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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,036
2/2/18 4:33 P

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I'm back and feeling better. I had a sh*tty day yesterday, but I'm doing better now. It was a combination of medication issues and stuff... I'm supposed to have 350 calories with my Latuda, but I couldn't finish my coffee because there was some rotten stuff in there. I got sick, and then I was feeling some really weird numbness stuff. I'm pretty much over it now, but I just am trying to recover. Angela is supposed to get her stitches out today, so I'm hoping that goes well.

I've been on the phone all morning with Social Security and my bank... I didn't get my check, and not only that they docked it! So I'm dealing with all this crap. Tomorrow's my birthday, so hopefully I get a check that will help me get through the next week until I get paid! They are cutting my check by over $100, and this month I'm getting about half of what I normally get, so I'm struggling! Arg!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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URBANAUDREYE's Photo URBANAUDREYE Posts: 8,434
1/31/18 9:35 A

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I'm happy you're starting to feel a little better, Diane. Hang in there.

Audrey
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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,036
1/30/18 5:12 P

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I almost checked myself in yesterday. It was that bad. I was waiting for the news of Angela's biopsy, and the vet was stressing me out like crazy. I kept calling, and they said I had to talk to the vet, that the front desk couldn't give me the results of the test. So I kept thinking I was going to lose her, that I had to put her down, or she was going to need chemo that was going to bankrupt me. I just was so close to my breaking point. I called some friends, and distracted myself. I had to hold on for her. I finally got the call from the vet, and she's going to be okay. I just hope that I am. I'm seeing my therapist today for the last time.. I change insurances on the 1st. I can still see her if I need to, but I'm going to try a new one, since I want DBT instead of talk therapy. So I do have a fall-back.

I'm doing okay today so far.. I got out of bed finally, took a shower and all of that. I get some of my Mom's ashes today, and I'm going to light some candles tomorrow for the anniversary of her death. It's cool- everyone is going to be looking at my Mom in Heaven tomorrow, with the whole Moon thing. There was a beautiful sunrise the morning she died (she died before sunrise), and now on the anniversary of her death there's going to be a huge event in the sky. It's just her looking down on me (and the world) and smiling. She was always special!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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URBANAUDREYE's Photo URBANAUDREYE Posts: 8,434
1/30/18 4:17 P

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It is quite possible to be "high" on prescription meds taken as directed. It might not be a good match for you. My husband has been a long time Depakote user. When the generic was initially released for it we balked at the change, but insurance wouldn't cover brand name unless "medically necessary". Being that this was the first time a generic had been available, asking the doctor for "brand necessary" indicator had never been something we had even thought of, but the generic seemed... different. Sure enough, within 3 days he was getting terrible headaches. Highs right after taking them and then crashing. A week later he was hospitalized for a seizure. The coating on the generic and binders were different causing a quicker release. He did go back on "brand" afterwards. Now, after having done lots of research and consultations with both the doctor and a new pharmacist (because we changed pharmacies after the fight for brand Depakote), he is safely on generic extended release valproic acid and doing fine.

Audrey
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Winter 5% Challenge Plan
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SASSYCATMAMA40's Photo SASSYCATMAMA40 Posts: 399
1/30/18 3:57 P

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Hi all.
Hugs to the kitty--I miss mine SOOOOO much.
Glad all surgeries went well. It's hard to not worry, and I think hope is still a good thing.

My Seroquel does round out the hard edges of my emotions, but I sleep way too much, and that's not good for my lack of energy! I'm going to go down to half my dose (the doc started me out on half a dose anyway) and see if that helps. E says I'm "high", but doesn't understand the difference between a drug from the doc that helps and a street drug that just makes you addicted. He says he'd rather me take the meds only during a "bad brain day", but I'd rather PREVENT them than have to endure them until some pill kicks in! He's not in my brain, and trust me, it's not always a good place to be, especially without meds.

Julie

ANGIEN9's Photo ANGIEN9 Posts: 3,773
1/28/18 11:40 P

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Thank u. Hugs to your Angela...but softly!!

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,036
1/28/18 5:55 P

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((hugs Angie)) Feel better soon!!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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ANGIEN9's Photo ANGIEN9 Posts: 3,773
1/28/18 5:46 P

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I have the flu. If I don't feel better tomorrow I am going back to the doctor.

