The ranting room

current weight: 212.0

240 225 210 195

180

I WANT MY BROTHER BACK with ME.... I miss his voice
I am also sooooooo Mad at people using his Death for
their own personal gain...... UGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

current weight: 174.0

225 206.25 187.5 168.75

150

Thank you Deby! Hugs and sending light your way!!

current weight: 212.0

240 225 210 195

180

((((((((( HUGz PAT )))))))))))))))

current weight: 174.0

225 206.25 187.5 168.75

150

I'm mostly tired and worried about my sister.

current weight: 212.0

240 225 210 195

180

I find myself having Very ANGRY moments ...............
My brother is in his last days. he is miles n miles away


Edited by: --DEBY-- at: 2/7/2018 (13:04)

current weight: 174.0

225 206.25 187.5 168.75

150

Our son, 52yrs passed away on Oct 5, 2016. JOHN PASSED with Colon cancer. Just before he was diagnosed, the dr. Said nothing was wrong with him. Even though he had lost almost 100lbs. In 1 year. That dr. Has since left town.

The surgeon said that he wanted to give John 2-3months. Of good things. He fought it for 13 mos.

He always said he would care for me.

current weight: 159.0

181 168.25 155.5 142.75

130

Many hugs Deby!

Sometimes I feel so sad and angry and how could have my brother died from falling in the kitchen after surviving Vietnam, the loss of his wife and child, open heart surgery and other bypasses. My husband fell the other day in the kitchen, and it really brought up a lot of anger and heartbreak with my brother's loss. Plus my SIL's loss and how she didn't take care of herself. I'm letting it flow a bit and will write more later. It actually feels good to let it flow! Thank you!

Edited by: VEGGIEPAT at: 3/7/2017 (08:30)

current weight: 212.0

240 225 210 195

180

current weight: 174.0

225 206.25 187.5 168.75

150

Sometimes... I find myself STUCK on Anger... at the fact ...
that sooooooooooo many of my loves are now in Spirit form....

current weight: 174.0

225 206.25 187.5 168.75

150

I sort of got in an argument with my mom last night. My brother Bob passed away in August, and we are still trying to adjust to his death, and it seems to be putting a rift between the rest of the remaining family. Still moving forward....

current weight: 212.0

240 225 210 195

180

I'm trying to get on the right track, but my head doesn't want to co operate. Working on it slowly but surely.

current weight: 212.0

240 225 210 195

180

My computer hasn't been working right, but today seems to be ok, so I will continue the rant on my SIL and my mother. I love my mother very much, but I feel like the black sheep of the family, because I'm the oldest living one now and she babies my younger 4 siblings. It might sound like I am a baby about it, but I miss being around them, but when I am I get so mad. My anger is coming out and I figure it's better to write about it than to vent it to them. I'm mad at doctors too, whosee to be giving him the run around with his illness. But praying and love seems to help

current weight: 212.0

240 225 210 195

180

I feel like ranting and raving about my sister in law. She is very cold, and told me there was plenty of time for tears. My brother loved her, but she also was the sister of his first wife, that had committed suicide and killed their 8 month daughter.

current weight: 212.0

240 225 210 195

180

Sending love and prayers out to all of you.

Pounds lost: 21.0

0 22.75 45.5 68.25

91

Smurfette--My heart goes out to you. Sending a bucket full of comfort.

current weight: 143.5

169 162.625 156.25 149.875

143.5

Bella, I feel your pain. I lost my mom 49 days ago and I still think about calling her several times a day before I realize she is gone. The feeling I get is like a big lump rising in my throat, and deep sadness. Almost like she just died a minute ago. It happens randomly. Yesterday I was at the grocery store barely able to get through my shopping only because I wanted to ask her how much breadcrumbs I needed to buy to make 100 meatballs. I hate not being able to control my emotions in public:(!

current weight: 150.0

186 172.75 159.5 146.25

133

Bella, hon, I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. I'm glad that your BF is supportive, though.

A few days ago, my Dad passed away, so I'm with you on this grieving journey.

With much love and many, many hugs, Laurie

current weight: 219.5

225 200 175 150

125

Bella,

I feel your pain. My mother passed away today 8 weeks ago. Your post helps me to realize that what I experience is normal. I grieve with you in your loss.

Edited by: WARMSPRINGDAY at: 10/3/2010 (11:54)

Pounds lost: 22.0

0 34.25 68.5 102.75

137

Continue to think of Fridays as your special day with her. She may feel just a little closer or over your shoulder. Write her a journal entry every Fri. as if you were calling her. She isn't really gone, just closer to your heart now.

