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7/1/18 3:04 P

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Deb, I started the July Chat! And DBT is hard, but I'm trying my best!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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"Learning to Love Yourself is the Greatest Love of All" ~Whitney Houston


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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 15,121
7/1/18 6:42 A

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Rissa, you are doing everything right !! DBT is such a great discipline !! You will enjoy it I am sure !! It is a great way to improve bad thinking and negative behaviors. Yes, I'm sure that you will hear from me about my 4th. I still have my plans up in the air. I may spend time with Christine, my best friend. She is not celebrating either, so we can not celebrate together. lol

It is Sunday and food stamps are here, so off I go to the grocery store. I will be getting as much fresh fruit and veggies as I can eat in a week. I have to shop by the week, because I can only carry that much home at once. I use two big recycled and recyclable bags to carry my groceries. I don't like those wire carriers, which might expand my ability to carry groceries, but they are so awkward and take up so much room on the bus. I hate them when I have to deal with them and I am sure that they don't make that much difference. They aren't that big. That is the plan for today. As for the rest of the day - it's up in the air. The weather will be nice and I will get out for a long walk today, so that I can compliment my strength training efforts. The 5% Challenge just started and I am ready to go with the exercise !! I have to get my spread sheet weight totals done before Monday and I have people who don't understand the process, so I am helping them with their numbers and the documentation. That shouldn't take too long to get caught up today. I hope that you all have a really nice day filled with blessings !! Sending positive energy and emoticon to those that need them. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

Edited by: DEBTEVELDAHL at: 7/1/2018 (06:43)
Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Deb
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6/30/18 8:04 P

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Deb, I remember grocery shopping without a car... it was so hard! I hated doing it. ((hugs)) I hope that it goes well! I hope your 4th goes well, too! I'm sure I'll hear about it in the July Chat!

Karri, it sounds like you are doing what you need to do for your dog! I'm glad things went well with the surgeon.

Thanks for the compliments on the fence. It's a lot of work. I'm in a lot of pain today from working on it. I'm just relaxing today. My mood is okay. I've been trying to keep up with my DBT stuff. It's a lot, trying to do everything at once, but I'm doing it.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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6/30/18 8:17 A

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Rissa, that looks great! And professional!

Deb, good luck with the grocery shopping!

My follow up actually went great, we came up with an action plan for me and a new goal (I had the goal in mind and got the surgeon to okay it). It's going to be hard work, but it is going to be so worth it!

I bought the main stuff for my pup. A huge kennel, some chew toys,wipes, pee pads, the basics. I figure I'll buy a little, just a few things a month and eventually I'll have what all I want for the pup. The main thing was the kennel and a hands free leash for the pup so that at the park I can let go of the leash if I need to and the leash will still be around my waist.

We went out to eat for the first time since my surgery. I had some fish and some steamed carrots and broccoli. Not much, but enough to get the flavor. Yum. Now I'm back on course and sticking to a new strict diet. Last night was a 'just because' and for fun. DH even took the kids out for sundae's afterwards.

~ Karri
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. ~Psalms 59-16


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6/30/18 6:23 A

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Good morning everyone,

Rissa, I'm glad that there is another time of day that you can take your pill. I hope that your side effects are not too serious and that this does the trick for you. Your fence is amazing !! You must have quite a bit of property to fence. You are doing a wonderful job and the care and workmanship show. It is a lovely fence and I'm sure that it is difficult working with wood. My only complaint with the deck builders at my apartment is that they just can't seem to get it together and work together. There are always these same two guys who argue with each other constantly about how they should do something, but never get around to doing anything. They are a real pain and they have held up production on this decking for some time. It's a good thing that these jobs are bid on, because if I were paying these guys by the hour, I would want a little more professionalism and quality customer service. They could be finished with this decking, but they have taken off for the Fourth of July holiday. They won't be back until after the Fourth, so we don't have to trip over them at least. I'm sorry that I sound so negative, but it is wearing on the nerves to have all this construction going on all the time and areas of the decking roped off to little kids and uncoordinated adults like me. They had the slats running up to my apartment door disconnected for three days and we were floating around as we stepped out of the house. I complain too much. It is just that the dirt, dust, noise and lack of coordination is getting to me big time. It is making me anxious and nervous all the time. I don't like it and neither does Micah. However, getting him to the park everyday is helping with him and keeping him out of trouble. Good luck on with the 5% Challenge !! Today is the day !! Let's make it a great one.

Have a wonderful weekend ladies !! I am not doing anything except going grocery shopping on the first. That is an ordeal for me, because the challenge is getting everything that I need home on the bus. I don't know what my daughter's plan is for the weekend, but she is off on vacation for the next nine days. She will have something going on today. She may take me to the store if she needs something too, but we will see. I try to be as independent as possible. We keep our food separate, so she doesn't necessarily have to take me to the store all the time. I can carry home about four days of food for me, in my two, large recycled bags. So, that is my challenge for the weekend. Our weather is supposed to be fairly nice, so that is good. The Fourth is looking sunny and warm for us. Have a great time with family and friends and be safe this holiday !! The fireworks have already started around here. You can hear them go off in the middle of the night from several areas of the neighborhood. I guess they can't wait for the Fourth. Have fun !! Sending positive energy and emoticon to all that need them. Deb emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Deb
PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast
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Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team
ML/WL co leader of the Rowdy Rebels Summer Challenge 2018
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6/29/18 9:37 P

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Karri, that's great about the Golden Retriever! Hopefully they can help you with your anxiety and PTSD as well! I know Angela helps me a lot with my anxiety when she's around! As for the surgery, just do what you can. My ex had it, but he ended up gaining the weight back because I did everything for him, instead of him wanting to do it for himself. I know you want to do it for you, so you can do it!

Deb, I talked to my doctor and he said I could take the pill in the afternoon. It won't work quite as well, but it's a lot better than waking up in the middle of the morning and having to lose sleep. I tried it today and while I did have some side effects, it's a lot better to be able to sleep! I'm glad they have your part of the deck finished, but let me tell you, as someone who's working with wood, it's hard work! It took 2 hours today just to frame this:



Then my brother and SIL came over, and it took us another hour, but we got all this done:



I'm exhausted! But it's looking amazing! It's going to last for a long, long time!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

5% Challenge, Cloverleafs Fall, Summer, Winter, Spring 2018 Challenge Leader
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6/29/18 7:43 A

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Hi all,

Karri, that is so great about your golden retriever !! They are wonderful dogs and so well behaved when trained. You will love it when he gets to you and you are training with him. I am excited for you !! I didn't know that you've recently had bariatric surgery. A sixteen pound loss in a month is great, actually. I wish that I could lose that in a month, when I gain weight it takes me twice as long to lose it again, so I try to stay in maintenance.