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,036
1/26/18 3:10 P

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I'm glad it went well, Audrey! It sucks to hear that he did that, though!

Angela is doing better. Her wound is healing and not swollen, she is getting used to her cone, and I'm just glad to see that she's okay. She was a little bugger last night. I was out with a friend and late with her wet food, so she ate through her bag of dry food! I saw it this morning... There's all these tooth bites on her bag of dry food (cat teeth), and this hole, and food on the floor. I have to put her food in a plastic container now so she doesn't do it again! She's on a strict diet since she's overweight. She can't be eating all this food. I know she's hungry, but she has to learn to eat when her momma tells her to eat!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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URBANAUDREYE's Photo URBANAUDREYE Posts: 8,434
1/26/18 12:28 P

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My cyst was successfully excised. But I still had an anxious day yesterday. Rob was sick so he told me 20 minutes before we had to leave that he couldn't watch the baby.

Audrey
NEPA - EST

My 5% goal

Current Weight 219
Target Weight 208
By When: March 3, 2018


Winter 5% Challenge Plan
MINIMUM 10 active minutes daily
Full Body strength training 3x a week
Only eat when hungry.
Drink that water!!!


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1/25/18 12:54 A

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Diane,

You KNOW you are a great fur baby Momma! There's nothing you won't do for your Angela.

When our four legged babies are all futzed up, we worry. I can't imagine how worried you are.

All will be well.

oxo

Carol - Houston, TX (it's weird to see this and not Kaua'i, Hawaii)

Ketones make everything better.
Better sleep. Better mornings. Better energy.
Better fat loss. Better strength. Better mood.

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Water them with worry & fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism & solutions, you will cultivate success ~Lao Tzu


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ANGIEN9's Photo ANGIEN9 Posts: 3,773
1/24/18 7:41 P

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prayers for Angela

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,036
1/24/18 4:11 P

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Audrey, I will be thinking of you tomorrow! Good luck!

Angie, I'm glad your new sleeping pill is working for you!

I'm stressing out right now. Not as bad as last night, but still. It's hard having Angela back. The stitches on her arm are hard to look at. She slept on the floor last night instead of the bed and I was actually glad. I didn't want her sleeping on the bed in case I accidentally brushed up against her arm where the stitches are. At least I got a semi-good night's sleep for the first time in nights. She's not in pain yet... the pain shot is still acting for the next day or so. She just looks so sad! I keep giving her love, but it's not enough. I feel like there's not enough I can do for her. I feel like a bad pet mommy. My friend James and I tried to get her in her crate last night (to prevent her from jumping on the bed- the stitches are on her arm and she's not supposed to be jumping) and after 2 tries we gave up. I didn't want her breaking them and having to go back to the vet. She just looks so sad! I want to give her more love, but I'm scared. I don't want to hurt her. I'm scared to move, since if I move, then she's going to try and jump off the bed.

I did hear something really interesting yesterday- that hope is a elegant term for fear. If you say you hope for something, you really are afraid it's not going to come true. So I don't hope that she gets better- I know she's going to get better. But it's going to be scary for me.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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ANGIEN9's Photo ANGIEN9 Posts: 3,773
1/24/18 12:04 P

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Audrey I am thinking of u.

Larissa I am glad Angela is doing well. Hate when babies and pets have to have surgery. Especially since they are unable to communicate.

Got put on a new sleeping pill. Up in time to go to water aerobics at the Y this morning. Might go and volunteer at NAMI afterward.

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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URBANAUDREYE's Photo URBANAUDREYE Posts: 8,434
1/23/18 5:33 P

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Yay for Angela! She gets all the snuggles.

Audrey
NEPA - EST

My 5% goal

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By When: March 3, 2018


Winter 5% Challenge Plan
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Full Body strength training 3x a week
Only eat when hungry.
Drink that water!!!


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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,036
1/23/18 4:27 P

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Audrey, it's going to be okay! Just relax and know it's all going to be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Angela's surgery was successful! I pick her up in a couple of hours. Tumor is gone, and I get the results of the biopsy by the weekend (85% chance it's benign). She had to get a tooth removed, so it's pretty much wet food for a couple of days (which she is going to love), and no treats until tomorrow when her stomach settles. But I'm just happy that she's going to be okay!!!



