Group photo
Author:
DRREICH's Photo DRREICH SparkPoints: (30,093)
Fitness Minutes: (13,711)
Posts: 76
10/3/12 4:07 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
My wife and I are part of a thoughtful parenting group at the kids' school (Our twins are a little over 2 right now) and this topic comes up quite a bit.

One thing that was suggested is that the fight over bedtime may really be your little one trying to express his need for autonomy - the same thing that generates all those "noes" that we hear all the time. One one family did was to spend some time and to help their toddler understand where the borders are. To do this, they took three buckets (or bins, or whatever) and labeled them as follows: On the first bucket, they put their toddler's name. On the second bucket, they put "Mommy or Daddy", and on the third bucket, they put "Nobody". Then they would take turns, where each person would write down things and then crumple up the paper and put it into one of the buckets.

For example: They would put "putting on socks" on a paper, and then put it in the bucket for the todder, or they'd put "going to work" on a paper and put it in Mommy/Daddy's bucket. They would take "Rain" and put it in the "nobody" bucket.

Then, for bedtime, they broke it up like this: Darkness went into the "Nobody" bucket. "Bedtime" went into the "Mommy/Daddy" bucket, and "Going to Sleep" went into the toddler's bucket.

The key is to help the child to understand that while Mommy and Daddy set bedtime, they are in charge of when they go to sleep. This doesn't mean that they can play with all their toys or whatever, but if their toddler wanted to read quietly in bed, they could.

So, that may help too. Knowing that even though Mommy and / or Daddy set the bedtime, but that they can be in charge of their own bodies seems (to us adults) to be sort of a given, but from the viewpoint of the child, where they're just learning to master their physical and emotional selves is a big deal.

 Pounds lost: 10.0 
0
12.75
25.5
38.25
51
JENNIK2's Photo JENNIK2 Posts: 1,831
10/3/12 11:29 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
With my 3 year old we let her have stuffed animals in her bed. So when she not super sleepy she plays with them, but she's in bed.

Jenni

Michigan, Eastern Standard Time


 Pounds lost: 1.6 
0
25.5
51
76.5
102
TURTLESDOVE's Photo TURTLESDOVE Posts: 1,067
10/1/12 9:32 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
thanks a bunch. Will do! Have a nice day, TD

AAIEE1985's Photo AAIEE1985 Posts: 227
9/30/12 3:49 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
we went through this with our 3.5 yo as well, we just picked a date, and said alright shes going to bed by 9 pm from now on, and she fought and fought, we tried rewards that didnt work, finally we just stuck with it and kept putting her back in bed when she would get up and said good sleepers stay in their bed, and we also hung a strand of christmas lights in her room and now we just tell her to stay in bed or the lights go out. maybe try the lights! or a lamp or something



Tasha


 Pounds lost: 8.0 
0
34
68
102
136
MERRYCAKES's Photo MERRYCAKES Posts: 523
9/29/12 9:55 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
We had luck with "the sleep fairy" - our older daughter was really difficult in terms of sleep issues. So basically we used a rewards system to help encourage her first to sleep in her own bed all night, then to sleep in her own bed in her own room all night, etc. She loved it and it seemed to work great.

 current weight: 138.4 
142
137.75
133.5
129.25
125
TURTLESDOVE's Photo TURTLESDOVE Posts: 1,067
9/25/12 3:05 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
thank you for the advice. I will try talking to him tonight. He is 3 1/2 now,so I believe he is starting to comprehend better. Thanks

FLYINGTOFREEDOM's Photo FLYINGTOFREEDOM SparkPoints: (78,570)
Fitness Minutes: (81,805)
Posts: 10,590
9/25/12 2:48 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
all my kids were like that. They still test their limits, but we had to train them.
We had a start date of when they were going to bed at a certain time. We start 1 hour before bedtime, they get their beds ready, brush their teeth, read, watch tv, just chill out. They must be in their rooms. It took a couple of weeks, but now, all I have to do is warn them that it is chill out time and they start their routine. There are exceptions, sometimes when we have a parenting class at school that requires us to be out until 8, then when they get home, they are aloud to run around and play for 1/2 hour to 45 minutes. Then we start our routine. maybe sit your son down and explain to him in simple terms, not about your sleep, but about his sleep.
explain that he is a growing boy and he needs a lot of sleep. My middle child a girl, 4 never liked to sleep. she would only sleep for a few hours, but up for a few hours and fall back to sleep right before I had to get up for work. I started giving her melatonin. It is natural and safe. about a 1/2 hour before bed, I crush it up and put it in her night time drink. she tends to sleep all night and is well rested and not having tantrums.
as for the intimacy thing, well, we can't afford a babysitter and we don't go out much, so we make Thursday our night. We put the kids to bed early and then we make sure we lock our door and just spend time together. We don't have to do anything physical, but it is the time that we make sure we get every week. We look forward to it and the kids don't seem to mind going to bed earlier, they know that mom and dad need their time.
good luck

1 bite at a time = 1 choice at a time.
Choice is in our power; take the power and run.

Co-Leader of "Emotional Eaters"

Nothing is forever why not live for today and make it the best day ever.

I am my best friend.


 current weight: 235.0 
235
223.75
212.5
201.25
190
TURTLESDOVE's Photo TURTLESDOVE Posts: 1,067
9/25/12 2:39 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
hey everyone! This topic has GOT to be posted elsewhere. Hubby and I have tried everything possible and EXHAUSTED our means, "pardon the pun" to get our little 3 year old boy to go to bed at a reasonable hour, i.e, 9:30 or earlier. We tried giving him a bath before bed, reading to him, turning out the light, you name it, but the little booger waits until 11:30 to fall asleep, leaving hubby and I no quality sleep at night, and don't even mention intimacy. We are too doggone tired to even think about that! Anyone have any suggestions?

Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Parents of preschoolers (2 to 5 years old) General Team Discussion Forum Posts

Topics:
Last Post:



Thread URL: https://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=0x22488x50103641

Review our Community Guidelines