Rissa' I hope the doctor's office went well.

They have finally finished up our side of the upper deck replacement. They finished off in front of our door and the stairs yesterday. We finally have boards that are in place and nailed in, so that we don't fall through the floor. They took long enough to finish it. I wish that they were done with the whole thing. It would be nice not to have to have the TV up to maximum to hear the dumb thing. I have been taking Micah to the park everyday, so that we don't have to hear it and so that he can run some of his energy off. We had the new neighbor downstairs, come up the other day and ask Micah to quit running. Quite frankly, the guy drinks too much and was hungover the other day when he came up. Maybe if he didn't get so drunk he could get up in the morning like everyone else. Micah wasn't running that much and he shouldn't rate a complaint. However, in the spirit of good neighborship I have taken him to the park everyday to minimize the problem. I try to get up and be quiet, because I get up at 2:00 am or 3:00 am every day. I hope that I am not disturbing them then, but I think they are just getting to bed around that time of day.

I hope that you all have a great weekend and are ready for the holiday coming up on Wednesday. I am not doing anything except vegging. My daughter and her son are going to the beach. I don't know if they are just spending the day or if they will spend the night too. I will be spending the 4th at home binge watching Netflix. They have some new stuff that's come on in the last two weeks or so. I will finish watching The Blacklist and start on something new. Sending positive energy and emoticon to all that need them. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Deb
PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast
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Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team
ML/WL co leader of the Rowdy Rebels Summer Challenge 2018
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6/29/18 7:00 A

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Rissa, how did the doc appt go?

Deb, thanks! I'm getting a Golden Retriever. They wanted me to get a Golden Doodle, but they are so cute I'm afraid everyone would ask to pet her! LOL, I'd never get anywhere!

Saw a Golden Retriever in PetSmart the other day, so well behaved! You could tell she was so excited she was about to jump out of her skin, but she still sat when told and was a very good girl. I didn't ask to pet, because I didn't want to intrude.

Follow up with the bariatric surgeon today. I'm sure he's not going to be happy with how little I've lost, but I've made a new goal, I always do better with goals, and a way to accomplish it. I want to lose 40 pounds in the first three months. Month one is gone and I've lost about 16 pounds. But that was with me not really following the rules and eating wrong. I mean, I had lettuce yesterday (and a few other things...) not good for my healing stomach pouch. So I'm going to crochet or paint when I get emotional and eat to live, not live to eat.

~ Karri
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. ~Psalms 59-16


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6/28/18 7:32 A

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Hi Everyone !!

Karri, how exciting about the dog !! What a wonderful way to raise money for your dog by crocheting items, then selling/donating them online. What a great way to spend your time !! I'm so sorry that your PTSD, anxiety and depression are acting up. Did they change your meds lately? Another walk during the day sounds nice and therapeutic. Painting and crocheting are terrific coping mechanisms. I knit sometimes. I hope that you are feeling better soon and that the next two weeks go by fast for you before the puppy arrives !! Let us know what kind of dog you are getting.in a future post.

Rissa, good luck at the doctor's office today. I hope that you can find a solution to your waking up early problem. I am really a bear if I don't get my 6 or 7 hours in every night. It can really upset my day when I have trouble staying asleep. I don't know what a viable solution is for you, since you must wake up to take medication. I take stuff for my stomach daily too. I've had lots of ulcer trouble, so I can appreciate the medication need. Maybe the doctor will have some good ideas for you. I hate it when I wake up and can't get back to sleep. Maybe you can switch the time that you take your meds, so that it still gives you 24 hour protection, but you start off at a different time of the day, say 10:00 am daily for your 24 hour coverage instead of 7:00 am daily. You still get the same result once you begin the new time frame, but you aren't taking it as early. I've had to readjust some of the meds I take that way. Of course, then there is bridging the gap between 7:00 am and 10:00 am when you switch and that can't be pretty or you would have done this before. I wish that I had a viable solution for you, because I'm sure that you've thought of changing the time of day yourself. I hope that your doctor has a good idea on what to do. Let us know how you are doing and stay in touch. You'll want to get it solved before Saturday and the 5% Challenge begins. I wish you luck, my friend. Stomach issues are the worst.

Today is supposed to be partly cloudy. I guess that I will take Micah to the park earlier today than I did yesterday. We go every day, just about, because we live in an apartment on the upper floor and it really expends his energy at the Park. However, yesterday when we went there were only a few small, small children there during the time frame that we were, too. I think it is better to go early, not just because it beats the heat, although it does that well, but because there are older kids there who participate in the Summer camps at the park during the morning hours. They get a lot of free play and there are kids there for Micah to play with who are more his age. He has made friends with two of the older children, who are counselors for the Summer camps and they play tag with him, so that he runs constantly while we are there. I need for him to wear himself out on the play structures and by running, so I am going to take him around 10:00 am or so. We'll see if it makes the difference that I think that it will. Jeni is supposed to check out the Summer Camp offerings to see if she can't get Micah into Basketball or Soccer. I wish that she would hurry. Micah needs some stuff to do every day that is not running around the apartment constantly. I brought home all the information last week, so she may be waiting until her vacation begins this next week to sign him up. The fourth of July is coming up, so perhaps she can take care of that before the 4th. We'll see.

I hope that you all have a wonderful weekend coming up if I don't talk to you before then. It should be a nice one here. Have a tremendous Thursday !! Sending positive energy and emoticon to all that need them. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Deb
PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast
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Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team
ML/WL co leader of the Rowdy Rebels Summer Challenge 2018
Co leader of the Living with Bipolar Disorder


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6/28/18 6:15 A

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Wow, I need to check in more often! emoticon to the new team members!

I am having a rough time right now with PTSD, anxiety, and depression. So I'm going to start crocheting again and painting on my paint by number more than I have been. Must remember those coping skills! Also going to add an extra walk to my day, not a long one, maybe around the block or 10 minutes.

I was thinking, maybe I could put my crochet items up for donations (with minimum amounts so I don't lose money on supplies) for helping to pay for my service dog. It was a suggestion from my therapist and from a friend.

Two more weeks till I get my puppy! I can't wait!



~ Karri
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. ~Psalms 59-16


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6/26/18 5:11 P

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Welcome, both RPayne and Michelle! It's great to have some new people here! Thanks for joining us! We are going to be switching over to the July Chat in a couple of days, so don't miss it!

