Group photo
Author:
COLLEEN941's Photo COLLEEN941 Posts: 837
9/22/08 8:20 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
We are not having Bmaids or groomsmen. The planning has been on the two of us. We will not have a bachelorette or bachelor party. We don't feel like we are missing out on anything. Personally, I feel like it has been less stressful, not having bridal attendees for the wedding. The mothers will be seated by the groom, once they are seated he will go to front of chapel and my father will walk me to him.

 current weight: 136.4 
152
146.5
141
135.5
130
RILES5505's Photo RILES5505 Posts: 423
9/5/08 10:23 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thanks, our kids are 14, 14, 16 and 19!! I think it will be too, they are great!!!!

Yeah, my family is flying in so...I can't wait, they will be here for 4 days!!!! So just being able to hang with all them will be perfect!!! :) I do not need all the pomp and fuss ya know??

'A lily among the thorns' Song of Solomon


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
0
21.125
42.25
63.375
84.5
MARISAJOY's Photo MARISAJOY Posts: 442
9/5/08 10:21 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I think it's great that you're involving your children in your wedding party! That will make it so special! But I am glad you're still going to have a get-together - you deserve a fun night!

Got married May 30th, 2009!

Co-captain of the Buff Brides team! All brides-to-be are more than welcome.


 current weight: 135.6 
145
139.5
134
128.5
123
RILES5505's Photo RILES5505 Posts: 423
9/4/08 4:11 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
YIKES it saddens me to read all these!!

I am not having one basically because my 'wedding party' are my kids, my family will be there the night before ( none of them live here) so I may plan a get together or something small but that is about it! BUT that will be fun! :)

'A lily among the thorns' Song of Solomon


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
0
21.125
42.25
63.375
84.5
MARISAJOY's Photo MARISAJOY Posts: 442
8/31/08 11:31 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Family troubles make weddings difficult. I have a brother that I don't speak to and am thus not inviting to the wedding. Part of me feels guilty about this (he is, after all, my brother) but I know this is for the best. It would just be tense, awkward or worse. I hope the situation with your sister isn't that bad, but if she was already thinking about not coming and needed damage control, then maybe it is? Have you talked to your fiance about how he feels about the situation?

Got married May 30th, 2009!

Co-captain of the Buff Brides team! All brides-to-be are more than welcome.


 current weight: 135.6 
145
139.5
134
128.5
123
LANGFR's Photo LANGFR SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (1,108)
Posts: 93
8/31/08 7:42 P

Send Private Message
Reply
I have just had a call from my mother, aparently my sister - the one who made a big deal about the invitations - wasn't going to come to the wedding and Mum had done "damage control" to convince her to come. When I told my mother that I was still mad at how she behaved as well she said she didn't realise that i was offended and I should think about whether I really want her to be there...
I'm still thinking - I want her there - she's my sister - but not if she's going to be a pratt or moan the whole day long.

Goal 1 = 92 kg
Goal 2 = 85 kg
Goal 3 = 75 kg
"little changes make big differences"


 current weight: 238.0 
253
240.25
227.5
214.75
202
GENKA81's Photo GENKA81 Posts: 1,708
8/12/08 9:43 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I just sent an email to my girls telling them I won the lottery... not the millions, but like $87,000. (for attention)...and asking for updates on the Bridal Shower and how everyone is working together, etc. Well, EVERYONE, except my sister whose not around, replied. But everyone replied to say congrats. Only my best BM replied to the rest of the email.

I will soon reply asking why it takes for me to win the lottery to get a reply, and still noone answered my questions. =( =( =(



XOXO,

Jen

"NOTHING taste as good as being skinny feels!" Terrah

Dec 27- 197
Jan 6- 193
Jan 14- 190
Jan 21- 187

March 1st Goal- 170


 current weight: 196.0 
197
190.25
183.5
176.75
170
LANGFR's Photo LANGFR SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (1,108)
Posts: 93
8/5/08 7:25 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Exactly...
I don't think my bridal party is that big, my two sisters and my best friend. At one stage I even asked my younger sister if she really wanted to be a bridesmaid and she said she did, but then she tells my mother that I'm making a big deal out of everything. (I don't think I am really, in fact half the time I don't even talk to her about wedding stuff anymore because she got so annoyed when I asked her to wear a particular type of dress and offered to pay for it).

