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CAERYN's Photo CAERYN Posts: 121
8/9/10 3:35 P

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It's nice to hear that it worked out so smoothly :-) We're still pretty far out from our date but we've been trying to be diplomatically honest right up front about the nature of the event. Everyone seems to be taking it pretty well so far so I'm optimistic that we won't hurt anyone's feelings irreparably. As it turns out, even deeply devoted parents seem to recognize that their own fun will be severely curtailed if they have children in tow for a Las Vegas weekend :-)

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MARISAJOY's Photo MARISAJOY Posts: 442
8/4/10 8:20 A

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Great question!

None of my guests assumed their kids were invited and brought them anyways, which is great. A few of my cousins respectfully declined the wedding invitation, rather than hire a baby-sitter or come without kids & husband for the wedding, which I figure is completely their choice. Others made it a reason to have a great night without the kids!

Got married May 30th, 2009!

Co-captain of the Buff Brides team! All brides-to-be are more than welcome.


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CAERYN's Photo CAERYN Posts: 121
7/21/10 6:29 P

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I know it's been a long time since this topic was active but it caught my eye because my fiancÚ and I have been having this discussion on and off...

What I'm wondering is how *not* inviting children played out for other couples? Did you have a lot of folks presume their kids were included on the invite? If so, what did you do? How did it turn out?

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MARISAJOY's Photo MARISAJOY Posts: 442
10/8/08 10:53 P

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I've read the etiquette stuff and am totally still dreading it too. It is hard telling people that their whole family won't be invited, but in the end I hope they will understand my decision.

Got married May 30th, 2009!

Co-captain of the Buff Brides team! All brides-to-be are more than welcome.


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BOXINGJEWELS's Photo BOXINGJEWELS Posts: 557
10/8/08 9:25 A

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I would just say to address the invite as "Mr & Mrs..." and hopefully that will be enough for them to realize the kids aren't invited. I have cousins who RSVP their kids even if the invite is just to the adults. You would then have to call them and say that the kids are invited.

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UMICH95's Photo UMICH95 Posts: 109
10/8/08 9:14 A

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I'm with you on this Marisa, and I'm also a little nervous about the results, but... the "Miss Manners" types say that you send the invite with the *invited* people's names on the inner envelope. And if someone responds that a higher number of people are going to attend, you're supposed to call them up and explain that the kids aren't invited. I'm dreading it but I know that's just what will have to be done.

(My fiance is taking it so far that he thinks his *only* nephew and Goddaughter shouldn't be invited either! I think that might be pushing it a bit - we'll see what happens on them...)

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MARISAJOY's Photo MARISAJOY Posts: 442
10/8/08 8:04 A

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That's what I ended up deciding too - first cousins only. The youngest guest will be 9.

I should've been more clear though. I'm not budging on the "not inviting kids" thing and am not really worried that I'm doing differently than others. What I need advice on is how to actually let my cousin know that her kids aren't invited.

Got married May 30th, 2009!

Co-captain of the Buff Brides team! All brides-to-be are more than welcome.


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BOXINGJEWELS's Photo BOXINGJEWELS Posts: 557
10/7/08 9:47 P

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We are inviting first cousins who are kids - but tthe youngest would be 7. Our ring bears who will be 2 &3 will only be going to the cocktail hour. I say do what you want to do and don't worry about what other people have done. It's your wedding so enjoy it!!

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MARISAJOY's Photo MARISAJOY Posts: 442
10/7/08 8:05 P

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Hey ladies! Just wanted to get some discussion going for the team!

My fiance and I are not planning on inviting kids to the wedding. My family is just too big, and addings kids to the guestlist means adding about 20 extra people! We've also chosen a really pricey hall and we won't be finished our formal dinner and speeches until about 8:30, so by the time dancing begins, it's getting too late for the kids anyways. Finally, the hall is rather far from hotels, so it's not like the parents would be able to put the kids to bed and then come back.

BUT this is going to cause some controversy in my family, I think. Most of my cousins *did* invite kids to their weddings, and probably expect me to do the same, especially since I get along with all of the kids really well. I know one cousin, in particular, will be upset that her kids won't be invited - especially since I've heard rumours that she's told her 5-year-old son that he is invited. Any tips on how to deal with this?

And I was also wondering, are you inviting kids to your wedding? Why or why not?

Got married May 30th, 2009!

Co-captain of the Buff Brides team! All brides-to-be are more than welcome.


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