I'm tired today... I need some rest. I didn't get good sleep last night. I keep waking up around 7 am then not being able to fall back asleep. I need to talk to my stomach doctor about my pills. I have to take them in the middle of the morning, with no food in my stomach. When I wake up to take them, I can't fall back asleep for over an hour. I don't know what to do. I need them... without them I have horrible heartburn, so I need to figure out what to do. I see him on Thursday, so we will see! I hate not sleeping, especially in summer, when I get depressed. It just doesn't help.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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"Learning to Love Yourself is the Greatest Love of All" ~Whitney Houston


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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 15,121
6/26/18 8:51 A

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Hi Michelle emoticon and emoticon to the Living with Bipolar Disorder Team !! We are certainly happy to welcome you to the Team !! We are supportive and offer encouragement as you work towards your goals. Come visit us often, so that we can act as your cheer leaders and provide a place for you to vent, talk conversationally and ask questions. We are certainly happy that you have decided to join us !! Take care and God bless, Deb

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Deb
PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast
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Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team
ML/WL co leader of the Rowdy Rebels Summer Challenge 2018
Co leader of the Living with Bipolar Disorder


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SHELLEYMCELROY6's Photo SHELLEYMCELROY6 Posts: 760
6/26/18 8:15 A

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Hey Michelle from Vincent Alabama. Thanks for letting me be apart of the group. I'm glad I found some people who understand.

Edited by: SHELLEYMCELROY6 at: 6/26/2018 (08:20)
DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 15,121
6/26/18 6:54 A

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Hi RPAYNE25252 emoticon and emoticon to the Living with Bipolar Disorder Team !! We are really happy that you have decided to join us !! I am from Oregon and am very glad to meet you. Let us get to know you by posting and keeping in touch with the group. We are easygoing and share our concerns and our successes. This is a very compassionate group. Welcome, again !! Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Deb
PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast
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Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team
ML/WL co leader of the Rowdy Rebels Summer Challenge 2018
Co leader of the Living with Bipolar Disorder


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RPAYNE25252's Photo RPAYNE25252 Posts: 30
6/26/18 6:46 A

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Hello everyone! Brand new to the team. Thanks for letting me be a part of your lives :) I live in Indiana.

“The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.” Even if you lose 1/2 a pound a week, in a year that's 26 pounds gone. Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out. No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everybody on the couch.


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6/26/18 6:14 A

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Hi Karri,

How exciting about the dog!! You should have so much fun training and bonding with your new puppy. The bells sound like a great idea. You'll be able to hear them so well. Three weeks is not a lot of time. It will go by fast and you'll have your dog to love. As for eating emotionally and getting back in the groove of proper nutrition you can do it !! It is a great idea going for walks where you will take the puppy, to get used to the terrain and the atmosphere before you get the dog. Do you know what breed of dog they are giving you? I am excited for you !!

Rissa,

That fence looks great !! You guys are really doing a terrific job. It looks as if it is hard terrain to cover with all the hills. It is great exercise running up and down the fence line, staining and erecting all those boards !! It definitely keeps your mind and your hands busy. How much acreage are you fencing? It looks like a lot. Just think how proud you will be when all is done. You will be enjoying this fence for years to come.

I am not sure what we are going to do today !! We went to the Zoo over the weekend when it was hot and clear. Now the weather has clouded up again and it is only going to be partly sunny today. They have finally gotten the new deck up in our area of the apartments that I live in. This project has taken them over four weeks to get finished and I am so glad that it is almost over. I won't know what to do with the silence, after weeks of listening to construction noises - saws, drills and hammers. The upper deck, is not that big, but this has been a big project for the builders. I think they are a new company and they are breaking in with the building of this deck. I am looking forward to the peace and quiet again. Just two more days of lumber, nails and screws !! It will be so nice when they get finished - a real improvement. The construction, the noise and the inconvenience will be over soon. It was a real challenge getting into my apartment last night with all the boards stripped for two feet in front of my door. They had to lay temporary ones down so that we could get in and out okay before they screw down the real floor today. Then, they only have the other side to do and they will be finished. Our inconvenience will end today though. It has been rough getting in and out with all the construction. The parking lot is littered with boards, vehicles and equipment. We have had to park out on the street during the day, because they have usurped our parking lot with all of their stuff. The new deck is beautiful, though. Well worth the commotion. It kicks off my migraines when the noise is so intense. It will be over soon. We will have to be careful and sweep the parking lot well to get rid of any nails or screws that could damage tires.

I hope that you all have a great Tuesday !! Sending positive energy and emoticon to all that need them. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon



Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Deb
PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast
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Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team
ML/WL co leader of the Rowdy Rebels Summer Challenge 2018
Co leader of the Living with Bipolar Disorder


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6/26/18 12:07 A

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So.. Here's some pictures of the fence we've been building!

Top of the hill that Richard and I did on our own screwing in everything:


Fence going down the hill that I was holding the boards and screws


Bottom 3 sections I actually screwed in:


~Rissa, AKA Diane

5% Challenge, Cloverleafs Fall, Summer, Winter, Spring 2018 Challenge Leader
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"Learning to Love Yourself is the Greatest Love of All" ~Whitney Houston


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6/25/18 6:39 P

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Karri

Good luck with your service dog! Bells are really good idea. I want to get a dog but Richard doesn't want me to. So for now I just have to deal with Angela my cat. Don't worry about catching up with the the thread... Deb and I were just chatting back and forth.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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"Learning to Love Yourself is the Greatest Love of All" ~Whitney Houston


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6/25/18 6:49 A

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I've got a lot of reading to do to catch up! For now I'll just chime in on how I'm doing. I ate some things I should not have, I've been getting depressed and emotional eating. I'm starting today with none of that. If I get emotional I'll use one of my coping skills, but I will not eat off plan!

I get my service dog in training in just under three weeks, we start training right away. I think for going potty I'm going to use the bell method, hang a thing of bells on the door that she can ring when she wants to go outside. I'm already starting going to the park to walk almost every day. I love my treadmill, but that doesn't get the puppy any exercise. So much to do!

~ Karri
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. ~Psalms 59-16


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6/24/18 3:37 P

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Deb, thanks! It is a lot of hard work, but I'm not doing a lot of the hard work. Except for maybe today, with the staining. But my knee hurts, so I may not have to. I'm happy my knee hurts! This is the second time we've done the fence. The first time I was about 6 years old? Not older than 7. It does look good... I have to talk to Richard when he gets up about my knee and the staining... I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm icing it, so hopefully I feel better by the time it's time to stain. I drink liters of Powerade Zero while I do it, so I stay hydrated!

