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9/14/12 9:29 A

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I completely know how you feel! my oldest son is 3 and he is a HUGE mommas baby. I feel the same guilt as you do when i already have to tell him to "hold on" or "give mommy a minute" while i am cleaning, or doing the dishes or something else. Its awful and you do feel guilty. i consulted my sister about this challenge, and even though she is 31 and has no kids she had some good ideas, because she is a Gym owner and has mommy-clients. She told me to incorporate him in my workout time. Or have him help me cook. Sometime my patience wears when i do that, like going for a bike ride cuz i want to crank it out and burn the calories and he needs time and cant always keep up, but i also know that i am helping him build a foundation of good health for the future so i relax and do it anyways. idk if your son is ready for bike riding yet, but you can always walk them in a stroller, Jay loves to help me cook healthy meals, he can do stuff like tearing lettuce, or washing strawberries. Or even when dinners done i let him help me rinse the dishes and i load them in the dishwasher. its a working progress and somedays you still have to just take time for yourself. But i do find sometimes this helps to cut the guilt. Not to mention just knowing how much better of a mom you will be when you have enough energy to really keep up with your children.

5lbs Lost: Met 11/6/2012(actual 7lbs.)Reward: New Shirt
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9/11/12 2:04 P

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I still feel guilt to put myself first before my kid. I work and my 3 y/o son is in Prek early in the morning until I get to pick him up, about 3 pm, therefore I just want to spend as much time as possible with him. and having to do all the house chores, cooking cleaning, and feel like I can not add exercise in my day because I feel that I am taking away my time with him. I used to do lots of sports before him, and I was very athletic but now I feel not myself. I just want to see if anybody was in the same position I am right now. I do not want to feel bad.

BELLE-4 Posts: 66
9/11/12 6:31 A

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I forgot to add that on 'off gym' days we try to schedule a family workout. We go for a family walk. Last time the kids were skipping/hopping and we had to rush to keep up with them! (age 2 & 4). We came across a school with a gated playground and the kids played in there while I skirted the small area inside the gate at a good pace yet I was within 20 feet or less of them and no other kids were around. It turned a 2,000 step into a 5,000 step exercise for me to do that, and the kids had the security that my husband and I were watching them constantly as they played.

Edited by: BELLE-4 at: 9/11/2012 (06:34)
BELLE-4 Posts: 66
9/11/12 6:26 A

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I need the "happy hormones" from exercising! Frankly I like my 'me time' to NOT be workout time. I told my husband that workouts are necessary and me time is what I do to recharge, something fun for me. We try for a 'me time' for a couple of hours at least once a week, and he gets one as well. One person takes the kids out so the other can relax AT HOME in a quiet housework or cooking allowed! It takes planning and adjusting but is SO WORTH IT!!!!!

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9/7/12 7:07 A

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I actually just wrote a blog entry about this. This is what I determined. The guilt that I sometimes feel for taking time for me is nothing compared to what I would feel if I don't. Here is what I mean: I want for my daughters to see a happy, healthy mom. They will learn to eat and take care of themselves by watching me. If I am overweight and inactive, most likely they will be too. If I have extra pounds that lead to me getting diabetes, hypertension, etc -- that can shorten either the number of years I have with them or the quality of time that I can spend with them. I am the most powerful role model that they will ever have in their life and I want to make sure that I am modeling good health! As moms, we always feel guilt over one thing or another -- it is part of the job description I think - but this is a place where you need to allow yourself to lose that guilt! emoticon

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9/5/12 10:35 P

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Wow. I'm glad to know I"m not alone. I wanted to join a gym but felt guilty about the money and putting my kids in the day care. So I work out at home while they nap. Yes there is plenty I should do. My husband is anal and I feel bad when I don't keep the house in top shape. What I found out is when I stick to a regular work out I feel better, less depressed and more energized. I do it while they nap because that is "My Time" and if I work out with them up it adds stress. I don't want to do it and the last thing I need are my kids bugging me. You need rest days so I often use these days for heavy cleaning. If you do it fast enough with music and try to work in some extra moves (lunges while you vacuum) you can count it as a work out.
I still struggle with is this the best use of my time but why can't I be selfish for a little while each day.

