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JENNIFER.DULL's Photo JENNIFER.DULL Posts: 168
8/29/08 8:34 P

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That's an excellent point - we tried to keep our guest list to people that WE BOTH at least knew - it's super hard to keep it to people you are both close to - but I wanted to try to keep it to people that we had at least both met!

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8/29/08 8:26 P

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our list will be about 50-75 people but I am really hoping it's closer to the 50 mark. As much as I'd love to have a hundred people that don't know when my birthday is, doesn't know my fiancees name and only want to get liquored up I think I am going to have to pass. I mean I wanted to "elope" in the first place so 50 people is still a stretch.

"An it harm none, do what thou wilt."


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MARISAJOY's Photo MARISAJOY Posts: 442
8/26/08 10:18 A

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We're only going to be having the wedding party, immediate family and other people involved in the wedding. It'll look something like this:

Josh and me,
the 2 maids of honour,
the 2 best men,
the 2 ushers (one of which is my brother),
2 other brothers (one is mine and one is Josh's),
4 parents,
3 girls (the girlfriend, fiancee and wife of the brothers),
1 photographer/honourary bridesmaid,
1 musician/honourary groomsman

That makes 19 of us in total! I think we're going to be doing take-out from our favourite restaurant because there's a lot of us and I think we'd be more comfortable at my mom's home. I know neither my mom nor I will feel like cooking so take-out seems like the best option.

Got married May 30th, 2009!

Co-captain of the Buff Brides team! All brides-to-be are more than welcome.


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STEKETEE09's Photo STEKETEE09 Posts: 77
8/26/08 1:41 A

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I agree with you, wedding party and close family. Chris' parents are paying for the dinner and its the wedding party(not their dates to the wedding) both sides of parents and grand parents.

*~Alyssa~*


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GENKA81's Photo GENKA81 Posts: 1,708
8/25/08 11:18 P

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His stepfather is paying for ours. It will be the wedding party, my sister, his brother, our moms, my dad, and his stepdad. That's all I told them to invite.

I don't think this dinner should be for anyone other then the people that are in the wedding party and the close family. Just my opinion though.



XOXO,

Jen

"NOTHING taste as good as being skinny feels!" Terrah

Dec 27- 197
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Jan 21- 187

March 1st Goal- 170


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LANGFR's Photo LANGFR SparkPoints: (0)
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8/25/08 7:32 P

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We are keeping the rehearsal as small as possible. My FI and I have decided that apart from his father only people who are in the bridal party or playing a vital part will be there - so not even my mother will be invited. Just my sisters, my father, MOH, BM FI, me, Flowergirls, my brother and FI's sister and priest.
I don't think we will do a dinner. Our other groomsman doesn't arrive until halfway through the rehearsal. We might just fire up the BBQ at home for people, nut nothing flash.

Goal 1 = 92 kg
Goal 2 = 85 kg
Goal 3 = 75 kg
"little changes make big differences"


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ROSEANE1's Photo ROSEANE1 SparkPoints: (0)
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8/25/08 3:50 P

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well were paying for it and it will be at our house. So I am guessing DF will want his out of towners there. I am going to suggest they come after we practice because I want it to be as much of a surprise to those that aren't in it. We are getting married at our home in the garden in our backyard.

With God all good things come to those that wait.


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LESSOFJOSIE Posts: 2,463
8/25/08 12:24 P

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Oh noooooooooo! I haven't thought of that! Crap! Well I would say that it is up to you and your fiance and whoever is paying for the rehearsal dinner.
I have to think about that question myself now! We have a lot of out of towners on my fiance Tony's side. We may have to invite them because all of them are staying with Tony's parents, and we had planned to have a rehersal dinner at their house....that is a lot of people!!!!










JENNIFER.DULL's Photo JENNIFER.DULL Posts: 168
8/25/08 12:10 P

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inviting the out of towners to the rehearsal dinner is totally up to you (and whoever is paying for the dinner) we decided not to invite them because I wanted it to be an opportunity for the bridal party to spend time together :)

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8/25/08 12:08 P

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I just sent the local one's out this past Saturday so now I will have to see what type of response I get. I hope that those that told me at my shower this past Saturday that they will see me at the wedding is their RSVP????