I hope you barbecue! I didn't know the 4th was a Wednesday... I have CoDA. I'm going to be doing Literature, so I can't miss it. I also have workbook study group afterwards, too. I may see about having people over after CoDA if it's light enough, or before... I'm not sure. Parking at my house is really difficult, and people are going to be having parties already. I hope you get your A/C in!! It's been a really mild summer so far! The hottest it's gotten has been only in the low 90's. Not even into the 100's like normal for this time of year. I'm beyond happy about it!

I'm doing okay today, as you can see by all my ramblings above to Deb and the universe. I just need to get out of bed, shower, dressed and water before CoDA so I can stain the wood and watch Westworld with the family tonight!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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Rissa,

Kudos to you all for getting in there and creating something permanent and strong!! That is a lot of work. Anyone who's had a home and done any sort of remodeling or major repairs knows how hard it is to do that sort of work. I've had fences built, but fence companies have done the labor. I can imagine how hard you are working if you are staining and assembling. It always feels so much better when you've done the creating yourself. I happen to think that the craftsmanship and looks are always better when you've done the work yourself.

My plans for the Fourth of July are up in the air. I am surprised that Sam, my son, hasn't said anything about a barbecue. He usually invites us over to grill. However, he recently switched jobs and they may be struggling financially for a little bit, until they get back on their feet. His company closed and it took some time to find a new job, but he did. Jeni, my daughter, and I have almost decided to go get this portable grill, that is really cool, at Costco and do our own barbecue. We would be out there with some of our neighbors. I just hope that the weather cooperates. I don't want to be grilling in the humidity and a thunderstorm. Spark has some really good Fourth recipes for main courses and sides. I might like to go with something like shish kabob. It has it all, meat and veggies.

Jeni was supposed to have my son and/or one of our neighbors, Dave, come over and install our air conditioner, in the living room window, last weekend and they never did. It was thundering, lightening and pouring down rain then, though. Jen and I may just do it ourselves today, if we can find some material to cover the upper part of the window. We can go to Lowe's and there is another place that we can get plexiglass to cut to fit. It is going to be 89 here today, which is nothing for you, I know. It is becoming normal for us the past couple of summers. When I first moved into the area, we hardly ever needed air conditioners, now our weather in the summer has become so hot that it is absolutely necessary to have one. But, in LA you get some really hot weather in the Valley. The 100's are normal for you.

Well, everyone have a great and blessed Sunday. I hope that everyone stay safe, hydrated and cool. Rissa, that has to be hot working on that fence so drink plenty of water. Sending positive energy and emoticon to all. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

Edited by: DEBTEVELDAHL at: 6/24/2018 (06:00)
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6/24/18 1:32 A

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Thanks, Deb! I hope I get it! I love coffee, so I'm really hoping I get the job! It seems like you have your system down, which is good! I've got mine down, too, for the most part. It's just I have a problem on my Tuesdays, which are my CoDA days, but we will see how having a car changes that! We are fencing a hill, Richard wants it done by the end of the month! We have to go over my brother's place tomorrow for 2 more hours of wood staining. We are doing it all on our own- from picking and staining the wood to building it. It's a lot of work, but I'm hoping I get to stay in this house for a very, very long time. I want this to be my forever home, so I don't mind putting work into it.

As far as I know, I'm not doing anything special for the 4th. I keep forgetting about it!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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6/23/18 7:22 A

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Rissa, You looked FABULOUS for your interview. It is so heartening that it went so well for you. Yes, I do two jobs on my 5% Challenge Team. Awhile back, about three or four challenges or so, we lost our WL in mid stream, so my CL asked me if I could help out with the WL figures. I did and found that it wasn't hard, so I just have continued the tradition. I find it very satisfying doing both jobs and it keeps me busy. It is just what I need to fill these summer hours with something positive and productive. I have been doing both jobs for about 4 or so challenges and have my system down, now. The EL's help with team motivation too, so that helps keep it doable. I am high energy and I need to keep my mind occupied. Now that I am retired, this is a great way to do it. Putting up fences is hard work, depending on how much area you are fencing it might take you awhile to finish. It is good to be outdoors and busy, though. Have a great weekend and Good Luck emoticon with the Challenge !! I will be rooting for you too. Sending positive energy and emoticon to all. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

P. S. The Fourth of July emoticon emoticon is coming up - anyone doing anything special ?

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
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6/22/18 11:44 P

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Deb, you do 2 jobs? Wow! That's a lot! I just do the CL... but I guess I do EL/ML too. It's fun, though. I don't do Spotlights, our EL does that. I'm just working on setting up the Clusters, an accountability group. We do it by hobbies, so it's a bit of a thing to get set up, but once it's going, it's easy. I'm going to make this short... I'm tired and hungry. I spent a while today working on the fence, but it's looking good! My brother used his drill to screw the holes, Richard held the boards and I just handed over the screws. It was easy work for the most part, but I was doing some of the screwing at first with an older drill.

This is what I looked like for my interview today:



~Rissa, AKA Diane

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Karri, I hope that your new med works and that your anxiety will be better handled once the meds kick in. How's the exercise going?

Rissa, It is so great that you had a good interview. I will keep you in my prayers !! Yes, the 5% Challenge is right around the corner. I am so excited. I am ML/WL for the Rowdy Rebels. I just have the Weight Spread sheet to do, the daily pep talks and our focus on our members, the Spotlight of the Day. I work with the EL's on motivating the team members and that is about it. I love it though and it is a lot to get done sometimes. I like to stay busy too. Good luck and have fun. I know that I will.

Have a nice evening ladies !! Sending you positive energy and emoticon !! Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

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6/22/18 6:45 P

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Karri, do you take something for your anxiety? I take Neurontin, which isn't habit forming or anything like that. It's also a mood stabilizer, so talk to your psych when you can. I know it can be hard to get out of the house with bad anxiety. ((hugs))

Deb, the Summer 5% is upon us! It's starting soon! What do you do? I'm the CL, so I do all the spreadsheets. My team is set up and Practice Week starts tomorrow! I also run the Four Leaf Forum, the Clover Clusters, and the Questions Answered thread. It's a lot of work, but I like keeping busy!

