Group photo
Author:
GENKA81's Photo GENKA81 Posts: 1,708
1/18/11 11:49 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I have the SAME problem! Especially now that it's cold out, I can't even go out with her much. I get depressed a lot. DH works a lot, by the time he gets home it's basically time to get LO ready for bed. He works loads of overtime just to make sure he makes enough to pay bills.

I'm actually going really start looking for a job. My daughter is now 16 months, and as much as I love being with her 24/7, I think it's time for her to have more interaction. I also think she needs to have a chance to miss me. I was hoping by april/may I can have a job. She'll be roughly 19/20 months old by then. She does have interaction with her 20month old twin cousins now, when I babysit them... which is a few times a week. But they all fight over my attention and literally climb on me to get it. I have 3 one year olds hanging off my shoulders, and I'm getting tired. My sister plans to move by that time anyway. I'm sure DH would appreciate me finding a job to help him. Somedays I look forward to getting back in the work force, and other times I'm scared to death. Time will tell.





XOXO,

Jen

"NOTHING taste as good as being skinny feels!" Terrah

Dec 27- 197
Jan 6- 193
Jan 14- 190
Jan 21- 187

March 1st Goal- 170


 current weight: 196.0 
197
190.25
183.5
176.75
170
CROCHET09's Photo CROCHET09 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (1,551)
Posts: 169
1/18/11 10:58 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I talk on the phone--- a lot lol

Sometimes we lose the fight within ourselves, and cover who we really are... This is our chance to bring back the spark within us, and show the world who we can be!


 current weight: 187.6 
204
185.5
167
148.5
130
MELISA1980 Posts: 269
1/18/11 9:29 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
After my son was born I joined a newborn group in my area. I met weekly with many new moms and formed some friendships. I still go to the group every now and then but now that my little boy is 8 months old he's getting to the age where he's too active for the group. So, I meet up with a few of the moms once a week or so. The kids come along, too, so it's good for both myself and my son.

I miss adult interaction, too, but I find it helpful to participate in the conversations found on the message boards. Sure it doesn't replace having a real face-to-face conversation, but it does help some.

 current weight: 153.2 
153.2
149.9
146.6
143.3
140
GUMMIBRCHN's Photo GUMMIBRCHN SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (14,312)
Posts: 316
1/17/11 10:04 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
The adult interaction is the thing I miss most, too! Several of my friends are SAHMs and we have a weekly playdate that's as much for us as for the kids! I don't know what I'd do without it. I also find that being on FB helps me feel less isolated from the world.... I just wish it wasn't such a time waster! :)

 current weight: 188.6 
191
180.75
170.5
160.25
150
MOMTO3CUTEBOYS's Photo MOMTO3CUTEBOYS Posts: 605
1/17/11 8:44 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I've been a stay at home for four years. I love it, I love that I'm the one who's with my one year old and my other two kids get off the bus to mom being home. Facebook, texting, and phone calls keep me connected with friends and then meet up with friends when it's possible.

The three very best things I've ever done in my life are Ty William, Bryce Julius, and Preston Scott.

R: Refuse to Quit
O: Overcome Obstacles
A: Account for my Actions
R: Reach all my Goals

The question should be, is it worth trying to do, not can it be done. - Allard Lowenstein

Nothing is IMPOSSIBLE, the word itself says "I'M POSSIBLE"!!! ~Audrey Hepburn

The toughest lift of all, is YOUR ass off the couch.


 Pounds lost: 129.8 
0
52.65
105.3
157.95
210.6
CHEM920 Posts: 218
1/5/11 4:09 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I totally understand! I worked full time, volunteered and had at least one social outting a week with a friend...now I'm at home with my 4 month old. I love being able to be home with him right now and wouldn't trade that for the world but I feel so lonely and isolated lately. My husband works odd hours and is great when he is home but we have glimpses of conversation most days and on his days off half the time he takes our son so I can get caught up on chores or we are out running erronds together. It is hard and I do notice when I am around people I have a harder time making conversation. My time is spent alone, along with our son or with my husband doing chores-blah!

I have been making it a point to get in 30-60 minutes of work out time around my husband's schedule and son's nap time. That does help me feel energized and it gives me some me time. Then saddly the rest of the time I'm cleaning and keeping up with the house-which saddly I enjoy most days- finding time to do these things now that it is hard to keep up like I used to lol!