Edited by: COSMIC_ENERGY at: 10/4/2012 (23:03)

current weight: 143.5

169 162.625 156.25 149.875

143.5

hugs to you Bella.

Pounds lost: 69.4

0 41.25 82.5 123.75

165

Fridays are hard for me as well. Fridays were always the day my mom and i spent together and she passed away on a friday.

Last night i was in the store with my bf Tim and when we got to the car i had a sudden panic feeling,that i hadn't called my mom, or that she was sitting alone at home and no one had taken care of her. Then it hit me so hard that she is gone. She died June 11, 2010 and i still find myself wanting to go to the phone to tell her this or that. It just hurts so bad. I cried all the way home and when we got home, i was saying I was sorry for breaking down and he came around and helped me out the car and pulled me into his arms and just held me. this is so hard and it just really hurts

Merry Christmas! May your holiday be filled with comfort and joy with those still around you. May you start new traditions or honor old ones in memory of someone no longer on this plane of existence. May you reach out to someone else who may be in pain in empathy.

current weight: 143.5

169 162.625 156.25 149.875

143.5

My thoughts and prayers are with each of you who are facing this Christmas Day without one of their loved ones. This is my first Christmas without my mother-in-law.

current weight: 147.0

187 176.5 166 155.5

145

April Minutes: 0

0 360 720 1080

1440

Crissy, my mother-in-law also passed on Friday, 4 weeks today. I will be hating Fridays for awhile to.
Hang in there. Hugs

current weight: 147.0

187 176.5 166 155.5

145

Ranting....I hate Fridays. Halleigh was born on a Friday and died on a Friday. It has been 11 weeks since she passed and 12 weeks since I got the call that turned my world upside down and inside out. It seems so hard to believe that it has been 11 weeks...I want you home with me like we used to be. I HATE FRIDAYS!!!

Pounds lost: 69.4

0 41.25 82.5 123.75

165

Thank you ladies. It's just hard for me to comprehend how people, much less family, can be so cruel and cold hearted. What happens to people, I know they aren't born that way. What happens to change them? How can siblings raised by the same parents turn out so completely different? I don't get it.

current weight: 147.0

187 176.5 166 155.5

145

My thoughts of support to you LadyDi....for some it is all about the money. They will always be like that. It amazed me that my ex husband has spent more time talking to me about money in regards to Halleigh than talking to his lone surviving daughter (my 13 year old---the baby is from my second marriage)....one would think he would have learned to quit being a crappy dad after Halleigh. But it has always been about the money. I am so sorry for you having to deal with this. Sending hugs to you and hopes that she will stop soon and let you move on.

Pounds lost: 69.4

0 41.25 82.5 123.75

165

That´s right, Laurie! Give it to ´em!!! Smurfette knows!

April Minutes: 0

0 360 720 1080

1440

LADYDI- I agree with you and your husband. It seems the perfect way to resolve the whole horrible thing. What a witch! I also agree with your view- what goes around comes around. I have also noticed that people, who treat others badly, usually are living little, ugly, miserable lives. I just wish there were not any children involved...That's always the saddest thing. So, send your DH's Mom's spirit over to check on that little one and see if you can tell her something like, "Do you know what it means when the trees are dancing (wind blowing them)? It means that everybody in your family loves you very very much. Never forget that." The Mom has made her bed and must live in it, but children should never be punished for the stupidity and heartlessness of adults, if you ask me. Take care and remember- this is a tough time for you and your DH, so don't try to do too much. Much love and many hugs, Laurie

current weight: 219.5

225 200 175 150

125

Thanks for the hugs Jude, I appreciate you taking time to read my rant.

current weight: 147.0

187 176.5 166 155.5

145

current weight: 143.5

169 162.625 156.25 149.875

143.5

Again, thank you Jude. I do know it's not about us and if my husband wasn't the executor we wouldn't have to be in the middle of it, but he is. The other sister is being very supportive of my husband by email, she lives in OR so that is some what of a comfort. I am a firm believer that what goes around comes around and I have see it happen time and time again so I know this will all come back to haunt her. I tell my husband that she is teaching her 2 daughter how to treat her when she is old and helpless. I truly appreciate your support and compassion Jude, sometimes we just need to vent to people who are not involved in the situation, they have a much clearer picture as their emotions are not invested in the situation. God Bless you.



