at last look accumulation of 1/2 inch or less is expected, but after the big snow shutdown in February, when we worked remotely for most of a week, he wanted us prepared.
emoticon emoticon
I'm really proud that I resisted the temptation to "take the night off" and instead, did my usual meditation, followed by timer sessions. I love the little bits of progress I'm seeing, and because the time is short, it's not exhausting or onerous. Rather, I find it energizing, and I look forward to planning where to focus my next sessions!
emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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1/10/20 12:52 A

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Glad you are enjoying your essential oil. Not sure what to say about J. He may think he can get you to return to old patterns. I remember in The Dance of Anger, where Harriet Lerner (?) talks about how when you try to change relationship dynamics, there's often a lot of resistance by others, who try to force you back into old "dance steps" so they don't have to change what they do. It will be up to you to enforce your boundaries and monitor your actions. I wish you luck and strength!

And my weight jumped up again--by 2 pounds this morning, and I have no idea why. I did a longer cardio sculpt workout tonight; I hope that will encourage a downward trend.

4 people on phones in the morning, but it was just me for the last half hour. Slowly catching up a little. Had a few semi-unpleasant, very demanding callers. They are never fun to deal with. But also had some nice ones to balance it out.

I'm continuing my positive streaks of meditating and doing several timer sessions after work. I spread them out today, which I like so I see progress on different fronts.

Hope everyone has a great Friday!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 40,329
1/9/20 4:50 P

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Amanda~ Sorry about the scale moving in opposite direction. Remember the scale doesn't define you. You are doing great! I bet that weight will come off in no time! You are very consistent with working out. emoticon emoticon

Such a lazy day. I've accomplished nothing, but getting showered. But yesterday I did do laundry. I got it all done, except for putting it away....which is today's goal. I feel good getting it done, especially since I washed two of my favorite sweaters.

I texted my friend that I often go out to eat with. I'm hoping she'll be available this evening. I really would like to get out and about.

J keeps coming here unannounced. I let him in and then boom he takes over. Granted he did do a couple of helpful things, but he's pushing the boundaries I had. I told him I he needs to call me before coming over. So far not working. I'm frustrated. Do I just tell him to go away when he comes to the door? I have tried telling him I am busy, but he always has an answer.

Right now I'm diffusing an essential oil blend that I recently bought. I'm finding it to be quite relaxing. It's a blend called Meditation Synergy. I really like it.

Tomorrow I am getting together with my sponsor. I'm really excited.

Hope everyone is having a great day!


Cynthia

South Carolina The Palmetto State
Eastern Time


Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 February SparkPoints: 1,760
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1/9/20 12:40 A

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Boy, was I disgruntled this morning when I weighed and found that despite 2 days of no snacking after work, my weight jumped up a little more than a pound. That' not much, but I had been hoping for the scale to go down!
emoticon emoticon
I just missed my usual bus home, and had to stand in the windy cold and dark for over 15 minutes for the next one. Then traffic was slow in the rain. So I'm not getting to bed as soon as I'd hoped. But I meditated again, did 3 timer sessions--all to finish one post-holiday project, did a short but intense low impact cardio HIIT by Amy, then made a big dinner salad and prepped 2 containers of extra veggies for work lunch salads. I'll read a little and finish my tea before bed.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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1/8/20 12:59 A

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I normally would have edited my earlier post with my update, but these 3 points put me into triple digits tonight, so here is my update: A repeat of last night--meditation, no snacking, a short workout, 3 timer sessions. Even getting the hang of charging my phone regularly. And today was mostly a repeat of yesterday but with fewer WIC calls (they decided that plan wasn't a good one, especially before we hire and train more staff!), but only 3 people and pretty constant calls for most of the day.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
215
196.25
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158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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1/7/20 10:52 P

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emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon A victory indeed, Cynthia! You can be very proud of flexing your boundary muscles! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon That was really smart to reach out to your friend for support when things were so tense, and then to ask him again to return the key when things were calmer between you--and to clearly express your position. I'm so happy for you!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
215
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140
HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 40,329
1/7/20 6:51 P

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emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Amanda!!!!! You handle it very well! I'm proud of you my friend!!