This last week I have decided I need to focus on building my relationships with other moms. All of my friends with kids live in other states and the few I had in town minus kids have fallen off the face of the earth since I had my son. I have started making it a point to e-mail and stay in touch with those out of towners and have started scheduling phone or online chat time with them (first one is tonight!). At least I can talk to another grown up for a little bit! I have also come across a few old friends I have been out of touch with for 10 years or more and initiated setting up a dinner date-they all have kids too. Now who knows if we will still have anything in common. The optimist in me is hoping that we have a great time and make it a regular event (every month or so) and maybe then that will lead to meeting friends of friends that have kids, etc. Of course they all work during the day so that wont help my day time isolation but the opportunity to get out everyonce and awhile for some adult time is enough!

My son isn't old enough for most of the classes and stuff around the area but hopefully we can join something in the future and when I do I'm going to challenge myself to try and interact and get to know some of the other parents. My husband relocated here so his friends are all out of towners too so we just feel isolated even when we are together other than my family-which I love but I need people out side of them to hang out with!

I hope you are feeling better. Try to find time to e-mail someone, call someone or have interaction on spark people once a day when the little one is asleep-this might help you start to feel a little more connected to the world. I'm sure once we start having a little human contact...more will follow! :)

MRSCUTTING08 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (39)
Posts: 17
11/17/10 11:18 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
My hubby works out of state and is gone most of the time. I get extremely lonely, especially since my only friends are 8 and 1. As for the house, I get things done during school/nap time and when they go to bed so that I can focus all my attention on them.

 current weight: 208.4 
208.4
194.8
181.2
167.6
154
YVETTEMH's Photo YVETTEMH Posts: 60
11/16/10 10:04 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I think I'm one of the lucky ones in that as a SAHM I have a husband who helps a lot with the kids (10yr,12yr,4months), and the housework when he's home. I have to add that "when he's home" bit because his job has him traveling a lot. Right now his schedule has him home on the weekends only, up til Christmas week. It's not easy. Our youngest is only 4months old and we also just moved to a new neighborhood in a new state and meeting people has never been an easy thing for me.

Luckily, our local community center has a program for young kids where they get playgroups and moms get free childcare for program related classes. My adult interaction is still superficial since I've only just started the program, but I have high hopes that I'll meet some people who may become good friends. Right now I facebook to keep in contact with family and old friends. My sanity is level is holding for now.

I'm still trying to work out drop-in daycare for my daughter when I have doctor appointments and such, but haven't had much luck with that so far.

"Remember, it's just a bad day. Not a bad life."


 current weight: 176.0 
176
164.5
153
141.5
130
ELEXEY's Photo ELEXEY SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (20,269)
Posts: 2,079
10/18/10 12:29 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Sending hugs from here as well! I completely understand because my husband is the same way, he's old school where the women take care of the baby while they're little, so I just have to remind him that we aren't living in the 19th century anymore. I've learned that he will do anything that I ask him to do, and never complains about it, so I now ask away. He also works two jobs so that I can stay home with baby (I have always worked full time so it is a transition, I remind myself that I am able to nurture our daughter instead of someone else doing it and I consider that a blessing!) I try to have a "coffee date" with my sister in law, who's also my best friend, (who has a 15 month old) once a week, and we do have the kids with us, but at least it's adult interaction. And then I spend a lot of time researching recipes I'd like to try, and various projects around the house that I like to do, because there always seems to be something to do, and I do a lot of personal Bible study. Somehow my days end up full and I am never bored. I really hope you can find a way to keep yourself busy and happy. God Bless.

Edited by: ELEXEY at: 10/18/2010 (00:30)
"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."
Galatians 6:9

"The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win."
Roger Bannister

"The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are the things that endure. These qualities are so much more important than the events that occur." Vince Lombardi


 current weight: 212.0 
245
220
195
170
145
LINDASUSANG's Photo LINDASUSANG Posts: 404
10/14/10 4:05 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Bless your heart. Going from a full-time job to a full-time stay-at-home mom isn't the easiest of transitions. I know. No, it is not easy being the full-time caregiver to both your hubby and your daughter and as wives and moms we often leave ourselves last in line for care and love. Perhaps you can tell your husband you need to spend time with others without your child in tow to enjoy some adult conversation. Thankfully I can steal away to the library (5 minutes away), the grocery store and other places at least 1 day a week after my hubby gets off of work. I currently have a 3 month old son who is fully nursed so my outings alone are limited but it wasn't until he was born that my husband actually helps more with our daughter in terms of getting her ready for bed and leaving the house. I do have many friends at church whom I may speak with either by phone or facebook so I get some interaction through there and get caught up in some of the funny things going on with them. (((HUGS))) Getting together with friends for a potluck luncheon or playing board games would be a nice and inexpensive way to get caught up with one another and break the monotony of one's day. Perhaps you can try that. God bless you honey.