I am very close to selling her dress on Ebay at the moment and just having my other sister and MOH.

Goal 1 = 92 kg
Goal 2 = 85 kg
Goal 3 = 75 kg
"little changes make big differences"


 current weight: 238.0 
253
240.25
227.5
214.75
202
LESSOFJOSIE Posts: 2,463
8/5/08 3:20 P

Send Private Message
Reply
I totally agree with you!
If I physically or mentally can't do it...then heck I won't do it. It's the right thing to do.










GENKA81's Photo GENKA81 Posts: 1,708
8/5/08 1:40 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I just think... if you really do not care about your friends wedding, or can't contribute in helping...not even the money, but just making time to help, then you should decline the BM position all together. It's crazy! I would say, I'm sorry... I want to, but don't have the time or something. I don't know.



XOXO,

Jen

"NOTHING taste as good as being skinny feels!" Terrah

Dec 27- 197
Jan 6- 193
Jan 14- 190
Jan 21- 187

March 1st Goal- 170


 current weight: 196.0 
197
190.25
183.5
176.75
170
LESSOFJOSIE Posts: 2,463
8/5/08 11:12 A

Send Private Message
Reply
I am sorry some of you have bridesmaids that are very unsupportive! It upsets me that some of my bridesmaids just don't seem to care about my wedding day. emoticon










GENKA81's Photo GENKA81 Posts: 1,708
8/5/08 9:44 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I asked myself the same question....everyday...
"Aren't bridesmaids supposed to be supportive on your big day?"

I never ever expected this at all. Maybe from my sister because she acts up alot, but not from the rest of the group. It's really boggles me how they can act this way to a long time friend. My FI says I need to forgive and forget... I told him this is not something that is that easy to forget.

It's been about 5 days since I sent the email saying I didn't want a Bach party and NO ONE replied... (of course except for the only BM helping). NO ONE else!!! I'm not surprised, but at the same time I am.

My FI told me to send an email saying I won the lottery... something like $89,000 or something. Not the millions, but something. And see how fast you get a response, and if I do get a response... ask them why I need to win the lottery to get any responses to the emails. It's really ashame and makes me really sad.



XOXO,

Jen

"NOTHING taste as good as being skinny feels!" Terrah

Dec 27- 197
Jan 6- 193
Jan 14- 190
Jan 21- 187

March 1st Goal- 170


 current weight: 196.0 
197
190.25
183.5
176.75
170
MARISAJOY's Photo MARISAJOY Posts: 442
8/4/08 11:35 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
My MOH's sister just got married at the beginning of July and had some of the same issues with her bridesmaids. My MOH was also her sister's MOH and ended up having to do all kinds of planning herself with no help from the other four bridesmaids. She even put all kinds of money into things like the shower and the bachlorette party, even though she's a poor student and they're all working full-time.
I'm really relieved I decided to have a small bridal party (I just have my two MOHs) because from what I've seen, a bigger bridal party just means more stress and disappointment.

I'm not having a bachlorette party either, probably, but that's because I'm not the type to go out to a club or bar. My girls are thinking about planning either a sleepover, a spa day or a day when we'll go bowling or something. In the end, though, you just want to spend the day with the people that have been there for you.

Oh, and not inviting the +1s? Totally worth saving the money, and people should either calm down or offer to pay for the plate if they really want the person there.

Got married May 30th, 2009!

Co-captain of the Buff Brides team! All brides-to-be are more than welcome.


 current weight: 135.6 
145
139.5
134
128.5
123
LANGFR's Photo LANGFR SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (1,108)
Posts: 93
8/4/08 10:59 P

Send Private Message
Reply
There's NO WAY they will pay me back. My mother has already said she's paying for all of their airfares (even though Luke and I offered to pay for them)and refused to pay for any dresses. My MOH offered to pay for hers, but I said no, because she's struggling financially. My mother basically thinks that I'm getting married so Luke and I should pay for the lot.
(My dad has been super awesome though - he's not well off and is offering us money for the reception)