~Rissa, AKA Diane

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URBANAUDREYE's Photo URBANAUDREYE Posts: 8,434
1/23/18 10:51 A

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My computer keeps crashing. I think it's time for a new one.

Migraines have dissipated, however I've been having gallbladder pain the past 2 days.

Anxious about the procedure to have the cyst removed from my eyebrow on Thursday.

Audrey
NEPA - EST

My 5% goal

Current Weight 219
Target Weight 208
By When: March 3, 2018


Winter 5% Challenge Plan
MINIMUM 10 active minutes daily
Full Body strength training 3x a week
Only eat when hungry.
Drink that water!!!


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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,036
1/20/18 11:49 P

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Thanks, Angie! I'm driving Richard's car for now until I can get my own. It comes in time!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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ANGIEN9's Photo ANGIEN9 Posts: 3,773
1/20/18 11:33 P

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Larissa,

I know it has been a long time since I learned to drive. I remember the butterflies in my stomach when I had to drive in Springfield, Missouri. Happy you have a car and are driving!!!!
Angie

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,036
1/20/18 10:08 P

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Hope you make it to church tomorrow, Angie! Just stay safe!

I'm okay. Just tired. I'm trying to do self-care. I did laundry and cleaned a bit today. I also drove some more! I'm getting better! I want to drive to my doctor's appointment on Monday. It's not far, but it's through some more streets, in the middle of the day. It's more of a challenge, but I think I'm ready for it!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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1/20/18 8:16 P

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I hope seroquel works. It just gave me nightmares.

It is beautiful here today. Calm before the storm. Only January so no way winter is over!! Got out and did a little shopping. Nothing extravagent. Bulb for my lamp, dollar store for a couple bags for presents and grocery store for lactaid milk and bananas.

Going to try really hard to make it to church at 9 am tomorrow.

Have a good night!
Angie

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,036
1/19/18 9:45 P

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Julie, Seroquel will help you sleep... It can knock you out! It didn't help put me to sleep, but it would make me groggy all day. Be careful driving! As for exercise, can you stop somewhere on the way home? I get nauseous in the mornings, too, and I have to take a pill so I don't throw up. I'm not pregnant, either! (and I know you aren't, too).

Audrey, I guess I'll let y'all complain about the cold now, and when it's 113+ again in summer I'll complain.

I'm doing okay. I'm trying to get through each day, one day at a time. I'm watching the government shutdown news right now, and trying to figure it out. Richard said our benefits could be affected, and that's scary! I don't know what I would do if I didn't get my check. Angela has surgery in less than a week and I'm going to have to pay that off. *sigh* I don't want to think about it.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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URBANAUDREYE's Photo URBANAUDREYE Posts: 8,434
1/19/18 12:10 P

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I'll take the heat!

Audrey
NEPA - EST

My 5% goal

Current Weight 219
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Winter 5% Challenge Plan
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Full Body strength training 3x a week
Only eat when hungry.
Drink that water!!!


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SASSYCATMAMA40's Photo SASSYCATMAMA40 Posts: 399
1/19/18 9:36 A

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Rissa, hang in there! Sometimes we need to ramble. And about having guests help out with "chores"--my family has always had everyone help out with clean-up. The first time we met my now brother-in-law, my mom had him do dishes after dinner! Ha. And having a friend help you feel better is NOT co-dependent, it's normal. People affect how we feel--that is just how it is.

I'm still trying to find a time to exercise. I had a couple good days when I did it in the morning before work, but it makes me so nauseous I had to stop. There's nowhere at work. When I get home, I have the urge to get right to cooking, etc because my hubby gets home before I do (I have a 30 minute drive home) and he's waiting for me. Urg.

Trying a new med--Seroquel. I'm on a 1/2 dose, taking it in the evening,and it puts me out! But giving it a week until I up my dose. Everything takes time.

I had a good talk with a colleague of mine. His 31 yo son is having mental health issues. I opened up about mine, and we had a good talk. It felt good to help someone.