Do or do not. There is no try. -Yoda

It's never too late to be what you could have been.




 Pounds lost: 9.0 
0
5
10
15
20
AFECAY's Photo AFECAY Posts: 40
10/11/10 3:03 A

Send Private Message
Reply
:( Hi everyone ... just an update to let you all know that I am not coping very well at the moment. I am not sure where to put this or who to talk to about it but I am beginning to feel trapped and lonely.

Yes I have the company of my gorgeous 20 month old daughter with me but that doesn't seem to be enough she can have more of a conversation now but it is still limited.

I need to find something that is just for me without having to worry about child care first. At the moment everything is done to cater to my husband's word schedule and now he has also started volunteering every second Sunday. Which is fine because he gets a break from both his paid job and from being at home. I don't want to say it but what about me?

When he is home he doesn't help out very much with our daughter, I still have to get her breakfast, lunch and dinner as well as give her her bath, change her nappy (diaper) and play with her while he does his own thing. Fair enough when he is not home but I really need some time out but I am not sure how to get it ...

Help! I thought putting her in her pusher and going for a walk was enough but it is not the same, I feel like I need a little bit of time away from her every now and then to appreciate her more. I am one of the lucky ones to be able to be a mother but right now I don't feel that way which also makes me feel guilty.

Sorry for the long update but at least you know where I am up to. Speaking of my daughter she has just woken up from her sleep and needs me again.

Thanks for reading.

4th Jan = 114 kg
9th September = 106 kg

Kept 8 kilos off since January, happy about that now for the rest of them!
FITJEANS's Photo FITJEANS Posts: 1,991
7/18/10 4:01 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
It is hard living on one income.My husband has 2 incomes.There is never enough income to go around.There will always be something. I love being a stay at home mom but. I would like to have my own career as well. Who knows maybe one day I could have the best of both worlds.

 current weight: 135.0 
176
164.5
153
141.5
130
MOMTO2GIRLS08's Photo MOMTO2GIRLS08 Posts: 9
7/18/10 3:21 P

Reply
It's actually not that hard being a stay at home mom. I have a 2 and 3 yr old and they keep me busy all day. The only 2 struggles I have is finding time to workout during the day and the second struggle which my husband and I share is finances. It's hard living on one salary.



 current weight: 211.4 
215
196.25
177.5
158.75
140
FITJEANS's Photo FITJEANS Posts: 1,991
7/16/10 5:40 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
To be honest I dont know how I cope with being a stay at home mother lol! Just kidding. My husband is very supportive and my 2 year helps out with the new born.I am looking for a job. If I had to choose between the two. I rather be a career woman. B cuz that is so me. Love to work. It makes me feel good how about you.

Edited by: FITJEANS at: 7/16/2010 (17:41)
 current weight: 135.0 
176
164.5
153
141.5
130
MYTOMATOBABY Posts: 1
6/7/10 7:01 P

Send Private Message
Reply
I found a great moms group that has chapters everywhere. I think if you google moms group your find it and individual moms sometimes start their own meet up. Since some groups don't like accepting members on the internet you might need to go to the park and library and start chatting with other moms. Sometimes your local library will also have great free story times for infants. Try to get out as much as you can or your go crazy.

TSTROM89 Posts: 1
6/7/10 10:42 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Being at stay at home mum means that I get to spend every waking minute with my beautiful baby boy. I love being with him every minute of every day and never want to miss a single thing he does. It's hard though, in my situation, because my husband has a terrible back condition and is unable to work. So, we have no money for anything but the bills. We struggle quite a bit. At this point in time I would love to get a job but am having a horribly tough time finding one. I wish I could find something to do online so I could make the money but still spend every minute with my son!

SHOZZIE's Photo SHOZZIE Posts: 949
6/5/10 10:06 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I like to go to the gym. I put DD in the daycare there and I like having that adult time to myself. At first I felt a little guilty, but DD loves playing with the other kids, so I really think it is good for her too.