We receive 1 back from the out of town shipment; they are coming. My next question is do the out of town people come to the rehearsal dinner?

Edited by: ROSEANE1 at: 8/25/2008 (12:06)
With God all good things come to those that wait.


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LESSOFJOSIE Posts: 2,463
8/25/08 11:17 A

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I sure could use one!! emoticon










LANGFR's Photo LANGFR SparkPoints: (0)
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8/24/08 11:28 P

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I'll be taking enrollments for my online classes from now on. - Course is free and conducted via email. emoticon Who else needs a drink?!?

Goal 1 = 92 kg
Goal 2 = 85 kg
Goal 3 = 75 kg
"little changes make big differences"


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GENKA81's Photo GENKA81 Posts: 1,708
8/24/08 11:22 P

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OMG I support the RSVP class, too.

I sent mine out about a month ago. And still have majority of them still out there waiting to be sent to me. It's soooo annoying! His mom is telling a lot of them that they don't need to send them, and she'll just tell us if they are coming or not. WHY WOULD WE WASTE THE STAMP THEN???? Obviously we want a response!!!!

And my FI told all his work buddies that they don't have to send it. I mean come on!!! He knows it's driving me crazy.

Why do people do that??? Everyday I am looking for something in the mail. UGH! I told them by Sept. 1st, so once that day comes... the emails and the phone calls are going out.



XOXO,

Jen

"NOTHING taste as good as being skinny feels!" Terrah

Dec 27- 197
Jan 6- 193
Jan 14- 190
Jan 21- 187

March 1st Goal- 170


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LESSOFJOSIE Posts: 2,463
8/24/08 9:41 P

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I just sent out the invitation to the wedding so I will soon learn who in my family needs the rsvp education lol

It's nuts!!!! I have to admit though, my dad never send those invites when our family is having a function emoticon

I will have to punish him next time he does that!!!!










JENNIFER.DULL's Photo JENNIFER.DULL Posts: 168
8/24/08 8:13 P

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I support the RSVP education class! I started making calls - but a lot of the people that haven't responded are my fiances people so I don't know them! So I asked him to start making some calls too!

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8/24/08 7:26 P

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Sadl I think that a lot of people havelost manners when it comes to RSVP's. I was horrified when I called my mother (MY MOTHER!!!) to ask who out of my family was coming to hear hear say that she had told my brother (who is still quite impressionable at the age of 16) that you dont have to send them back! It seems that half of my guestlist has not even looked at them. I spoke to my father who was saying that my uncle wanted to call me and let me know he couldn't make it and had been asking for my phone number. I pointed out to my father that my phone number was on the RSVP card and he agreed that my uncle probably hadn't looked at it.
I have asked everyone to RSVP by Sept so that I have a month left to call everyone (over half the guestlist thus far) that hasn't sent it back or at least called or emailed me to let me know either way.
I think girls, we need to start an RSVP education to friends and family. People seem to have forgotten how to be polite!

Goal 1 = 92 kg
Goal 2 = 85 kg
Goal 3 = 75 kg
"little changes make big differences"


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MARISAJOY's Photo MARISAJOY Posts: 442
8/22/08 10:22 P

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I would start calling immediately! As long as you are friendly on the phone and say things like, "I'm really hoping to see you at the wedding! I was wondering if you had happened to send the reply card?" or something like that, you can start calling and then you can work on your place cards and seating and such.

I am going to send a save-the-date to the friend but not the girlfriend. I agree that it is probably the best course of action.

Got married May 30th, 2009!

Co-captain of the Buff Brides team! All brides-to-be are more than welcome.


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JENNIFER.DULL's Photo JENNIFER.DULL Posts: 168
8/22/08 10:37 A

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Well actually my best friends mom is catering so I don't need the count till like 2 weeks before so like Sept 14th - but it is holding me up from doing the things I need to do like making the seating chart and the placecards and determining how many out of town gift baskets to make! I just feel like I'm stuck waiting! It's so frustrating!

