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10/8/10 12:40 P

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Hi, I know it is not the same as having friends who can come over and chat but I have found a lot of company here and on Baby Center.com forums.

I stayed home with my son for a while and ended up going to work because it just worked out better for us that way. So I have felt totally alone. Due to some lifestyle issues my BFF (former) and I no longer communicate and that makes me feel lonely...sad too. So I've had the same feelings you are dealing with.

Have you tried going to a church or joining a gym? Some times a gym will offer child care, you get to work out and have opportunity for adult/safe interaction.

Hopefully, this will help!

-SWEETNLOW-'s Photo -SWEETNLOW- Posts: 283
10/8/10 1:50 A

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I feel your pain :). I've never been a real social person to begin with and have spent much of my life learning to be happy by myself. With that said, I still feel alone at times. I do appreciate fully the few friends I have though. My husband makes friends left and right so any friends that come around are his friends. I'm also a SAHM. My daughter will be 5 months old on the 15th and pretty much the only contact with the outside world that I have is through SP and Facebook, where I keep in touch with old friends from high school and family members. None of our parents live in town. The closest is mine who live 1 1/2 hour away. Yes, I feel lonely much of the time and often overwhelmed by the change in lifestyle getting used to the homemaker/new mommy thing after working for many years. I totally know what you mean and it would be nice to find some buddies (at least online) to talk to that really do get you.

"Keep your chin up"
(Something my Mom has always said and I try to do.)

Never give up on a dream just because of the length of time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.


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YOUNGMMYOF3's Photo YOUNGMMYOF3 SparkPoints: (0)
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10/7/10 10:37 P

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I totally know how you're feeling. I'm a 22-yr-old stay-at-home mom to three kids and sometimes it drives me crazy. I don't know how my mom did it for so many years with 4 of us at home. About six months ago we moved from our home area (my hubby grew up in a town of 5000 and I grew up in a town of less than 1000) to a very large city (250,000+ people). Not only are we 5 hours away from our families, but just the culture shock of moving to such a large city is confusing and overwhelming. My husband works nights, so even when he's home he doesn't interact much because he's sleeping. It seems like the only interaction I get is on Facebook. We only have one vehicle so I don't really go many places without having to walk. A couple times I've taken my kids to a park a few blocks away and it gives them a little interaction and exercise as well as a small break for me from the four walls of our apartment. But with winter coming on, that's not going to work for very long. I need to make myself go out there and meet some people, but I haven't gotten the courage to do it yet.

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LOSINIT212's Photo LOSINIT212 SparkPoints: (0)
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10/6/10 10:12 A

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You're definitely not alone in feeling lonely! I'm a sahm and I get that way too. I find taking my son to the park or library or just out for a walk in town really helps. It will get easier as your baby gets older and gets more interested in things. Hang in there!

~melissa

‎"Accept everything about yourself–I mean everything, You are you and that is the beginning and the end–no apologies, no regrets." ~Henry Kissinger


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MELPHILLIPS741's Photo MELPHILLIPS741 SparkPoints: (36,294)
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9/5/10 5:59 P

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I am currently on Mat leave with a 4 month old and I can totally relate...I really feel out of the loop with the rest of the world some days! I have no family here and very few friends. Thank god for my dear Husband, he works so hard but still manages to spend a decent amount of time at home with us as a family or to give me a break:)...I too am a very shy person and am not one to just get out there and hook up with strangers even if they have similar interests. I wish I could be more outgoing! I do love being a Mom though:)

"When your health is strong, every other facet
of your life is strong"

- Jillian Michaels

Check out my success story at babyfit.sparkpeople.com/articles.asp
?id=1045




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BEDE0419's Photo BEDE0419 Posts: 7
9/3/10 10:03 A

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I'm not a SAHM but when I was home on maternity leave I would feel that way sometimes. It's tough to have limited adult interaction during the day! Have you looked into joining a mom's group in your area? I joined one - on meetup.com - they have groups for all kinds of stuff that you can search and join. My mom's group does all sorts of playdates/local activities/mom's night out stuff. It's a great way to meet other mom's with kids in the area. I also take my DD to a story time group on Saturday morning at the local library - a lot of mom's there with schedules similar to mine. Hope this helps:-)

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VALANNB22's Photo VALANNB22 SparkPoints: (0)
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9/1/10 4:25 P

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All the time! My DH works 16+ hours a day, so he's almost never home. We live out in the middle of nowhere, so not really any activities or groups for me to sign up for. I'm am painfully shy anyway. I have VERY few IRL (in real life) friends. I have found that I can find people with similar views/interests easily online. I've made the most awesome friends that way over the last several years. Even though we live really far (even on different continents) in some instances, I feel really close to them. I've met a few of them IRL and it's great!