Julie

LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,036
1/18/18 4:35 P

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Okay, since y'all are complaining about the weather, can I? I know you guys say it's cold, but it's freaking HOT here!!! It was 84 on Sunday, and 78 yesterday. I am scared of what Summer is going to be like. I'm about to start looking for a new a/c to replace the one I have. It was 114 last summer. No rain this winter, either. We've had 2 days of rain. Food is going to be freaking expensive this year because there's been no rain for the crops here in California. I hate climate change!!

Sorry I've been absent. I've been ignoring a lot of things. I've been driving a couple of times, but I just don't know what I've been doing with my time. I haven't been sleeping much, not watching TV, just going to my meetings and spacing out I guess. I go on my computer a bit, and then just waste time doing nothing. Not even on my computer. I don't know where my time is going. I haven't had the mental clarity to reply to you guys here. I want to- I know you guys are suffering and I want to help. But I just don't know how to right now. I am hanging out with my best friend tonight, and when I hang out with her, I feel happier most of the time. I don't want to say she makes me happy, since that's very codependent and enmeshed. She just has this energetic personality that is contagious. I have stuff I should be doing, but I just sit here in bed. I was up at 8:30 am yesterday and got stuff done, but then I just wasted the day again somehow.

I was hypomanic the other day, too. I ended up doing a 5k without trying. I pushed myself too far after my accident and almost passed out in pain. I was cooking (after watering my huge garden, pulling some weeds, cleaning my room for a while, then walking that 5k and more I can't remember) for my friend and I had to lie down because I was getting dizzy. He understood, helped me cook while I took a pain pill and then got up and finished cooking. He helped with the dishes a bit until I scolded him (he's a guest), I did more dishes, and then finally collapsed into bed that night. I slept for about 10 hours, got up the next day and did nothing on purpose.

I just don't know what to do. I see my psych on the 23rd. It's my last visit with him, since I'm changing insurances. I'm glad, since I don't like him. I'm going to start going to another one. I don't think my mood stabilizer is working as well as it used to. I was up at 2 am today, and was up until I took more Neurontin. I am almost on the max dose, too, so I just need something else I think. I'm rambling. I think I need to go journal some, or go talk to someone. Then again, I don't know if you guys mind me rambling.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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1/18/18 10:54 A

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It is sad when the AM thermometer says "17" and we think it is a warm-up! They called off school for the cold, and some people were complaining. You try walking a couple blocks when you're only a kid and it's negative ANYTHING out!

I am starting a new med--going off buproprion, and trying Seroquel. Doc says we're done trying anti-depressants (NOTHING has worked yet), and I might need a full assessment...hasn't been done since 2006.

I'm going to the Dom. Rep with my daughter....passport is applied for....it will be nice to have a real vacation in, oh, like 10-15 years.

Feeling sedated but hopeful
Julie

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1/18/18 9:47 A

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It was 1 degree when I took my daughter to school this morning. And there was frost on the INSIDE of my windshield. Little man is still cranky and out of sorts from his vaccinations yesterday morning.

Audrey
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Winter 5% Challenge Plan
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Only eat when hungry.
Drink that water!!!


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1/18/18 3:37 A
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16 degree weather here, better than yesterday. Hopefully the ice on the road will melt and I can get to my appointments today and tomorrow.

I'm looking forward to slightly warmer weather! Was sick feeling most of yesterday, so was in bed, no surprise I got up wide awake at 3 AM. Might go work out and shower and go back to bed. Depends on if I can get to my work out clothes without waking DH or not!!



~ Karri
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. ~Psalms 59-16


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1/17/18 1:18 P

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We are having some pleasant warmer weather. Took my Jeep in for a repair on a recall. I had them bring me home as it is suppose to take 4 hours. I would much rather sit at home than in the service department with a bunch of strangers!!

Sunshine is nice today Hope everyone has a good hump day!!

Angie

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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1/15/18 1:11 P

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Lots going on.
Work is frustrating in the winter--not as many concrete things to do, so I feel anxious about "wasting" time, and asking the boss too many times what I can do.
The last couple weeks, I've had bouts of crying/anger/loss of control of emotion. Not sure what to call it, but symptoms seem more towards a Mixed episode than depressed.
Decided to take daughter on trip with me, if I can get my passport in time.
I have too many doctor's appointments I need to get to, and not enough time--I need to work, too!
Breathe. I need to breathe. And exercise. And light therapy. Sigh
Julie

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1/15/18 9:24 A

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Good morning Ladies !!