Edited by: LADYDI2049 at: 11/4/2009 (09:29)

current weight: 147.0

187 176.5 166 155.5

145

That's a good way to take care of it. Just know--it's not about you or your husband, but all about her. Is your husband the executor?

Try to ignore her drama and enjoy the wedding prep. It is about living in the moment.

current weight: 143.5

169 162.625 156.25 149.875

143.5

Thank you Jude for your input. My husband and I had to make all of Mom's burial arrangements and do all the notifying and haven't had time yet to even think about the distribution of the inheritence yet, our emotions are still so raw. The sister took $2800 so when it comes time that amount will just be deducted from her 1/3. Seems it's always the person who treated the deceased the worst that expects the most.
I am really trying to focus on my son's upcoming wedding, but it is so difficult.

current weight: 147.0

187 176.5 166 155.5

145

This is never a good time when there is strife within the family. It's bad enough to suffer this loss, but then to have a fight over the inheritance just kills relationships. Not knowing what she took, your husband may have to involve a lawyer to straighten it out.

Sending you buckets of peacefully resolutions

current weight: 143.5

169 162.625 156.25 149.875

143.5

I need to vent. My dear mother-in-law has only been in the ground a week and a half and already the vultures are circling. My one sister in law abandoned her relationship with her mother almost 3 yrs ago, refused to see her or talk to her for what ever reason. My husband and his other sister were furious when she did this and ceased contact with her. Unfortunately this sister was on all the financial accounts along with my husband. Before Mom got so sick she requested that daughter be removed from her accounts. My husband went to the bank and got all the paperwork needed, Mom signed all the papers and then they had to be sent to the sister for her to sign. My husband sent them certified/registered mail and the sister refused to sign for the mail and it came back to us. When Mom passed my husband closed out all the investment accounts and put the money in a new account but kept the checking account open to pay the remainder of Moms bills. When the sister found out Mom had passed she closed out the checking account and took all the money. Now she has contacted my husband demanding "the money she is entitled to." I had a feeling all along something like this would happen, it seems to be the way it goes in a lot of families. It just makes the pain of Mom's passing so much more intense.

current weight: 147.0

187 176.5 166 155.5

145

Sometimes it is difficult to be your own best friend. I try to remember the saying that goes something like this "A best friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway." I think we know ourselves so well and many times tend to focus on the negatives about ourselves instead of the positives and in turn that can cause difficulty in being your own friend.

current weight: 147.0

187 176.5 166 155.5

145

You are such a friend to many Laurie! We always have been able to be our own friend, but life's circumstances would like to cover that up and put road blocks in place. Our job is to climb over and get out the map back to our hearts.

sorry to hear about the Poison ivy! Here comes a bucket of cooling white light from the stars to pour over your face in healing.

current weight: 143.5

169 162.625 156.25 149.875

143.5

OK, everybody, so I was itching my swollen face at 4 am after tending my poison ivy garden when, on a whim, I decided to add myself as a Spark Friend. Well, did you know that we are not allowed to add ourselves as a Spark Friend? I think that we should be able to be friends with ourselves. After all, NOT being friends with oneself is what gets us into unhealthy living in the first place.So, I am ranting ! Love and hugs to all of you and give YOURSELF a hug, too! Laurie

current weight: 219.5

225 200 175 150

125

Oh, Lynn, I'm so sorry that you are having this worst part of life all at once. It's like a knockout punch. Packing up our daughters' things is a nightmare and a half. It's as if we are accepting that they are gone forever, but I don't accept that fully yet and it has been three years plus. As a Mom, I can't get my heart around her death.

I don't understand the grandchildren being taken by CPS. Don't they realize that these kids need to be with family at this time? I don't blame you for being broken-hearted at your daughter's efforts to make the system see that they belong with her. It's so touching and government agencies don't always "see" the human factor- the loving, caring person right before their eyes. It's so sad.I hope that there will now be a time when things go your way.I know you're at the end of your rope and you miss your baby, Mary. It's no wonder. But it turns out that Moms have to soldier on even through the worst of times, right? It's our job.Take care, hon. You are in my thoughts and prayers each day. With much love and many, many hugs, Laurie

current weight: 219.5

225 200 175 150

125

I went with my son-in-law, Matt, and my youngest daughter, Amanda, this weekend to pack up my daughter's things. I had no idea how hard it would be. The CPS had taken my grandchildren in August and my daughter was doing everything she could to get them back. She had fixed up the house so nice and the girls rooms were set up for them to walk in. The beds were even turned down. My heart just broke that she sat there night after night, waiting for her girls. I don't know how much more I can handle. I know Mary is with God but I sure miss her.