 Pounds lost: 11.6 
0
12.5
25
37.5
50
BENSONMOMOF2 Posts: 1
6/5/10 3:05 P

Send Private Message
Reply
as a sahm i maintain my sanity but annual summer breaks for ME! Every summer following my kids first birthday I ship my kids off to their grand parents for 2 mo

MONIQUEARIELLE's Photo MONIQUEARIELLE Posts: 570
6/5/10 2:38 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I definitely recommend finding other SAHMs that you can hang out with. I play basketball with several women on Tues/Thurs mornings, and there I have several friends that I get together with regularly. We all have pre-kindergarten aged children. We go shopping, to lunch, or just get together at each other's houses. I also recommend finding a church to attend if you are religious at all, because it's great to have a reason to get dressed up and see lots of other friendly people at least once per week. Plus you'll make lots of new friends. (Not that these are my primary reasons for going to church, but they are definite bonuses). :)

I lost 78 pounds with SparkPeople and I've gained most of it back because I didn't make a PERMANENT lifestyle change; I'm back because I know the support here is an essential component to success. I'm practicing the EAT TO LIVE lifestyle and feeling healthier and happier every single day.

"the girl who looked back from the mirror was a total stranger, yet she had always been there, waiting."
-elizabeth george speare

www.thekamosifamily.blogspot.com


 current weight: 199.2 
234
214.25
194.5
174.75
155
MAMABLUEEYEZ3's Photo MAMABLUEEYEZ3 Posts: 71
6/4/10 3:04 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I found that if i dedacate at least a half hour on the tredmill while the kids are napping i feel better. Staying at home for me is not realy my choice we can't affor daycare and i have no family here so working would be at night and since i go to school full time at night i have no way to work until all 3 kids are in school that will be in 4 years. Hang in there i know its hard but just think you know you will never miss anything in the developement of your child. emoticon

 current weight: 170.0 
175
171.25
167.5
163.75
160
AFECAY's Photo AFECAY Posts: 40
6/3/10 6:09 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Thankfully we have a gym that I go to that has got child care :) and while it is great to have that time out you can't really chat while doing a class!

I might be starting to teach people how to crochet so that will allow me to interact with people a bit more and teach them something that I like doing. Just trying to work out all the costings and come up with a lesson plan to show them. It won't be starting until October so it will give me plenty of time to prepare for it.

I was talking to people online through a forum but had a falling out with them and as a result deleted over 100 people from my facebook list, if they were/are my friends they'd send me another request, only two or three have done that so I made the right choice.

Off to pump class this morning so at least I haven't given up on the exercise :)

10 kilos lost in 3 months so I have to keep it up, if not those will be a waste. I have also kicked the chocolate habit, I bought a packet of M&M's a couple of weeks ago and they are still here unopened!

Have a great weekend and I will remember to come back to spark people to post more, might even find someone people to go for a walk/talk with, other than my 16 month old daughter, she is great company but can't quite hold a conversation yet.

4th Jan = 114 kg
9th September = 106 kg

Kept 8 kilos off since January, happy about that now for the rest of them!
CD3492213 Posts: 550
6/2/10 5:35 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Where I live there are several playgrounds, and when we go there we will often meet other toddlers for LO to play with and grown-ups for me to chat with. Also I have several friends that have flexible hours, so they will meet me for coffee now and then, or take a walk with me during LOs naptime (She naps in the stroller while I walk.) Also there are many elderly living in my building who have little to do but sit outside on the benches all day, and they are all over us whenever we come or go, so all in all I will have some adult interaction most days. I take whatever I can get ;) Just simple little things like taking time to read the paper helps me feel more connected to the rest of the society.

SHELLYSUE55's Photo SHELLYSUE55 Posts: 28
6/1/10 11:11 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I can relate to needing adult time and a break occasionally. My husband is home interacting with us about an hour total over 24 hours. He works nights, sleeps in the morning, then farms in the afternoon. We see him when he wakes up for breakfast and when he comes in for dinner before he goes to work. Some days can be very long with it being just me! One reason I came back to Sparks is for the socializing. I talk to friends on facebook, but it's not the same as social interaction. I know once my kids start school I will get to know other parents. We live in rural MN and 8 miles out in the country. Just move here too in January. This summer I plan to get to know our neighbors, which are a good 10 minute walk down the gravel road. Also stop by the library or pool to run in to people with the same age kids to get to know each other. My problem is, I'm shy and have a hard time going up to strangers. Good luck in meeting new people.

 current weight: 267.0 
315
285
255
225
195
SHRINKINGRACHEL's Photo SHRINKINGRACHEL Posts: 383
6/1/10 5:43 P

Send Private Message
Reply
I've been a stay at home mom of a 1yo and a 2.5yo, in a town I've never lived in before (so no old work/school friends), in a one car household, in rural TX (so no mommy groups, no baby gyms, not even story times at the library), for almost 3 years now. And I'm slowly going crazy. I have some facebook friends (one group for my son's birth year and month, and one for my daughter's), and that's my only interaction with adults other than my husband and my mom. Sad, huh?