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LESSOFJOSIE Posts: 2,463
8/22/08 10:23 A

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I hate that!!!
Well when do you need to give your caterer or banquet hall the number of guests attending?
For instance I have to have the number of guests by the last week of september, so I asked that everyone respond September 19, that way if they don't respond, I still have a week to call the stragelers that didn't send the rsvp's. Darn stragelers










JENNIFER.DULL's Photo JENNIFER.DULL Posts: 168
8/21/08 8:48 P

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We struggled so much coming up with our guest because we can only have 150 people - but it seems like most of the people that we invited aren't coming! UGH! The other problem that I am having is that people are not responding! I asked everyone to respond by 8/15 but guess what - I am still missing about half of my response cards! People are so annoying! How long do I wait to start harassing them?

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COURTNE44's Photo COURTNE44 Posts: 15
8/21/08 10:12 A

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I am getting married in less than 4 weeks! What I found is that a lot of people you expect to come can't come (especially if you have out of town guests). So only send save the dates to the people you definitely are going to invite and no need to send them to their guests.

Then have a list of people you want to invite but might not be able to if the numbers are too large (work people, etc.) I found being honest with people helped. I told some people I work with I wanted them there but due to my big family I didn't know if I could until I got RSVPs back. Well as of last week, we had a lot more no's and I was able to talk to them and invite them. They were not offended that I had to wait - they understood.

Right now, we invited 206 people and are only anticiating about 150-160 are going to come. It was less than I expected.

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STEKETEE09's Photo STEKETEE09 Posts: 77
8/20/08 5:49 P

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Chris and my list is at about 175-200...not including dates. So we are not going to do the and guest option cause maybe they will get the hint and if not they better bring another gift!! lol

*~Alyssa~*


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ROSEANE1's Photo ROSEANE1 SparkPoints: (0)
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8/20/08 11:51 A

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Send only to the guy and wait to see if he is with her closer to the wedding.

With God all good things come to those that wait.


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LESSOFJOSIE Posts: 2,463
8/20/08 10:03 A

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That is nutz!!
When you agree to be in a wedding party there are certain things that come with the territory.
when I stood up in weddings, I knew there were things I had to do, even if I didn't want to, because I agreed to stand up in the wedding.

I have problematic bm's too, I feel all of your pain! Luckily I have a few bm's I can count on.










LANGFR's Photo LANGFR SparkPoints: (0)
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8/19/08 11:44 P

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She sounds like my mother and my sister.

Goal 1 = 92 kg
Goal 2 = 85 kg
Goal 3 = 75 kg
"little changes make big differences"


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GENKA81's Photo GENKA81 Posts: 1,708
8/19/08 11:34 P

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We invited 120, but are hoping no more then 100 come. So far... 3 of the families we thought weren't going to come are coming after all, lol.

It's funny you say, does she expect for me to bend over backwards for her. Last night we had a well... disagreement I guess you can say. I was telling her how much stuff I had to do and how lucky I am to have one of my BM (the one that helps). Her response was, "that's nice, I guess." You guess? She then tells me, "its a husband and bride thing i dont get involved where i dont feel i should" I explained to her that the planning also includes the wedding party, and her response to that was... we already established that we have different views of what a wedding party is there for. And after that she stopped talking to me.

HOW RUDE!!!!



XOXO,

Jen

"NOTHING taste as good as being skinny feels!" Terrah

Dec 27- 197
Jan 6- 193
Jan 14- 190
Jan 21- 187

March 1st Goal- 170


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LANGFR's Photo LANGFR SparkPoints: (0)
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8/19/08 7:47 P

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Wait and see if they stay together. I think we have all experienced the guest list drama to an extent. (I know Genka81 and I have had real isues with snotty bridesmaids wanting to bring everyone they know). I think in the end you are going to offend someone even if you try really hard not to. My guest-list started out at 60 and then my FI's cousins hinted that they expected to be invited, and THEN my mother added another 30 people she wanted ( I vetoed ten of these and she got really annoyed), so we ended up with a guest list of 100 from our original 60. Luckily we have 12 decline thus far (we are hoping another 10-20 will decline, which is not a nice thing to say, but it's true).
Weddings are expensive. If someone gets offended, tell them that they are welcome to come if they pay their own way (and if you want to really get the point accross double what you are paying per head and tell them that's what they will need to pay your to cover their meal etc).