Well I have a victory...I got my key back from J. Last night he crossed boundaries that had me extremely upset. I asked for my key back. He got mad and packed a bunch of his stuff up. I was on the phone with my best friend while he did this. He started saying ugly things towards me. I was in tears. My best friend kept me calm while soothing me with soft reassurance that I was going to be okay and to not interact while he packed and said mean things. When he left he didn't give me my key back. I let it go....I was just glad he was gone.

Anyway, today I took him to pick up his medicine. We came back here to my apartment for a short bit. He asked me if I really was still mad over what happened. I told him that I was more sad than anything. I made things clear about why I had gotten so upset. I then asked for my key back. He gave it back with no fuss. He left a few minutes later. I have my apartment to myself this evening and it feels really good. We're still friends. I'm making it a priority to set in place better boundaries. I feel like getting my key back is a pretty darn good start! emoticon

Cynthia

South Carolina The Palmetto State
Eastern Time


Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 February SparkPoints: 1,760
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1/7/20 12:40 A

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Well I'm pretty proud of myself. Today was very stressful at work. For the first 2.5 hours it was just 2 of us, me and a float who was off all last week with the flu. We were joined by one more person. And unknown to us, one of the WIC clinics that will be going mobile to other locations 2 days a week now has their phones programmed so that we get ALL of their calls, all the time, instead of supposedly just brand new people getting registered. Needless to say, the calls backed up and were constant the entire day. I checked maybe 2 Infolinx out of 30 calls, and registered a number of new clients in Cascades (the WIC registration system) and in Epic.

The pride came in the talk I gave myself during my afternoon break. I remembered something a dear Spark Friend mentioned ( emoticon Cynthia!) about trying not to let things that weren't in her control (like coworkers) get her down. I realized I could let myself get stuck in frustration and bum myself out, or basically shrug it off as just what is, and think about what I want to do for me when I get home. So rather than hitting the snack food and reading, I played with Dora, made tea, meditated--for the first time in weeks? months?--then got in a couple of timer sessions before doing a cardio sculpt workout with Amy, making a big dinner salad, and doing another timer session with receipts--organizing them to log in later.

So a very successful evening, and I'm feeling OK: a bit tired, but not negative or stressed. So emoticon me! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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1/6/20 12:35 A

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Mainly chores around here. 2 loads of laundry (2 flights down to the laundry room), and I had to take an emoticon with me to take out trash and add emoticon to the laundry card before I could dry the clothes. Hung lingerie and holiday spangled sweaters on racks, put away everything else. Also grocery emoticon and library emoticon run. Got a nap in. Prepped salad extras for the next 2 work lunches while making one for dinner tonight. Earlier I "decanted" the veggie broth I cooked up yesterday--strained into several jars: dark purple as usual, from the outer leaves of the emoticon I chop for salads. Also did a 24-minute workout by Amy. Productive day.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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1/4/20 10:48 P

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emoticon MPETERSON2004 emoticon Let us know if you have a name you'd like us to use. What weights did you get? Years ago I bought (at different times) pairs of 1#, 2#, 3# and 5#. I gifted the 1s to my sister a while back. Then last year, I got a graduated set that can go up to 25# each, but I've only gone as high as 6.25.

I've did a 38-minute strength and cardio HIIT with Amy this morning, and yummy Chinese leftovers with extra veggies. I've done 10 timer sessions (5 minutes each; I am after all the founder of the Babysteps Brigade team!) of cleaning and decluttering, and 4 of working on my spending logs--setting up the new one for 2020 and tracking in the 2019 one where I got really behind! I also had a nap. I'm pausing for dinner, but will be back.
emoticon
Yum! Just had 2 helpings of my New Year's black-eyed peas and collard greens--with extra veggies added tonight, to go with the ones I cooked up on Wednesday: more red pepper, a little bit of purple yam, a white carrot, some celery and green onion and fresh Italian parsley, plus a couple slices of pastrami I want to use up, to go with the cubed ham in the original batch. I topped each bowl with TJ's shredded Swiss and Gruyere cheese! Double yum!
emoticon
I'm feeling pretty satisfied. I accomplished a fair amount today. The kitchen and trash area are cleaner and less cluttered now. Living room floor is a little bit clearer. There's lots more to do, but I'm excited to get more done--just not tonight, since my energy has dipped now. I might get a thank you written or a little more tracking done, but not much else other than finishing Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. So enjoying this reading through the series again. My mind will sometimes jump ahead to events I know I'll be revisiting soon.
emoticon emoticon
Wishing everyone a fabulous Sunday! emoticon emoticon

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 1/4/2020 (23:22)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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1/4/20 3:30 P

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Hello. I enjoyed reading this forum and everyone's plans. Gives me some good ideas. Hope everyone is doing well. I treated myself to some sushi today. Glad to relax before work starts again for me on the 7th. Also, bought some dumbbells. I just need to get back in the habit of checking SP daily.