I had my interview with Starbucks today! She said I would hear from her, so I think that means I got it! I'm really hoping so! I mean, I don't believe in a traditional "god", but I am in CoDA and I have a Higher Power (I call it god sometimes, Love most of the time, HP for short) and I know it's totally up to HP. I would lose my food stamps, and might even have to change health insurances, so I don't know how working would affect me. So it's totally up to HP. If I get the job, I get the job and it's HP's will. If not, I will keep looking until HP tells me to stop. I just really want this job, though!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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6/21/18 9:56 P

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Hi Ladies !!

Rissa, CoDA is a great program and really helps with codependent behaviors. I think that it is great that you are so involved. It's nice that you have a stellar sponsor, because that is important. Kudos !!


Karri, are you getting a service dog ? Did I read that in one of your former posts ? How exciting it is to be getting a wonderful dog - service or not. I'm sure that exercising your dog will help with your anxiety. I love animals and have a therapy cat, because we can't have a large dog in our apartments. I like Labs. Exercise of any form will help with that anxiety and good luck with your new meds. I hope that they are effective for you and help to reduce that anxiety.

I'm just getting ready for the Summer 5% Challenge and not much else. I am taking Micah, my grandson to the Zoo on Saturday. We've had some really sketchy weather around here lately. You never know when a thundershower will develop during the day lately. It is bizarre weather for us this time of year. I don't want to get caught outside in a thunderstorm at the Zoo. That's why we are waiting for Saturday, because the weather is supposed to straighten out. Tonight I am going to watch the new season of THE RANCH on Netflix. I haven't seen it yet and it has been out for several days. I haven't watched Netflix in ages, so binging on it tomorrow will be fun. I hope that you all have a pleasant Friday and a great weekend. Sending positive energy and emoticon to all that need them. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

Edited by: DEBTEVELDAHL at: 6/21/2018 (21:57)
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6/21/18 8:06 P

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Rissa, congrats on getting the second interview! That is awesome.

My anxiety level has been really high, making life in general hard to deal with. I want to go and do things, but my anxiety is overwhelming me right now. Saw my therapist and p-doc. New med to be started and I need to get more exercise in. Exercise can sometimes help lower my anxiety.

My dog has been officially picked out, I'll get a picture tomorrow probably. I talked a lot with the breeder about fundraising because my gofundme account stalled out. I'm glad for the money we have raised and it is allowing me to go ahead and get the the dog and the things she needs, but then comes the cost of training. I'll be training her myself with the help of the trainer, which costs a lot less and I can taylor what she learns to my specific needs.

~ Karri
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. ~Psalms 59-16


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6/21/18 6:41 P

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Deb-

Yeah I'm in CoDA. I have a wonderful sponsor too. I'm on Step 10 on my own and I'm leading a workbook group on Step 4 right now. It's been a huge change in my life. If it wasn't for CoDA I'd probably be back in Miami with my abusive ex. I've learned a lot and I'm a lot happier. I have what I call "high quality problems" now lol. I'm not worried about getting hit or things like that. I worry about little things. It's been a life changer. Thanks for the recommendation! I don't think enough people know about CoDA!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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6/21/18 5:47 P

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Larrisa,

Good luck on the interview !! I hope that it goes well for you. They wouldn't have invited you back if they weren't seriously considering you. So, try not to be nervous, because they called you back. I'm sorry after all your training that you won't be participating, but you have to do what is best for you. You can pick up training for something else better suited for you later. The heat in LA is brutal. I remember it, when I lived in California. Do you go to CODA meetings? If you get a good sponsor and a good meeting they can be wonderfully freeing. Sending you positive energy and emoticon !! Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
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Deb:

Yeah, I'm training with a team. I'm going to drop out any day, but I don't know when. It's not a "I'm depressed and don't want to do it anymore", it's a logical, thought out and talked about with both my psych, therapist and family members kinda thing. I can't raise the money, and to train for a marathon in the summer heat in LA is kinda crazy. I told my psych yesterday and he told me no. Flat out told me to train for another one with my kind of depression. So I'm not going to do it. I'm getting of the Abilfiy, so I don't know if I can even make it this weekend to the run. I might tell them then. But with my codependency I don't want to let anyone down, so I'm going to have to woman up and just tell them sometime. *sigh*

Second interview is tomorrow! Wish me luck!!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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6/19/18 6:58 A

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Hi all,

Larissa, it sounds as if you are going through a rough patch right now. I know when I have plans to do something like your run and something interferes with the plan, that is frustrating for me. It is beyond frustrating sometimes. Do you run with an official outside group? You said that " I think "we" are doing 10 miles this weekend." Are you training with a team? Your goal of running a 10K is so great. I wish that I could do just a 5K, but I am just not a runner. I am a walker, since my fall last June( when crossing the street to catch a bus), was when my running career ended. I knocked myself silly and gave myself a concussion, so I don't run anywhere anymore. Start your positive self talk now, just in case you do come across some time to get in that 9 mile run. That way you will be mentally prepared if you should come across the time. It is so hard to keep a good mindset. The good news is all that hauling, loading and unloading is great exercise, but I'll bet you were in pain when you were finished. I'm so sorry that it lead to depression and a lack of belief in yourself. Good luck with the interview. If you get a second interview it is a great sign that Starbucks is serious about you. Working for Starbucks can be fun. My son was a Starbucks barista when he was in college and enjoyed it. I hope that you get the job. I also hope that you get the chance to do your 9 miles. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

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6/18/18 11:20 P

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I actually got the second interview at Starbucks! I got the email earlier today! I thought it was last Friday, but it's actually this coming Friday! But I'm still down. I wanted to go for a 9 mile walk today, but I couldn't. I actually believed in myself and thought I could do it at about 2 pm, but then Richard wanted to go patio furniture shopping. Then, we actually bought the stuff (which is really pretty, by the way), so then we had to go home, unload some of the wood from the truck and break it into pieces, then go back to Home Depot and get the stuff, then go back home and unload it. By the time we were done, it was 3 hours later and I was in a lot of pain. And it was too late to go for the 9 mile walk. So I just lay in bed, depressed for a while. Now I got up, I made some more cauliflower chorizo dip and ate it (it came out yummy) and now I'm watching TV and feeling a bit better. Still, I was upset that I actually believed that I could do 9 miles and then Richard wanted to do something else. By the time we were done, I didn't think I could do it anymore. So it was a big blow to me. I don't know if I will have time to do the 9 mile run this week. I have a bunch of stuff to do! I think the only time I have might be Thursday morning. But I'm not even sure of that. I just hope that I have time to do it... I think we are doing 10 miles this weekend! *sigh* there's just so much that's overwhelming me right now... But I'm going to be okay.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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6/18/18 6:56 A

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Hi everyone,

Larissa, Wow, you've had a time of it !! Jobs are hard to find, but keep looking !! You'll find what is right for you at the right time. For some reason I find it hard to remember huge chunks of dreams. It's been that way for the past 10 years or so. I think that my meds make me sleep so hard that I don't remember what has been rattling around in this head. I'm glad to hear that your Topamax works for you and Audrey. I am so sorry that Father's Day is a rough day for you. You were awfully young when you lost your Dad and I am so very sorry for your loss. Father's Day is a hard one for me too, but I only lost my Dad three years ago.

