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DALAI_LALA's Photo DALAI_LALA Posts: 2,716
7/26/09 11:18 P

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Hey Cassie! I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. I don't know if it's part of how we got this way, but I've noticed a trend among those of us who have been very large (mid-200's and up)... many of us seem to have anxiety and panic attack issues. It might be part of the eating disorder phenomena.

At any rate, YES, we totally know how you feel. The best part is that you are starting to recognize and own these feelings instead of letting them own you. Soon you will feel more confident and able to handle them each time something comes up, because you know what is happening to you and what to do, and especially that it will all be OKAY.

I'll just share that a few weeks ago, actually, last month at the start of my monthly, I was working myself into a good old fashioned panic attack. I hadn't had one in nearly six months, but before I got completely lost in it I realized what I was doing. It was the first time I had ever realized it in the middle and not the end (when it's too late). I was able to make myself breathe and get distracted with something.

So, that's what I mean when I say that being able to recognize these moments is absolutely the best thing. That insight will help you take care of yourself the next time!

emoticon

- Lala

"Being defeated is often temporary, giving up makes it permanent." - Marilyn vos Savant

"We expect these things to change by waking up, and suddenly there they are." - Toad


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SALEE100's Photo SALEE100 SparkPoints: (0)
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7/26/09 5:58 P

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CASSIES- don't know if this is the same thing but last time I lost weight (a couple of weeks ago) I looked at myself in the mirror and I could see the difference. I tried on some of my clothes and noticed they were looser and then I tried on some older clothes that I haven't been able to wear and they fit... It sort of startled me and I wasn't mentally prepared for it. Then I started worrying that I was going to shrivel up and float away. It made no sense because I know I used to be this size before... I felt uncomfortable in my skin and flimsy or weak... But I told myself that I was fine and I was in control of my body and I was getting healthier and more fit. Then I distracted myself and forgot about it. Now I'm fine at my size/weight but I don't know if I'll have that same reaction the next time the scale moves down...

It sounds like you came out of it just like I did and that's great. I've read that losing weight is a mental journey as much as it is physical and that you have to see yourself as your goal weight so you can accept it, not fight it... Does this make sense?

Edited by: SALEE100 at: 7/26/2009 (17:58)
~ Susan

Even if our efforts of attention seem for years to be producing no results, one day a light in the exact proportion to them will flood the soul.
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CASSIES's Photo CASSIES Posts: 1,376
7/25/09 11:11 P

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Thanks guys for your inspiring words and support.

The rest of the day was just great. I hate those uncomfortabe feelings, but I seem to be able to take them on with a new sense of awareness and honesty.
Its all good as they say.

I got to watch that so you think you can dance....The hot tamale train sounds..mmmm..hot emoticon


�The more we witness our emotional reactions and understand how they work, the easier it is to refrain.� ― Pema Ch�dr�n



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BARBARA_BOO's Photo BARBARA_BOO Posts: 9,794
7/25/09 2:53 P

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Yeah, CASSIE, what THEY said.
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Been there, too. I'm glad you've decided to leave the "hypotheticals" for another time. You'll be fine.

Throw on some music while you clean & let it all hang out! You are on my "hot tamale train"! (You'll know what that means if you're a fan of "So You Think You Can Dance".)


Edited by: BARBARA_BOO at: 7/25/2009 (14:54)
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ROYALETBONE's Photo ROYALETBONE SparkPoints: (46,524)
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7/25/09 1:53 P

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Hey, Cassie- I'm glad to hear that you are already turning the corner on those feelings. Yup, all feelings are 'valid'... feelings are like smells, or tastes, they just are. Let them be, act out of the adult witness, stay aware, know you are loved.
Try 'acting as if' you are a successful woman. You are, you know. You have proved yourself over and over. What are you doing when you win? Try to do some of that...
Look at how far you've come- you are doing so well!

Mare-

Direction, not perfection!

It's not a DIE-et- it's a LIVE-it!

I am a kind of pranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - JD Salinger



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CASSIES's Photo CASSIES Posts: 1,376
7/25/09 12:51 P

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thanks for your reply. I am glad you can relate. And I know the solution is to just let all these thoughts go and get involved in something else. Right now I am on consumer reports looking at cell phones and then I will take on some kind of cleaning as I wait for the cable guy.

Thankyou, thankyou, thanyou for your support. It has really helped right now.

Love,
Cassie

Edited by: CASSIES at: 7/25/2009 (12:51)

�The more we witness our emotional reactions and understand how they work, the easier it is to refrain.� ― Pema Ch�dr�n



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LOSTINPAPERWORK's Photo LOSTINPAPERWORK Posts: 202
7/25/09 12:44 P

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I have felt everything you are feeling; you aren't alone. :-) One thing for me though, is that with weight, "What you fear, you create" seems to ring very true. The more I focus and dwell on it, the more anxiety I feel and the more I am bombarded with the "what ifs"-- what if when I go here, I eat too much, or what if I go there and they have any sweets out, how will I stay away from them?" and the more I eat. My advice is to really just try and think of other things- get focused on something else- write letters, scrap book, clean the house- listen to music! :-) Whatever it takes to help you not feel so overwhelmed with your thoughts.
I know when there have been times when my clothes don't fit anymore I feel very "lost" like, "ok then WHERE do I fit in physically? How big/small AM I??" and that causes anxiety in and of itself.
I wish I had some magic words for you, but I know that I have definitely felt the way you are feeling and you will get through it. :-)

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CASSIES's Photo CASSIES Posts: 1,376
7/25/09 12:33 P

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I'm feeling calmer now after a cry and just being able to sit with my feelings, but earlier today I was feeling quite stressed/anxious...a generalized aggitated/angry and sort of out of control feeling.

I was feeling afraid to eat because if I eat to soon then I might use up all my calories. I am mentally focusing to much on losing weight and I am afraid that I am going to gain all the weight back. Do you guys ever experience this? I think in the past when I "dieted" I was always in this state. Now, I am happy I recognize it and work with it. I am just wondering if and how others experience this.

I also got sort of thrown off when I was cleaning my closet and trying on clothes to find that my pants really don't fit me anymore.

Of course its a wonderful problem to have, but it also made me feel a little groundless. I don't know if I can explain it much better than that right now.

I am also getting afraid of going back to work in September and wondering if the re-entry into workig and commuting will make me go back to overeating.

Thesed are all valid feelings, but maybe is something hormonally becaseu I do find when I get this anxious and overwhelmed there is something more to it. Its like the hormones put a magnifying glass on everything around me and its just all too much.

AAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGH, its just one of those days where I feel scared. Soooooo, I guess I should just shake myself up and get out of my head! emoticon


�The more we witness our emotional reactions and understand how they work, the easier it is to refrain.� ― Pema Ch�dr�n



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