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RACHELB87's Photo RACHELB87 Posts: 169
8/27/10 1:16 A

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Where do you live? LOL

(¯`•¸·´¯)Rachel(¯`•¸·´¯)

From: SLC, UT
Age: 23
Height: 5'9
Start weight: 198 July 2010
R1 end weight:173
R2 end weight:162
Goal weight:145lbs

R1:07/3/10-8/12/10 lost 25
R2:10/30/10-11/22/10 lost 16 R3:03/15/11-
"A better life will come your way the second you get up and start walking toward it. "
Jason Gracia


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RACHELB87's Photo RACHELB87 Posts: 169
8/27/10 1:14 A

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I'm a sahm with 2 kids ages 4 and 11 months! I feel alone often. My hubby works late alot and even goes out of town with short notice on occasion. All of my friends and most of my family work so I pretty much spend all my time with my kids! I often hang out with my grandma who's retired! LOL just bcuz it's some adult interaction. Also another thing for me is that my husband and I only have 1 working car and he takes it to work. So alot of times I'm literally stuck at home! It gets overwhelming sometimes but we get by. I really wish I could make a friend that lives in my neighborhood that has kids that would maybe go on walks with me or even when my husband is home I could have a workout buddy to go to the gym with me. But I'm not the type of person who's gonna go making some random friend so I don't how that is gonna happen. My 4 year old is starting preschool at the elementary school in my neighborhood and so I am kind of hoping I will meet another mom there. Anway just thought I would share. I do know how you feel. Staying home with kids is a hard yet very rewarding job!

(¯`•¸·´¯)Rachel(¯`•¸·´¯)

From: SLC, UT
Age: 23
Height: 5'9
Start weight: 198 July 2010
R1 end weight:173
R2 end weight:162
Goal weight:145lbs

R1:07/3/10-8/12/10 lost 25
R2:10/30/10-11/22/10 lost 16 R3:03/15/11-
"A better life will come your way the second you get up and start walking toward it. "
Jason Gracia


 current weight: 160.2 
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BMATT633's Photo BMATT633 Posts: 22
8/26/10 1:24 P

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I moved around a lot when I was younger (20-something times) so I know how that is.
I am a SAHM and love it! But some days there are times I just feel down...and alone, even if I'm not technically alone. My husband works two jobs also, and is taking online classes. My family lives in the same small town, so I can see them, but that's about my social life. I grew up off and on in this town, but my husband knows more people than I do (and he has never lived here before!)...plus, the only friend I have with a child of her own lives an hour away. It seems everyone I'm around tends to be much older than me. So, I can understand how it feels. And yet...I wouldn't trade it for something else. Weird, huh?


Matthew 6:33..."But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you."


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AMORRISON19's Photo AMORRISON19 Posts: 1,393
8/26/10 12:03 P

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I'm not a SAHM (although I'd love to be), but I do get lonely sometimes too. I have a couple of friends from my high school years that I stay in touch with (we meet up once a month), but that's about it aside from my brothers. My hubby's only friends are his brothers and I'm not all that fond of them, so I'd love to have some real friends of my own. It's hard to make friends when you have a little one, and I guess I don't really try.

I guess my outlet is talking to my sparkfriends. I know it's not the same, but if you find people that really "get" you online, it helps a lot.

No real advice, but just wanted to offer you some support!

~Ashley~

Proud Mommy of Isabella Grace, born 6-19-09



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KATHY-FREDERICK's Photo KATHY-FREDERICK Posts: 4,334
8/26/10 11:41 A

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I felt alone almost my whole life growing up. We moved over 40 times during my childhood and then my ex was in the Army and we moved 4 more times after that. I finally decided to come back to where I graduated from HS and root my feet. It's been several years since I've felt really lonely but I know how you feel.

It sounds like you live in a good sized area - maybe you could frequent a park or playground to size up other mommies.

Edited by: KATHY-FREDERICK at: 8/26/2010 (11:41)
Take Care,
Kathy


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MOMMASAURUSREX's Photo MOMMASAURUSREX SparkPoints: (0)
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8/26/10 11:20 A

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I know thois is off topic for spark people. But I just had this overwhelming feeling of lonelyness. I have a 3month old and I am a stay at home mommy. I love every moment of being home. I can't imagine changin that. But Im alone pretty much all the time. My guy works 2 jobs a 8-6 for 3 days a week and a 3am-3pm for 3 days. We moved away from the town we grew up in this past November. I was on bed rest with my pregnancy until the very end. When I finally was admitted to go places I went to a mommy group funded by our community but I was the oldest person there (28) and I am picky about certain qualitys in friends : no smoking, no wild party girls or drug users. I couldn't find one "decent" friend at the group. They either all smoked weed or ciggs and if they didnt they had so much drama just being in the room with them made me head hurt. I had my baby and ever since have just been keeping in touch with old friends via facebook. but I notice I am becoming ever more cold and bitter towarad the world. Im so lonely but afraid there arent any decent friends out there. I don't have a car (its a choice, dont really need it we are with in a mile of EVERYTHING) and I dont want to pay for the mommy and me groups where there might be nicer more mature people;about 200 bucks and thats not the kind of money we spend on our selfs..thats college money. Do you ever get lonely? I havent had to make friends my whole life..I grew up in the same town I lived in for 28 years. My mother in law lives nearby but she has very an odd religion (in my opinion) and I dont agree with the things they belive so I try to keep away vs arguing. Thanks for reading if you got thru this far.

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