Audrey, glad to hear that the Topamax has given you relief. I tried it for about six months and it had little to no affect for me. My Cannabis works just great and relieves many of my anxiety and bipolar symptoms. Since it is legal in my state, I use it. We are legal for recreational and medicinal. Nothing that I've taken has really helped with my sleep except the Cannabis too. I was on Trazodone for years and I thought that it was what kept me asleep, but it isn't. About a month ago, I picked up my Trazodone and promptly lost the prescription. When I needed the new bottle it was just gone. I don't know if I tossed it accidentally with the bag and garbage from the store, or if I lost it on the bus. At any rate, I had to do without it for a month and I found it made no difference in the way that I sleep, so I asked my Prescriber to take me off of it too. Now the only meds I take are Wellbutrin and Abilify for my bipolarness. I take nothing at night anymore. I am so happy for you that the Topamax works for you ! It is sooooo nice when you don't have to deal with migraines often.

Hi Karri !!

Nothing going on with me. I have Micah full time now that school is out for the summer, so I stay busy with him. He is an energetic 7 year old, so he can keep me hopping. My daughter is single, so we have no one in our household to celebrate Father's Day for, unless we go to my son's house for a barbecue or something, which we did not do this year. I just texted Sam a happy Father's Day and that was the end of it this year. I am feeling good and not under any stress. Things are going well in my life and I am happy, so that is all that I can hope for. I have my health, my family and peace of mind. I feel so blessed and grateful. Sending out positive energy and hugs to all that need them. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
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6/18/18 12:53 A

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Karri, great job on the weight loss! And I'm happy that you are getting a service dog! I have an ESA, but she's a cat. Dogs can be easy to care for too, with the proper teacher! I hope that you can come online more, too!

I'm doing better now. I had a rough morning... I lost my dad when I was 13, so Father's day is always rough for me. I have Richard, but it's not the same. He's great and amazing, but I can't talk about him the way I talk about my dad. It's complex. I cried today, but it was a good cry. I need to cry more, so I think that crying is healing. I had a good talk after CoDA, and I needed it. I then came home and planted some roses, and that made me feel better, too. I still need to eat more, but I think that I will be okay. I will get up and eat something in a few.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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6/17/18 9:55 P

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Rissa, hope you are doing better, sounds like a difficult dream to have.

I finally am over my plateau, I lost a pound and a half.

I get my pup in 4 weeks! I'm so nervous about training my future service dog, but I have the trainer to help me, so I think, with her help, I can do it.

My internet connection has been dodgy of late, so I have not been on as much, hopefully it will get fixed soon

~ Karri
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. ~Psalms 59-16


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6/17/18 1:13 A

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Audrey, I'm glad that the headaches are not as bad. I know mine got better with the Topamax. I had to get mine lowered, since I was on 50 in the morning and 100 at night and that was too much for me. Now I take only 75 at night. I want to see that meme, lol!

I'm having a rough day. (copied and pasted from my journal) I had a dream last night that Mom came to talk to me. I dissociated in the dream, as well. I knew that time had passed while I was in the dream, and when I checked my Fitbit, it said I was awake for some of the time when I dreaming and I didn't remember being awake. I don't know what was going on at that time. I don't know if I will ever know what happened at the time when I dissociated in my dream, and possibly in real life. My dream.. I was driving to the centenary where my dad was buried (he was cremated and put in the ocean... he's not in the ground at all) and I met my mom, brother and sister there. I dissociated while trying to park.. it was light, then it was dark in my dream. I then was together with my whole family for the first time in decades (including my father), and it was weird. Then, we went upstairs somewhere, and Marsha (with blue hair, who was really me), told my mom "I'm sorry, she has to go. You know how she gets after she is with you for a long time". I felt really bad, then I think I woke up. I had to talk to my mom for a bit after I woke up to let her know that I loved her, and that was the old me, not the new me. That was me in my early 20's, not anytime lately. I did have issues with being around her, but that was because of my own mental health and her mental health.

So then I spent the morning in bed, instead of going to my High School reunion. It wasn't a real year, just a gathering of a bunch of years. I got a notice from Google saying that someone was trying to log into my email account, and it wasn't me. I just said no, and thought nothing of it. Then, I got a notice saying my Sun Pass was lost/stolen. Then, I get a text from Helmez saying that he wanted my Sun Pass password. I then get an email saying that they wanted to reset my password. I didn't respond to the text or emails, I just let them be. I was talking to Caryn and she was saying that the dream was also my mom's way of telling me to be strong in the wake of the texts and stuff. It's just been a hard day.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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Well...so far no help with sleep, but whether it's the Topamax or not, I noticed that a lot of my muscle cramps that I've had lately are gone. And I've only had some mild headaches. Nothing debilitating like I'd been having. I do see my neurologist next week too so I can let him know my progress. Decide if I stay at the dosage I'm on or raise it.

Our tornado made national news! And we have a meme! lol. 6 people with mild injuries, no hospitalizations, no casualties. And the meme... there was a flower tent in the parking lot of one of the businesses that got leveled. It's still standing and only 3 flower pots got blown over in the 130 mph winds. You had one job tent people, and you NAILED IT! Oh, there's also a scavenger hunt going on... while the tent was untouched, their port-a-potty is MIA. Some debris is being found as much as 10 miles away, so it's anyone's guess where that potty went!

Hang in there, Diane. Job hunts are rough, but I have confidence you'll find one.

Audrey
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6/15/18 10:07 P

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((hugs Audrey)) Glad to know you are safe from the tornado! It sucks that some places you like to go were damaged, though! That's scary! I'm on Topamax for migraines and as a mood stabilizer as well, and I like it. It really helps with sleep, too.