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1/4/20 2:40 P

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emoticon for sharing your similar experiences and thoughts--it helps! emoticon Glad you enjoyed your coloring. emoticon Hope you enjoy your day, whatever you end up doing.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 40,329
1/4/20 1:12 P

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I think it's fun when you're making progress. No weirdness there...and if it is...then you and I are both weird together! emoticon

emoticon getting so much done. I'm glad you acknowledged and listened to the little girl about the disappointment. I think 5 minutes is awesome! emoticon emoticon

I can relate with the frustration of people being out at work and also people not doing their job fully. When I worked retail and had co-workers that didn't show up, called out often or just didn't do their job,. It added a lot of pressure. I admit I had trouble with resentment. I just reminded myself that I was giving it my best and that I could o only focus on what I had control over. I tried looking at the positives that these co-workers brought to the job. (Some were just teeny things) . But it kind of helped.

It's a nice day out today. I am grateful for sunshine after 2 days of gloomy rain. I am not sure what I will do today other than work on step study questions. I managed to clear just enough space to work on them. I also used the space to color in my dachshund coloring book that was a gift from my best friend. Coloring really relaxed me.

I might go to the restaurant tonight to listen to the owner's band play. They play after hours. We'll just wait and see! emoticon

Hope you have a great day!

Cynthia

South Carolina The Palmetto State
Eastern Time


Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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1/4/20 12:29 P

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I did finally do one timer session last night--only 5 minutes, but made a tiny bit of progress, and I felt very relieved. I haven't been doing much parts work lately; I had been so focused on the job hunt and keeping hope and energy for that up, that my journaling followed a pretty standard format: accomplishments, gratitude list, plans & emotional status, then 21-line Breathing in the Day [affirmations]. But I had a young part speak up on Thursday morning, timidly expressing disappointment over talking about timer sessions, but actually doing very few, and not making much progress. She was sad about not honoring a commitment to ourself and letting ourselves down. I think that's why it felt so good to get one done last night. The practical difference was small, but the symbol was important.

I've actually put in several sessions this morning, and I'm feeling pretty excited about it! I'm having fun. That may seem weird, but so what. (I'm mentally picturing my kid parts sticking out their tongues.) In therapy, when I did a lot of conscious parts work, I referred to this group as the Peanut Gallery: they wouldn't say much, but went in for sound effects & movement--cheers, stamping, whoops, jumping up & down. They're pretty entertaining.
emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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158.75
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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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1/3/20 10:45 P

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Sounds like you are making good progress, and finding some good deals, too emoticon And emoticon for the support and acknowledgement on my timer session last night. I've been disappointed in not accomplishing more the last couple days, and now tonight I'm resisting. I'm tired, and admittedly kind of mad at various coworkers for not being there (2 out, and I don't think both were planned) and for not updating and verifying all the data--especially insurance--like we're supposed to. I could never really catch up today. I don't like feeling frustrated and resentful, but I'm kind of stuck there right now. I could use some help refocusing.

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 40,329
1/3/20 12:52 P

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emoticon Getting a timer session in!.Timer sessions are great! I find them to be so helpful and manageable.

Rainy, foggy day so I am staying in today! Have had my coffee. Starbucks pumpkin spice. Pretty good. The nice thing is that I didn't pay 9 or 10 dollars. J found it at our discount grocery store for $2.50.

I really need to work on my Step study questions. I'm way behind. Will clear a space on my table and work on them some time this afternoon.

Yesterday,ran a lot of errands. Just banking, going to the pet supply store for cat food, a little bit of grocery shopping. One fun errand was going to the Habitat for humanity Resale shop. I enjoyed walking around looking at all the neat things for the home. Not everything is just for building. They have books, furniture, and decorative items for the home, and dishes, home goods. I found some really pretty bowls (Nice for cereal, soup). I am excited by the find.

Hope y'all have a great day!.
Hugs!