Angie, it's unfortunate that you had to miss your church service yesterday. Depression often affects me and my ability to perform activities of daily living - showers, getting dressed, eating right, etc. Do you have a therapy light ? They can be helpful with general depression and not just SAD. Your produce plan sounds like it is a great one !! It must be a major benefit to you. I had the Department of Aging and Disability give me about 25.00 in "checks" that can be used at any Farmer's Market during the months of June through October. 25.00 may not seem like a lot, but it really does help. I hope that your outlook improves. It sucks to be dealing with depression and other PTSD symptoms. My daughter has PTSD and she can suffer from debilitating anxiety if she doesn't take her meds correctly. She feels flat and disconnected from life when she takes her Zoloft. I think that I remember reading that you can't use meds for your symptoms. That makes everything that much harder. I'm so sorry that this is affecting you so badly.

'Rissa, don't feel badly about not ever driving. I taught my daughter how to drive when she was 32. She just never felt the need to do so before. She had me to take her everywhere, so she never bothered to learn until then. I have severe night blindness and I can no longer drive at night in the dark. She bought a car and we taught her how to drive and now she goes everywhere on her own. You are amazing if you can learn to drive in that LA traffic. The freeways are a real challenge. I admire you. I'm sorry for your loss. The anniversary of my Dad's death is the 17th of this month. Grief is a hard pill to swallow. I still become upset and emotional, even though it has been three years, since his passing. I hope that you can negotiate your way through the pain successfully this year.

I am doing well right now. I haven't had a major manic attack in several months and my depression is well controlled with Wellbutrin and Abilify. I am in good space !! We celebrated my grandson Hayden's 3rd birthday yesterday. It was a huge party. They brought in pan after pan of salad, lasagna, baked ziti and chicken alfredo for the meal. It was awesome with all the goodies, in addition to the main courses. I was good and stuck to my 5% plan and only ate small amounts of pasta and lots of salad. It was a lot of fun and I got to see many people that I hadn't seen in months. Hayden cleaned up. I can't believe the baby of the family is already three years old. No one is planning on any more children, so I guess that my hope for a granddaughter is not viable. I have three grand sons that I love to death, but having a girl in the family would have been great. Happy Martin Luther King Day!! Sending positive energy and hugs to all that need them ! Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

Edited by: DEBTEVELDAHL at: 1/15/2018 (09:32)
Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
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URBANAUDREYE's Photo URBANAUDREYE Posts: 8,434
1/15/18 9:09 A

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SO I've been dealing with a migraine pretty much constantly since the 1st. I had a 2 day reprieve when it was just a headache and didn't have the auras, vision disturbances, and nausea with it. It has not been fun and I'm clueless as to what to do for it. It certainly hasn't been good for my mood.

I'm doing the winter 5% challenge. Not losing anything, which seems to be my trend, but I have to at least admit that I've been consistently posting. I'll call that progress. I'm an extra leader for the Warriors. I've been trying to wrap my mind around that without much success due to the migraine. Numbers on spreadsheets are not my strong suit right now.

I have finally been seen for the lesion/cyst over my eyebrow. They're cutting it out next week. I'm scared as hell. But hopefully, that will be the end of it and it can stop driving me nuts. It's been there over a year now and I just kept forgetting to bring it up at Dr appointments. When I had my vision checked last month, the optometrist expressed concern over it and sent me an ophthalmology referral for it.

The kids are wreaking havoc as usual. Add that on to the migraine and I'm sure you can imagine what fun I've been having.

On another note, I need to express my love to my kid more often. The way their eyes light up when I tell them I love them and give them a hug and a kiss is fantastic. I really distance myself from them too much when I'm frustrated.

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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,036
1/14/18 11:49 P

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Angie, I hope you make it church next week! I know the whole shower thing, especially in winter! No worries... I'm sure most people here get it. Depression sucks! Is yours physical, too? When I get depressed, I hurt more than I do normally. Just something my therapist told me to log when I do my daily check ins. It's been a couple of years since I've driven, and I've never had my license, so this is a big deal for me.