Goal 1 = 92 kg
Goal 2 = 85 kg
Goal 3 = 75 kg
"little changes make big differences"


 current weight: 238.0 
253
240.25
227.5
214.75
202
LANGFR's Photo LANGFR SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (1,108)
Posts: 93
8/4/08 10:55 P

Send Private Message
Reply
I'm so grateful that other people are having bridesmaid issues too and understand. I thought i was all alone and it was just that my sisters are spoilt and always get their own way!
My FH has reallygotten annoyed at them both and is now saying he doesn't care if they do or don't show up - and that goes for my mother too. I have to say i feel very much the same.
Aren't bridesmaids supposed to be supportive on your big day?

Goal 1 = 92 kg
Goal 2 = 85 kg
Goal 3 = 75 kg
"little changes make big differences"


 current weight: 238.0 
253
240.25
227.5
214.75
202
GENKA81's Photo GENKA81 Posts: 1,708
8/4/08 10:48 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
If they don't plan on paying you back... then there is no reason why you can't say that is the present! I definitely would!!!!!



XOXO,

Jen

"NOTHING taste as good as being skinny feels!" Terrah

Dec 27- 197
Jan 6- 193
Jan 14- 190
Jan 21- 187

March 1st Goal- 170


 current weight: 196.0 
197
190.25
183.5
176.75
170
LANGFR's Photo LANGFR SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (1,108)
Posts: 93
8/4/08 9:22 P

Send Private Message
Reply
You're so right.
I was talking to my Aunty last night. She basically told me that Luke and I need to start trying harder to please ourselves and worry less about pleasing everyone else (She has been really level headed about everything and said that we had been EXCEPTIONALLY generous to all of our guests)
I'm so tempted to tel my sisters that their present is the dress. that's it!

Goal 1 = 92 kg
Goal 2 = 85 kg
Goal 3 = 75 kg
"little changes make big differences"


 current weight: 238.0 
253
240.25
227.5
214.75
202
LESSOFJOSIE Posts: 2,463
8/4/08 3:03 P

Send Private Message
Reply
I totally understand!! I wouldn't want to hang out with them either!! Your making the right choice!

I can't believe some of the people all of us have chosen to be in our special weddings, totally just don't care. I totally understand where you are comming from.

Don't let their negativeness get to you, it is your special day!!!










GENKA81's Photo GENKA81 Posts: 1,708
8/4/08 2:14 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I've kinda accepted the fact that they are no help and a mistake, too. But that doesn't mean I want to spend my last girls night out with them... if you know what I mean.

I had such plans on making really nice baskets for them as gifts and now... I have downgraded drastically. One girl will be getting the basket I wanted to give to all of them... because I can't even explain what a help she's been.



XOXO,

Jen

"NOTHING taste as good as being skinny feels!" Terrah

Dec 27- 197
Jan 6- 193
Jan 14- 190
Jan 21- 187

March 1st Goal- 170


 current weight: 196.0 
197
190.25
183.5
176.75
170
LESSOFJOSIE Posts: 2,463
8/4/08 1:39 P

Send Private Message
Reply
That is crazyness about your bm's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have some pain the butt bm's too...I just learned to just accept that they are no help and a big mistake that me and Tony made! I'm not letting them get to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can see how annoying that could be!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe the nerve of some people!!!










GENKA81's Photo GENKA81 Posts: 1,708
8/4/08 9:23 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Sounds a lot like my sister... who happens to be older. I am also not letting people have guest unless they are in a long term. And my sister started seeing someone earlier this year, and I straight out told her that he is not invited to the wedding. She got completely offended, and told me something to the extent of "what if I'm married to him by the time of your wedding?" I told her... that's obsurd, and he's still not invited.

And when I sent an email to the wedding party saying, there will be NO +1 guests and no kids. MONTHS after that email was sent. My BM#2 asked me what it meant for her. I told her the same thing it means for all the girls and guest. No +1 unless they get there own invite. She asked me, so is my family invited or not. I said No. Then she goes on the schpeel about how rude that was. (Her family is nothing to me... they are just related to her, but they have not been there for me, or anything like that.) I told her sorry, but we need to cut expenses, and I can't invite everyone. She told me to stop explaining myself, and she never thought that I would do this to her nephew. What did I do? I would have to pay $130 for him... what does she NOT understand?