Edited by: HLTHAPPINESS4C at: 1/3/2020 (12:54)
Cynthia

South Carolina The Palmetto State
Eastern Time


Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 February SparkPoints: 1,760
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1/3/20 12:24 A

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Glad you had a nice day.

Had a good day at work. I'm enjoying having my most used documents at my fingertips now. And I caught up with logging, and set up new file folders for 2020 records. Realized I left my jar of coffee grounds in the fridge at home, so took my wallet and reusable coffee mug down to the gym with me--even my glasses and book--and swung by Diva Espresso in the lobby, chuckling over Good Omens while I waited. That's my bus and work book, a gift, and I'm thoroughly enjoying it! I'm chuckling out loud frequently. I don't know if it's Gaiman or Pratchett who's so funny--or if it's both of them!
emoticon
Did Amy's standing abs workout with dumbbells--I really like this short one. Also did a timer session and got a couple of tasks completed. Feeling good about making progress. I changed some of my Other Goals, and enjoy getting to mark of tasks for Spark Points as well as tracking in my new Organized Chaos planner.
emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 40,329
1/2/20 11:06 A

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Amanda~ 2 movies in one day..oh what fun!! I'd like to see Frozen 2. I also would like to see Little Women. emoticon emoticon getting such a great workout in!

I'm doing okay. Yesterday J and I went out running around to various stores for some tools he'd been wanting for a while. One of the places we stopped by was Wal-Mart. I got bored looking at tools and such so I wandered around a bit looking at household items and clothing. I got in a lot of walking. I didn't buy a thing, although I found a really nice candle that I liked.

Last night I watched a show on Netflix.

No plans for the day as of yet. Am relaxing with my coffee right now.

Have a great day everyone!

Cynthia

South Carolina The Palmetto State
Eastern Time


Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 February SparkPoints: 1,760
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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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1/1/20 9:09 P

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I did a brand new workout by Amy (link on the YouTube videos thread) this morning--long & challenging. Had Chinese leftovers with extra veggies, then off to the mall to see 2 movies--Frozen 2 and Jumanji: The Next Level. Both delightful! Especially awesome on the big screen. Saw some fun previews, too! Took my own seltzer and plain water, a popcorn single (from a big box of 28 single serving bags from Costco) for each movie, and a banana. So cheap and low cal eats. Went by Claire's and actually found a last jingle bell bracelet to replace mine that broke, plus some fun sparkly holiday barrettes at 75% off! Got home (not even any rain to deal with), made mostly decaf afternoon coffee, read in my Harry Potter #4 book and just hennaed my hair. I'll be rinsing it out in a little over half an hour. Then I want to put in a few timer sessions--a routine I hope to become more disciplined with. Oh, and cook up my black-eyed peas and greens-plus. Hope y'all are enjoying your New Year's!

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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158.75
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12/31/19 10:37 P

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emoticon Yay for your sponsor, and yay you for calling her! So glad you had a good evening of fellowship and celebrating recovery. emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon
I don't plan to stay up tonight. I will make my traditional black-eyed peas and collard greens tomorrow, for good luck and prosperity. (Of course, I make a kitchen sink version, with plenty of rainbow colors!)

As I mentioned in my gratitude list today, I'm thankful we had fewer calls, and the 2 who were out yesterday came, but one who was there yesterday came in at lunch. Ian was there, though, so we did fine, and I got to catch up, even rearranged my desk to fit the reference stand, similar to this:
www.displaysmarket.com/produ
ct/steel-s
tand-with-pet-pockets-85x11-
for-de
sktop/

I removed the old phone lists Jennifer had, and put in a bunch of documents I had put in sheet protectors that I gathered on a ring. They tended to get twisted up before, or would get piled on; they are easier to flip through now. And then Ian let us go at 4 again! I got back a little after that from break, then put on boots, closed out all the computer programs and packed up, but I got home before full dark, which was very nice!

Happy New Year, everyone! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 40,329
12/31/19 12:33 A

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Amanda ~ I love fun, unique journals..and super fun pens! I would have been in heaven spending the day with you the day you went to Barnes and noble and the office store.