Sorry guys, I'm fed up and in a mean mood.

Goal 1 = 92 kg
Goal 2 = 85 kg
Goal 3 = 75 kg
"little changes make big differences"


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LESSOFJOSIE Posts: 2,463
8/19/08 5:53 P

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That is bananas!!! What the heck did she expect?????? For you to bend over backwards for her?

Some people just want a free party with food and liquor and that is it! I hate that!!!!! I mean if we were rich than everyone and their mama would be invited, but that is not the case people!!! Deal with it lol

I told people so many times about the sitution, but some people will not get it through their heads I guess.

Geez!

How many people are you inviting? I am at the max of 250 now.










GENKA81's Photo GENKA81 Posts: 1,708
8/19/08 4:23 P

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Exactly!!!!

Almost a year ago... I was telling one of my girls how I got my dress and we were talking about hair. She tells me well... her mom will be there anyway to help with her hair, and ohhhh now she has to buy her nephew a tux.

Ummmm hello?!?!?!?

A month after that I emailed the wedding party to tell them... we can't afford for them to bring guest, so unless they get an invite... they are not on the list. Please understand, and no kids, (hint hint). Everyone said, of course they understand... except this girl.

MONTHS MONTHS go by, and she finally responds to me... "what does that mean for me?" Ummm what???? Same thing it means for everyone. Then she asked if her family... which includes her mom, grandma, sister, and 2 nephews are invited. I said no and apologized it was to much for us to invite. (FYI- if I get a $20 gift from them I will be lucky) And she started going into... how could you do that, that's not cool... on and on. Unfortunately I am not THAT close with your family... get over it. To me and my FI, they would just come for a free party empty handed. and they are not worth my time.



XOXO,

Jen

"NOTHING taste as good as being skinny feels!" Terrah

Dec 27- 197
Jan 6- 193
Jan 14- 190
Jan 21- 187

March 1st Goal- 170


 current weight: 196.0 
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LESSOFJOSIE Posts: 2,463
8/19/08 1:47 P

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It's amazing how people just don't bother to care how much money is going into weddings!

I have a groomsmen who lives in another state who wants to bring his daughter, which is more than fine with me, plus she is under 3 so she wouldn't cost anything.

but then he wants to bring the babys mama, I can even understand that. Then he asks if he can bring the babys mama's parents....and her grandparents......ummmm nooooooooooooooooooo!

Does he think I am made of money???????
Geez










GENKA81's Photo GENKA81 Posts: 1,708
8/19/08 10:55 A

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I was struggling a lot, too. I also took out the plus ones for the single people...some who got really offended (some BMs). I could honestly care less, cause they don't understand the cost... even if I explain it to them.

I would send it to just him and wait till the wedding gets closer to see if they are still together. No question!

Good luck hun!




XOXO,

Jen

"NOTHING taste as good as being skinny feels!" Terrah

Dec 27- 197
Jan 6- 193
Jan 14- 190
Jan 21- 187

March 1st Goal- 170


 current weight: 196.0 
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183.5
176.75
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LESSOFJOSIE Posts: 2,463
8/19/08 10:17 A

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Heck yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My list is huge!!!!!

I would send a save the date to just the guy and see what happens closer to the wedding date to see if they are still together.










MARISAJOY's Photo MARISAJOY Posts: 442
8/19/08 9:14 A

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Is anyone else struggling with them? I had no problem creating the guest list, of course, but I'm having problems keeping it a reasonable size!

I decided not to write "and guest" on single's invitations because my wedding is quite expensive and I just can't afford it.

That said, I have this one good friend who has a girlfriend that I feel like I should invite, and that's because I had a couple of classes with her in university. I still don't know her *that* well and probably wouldn't invite her if he wasn't dating her. Well, here's the trouble: I'm getting to the point where I'll be sending save-the-dates soon (hence wanting to figure out the guest list) and they both live out of town. Do I send a save-the-date to each of them? Or do I send one just to him, and wait until closer to the wedding to see if they're still together?

Got married May 30th, 2009!

Co-captain of the Buff Brides team! All brides-to-be are more than welcome.


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