I'm doing.... Well, I'm doing. I didn't get the job at either IKEA or Starbucks. I don't know. I applied to another place today, so we will see if I get a call back from them. My random-year high school reunion is tomorrow (not a 10 or anything, just a gathering of people from high school), and I'm still not sure if I'm going. It's going to be $20 to get in, and I don't know if I have the money. I want to go, but also not a lot of people from my class are going (it's open to all years). I've been feeling okay... just a bit depressed, but it's been hot. I figured out that the heat makes me feel suffocated, so I get depressed. I don't know if any of you feel the same way. It was 91 yesterday, and just going to get worse!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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6/14/18 4:32 P

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So... saw my GP today. He started me on Topomax for my migraines. Let's see how this goes.

So, our area got hit by a tornado last night. Hubby was mad because he wanted to go eat at one of the restaurants that got damaged today. It kinda spoiled his plans. I'm sad about the (hopefully temporary) loss of Barnes & Noble.

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6/12/18 12:43 A

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Deb, thanks! I lost 5.25% in the 8 weeks :D I hope that you can talk to Micah's grandmother to see about going to therapy alone for a bit... the first couple are always hard!

Deborah, you have talent! I'm glad that we aren't the only ones who see it! You really should enter in some of your new stuff into a contest, too! Here's good luck to you!

I had my interview with Starbucks today... Luckily I prepared a bit, so I knew some of the questions they were going to ask and how to respond. I don't know if I'm going to get called back to the group interview, but I hope so! I need a job... I went manic a while ago, and spent all my money. I'm trying to get out of debt. It's not that bad, but I don't want to have to pay interest on my credit card. It's been 0% interest, but it ends next month. I just don't know where my money goes. Gas is expensive, and I've been driving a lot (over 200 miles this weekend)! I'm exhausted. But I got my transmission filter and fluid replaced, and learned how to change (and did) my own oil.

It's been a long weekend, and it's going to be a long week. I have to do 8 miles sometime this week again, and I don't know when I'm going to have the time. I'm really thinking about dropping from the Savannah training... I can't raise the money (nobody's donated yet, really, and I have to raise more money that I know what to do with), and I'm going to have to do it faster than I can really run. If anything, I can still do the LA marathon, which is cheaper (I would only have to pay about $150 instead of having to raise $3,400), and I can run it at my own pace. I was talking to my therapist today, and that's what we are thinking. I'm just going to train with them as long as I can, but just see what I can do. Okay, I'm going to go. I have to eat something... I'm hungry and I haven't eaten anything in about 4-5 hours.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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6/10/18 2:33 P

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As a matter of fact I did enter one of my pictures about 10 years ago in a contest and won honorable mention. It was a Thanksgiving picture of my granddaughter sitting amongst pumpkins in our house. I had set up a little "studio" to take pictures of my grandkids for the holidays. I was thrilled, cause it got put in a photography collections book for that year. I have not even thought about entering any since I got my new camera. I'll have to look into that again.
I've been trying my hand at taking pictures of my flowers at night...I need to download them and see how they turned out.

Hope everyone had an awesome weekend and are ready to make the week their best ever!!
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6/10/18 10:07 A

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Good Morning everyone,

"Rissa, I just wanted to stop by and say congratulations emoticon to you on making your 5% weight loss goal in the Spring 5% Challenge !! I saw your name on the list and immediately wanted to commend emoticon you on a job well done. See you in the Summer Challenge !! Good luck !! Deb emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
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6/5/18 7:03 A

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Good morning everyone !!

Karri, just keep on doing what you're doing, because you are doing something right. Congratulations on the weight loss. Kudos to you for a great check up !! I hope that you're feeling so much better soon. You have worthy goals !!

'Rissa, Kudos to you too !! You are doing a terrific job finding jobs. Congratulations on your two interviews coming up. My son worked at Starbucks, when we all get together we still let him make the espressos, because he does them so well. I love his coffee. That can be a very fun job. He worked in an air port, though and it was exciting every day. I love Ikea !! I could spend days in there sometimes. My daughter and I will begin our shopping with Ikea, then eat there and continue on with our shopping from there. I love all their stuff. Good luck with both of your interviews !! Finding a job these days is hard to do. You will succeed though. You are strong, young, pretty and smart. With all that going on, you've got this !! It is terrific that you are being proactive.

Deborah, I love your pictures. You have a great talent there and it is something that you love to do. Do you ever enter your pictures into contests ? You really should submit something sometime if you don't already. I'm glad that you are connected to your son via computer. It makes him being far away that much easier and you have someone you can go to to talk things over with, who is not related to your husband. I wish you great success this next month when your step daughter moves in.

I'm not doing much of anything. I'm just getting ready for Micah to get out of school this week. Friday, June 8th, is the last day of school. It is also my last therapy session that I will be able to go alone to all summer long. I am just starting out with a new therapist, so I would prefer not to have to drag Micah with me for these first couple of interviews, until I can go over the weepy stuff that I must work on. I really don't like for him to see me cry or get upset. It makes it hard to have a decent session if I must take him with me. Most of the time it is okay, just sometimes I prefer to be alone. Maybe I can talk Indyca, Micah's God mother, into taking him for a couple of hours on an appointment day. I have just gotten finished with my cardiac ultrasound for my cardiologist. I have to call the office today, because they called and left a message for me to call them back. I wasn't home to get back to them yesterday, but I suspect that I know what he wants to tell me. They have cut my lasics from two full pills a day down to half a small pill a day, plus a potassium pill. I picked up my meds last night from Fred Meyer (Kroger) and they told me of the change. I will still call the doctor's office back, because I am not sure that is all they want to tell me. I don't think that there is anything wrong, just that he wants to touch base with me before he goes on vacation. Dr. Hirsch is very thorough. I can't get in to see him before August and he probably just wants to tell me that I am okay, again.

I hope that all of you are having a great week. Our weather is beginning to get hotter and we've had some eighty plus degree days. Today is supposed to be mainly sunny and 72 degrees and it doesn't get better than that. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
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6/4/18 11:34 P

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Karri, great job on the weight loss! I'm glad your surgery helped with the mania, too!

Deborah, I always love your pictures! I can't take sunset pictures from my house, since the hill blocks it. I'm not waking up at 5 am to take sunrise photos! I'm glad you are getting your meds upped before she comes! Hopefully that helps! ((hugs)) Jinx is a cutie, as well!

Deb, how are you doing?

I'm feeling a lot better. I got a phone interview tomorrow with IKEA at 11:15 AM, then an in-person interview with Starbucks next Monday at 1 (after therapy). I'm excited! I just have a lot of research to do before my interview tomorrow! I'm going to be doing it tonight while I have the TV on in the background.. I don't care about what's on, but it's Monday night so I have the TV on wrestling (I know, I know lol). I walked over 8 miles today, and I feel better. I also had therapy, and that helped too. He and I talked about ways to combat my depression, and I'm thinking about joining a gym to work out more. Summer is coming, and the heat gets me depressed, so I'm trying to be proactive to combat my depression!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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6/4/18 4:13 P

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@DEBTEVELDAHL Thanks! Yes, I love my pictures and feel good when I get that good shot. I've been told by other members that they like my pictures as well...this helps keep me smiling. The camera kit and additional lenses has been the best gift from my hubs.