M. Peterson I look forward to getting to know you!

I had a good day once I called my sponsor. I had been feeling really down and tearful. I called her and she called me out (In a most kind and compassionate way) on my wanting to isolate. She talked me into getting out. So I showered, got ready for the day. (3 in the afternoon. ) Around 4:45 she picked me up. We first went to Starbucks and hung out for awhile chatting over our drinks my tea...her frappucinno) . Afterwards, we went to Celebrate Recovery. Had dinner there and then large and small group. Both were wonderful. Boy did I feel much better after that. I'm very grateful.

Tomorrow I see my therapist.

Goodnight!


Cynthia

South Carolina The Palmetto State
Eastern Time


Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 February SparkPoints: 1,760
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12/30/19 10:04 P

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It's always lovely when we can support each other, often by just sharing what we are facing and the things we are trying, and what's helping and what's not. If you are feeling inspired, I'm thrilled!

Well, I proudly remembered my contribution to the unit breakfast potluck to say goodbye to Jennifer who got a promotion (but is only moving to the west side of the 10th floor). But Ian was out (he left his potato and egg dish in the fridge, where he brought it in on Sunday), and 2 coworkers called in sick--so there were only 3 of us, with Jennifer occasionally helping, though she was mainly moving over to her new desk and getting that set up. It wasn't until after 4 that I made my phone available and didn't immediately get a call that had been waiting in the queue. So it was an exhausting day! I wanted to clear my desk and find a place for a reference stand Jennifer left for me (it stands up and has clear pages for sliding documents you refer to all the time and can flip between), but I only ever managed to get half my desk wiped off, and I couldn't keep up with checking Infolinx; it's been a long time since I couldn't get that done the same day. At least we know everyone should be there tomorrow if they want to get paid for the holiday, so I can hopefully get caught up!

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 12/30/2019 (22:19)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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158.75
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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 40,329
12/30/19 9:24 P

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Hello and welcome M Peterson emoticon emoticon

Cynthia

South Carolina The Palmetto State
Eastern Time


Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 February SparkPoints: 1,760
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12/29/19 11:39 P

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Hello. New to this team, but a vet to Sparkpeople and SparkTeams. I am feeling a bit drained today after a run in with the ex, but I was reading some posts and I feel inspired for tomorrow to be a better day.

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12/29/19 9:39 P

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Not sure why I was having little bitty back twinges this morning, but instead of a more intense weighted workout, I went with a short beginner cardio one by Amy (link in another thread). Did a little journaling in a new journal, since I left the current one at Mary's yesterday. emoticon I'm hoping we can meet in between soon to swap it back, and maybe catch a movie, since there a several good ones out I'd like to see. Yummy Chinese leftovers for breakfast, then off on errands.

Barnes and Nobles for half off planner and holiday cards--small and a cute design I couldn't resist! Next door to Office Depot for fun colored pens for journaling and maybe letters. Then over to Burien for groceries--only Safeway and TJ's today. Then the library for one book on hold and a couple from the impulse display. I saw a couple of books there that I've already read and really enjoyed, and I also returned 2 I got there, including the just finished and much enjoyed The Curious Heart of Ailsa Rae about a Scottish heart transplant recipient.

Napped, finished Harry Potter #3 (I'm rereading the series in hardcover at home) with afternoon coffee. I've texted a little, done minor housework tasks, and just did another short, easy workout with Amy, her 10 minute standing abs. As she says, it's good for people who can't easily, or aren't in a good location to, get down on the floor, but it also has a mild cardio element, plus works the arms and legs a little in addition to the abs. Will have yummy leftovers from yesterday, plus a salad for dinner. Tomorrow I'm doing the same job, but as a brand new career employee!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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Posts: 18,969
12/28/19 8:58 P

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Praying for the way to become clear, Cynthia, and sending much positive, loving energy your way! emoticon emoticon emoticon

I got in a 25 minute low impact HIIT workout with Amy before a late-ish breakfast. Had packed up the gifts, so pulled food to take, and got on the road in good time down to University Place (near Tacoma). The drive was easy and mostly sunny until just before getting off the freeway, where the fog was thick.

We exchanged gifts, and I got a new bright lime green rolling tote bag, since the wheels on my years-old model are breaking down. That was big enough for the rest of my goodies to fit in for coming home. While the quiche was baking, we each enjoyed a yummy shrimp shumai I bought from Dim Sum King yesterday, and they have 3 more to enjoy later. Mary and I also broke into one of the games I got her--Taboo, which we play in our own 2-person version. I made an enhanced (extra veggies) roasted garlic salad to go with the scrumptious crab quiche. Sparkling cranberry apple juice complimented the meal. I didn't have room for the Nantucket cranberry pie I brought (from Trader Joe's, where else), so brought some home, along with a last piece of quiche.