------------

My mom's anniversary of her death is coming up on the 31st. It's getting hard already. The depression is creeping in, and I had an anxiety attack this morning. It's been so long since I've had one that it was weird! Luckily I was talking to a good friend last night about how to deal with one, or else I think I would have forgotten! It lasted almost an hour, heart racing, anxiety, etc. I was just lying in bed this morning waiting to get up, and I just started thinking about being back in Miami, having to go through all that hell again. I don't know what brought it on, but it sucked. Not a panic attack- no shaking, crying or any of that. Just anxiety. I see my therapist on Tuesday so I'm going to talk to her about the depression and anxiety. It's really bad. I hope I can see her for the next couple of weeks until my health insurance changes over. I can't take any antidepressants since I'm doing Keto and they will make me manic. I just have to go through it and let the emotions pass and not get caught up in the thoughts.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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ANGIEN9's Photo ANGIEN9 Posts: 3,773
1/14/18 5:21 P

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Thank you!! I got out of the apartment yesterday for a short while. Picked up some produce with a friend. IGA has a monthly sale for produce. You can fill a brown paper bag with their list of produce. He and I go together as we just can't eat a whole bag by ourselves. It is $15.00 a bag. Jack can bring Bandit. He is his service dog. A little shusitu (not sure how to spell the breed of dog!!) Anyway, we each like different things and we just each pay $7.50 and it evens out.

I was really hurting this morning, so didn't make it to church. Going to get in the shower after I finish reading my email. I have been really bad about taking a shower. I think it has been over 5 days since I actually took a shower. I did wash my hair a couple times.

I didn't go to Connections at NAMI today. Just don't feel like going anywhere!!

Larissa,
So good that you are driving. How long has it been since you drove?

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,036
1/13/18 11:09 P

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**hugs Angie** I hope you feel better soon!! PTSD sucks! If you need someone to talk to, just send me a Spark Mail, or chat us up here! We are here for you!

I drove today! On the street! With other cars! It was kinda nerve-wracking, but I did it and it was good. I almost ran a red light because I couldn't see it in the sun, but it was yellow when I went through it, thank goodness! I just need to learn the area better and not go at the time I went. I'm getting the hang of being behind the wheel, though! It's going well!

Pain from the other accident is pretty bad today, though. I don't know what to do. I can't take muscle relaxers because they mess with my mood stabilizers. Heat isn't helping, and I don't dare use my back massager yet. The muscles are just not ready for them yet.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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1/13/18 4:48 A

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Doing pretty good. Need to set some goals for my SP teams. I did write some down, but already haven't done them.
Montana is in a deep freeeze.. So much snow!! They actually have to find places to put the snow once they get it off the street.

PTSD is pretty bad now. Mood swings and hopeless. Anyway I am still kickin' 😎

~~Angie ~~
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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,036
1/12/18 8:33 P

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Thanks, Deb!

Karri, talk to your doctor soon! If you aren't sleeping and thinking of exercising in the middle of the night that's probably a bad sign! Please seek help if you haven't already!

Angie, I hope you are well! You don't type much when you are on here, but I hope you are doing well!

I'm doing okay. I don't know if I posted, but I was in a car accident the other day. I'm pretty much okay... I was on my way to my therapist the other day and the driver of the medical transportation got us into an accident! He was trying to make a left, passed the divider illegally and got us sideswiped! I'm pretty much okay. The driver didn't speak English very well (he spoke Armenian, which I don't even know how to say "hello" in anymore... my old best friend was Armenian) and so did the next driver that picked me up to take me home, and my doctor was closed by the time I got home. I just have this weird pain in the middle of my upper back and in the middle of my chest where the seat belt was. It was totally the driver of my car's fault, too. I guess the Universe didn't want me going to my therapist for some reason, or maybe to my meeting after. I'm taking it as a sign that I need to be behind the wheel, since I won't make stupid decisions like he did.

On a better note, I got my Fitbit today!! It's charging, so I'm letting it do that while I type. Then I'm going to go make dinner, eat and maybe practice driving if Richard wants to leave the house!! The pain is moderate right now. I'm going to eat around 6:30 when I can take my next Motrin. I'm not on anything really stronger, though, and I'm going to get X-rays done on Wednesday since that's the soonest I could really work it out with my health insurance to get a ride (Monday is a holiday, and Tuesday I have therapy again).

