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MZWHITLEY's Photo MZWHITLEY SparkPoints: (124)
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3/20/11 8:17 P

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This can be a tough decision if he is asking on a regular basis. My daughter started having sick days in middle school- mostly the bad stomach variety. Three years later she was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder. In hindsight, as we have both learned more, we've realized she has had it all her life. When the symptoms really started to be noticeable in middle school she couldn't tell me what it was, she didnt understand it herself. Patterns to look for: does he get almost panicky if you push him to go to school? Do symptoms occur more often on Mondays, or when returning to school after a vacation? When he really is verifiably sick, does it seem it takes him longer than average to recover? Is there any family history of anxiety or depression? If you think this is even a possibility I would encourage you to talk to your pediatrician. I wish we could have recognized my daughter's case sooner.

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MMS81096's Photo MMS81096 SparkPoints: (21,851)
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3/20/11 12:21 P

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I take their temp and if it is normal I have them get ready for school anyway. Then, if they are still telling me they are sick, I tell them they can visit the school nurse and she can call me if she doesn't think they are well...I have never been called by the nurse when I've done this. Of course they have had to miss school from being sick, and have had to use my best judgement, have they gone to bed early, eaten normally or not, has their physical appearance changed and are they willing to go to the doctor?...I have to put all into consideration before I send them off to school. Also tell your son to not flush the toilet if he's thrown up so you can see and describe to the doctor...this way you will know if he is actually vomiting or not since you are not sure.

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3/19/11 3:11 A

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If I can't tell and it seems they are ok I tell them if they are really sick and can't make it through the day then of course I'll come get them....70% of the time they can manage the day.

I'll think it and speak it and breathe it. And reflect it from the mountains so all souls can see it.
~Bob Dylan

A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.
~Diane Mariechild

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3/11/11 10:58 A

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13 is the age that ALL boys change and tend to close up! I have to "drill" everything out of my son who is also 13....but I always get the truth :) Keep digging, there is something wrong whether it be he has questions about the changes that are taking place with his body and mind, peer pressure, girls, not making a team. Everything is blown up at this age!! Good luck!

Without inspiration, the best powers of the mind remain dormant. There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks.~~Johann Gottfried Von Herder

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ECONLADY's Photo ECONLADY Posts: 6,090
3/10/11 6:58 P

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Recently my 15 year old said she was tired and asked to stay home. I talked with her and she needed a mental health day. I asked her to be honest about what she needed and to not ask to often for a mental health day. We all need them once and a while and teenagers are under a lot of stress.

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CMFARRA's Photo CMFARRA Posts: 602
3/10/11 6:15 P

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When my now 15 year old was in 4th grade he was having psychological stomach aches. I'm a nurse so my kids never tried to fake it. I would let him stay home until after the bus left then I would drive him to school. I was friends with the school nurse so I let her know what was going on. He was being picked on by most of his classmates. One kid was the ring leader and many of the others just followed his lead. The teacher was good but young and hadn't yet developed the "eyes in the back of her head." A kid he had been friends with the year before was assigned to the other classroom. Usually when he got there he was OK, probably because he didn't want to stand out in the class by asking to go to the nurse's office. After a few weeks of driving him in late I spoke with the principal and we got together with the teacher and my son. They suggested putting his desk next to the teacher's desk, which was fine with him. That's how he spent the rest of the year. After that this ring-leader kid started getting in to more trouble because the teacher was keeping a closer eye on him. My oldest son is a natural master at social engineering but this one is the kind who almost had "pick on me" tattooed on his forehead. He wasn't "weird" or anything by definition of elementary kids, he was just a nice kid who wouldn't retaliate and didn't have friends in the classroom. After that year I pulled my kids out and they now attend a cyber charter school at home. My son spent a year with the Civil Air Patrol - which is the civilian support group for the Air Force and is involved with alot of search and rescue missions. Kids can join at age 12. After that year his self esteem improved greatly and he's better able to stand up for himself. He's involved with judo, along with his brothers, and has made some good friends in the judo class.
My son was only 9. A 13 year old may not be as willing to talk about what's bothering him. Instead of keeping him home you could try sending him to school with the idea that you can come pick him up if he gets sick. And try to get him to talk to you about school and what's going on.

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HSAGE1212's Photo HSAGE1212 Posts: 4,633
3/10/11 11:40 A

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Is he generally a good kid and good student? If he is maybe this once give him the benefit of the doubt. Ii wont be a bad thing to miss one day of school. But if you find this a ongoing problem then you maybe need to find the root of the problem. My own mother could be manipulated well. I played sick a lot and had a lot of tricks up my sleeve. I liked be home with my mom when young or liked being one to do what I liked to do. Nothing better as a kid to stay home and watch t.v. or whatever it is all day in my mind as a child. My kids learned at a young age not to play sick unless you truly were. If your sick enough to stay home then your sick enough to stay in bed not parked in front of the t.v. I would tell them if your so sick then you will have to take that icky liquid medication. So I don't have that problem in there teen years. But maybe your son is being bullied and that is the reason. Does your son talk to you freely? Then ask that question. If not then you maybe have to ask this question indirectly by talking about someone on a t.v. show first as a example and has that ever happened to you. Or do something you really enjoy together and then get talking while having fun.

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3/10/11 10:13 A

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If it is not normal for him to do this sort of thing I would give him the benefit of the doubt. If it is or becomes an every or every other day thing then there is more to it! I would try to talk to him. Maybe there is a reason he doesn't want to go to school. Maybe there is a test or someone is bothering him. Try to talk to him calmly about it and hopefully he will open up! Good luck!

"Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food."

Romans 14:20a (NIV)

 current weight: 134.0 
3/10/11 10:07 A

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I'm having a dilemma with my 13 year old son. He says he doesn't feel good and is throwing up. I haven't seen or heard him throw up though. He isn't running fever and I know the pollen is bad right now. Allergy season in LA always gets us. But, I don't know whether he is really sick. My husband doesn't think he is.

What have you guys done in this situation?


If you think Training for a Marathon is hard, you should try Chemo!

First 1/2 Marathon Completed: Feb. 13, 2011

Next Goal: Full Marathon in San Francisoc October 14, 2012

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