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LILLIAN364's Photo LILLIAN364 SparkPoints: (0)
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3/1/09 2:37 P

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Day 78 Ditch the Critic

There are many times that I feel that I don't do enough. I don't work hard enough. Nothing is good enough. However, I'm getting better about giving myself a pat on the back as I get older. I feel good about my body. I no longer see myself as fat and ugly. It took me too long to realize that I'm beautiful just the way I am.

We all have faults but punishing ourselves does no good. The world outside is hard enough.

Maintenance range. 127 to 132.

LIfe should not only be lived, it should be celebrated! (Osho)

 current weight: 135.3 
TRACY381's Photo TRACY381 SparkPoints: (17,682)
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11/17/08 6:02 A

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Great lesson for today because it is very difficult to change the thoughts that come so quickly to mind at times.
I grew up with an alcoholic father who was never happy with anything I did and picked on me a lot. Always at Sunday suppers too~I still hate having big dinners on Sundays because of that.

It feels good to say to myself I can do this or to think about how far I've come. Weightloss isn't just about the number on the scale either. When I get discouraged I think about the non-scale victories~the behaviours I am changing or the other things I am doing~building lifelong habits. I'm not perfect everyday but at some point the baby steps add up!

Praying that this team is successful and we can all make it through the holiday season without too much damage!

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11/17/08 5:45 A

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Well in this section of reading she is hitting me hard. I am so tough on myself!

I think it has a lot to do with my generation and how I was brought up. There was no such thing as being out of work sick unless you were almost dead. I still hold myself to those early teachings. Now many co workers will be out of work with a simple headache. I am glad that I have the standards I have but it has been hard when expecting others to abide by the same rules.

I guess the rules all changed and no one told me.

I was also told way too many times if you can't do it right then don't do it at all. Now as a child I was doing task the best that I could ( for instance cleaning the house ) but not with the skill of an adult. This began to lower my confidence and self esteem. Even today more than 45 years later I can hear my mother's words ring in my ear. On this particular day I "cleaned the house" to the best of my ability while she was at work, I must have been around 9 years old. I could not wait for her to get home and I just knew that she would be so happy. The only words I heard from her was that I did not do the bathroom good enough. I don't think she can even imagine the hurt and damage that was done in that one split minute.

So I have continued through life with the "not good enough" mentality.

Charlene - SC

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

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 Pounds lost: 39.0 
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