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8/13/12 10:57 P

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I too understand the guilt. I am a stay at home mom also and I try to work out when my son naps. But, there are times when I feel like my son's nap time could be better spent (cleaning, doing things for my kids, other odds and ends, etc.) So my plan: I plan to work out most days during my son's nap, but other days I think I might go for a walk with my son around the mall. Since it is so hot where I live the mall opens up early for walkers. I figure walking is great exercise and then during that days' nap time I have already exercised so I can do some of the things off of my to-do list.

I wish you much luck. And remember, if mom isn't happy, no one is! emoticon It is important for you to take care of your emotional and physical well-being. In the long run, your daughter will thank you for it.

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8/7/12 9:18 A

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Im going thru the same guilt,,,, you arent alone for sure!! I think if we dont find time for our selves then we cant make a happy home ( if momma aint happy no ones happy).... I am just starting to work out and i feel alot better praying my depression doesnt get in the way for sure If you ever need an open ear im here :) feel free to friend me

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8/6/12 8:30 A

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I think in the beginning when you are just making a change and shifting where your time goes it feels hard. But another way to think about it is that the exercise will help you have a stronger and healthier body for your little girl every day from this day forward. Tomorrow the toys will be back on the floor again because that is what toys do. It's not a comparable time investment at all.

MANDY22Q had a great suggestion to only keep the toys she plays with every day and now is the age to start enlisting your daughter's help to get her toys picked up. Turn it into a game for her to help get things into the right bin or to put one thing away before she gets out another. She can do it and getting them to help when they are very interested in helping mommy makes it easier when they are older and are less interested!

Hope your day is good and you are able to get your exercise in. You are worth it!

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8/5/12 10:50 P

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not sure if this will help at all. I was told that guilt is a useless emotion.
If you think about guilt being a useless emotion you'll realize you usually have nothing to be guilty about. sure you'll feel guilty but working out while your daughter naps you are not harming anyone, you are getting into a healthier form and mind set for when she wakes up. the toys on the floor can be picked up. even if you take 15 minutes a day to put away the toys you can still work out and have a clean toy area. trust me I have a five year old it's possible. make it so that you go through the toys that you kid is to old or to young to play with and deal with that first. then donate what your kid isn't using. then start to get storage bins and organize toys by compartments. for my daughter books in one area, toys she sleeps with in the bedroom. toys she plays with are set up so that it's in those plastic bins you can get at wallmart or target. I love them. best invention. lable the drawers so husband knows where to put the toys if it bothers him so much. then you will know crayons and coloring books belong in top drawer, dolls or trucks go into another ect. and just keep doing that way. not sure how your set up but you get my point.
15 minutes a day cleaning and 15 minutes a day exercising really what would there be left to feel guilty about ? just got to have a time frame and stick to it.

Amanda Lives in Michigan
onyx out law BLC 21 newbie

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8/4/12 8:28 P

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Welcome to the team. I'm here if you ever need anything.
Good luck with all of your goals!



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7/31/12 3:16 P

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any moms out there that are experiencing or have experienced guilt over trying to get fit. I am a stay at home mom of a two year old daughter. I work out when she naps. I feel extermely guilty working out during this time because I feel I should be working around the house. My house isn't dirty but its is disorganized with toys EVERYWHERE. This upsets my husband but he knows that getting fit is important to me. He also know staying active for me helps beat my depression.

A little background. In the last year I have had 4 major operations for ovarian cancer and had treatments. I lost both ovaries , but was able to keep my uterus. I was lucky the type of cancer it was ...was not hormone driven so that we preserved my eggs. We have 10 embroys waiting for us for when we are ready and I know 100 % as possible that I am cancer free. During the year myself and my daughter were away a get amount of time. We stayed with family in CT while I recovered. I feel like anything I am doing that isnt towards taking care of Anastasia and the house is being selfish. Though all I want to do is shed the weight I did put on during treatment( and yes you can gain while going through chemo) and start to live a little healthier life style. So how do everyone else if they experience the guilt deal with it?

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