I left ~ 3:30, stopping at Freddy's for a caffeine hit at the Starbucks there, then took the route I discovered and printed out, going through Puyallup on highways 512 & 617. Very easy, and a less stressful drive, especially in wet weather--though it was dry today! All in all a lovely visit and totally fun day!

Edited by: BLESSEDBEING at: 12/28/2019 (20:58)
Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
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196.25
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158.75
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HLTHAPPINESS4C's Photo HLTHAPPINESS4C Posts: 40,329
12/28/19 1:09 P

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Have a wonderful time with Mary and her hubby! Sounds a fun day is in store. I hope it doesn't rain. Driving in the rain is difficult for me as it makes me rather nervous. Prayers for safe travels.

I'm feeling a gloomy cloud of anxiety and stress. Finances are not in order. Car needs repair, tooth has cavity and last night discovered another tooth has a hole in it....no clue what will be needed to be done. I received some money as gifts...Very grateful...but I still am very short from what I need. I need to trust that God will provide...make a way...Yet I'm really struggling to trust in that. I have shed tears and been in a pity party because I'm tired of struggling most of the time with anxiety of finances. Okay enough of that...

In less than an hour I am meeting a great friend of mine at Starbucks (another dear friend gifted me with a SB gift card! Yayyy!!! ) I'm looking forward to seeing her and spending the afternoon with her. I need to push that gloomy cloud away and focus on a fun time ahead today.

Will stop on our team page to work on gratitude list since I have much to ponder on how much I have to be grateful for. Will do that later.

Peace and blessings !



Cynthia

South Carolina The Palmetto State
Eastern Time


Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 February SparkPoints: 1,760
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1987.5
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BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
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12/28/19 12:20 A

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I did a little research to see how to get home from Mary's without getting on the freeway, in case it's raining tomorrow when I'm coming home. I wasn't sure if the Hwy 99 bridge is fixed yet. I learned a completely new way to do it, going Highway 152 then 167. It's about 10 miles longer, and supposedly 14 minutes longer when I was looking. I'm eager to try it in the daylight sometime. I have a little food prep in the morning; but I've got most stuff ready.

I was successful in picking up shumai from the dim sum cafe, so will be able to take some to share with Mary and Brian. I've reached a point where I just don't want to work anymore, and just want to relax. I've been indulging in more treats than usual, and am up a little in weight. My exercise intensity has backed off a little bit as well. I'm hoping to shift these trends gradually in the other directions! Just not tonight!
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Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
BLESSEDBEING's Photo BLESSEDBEING SparkPoints: (303,712)
Fitness Minutes: (242,946)
Posts: 18,969
12/26/19 10:57 P

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Your day sounds lovely, Cynthia! I had to hunt for my holiday videos (from the move when I got the new TV), but finally found them, and watched White Christmas last night--so much nicer on the big screen!
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Well I'm already spending my pay raise--I signed the new rental agreement that starts on Jan 1. So relieved it will be mostly offset, and that we'll get a cost of living bump soon as well, that will continue to help out!
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I'm looking forward to spending Saturday with Mary and Brian, exchanging gifts, having Mary's marvelous crab quiche. I'm bringing that Roasted Garlic salad (plus a few extras)--and of course you can use the blog for a new challenge; I like that I shared the quote I heard from you, which you credited to Sesame Street about "eating your rainbow"--and a couple of TJ's desserts, as well as sparkling apple cranberry juice. Oh, and I'm going to go by Dim Sum King tomorrow when I get my Chinese takeout for lunch, and pick up some of their shumai; I want to introduce DS and BIL to them!
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Blessed Be, Amanda

"I love myself the way I am, and still I want to grow;
But change outside can only come when deep inside I know:
I'm beautiful and capable of being the best me I can,
And I love myself just the way I am."

[by Jai Josefs in his amazing song I Love Myself the Way I Am]

Co-leader of the Babysteps Brigade (BBs), A Gathering of Goddesses (GGs), Survivors of Abuse (SAssies) teams.


 current weight: 149.4 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
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