I love shooting winter sunsets. It seems like that is the only time of the year I get vividly colored skies.

And, I love taking pics of my crazy boy, Jynx. Here he is playing in the packaging from my new tripod.
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Deborah--Texas Hill Country--Kerrville
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6/4/18 6:00 A

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Hi again Deborah,

I love your pictures. I can't wait to see what you do this summer. You are very talented and you should be proud of the results of your hobby. It will help keep you busy when your relatives arrive and it is something that is just for you. You must get a real sense of accomplishment from your photography. You do it so well. I am glad that you are finding solutions and pre arranging for everything prior to their arrival. Forewarned is forearmed. Have a wonderful week ahead of your !! Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
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6/4/18 1:13 A

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I have settled down now from my fretting over daughter coming to live with us. I have bought a few new coloring books and new colored pencils, new DVDs to watch, and have made a plan to get out and about with my camera to keep me sane. I am anxiously waiting for my Dr. appt. two weeks before she comes, getting my meds upped will help keep me calm (I hope). I had not been out and about with my camera these past few weeks, but, I got out yesterday and found my cactus in full bloom! I had been waiting for this event to happen and I almost missed it!!

It felt good getting out again. We are planning a trip to another town tomorrow and I will have camera in tow! It is an old German town, hopefully I can find lots to shoot.
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Deborah--Texas Hill Country--Kerrville
Baby steps will get me to my goal(s).
One day at a time, heck, one meal at a time...this will be my road to success.


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6/3/18 8:01 P

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Hi all!

I had my follow up with my surgeon on Friday and he says I'm doing great! Yay! I've also met my goal to be under 240, next goal is to be under 230.

I was manic right before the surgery, but having the surgery seemed to squash it flat, thank goodness.



~ Karri
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. ~Psalms 59-16


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Deb, I'm doing the Summer 5% Challenge as the CL for the Cloverleafs. I'm also applying for jobs as a lab tech. I just filled out this long application for a job.. It was hard, but good practice I guess. Lots of math and English stuff. I got the tip from a teacher yesterday... I was in my friend's class getting my arm poked because she's studying to be a phlebotomist. I got poked 6 times!! I'm a good friend! Just a couple of bruises.

Heather. good to see you on! It's good that you haven't been manic, and I know all about the bank account slowly going down (instead of quickly). I'm also suffering from the depression. I know I'm in a mixed phase as well. I see my psych on Tuesday. I'm glad to know the surgery worked!!!! I don't know what to tell you about the weight... I just know what works for me. I hope you get that job as a caregiver!

I'm doing okay. Like I said, I'm recovering from being a pincushion and waking up early, but I'm good. I got lots of sleep last night (my Fitbit said 9 hours, but for once I know I got more than that), and I got more REM than it said. The night before last it said I only got like 12 minutes of REM the whole night!! Last night I got like 2 hours, so that's a lot better.

I'm just trying to find time to do my run! I'm supposed to do 7 miles this weekend to prepare for my marathon and raise money for Crohn's and Colitis research. If anyone wants to donate, I would appreciate it! online.ccfa.org/goto/dianey It's a great cause, and I'm just trying to raise awareness, since it's a "gross" disease and like mental illness, people don't like talking about it! I did 3 miles yesterday... I should have done the whole 7 but I just didn't bring what I needed with me. Anyways, enough of the shameless self-promotion.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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6/3/18 11:39 A

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Been a long time since I have been on. Had my hysterectomy and am mostly healed up. Brains have been vocally upset with the hormone fluctuations (which should be steady now), and have been giving me troubles. I have been flipping between pure depression and mixed mania and it is driving me up the wall. Watching my bank account not-so-slowly decreasing was a pretty good indicator of mania so I went in to see my doc and she said to up my lithium for a week to knock down the mania side of things. I am at the end of that week and may need to draw it out for another week to see if I am a little more stable. The depression is annoying, but not dangerous at this point. Been spending lots of time asleep when I am not antsy and anxious.

BUT

I have not had a major manic swing since the surgery. Also known as: it worked!

I think a lot of the depression is a vicious cycle of me realizing that I have gained 15 pounds over the last two months then withdrawing into food and sleep, which only makes it worse. I still have no job, but I have a plan. I have to help take care of my dad after his knee replacement in July, go on a vacation with mom, then get back home and apply for a constantly-open job here in town. The local home health care business is looking for caregivers to go in and cook and clean and visit with clients. I have lots of experience with this before my husband died, so I think I can do this well. It doesn't pay much at all, but beats working pizza (I hope).

So there are plans. I have had enough of the weight gain and started charting my food down again, probably not very strictly, but it keeps me from random snacking. Now off to find something to do that does not involve food.
--Heather



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6/2/18 6:39 A

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Hi 'Rissa,

Tutoring sounds as if it might be kind of fun and may be very ludicrous for you. :Lots of people want their kids tutored, especially in the summer time, when school is out and they aren't overwhelming them with school type work. You should get to meet lots of people that way. It also sounds like something you can make your own schedule for, so you can be flexible. I will say some prayers for you. I hope that you get it too. Anyone else going to be in the Summer 5% Challenge ? Have a great Saturday !! Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
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6/1/18 10:44 P

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Speaking of kids, I'm looking to get a job, any job, so I just applied to tutor some kids! *sigh* I could totally use the money ($25 an hour, full time!!) so I'm hoping I get it!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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6/1/18 5:39 A

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Happy June 1st !! Thank you Audrey for setting up the new Chat ! It sounds like you are going to be busy, busy, busy this summer. Three kids are hard to keep up with. I have enough trouble with one grandson over the summer. It sounds like little man is ready to take off. How old is he now? It seems as if he were just born and now he's mobile. Time sure flies. I wish you good luck!! Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

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June 1st! Here we come!

So I have a pre-kindergartener already starting summer vacation, and a first grader with 2 full weeks left and then 6 weeks of Summer camp/school. The little girl is already driving me up the wall.

Audrey
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My 5% goal

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By When: March 3, 2018


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Only eat when hungry.
Drink that water!!!

EL for Winter 2018 5% Challenge Weight Warriors

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