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2/16/09 7:04 P

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I'm of the opinion that if someone has travelled a long way to attend your wedding, the least you can do is provide them with dinner.

If your parents are not willing to let you pay the difference of the extra guests, they can't say no to you having these extra guests. They need to suck up their pride and realise that it's a bigger insult to your guests to say, "Sorry, my parents won't pay for you to come to dinner" than it is to your parents for you to pay for these guests.

Got married May 30th, 2009!

Co-captain of the Buff Brides team! All brides-to-be are more than welcome.

 current weight: 135.6 
2/16/09 6:58 A

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I posted this on the Brides to Be forum as well, but I could use as much advice as possible. Hope you don't mind! :)

Okay, so here's my problem. A long time ago my parents offered to pay for the dinner. They didn't have to, but I was of course ecstatic. The thing is, my parents offered this while under the pretense that there would be a separate 'dinner guest list' that narrowed it down to the closest guests, and would obviously narrow down the cost.

Problem: the more myself, my fiance, and my FMIL look at the list, the more we agree that it's not really worth leaving anyone out!

You see, there are about 200 people on our ceremony guest list. Of those 200, about 120 are family - grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. Because my fiance and I are both very close to our families (almost everyone lives nearby and we see them often), all of those 120 pretty much have to be invited to the dinner.

Of the 80 left, there are about 30 who are not-so-close family or friends; traditionally these are people who would probably not be invited to the dinner, but the problem is that they all live away. So basically, we figure it would be rude to say, "Hey, thanks for driving hundreds of miles to come to the ceremony, now go elsewhere and feed yourself." Right? Right.

Of the 50 or so that are left out of that, there are about 20 who are very close friends/family friends who would be devastated to be left out of any of the celebration.

Of the final 30, they're almost entirely people that either set of parents work with; people whom my fiance and I grew up around and our parents think strongly should come to all of the celebration.

So basically, if we go through the list one by one, we can find about...ten people who don't have a good reason to come to the dinner.

This doesn't bother me or my fiance; we both think 'the more the merrier', and I personally would love to have a huge dinner with everyone invited. The problem is that my parents are still paying for it.

My father tends to stay out of the conversations and not really voice his opinion, but my mother still insists that we should narrow it down to a dinner guest list. She doesn't seem to accept the fact that there aren't enough people who don't have to come to make it worth not inviting them. And $20 says that if I showed her the list and asked her who exactly she thinks we should cross off, she'd just narrow in on my FMIL's half of the list and turn into a total bitch saying, "Well who the hell are all these people? Why do THEY need to come?", while still insisting that her girls from work come. -_-

Any ideas? I'm going home to do a bunch of wedding stuff this weekend and I know this is going to come up and I'm really not looking forward to the impending argument.

P.S. I've offered, if they think the cost is too high to invite everyone, that we could split the cost, but they seem to see that as a bit of an insult, since they've already offered to pay for it.

Starting at 165 lbs on April 14th, 2013.

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