I should've responded, I never thought you would do this to me either.



XOXO,

Jen

"NOTHING taste as good as being skinny feels!" Terrah

Dec 27- 197
Jan 6- 193
Jan 14- 190
Jan 21- 187

March 1st Goal- 170


 current weight: 196.0 
197
190.25
183.5
176.75
170
LANGFR's Photo LANGFR SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (1,108)
Posts: 93
8/3/08 10:48 P

Send Private Message
Reply
I understand your pain. :)

All of my bridesmaids are in NZ. My MOH has been great, but is finding it difficult to get here because of finances, however my sisters have done nothing but make demands. I paid for their dresses and they were telling me they wouldn't wear this or that (one sister basically said she wouldn't wear a floor length dress - it's a church wedding - and the other said she wouldn't wear anything that wasn't strapless!)
My youngest sister even sent me a nasty email because I invited her and didn't ask her to bring a guest, I emailed her back and explained that we were trying to limit numbers and that unless people were in a serious long term relationship if we didn't know their partner we didn't invite them... This was the response I got:

Man i was only sayin and wat u call seriuos and wat i call serious a r too different things!!
yeah so wat happens if i am enngaged by the tym of the wedding more than lykly situation. i just think that its rude how adrienne and michael are presumed to have partners and im not. i think you are stiring your own s**t and making it complicated for everyone else as well.
i dnt even know if i can come yet anyway. i was just pointing out to you that you can't just presume that im going to be single for the rest of my life.
I do have a life and im sick of evreybodies issues and problems!


I got really annoyed at this and sent her an email back basically telling her to get over herself and that she could only judge me and my FH when she gets married and invites people she doesn't know.
(She's only 17 and as far as I'm aware doesn't even have a boyfriend as far as I'm aware - so I'm not sure who she's planning on getting engaged to)
My mother wasn't much help either. I've offered to pay for flights and tried to be as helpful as possible and they all seem to think I'm being a bride-zilla!


Goal 1 = 92 kg
Goal 2 = 85 kg
Goal 3 = 75 kg
"little changes make big differences"


 current weight: 238.0 
253
240.25
227.5
214.75
202
GENKA81's Photo GENKA81 Posts: 1,708
8/3/08 10:20 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
So, today I emailed my girls that I officially do not want a Bach. Party. I am sooo digusted with all (but one) of them that I don't want anything from them, but since the Bridal Shower is in the works... I would feel bad to cancel that.

BM#1- supposedly my MOH, which is also my sister... has yet to ask me how my planning is and if I need help. The last thing she said to me about the wedding is that her friend didn't get her invitation. Nice MOH huh?

BM#2- In her mind, the BM is just suppose to show up and look pretty. One time when I was talking to her, and I mentioned I was stressed with the planning... instead of her asking if she can help, she said something like, " well, you expected it." I told her I didn't and I was hoping people would help. She thinks that the Bridal Shower is the Bride's family's responsibility and she just needs to show up.

BM#3- Is in Norway. As much as she wants to help, she can't really do much, which I understand. She wouldn't be here for the Bach. Party, or Bridal Shower anyway.

BM#4- Is the person I asked, and she was my BEST choice! She should be my MOH. Since I asked her to be a BM... me and her have become so much closer then we ever were. Everyday she asked me how things are going and what she can do to help. She emails the other girls to plan this & that, and to help me.... but go figure... not one of them respond.



So, at this point I don't want anything from them. I'll have a private Bach Party with my BM#4. I can't tell you how annoyed I am at them.

Sorry... needed to get it out.

Edited by: GENKA81 at: 8/3/2008 (22:18)


XOXO,

Jen

"NOTHING taste as good as being skinny feels!" Terrah

Dec 27- 197
Jan 6- 193
Jan 14- 190
Jan 21- 187

March 1st Goal- 170


 current weight: 196.0 
197
190.25
183.5
176.75
170
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Buff Brides General Team Discussion Forum Posts

Topics:
Last Post:



Thread URL: https://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=0x23151x17343659

Review our Community Guidelines