But that's my secret to staying sane. That and the thought that one day, my kids will be older and won't need me as much, and I'll have work stress and won't get hugs and kisses from my boss to make it better!

Find some support, whether it be a mommy group, a church group, an online group. I'd love to go to a gym that has childcare and take a group class, and that ties in nicely with the Spark way of life. Just find something and do it!

What you are today is because of what you did yesterday. What you do today will make you who you will be tomorrow.
"Don't let what you can't do interfere with what you can do"-John Wooden


 current weight: 166.4 
175
168.75
162.5
156.25
150
PURPLEFISHYMAMA's Photo PURPLEFISHYMAMA Posts: 14
6/1/10 1:21 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A mom's group is a must! As others have said meetup.com is awesome, I joined a group when we moved my son was 10 months and he meet his best friend at our first event (they are both 4.5 now).

 current weight: 240.5 
240.5
220.375
200.25
180.125
160
DOLFYNDANCE70's Photo DOLFYNDANCE70 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (3,322)
Posts: 68
6/1/10 12:02 P

Send Private Message
Reply
I have been a sahm for 8 years with three kiddos. It is hard for me too, since we only have one car and my hubby needs it to go to work, so we dont get to go to the meetup groups, so the only way I stay sane is stay busy with kids at home, chatting with my friends via facebook and going to dinner with an adult friend at least once or twice per week. It is hard. but it will get better as your child gets older, they are pretty fun. Hang in there. emoticon

 current weight: 189.0 
194
185.5
177
168.5
160
ECUAJECKA's Photo ECUAJECKA Posts: 127
5/31/10 12:24 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Try meetup.com and look for a mom's group. Or start one! Ours is awesome. We started by going to some structured things, but now we are the best in the area, and the local baby businesses (toddler gyms, sign language classes etc.) all ask us if they can do free sessions....

 current weight: 188.0 
193
186
179
172
165
JAQUILLIN's Photo JAQUILLIN SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (9,259)
Posts: 446
5/31/10 11:15 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I have stayed at home for 8 years, never thought I could. I loved it my first year, and then got really depressed the second when my son was 19 months, not really wanting to inetract with me, but always wanting me in the room. I joined a local moms club as well and had regular playgroups, which were more for me than him at the time, but he has made some lasting friends. He is now 8 and he and my 6 year old have great bonds with their playgroup friends and I still hang out with their moms. I now have a 1 year old so have started meeting new people with playgroups for her. Hope this helps!

 current weight: 209.0 
222
205.25
188.5
171.75
155
S0122S's Photo S0122S SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (5,691)
Posts: 1,707
5/31/10 8:55 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I totally know what you mean! I was working full time with one child, and now I have 2 kids, and only work once a week. It's so busy with 2 kids so that makes the time go fast and working keeps me sane so I can talk to adults. I also am part of a mom's group. Check out www.meetup.com that's where I found mine. It is my savior! a bunch of mom's like me, there are playdates almost every day and I pick and choose what I want to do. I love it, and so do my kids. If there's not one in your area, check out the churches in your area, they usually have playgroups and mom's day. Or start one in your neighborhood. Good luck!

NO EXCUSES


 current weight: 215.0 
222
204
186
168
150
AFECAY's Photo AFECAY Posts: 40
5/30/10 9:56 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Being a stay at home Mum means that I get to look after my gorgeous 16 month old daughter. We get to go for walks together and I take her to music class and swimming.

It also comes with doing the housework which is fine but you can't do that all the time.

How do you cope with being home all the time, going to swimming and music is fine but it is the adult interaction that I miss the most.

I've gone from working full time to staying at home full time. I thought the adjustment would be over by now but it isn't. I love going for a walk with my daughter or having coffee with her but she can't hold a conversation yet and that is what I am missing the most.

4th Jan = 114 kg
9th September = 106 kg

Kept 8 kilos off since January, happy about that now for the rest of them!
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Parents of Infants (Up to Age 2) General Team Discussion Forum Posts

Topics:
Last Post:



Thread URL: https://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=0x22487x34481427

Review our Community Guidelines