current weight: 166.4

308 264.75 221.5 178.25

135

LYNN- Do you trust the people who have your grandchildren? I wish they could be with you so you could shower them with hugs and kisses. I do not trust the people who have my daughter's little guy, so it is a terrible worry. I pray that all of our dear ones are safe and that God- the power of love- will get them through. What a tough spot we're in. I hope that you WILL dream of your daughter's joy in heaven. My daughter is up there tap dancing with Gene Kelly as we speak. What was your daughter's favorite wish? It will come true in heaven for certain. Worrying about the kids is something we share and, if I find a cure for that, I'll let you know immediately. Much love and many hugs,Laurie

current weight: 219.5

225 200 175 150

125

current weight: 204.2

217 204 191 178

165

It is 3:40 AM and I woke up crying. I guess I was dreaming and all I could hear was my grandchildren crying for their Mom. They are not here so it was a dream. I wish I could dream of her joy in heaven and not our pain here in the world. Pray for my grandchildren Destiny, Micah and Darby, they need a touch from God.
Thank you,
Lynn

current weight: 166.4

308 264.75 221.5 178.25

135

WHITELOTUS- Your positive comments and soothing white light have kept me going during many trials and tribulations. Who cares if we have beanstalks growing out of our livingroom carpets? LOL Anyway, keep on being your beautiful, positive self and God bless you, friend.

current weight: 219.5

225 200 175 150

125

LYNN- You CLEAN HOUSE when you are upset? Wow, girl, may WHITELOTUS and I borrow you for about a month because we have the OPPOSITE reaction!You are a stalwart, family-centered woman and I admire you for your purposeful life. OF COURSE the tears come. That is the human way and there are no robots on this forum (that I KNOW about anyway). We just band together in our grief and hold each other up. What else can we do? God bless and keep you, Harley-riding ! With much love and many hugs, Laurie

current weight: 219.5

225 200 175 150

125

PURPLEVIOLET- It still has not been a long time since your mom passed. You are allowed to feel helpless and hopeless and heartsick. You may feel close to her in your garden, where you spent many happy hours.If you weep while you do yard work, don't be surprised and if anybody doesn't like it or doesn't understand, we'll send the orange-headed non-motor cycle gang to get 'em:
In the meantime, please know that we're here and we have gone through similar horrible days. There have been moments when I have set down my rake and just lost it and fell to my knees and wept loudly because the sadness overwhelmed me. I have found that I cannot always control the times and places when missing my loved one comes over me like a wave. So, I cry and if the people around me don't like it, they can go soak their heads! Life is NOT the same anymore and it is NOT fair and other people SHOULD notice and bring the whole world to a stop because she is gone. Grieving is the toughest part of life and I hope that you will take care of you and keep on swimming even when you feel like just giving up. Your Mom is your guardian angel now and probably has the best-looking yard in heaven, which you will get to see eventually, but you still have things to do down here first. She'd be mad at you if you gave up entirely and you know it. You can give up PARTIALLY because you're fed up with not having her here and you can do nothing any day you need to, but you are not allowed to give up entirely. I'm sending you love and a million hugs. I'm not your mom, but I am A mom and you will be in my thoughts whenever I garden this year.Take care, hon. Love, Laurie

current weight: 219.5

225 200 175 150

125

Lynn--It must be very hard to feel the loss (altho different) of both grandchildren. I'm so sorry. You are stronger than you may believe. Somehow we make it through. Reach out to friends if you can--see a counselor if you need to and can afford to. Big hugs and blessings.--Jude

current weight: 143.5

169 162.625 156.25 149.875

143.5

I guess I am the opposite. I am rearranging rooms, spring cleaning, planting the garden. My father died 12/21/08 and my daughter on 2/24/09. Now my great grandaughter (Marlee 4 mths)(my oldest daughter's grand child, not my daughter who just passed away) has been taken by her father. I know everything is in God's hands but I can't stop the tears, I guess that is alright though because Jesus Wept. God bless each of you on this journey.
Love,
Lynn

current weight: 166.4

308 264.75 221.5 178.25

135

Laurie--I'm with you there! I hate to clean and your could start a farm on my carpets!

current weight: 143.5

169 162.625 156.25 149.875

143.5

((hugs))

current weight: 204.2

217 204 191 178

165