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TARK1980's Photo TARK1980 SparkPoints: (1,132)
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1/17/15 2:57 P

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Yea fairness is very broad but so very important I think. The world is very unfair and there is lot's we cannot control. That said, the things that are not out of my power should be fair 'where possible.
To me in some ways fairness directly incorporates other values. For example, me being fair means I give people chances and forgive and listen to there side of events etc etc. So mercy and compassion and kindness sort of come under the fairness umbrella for me.

Humility is a strange one. As said I not scared to say sorry and will admit my faults etc. Well I may be a bit scared too but that is where my other value courage kicks in lol. I am not a huge fan of authority if I am honest and humility seems to accept authority lol.

Still trying to work out fully the other ones :)

I also like the idea of them being a compass. It directs your life and decisions to your real self!


CHANGZWALK's Photo CHANGZWALK Posts: 8,500
1/17/15 1:25 P

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emoticon good choices... I like the idea of a compass.

as I was reading your comments, I think "fairness" is a biggie for me ~ I will look up humility ~ I never want to be overbearing but I also don't want to be bullied by people either and need to find a good balance.

Edited by: CHANGZWALK at: 1/19/2015 (20:21)
TARK1980's Photo TARK1980 SparkPoints: (1,132)
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1/17/15 11:41 A

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Hi all,

Sorry I have not been around to reply its been a rough couple of days. Family stuff and then that had a knock on effect with my eating.


Thank you so much for the though put into the relies! It has given me loads to think about.
Even though I have had a lot going on the past couple of days, the value thing has been quite at the fore front of my thoughts.

I have done some more reading and it is interesting. They say our values are like a compass for our life. They guide our desicions we make. Apparently if all we did was follow our true values each day, that one thing would have a huge impact on our happiness.

You see I thought Humility would be one of mine. I looked up the meaning and only some of it sort of applied to me.

I am the kind of person who will admit my mistakes and say I am sorry! Without a doubt I will say sorry if I am in the wrong. Also I will sometimes say sorry and take the blame just to keep the peace. I am no push over at all but I do know my faults and weaknesses and my strengths.
I hate it when i meet people that never admit it if they are wrong!! Ever!

So i think as I said Fairness is my top one. I like things to be fair in life. I like people to be treated fairly and myself. 'Often I am not treated fair tho'
Courage and loyalty for sure is another 2.
Kindness I think is important but I am not sure if its one of my 5. I like kind people and I try to be kind. I love people that are forgiving and give people chances as this is what I do. Not sure what that comes under.

But yea it can be hard to pin point your main ones
I am also able to see things from many angles. So I can see from a wide range of perspectives. So I can always see where the person is coming from or how they may see things. Not sure that is a value though.

Self development is great :)

BLUEJAY1969's Photo BLUEJAY1969 Posts: 9,506
1/15/15 7:56 P

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Wow - you put so much thought into that that I don't know that I can add much except that it also takes courage to put yourself out there and open up to folks and ask for help when you need it. It takes courage to change your lifestyle!

"and I said to my body softly; "I want to be your friend." it took a long breath and replied; "I have been waiting my whole life for this." - Nayyirah Waheed

Mountain Standard Time, USA

Hugs,
Jeanne


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CHANGZWALK's Photo CHANGZWALK Posts: 8,500
1/15/15 3:20 P

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emoticon one of the things that surprised me about The Spark book was the info on goals and identifying our core values. It was worth the read and helped me with this :)


Edited by: CHANGZWALK at: 1/19/2015 (20:20)
TARK1980's Photo TARK1980 SparkPoints: (1,132)
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1/15/15 11:24 A

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having very busy day but will reply to this tomorrow. :)

.DUSTY.'s Photo .DUSTY. Posts: 32,415
1/15/15 12:11 A

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Great advice Carole! And of course the 10 Commandments.

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AZCAROLE's Photo AZCAROLE Posts: 1,070
1/14/15 8:26 P

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Zac-when working on self improvement the possibilities are limitless! A good place to start is think of people you admire in like-what are their good qualities.

Of course I would consider the 10 commandments to be core values-and I could not choose 5 out of the 10.

Being an honest, caring, feeling person with integrity will not make you boring or turn you into a person that is not fun. As you change you may find that some actions/situations you partook of in the past no longer fit your lifestyle-but you will see them for what they are, damaging, rather than enhancing your life!

Carole
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My achievements of tomorrow are solely based on my actions of today.


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.DUSTY.'s Photo .DUSTY. Posts: 32,415
1/14/15 7:33 P

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Hi Zac!

This is definitely the place to post things like this. It helps us (hopefully) to learn more about ourselves and why we do what we do.

I have a hard time with things like this. I just did a Google search on personal core values and there's lots of info. So interesting. I remember Dr. Phil did a series on something similar like what defines you.

"A core value is only a true core value if it has an active influence and if people manage to live by it, at least most of the time.
Core values are the guiding principles that dictate behavior and action."

Here's a short list of what I found:

Dependable
Reliable
Loyal
Committed
Open-minded
Consistent
Honest
Efficient
Innovative
Creative
Humorous
Fun-loving
Adventurous
Motivated
Positive
Optimistic
Inspiring
Passionate
Respectful
Athletic
Fit
Courageous
Educated
Respected
Loving
Nurturing

There's a few from above that I didn't think were core values?


I don't think core values are written in stone and I think they may change during the years.

I'm a vegetarian and believe we don't need to kill animals for food. Nowadays there are plenty of alternatives. But on the other hand if I were in a dire situation that my life or health depended on eating meat I'm sure I would. It's like I wouldn't know if or until I was in that situation.

Just like I don't believe in murder but it would depend on the situation.

It's kind of like "never say never" :)

I'll be interested in seeing what others have to say.

Thanks for posting! Hugs!

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ASHBUG1's Photo ASHBUG1 Posts: 4,405
1/14/15 7:03 P

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not sure what you are referring to but all the things you listed are admiral moral values to have and you can still be fun and funny .


you can if you think you can


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TARK1980's Photo TARK1980 SparkPoints: (1,132)
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1/14/15 5:54 P

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Hey all,

Was not sure if this was something I should post or not. It is something I am giving a LOT of thought to in personal change, but can be a bit complicated.

Anyway been trying to figure out my personal core values. It is actually quite tricky as you think you have found them then you think no.... I hear you should have 5?

Problem is how do you know when you hit home on your core values?? Anyone know lol.
I have a rough idea but not sure. Fairness and Loyalty seem to be my definate top 2. Then I am thinking things like courage, kindness and humility.
As I said though, I have no idea if the last 3 are my real core values.
It is quite important for me to work on this and I do find it interesting

I just worry I am doing it wrong and I may have wrong values.. Apparently sometimes things we think are, are our main ones are not.

Thing that bothers me is I like to think I am a fun person and love to laugh! Yet when I look at the 5 main values, they do not seem fun to me? Make me feel boring, even though in some ways they feel right. Not sure if fun stuff comes under secondary values lol.
Anyway as said I find it a bit confusing.

Hope it was ok to post this. As said I find it interesting and along with the weight loss I am really working on myself emoticon

Edited by: TARK1980 at: 1/14/2015 (17:55)
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