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 15,314
1/12/18 6:05 A

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Hi everyone,

I thought that I would post a slideshow about the KETO DIET from WebMD. I ran across it this morning in my email. Since everyone is talking about it maybe this will help with an overview of what it is and what health conditions that it can affect. It is not really detailed, but it gives you good information.

/www.webmd.com/diet/ss/slideshow-ket
og
enic-diet?ecd=wnl_wmh_011018&ctrR>=wnl-wmh-011018_nsl-ld-stry_1&mb
=o
gyYGjOQCEe8nN5vx%2fuPEg7W9SlMHoO
njbDC4PexvvE%3d


Deb emoticon

Edited by: DEBTEVELDAHL at: 1/12/2018 (06:06)
Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
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ANGIEN9's Photo ANGIEN9 Posts: 3,773
1/11/18 6:03 P

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Not sure about Keto diet...I have no gallbladder so a lot of diets are not feasible for me.

~~Angie ~~
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1/11/18 5:36 P
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I've been wondering about the Keto diet, I've got a friend that started it last year and has been logging her journey on FB. Some of the recipes sound weird but look great!

Still not sleeping well. I'm wondering if I'm going into a manic phase, I wanted to work out in the middle of the night so bad last night but could not find all the clothes and shoes I needed without waking up hubby.

~ Karri
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. ~Psalms 59-16


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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,036
1/9/18 4:25 P

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Julie, Keto does wonders for me. I'm off antidepressants now, and that's a big help. Just wondering if you have tried it. It's hard, but it's worth it to me. I eat a lot of fat (coconut oil and butter, mostly) and no carbs (sugar, starch, rice, potato, etc). It's supposed to be good for bipolar people. Just a suggestion!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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SASSYCATMAMA40's Photo SASSYCATMAMA40 Posts: 399
1/9/18 9:26 A

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I actually had a serotonin sydrome near-death experience a year and a half ago, and had genetic testing done that shows not many psych meds work, so I'm gun shy towards medication. I had been on a huge cocktail then. I'm on lamotrigine and buproprion now. Trying a "medical food" that helps with vitamin B metabolism, but I frankly think it isn't doing anything. I take Ambien PRN, but wonder if that is affecting me. I wake up groggy and with a headache when I take it--but at least I sleep! Melatonin does nothing for me. I've taken trazadone to sleep, but it takes so long to take effect, and I have to take high doses.
I'm currently using a general doc for my meds, because the wait time to find a psych doc here is crazy long--and they aren't psychiatrists, they are APRNs....the last psychiatrist in the area just retired. Ugh.
I finally was able to take a walk last evening--it was good.

Julie

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1/8/18 3:56 P

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Julie, do you think that's because you got off your Geodon? It's an antipsychotic, so it does help with that... I hope you are better now!! I am worried. Good job on the healthy food! Keep it coming!

I'm happy today. I always feel better when I have my coffee in the morning. I was looking at cars, and I found the perfect one, but it's on sale NOW and I can't get it yet. I can't drive it! I need to have my license first. I'm still sick and it's raining, so I can't practice driving yet. The rain should stop by Wednesday. Then, it's night driving in areas with no cars until I get used to it and move up from there. I need to get comfortable driving Richard's car, then get my license in his car, then get my own. I found a good car dealership that I like... good cars, good prices, so I'm content with that.... I just need to get the darn license lol!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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SASSYCATMAMA40's Photo SASSYCATMAMA40 Posts: 399
1/8/18 2:20 P

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Karri--The days are getting longer, so that might be why you're getting more energy. I hate it when I can't sleep--but I keep busy, and can always find something to do (yes, I have a list for these times).

Rissa--congrats on the driver's license! And the FitBit--we all deserve "treats" every now and then--sometimes even getting through the day is an accomplishment.

I had a psychotic episode Friday night--almost went to the hospital to be EPC'd. I took off walking in zero degree weather, ended up back home, just not a good day. Guess these meds aren't working--which leaves very little left. Very discouraged. But determined. At least I made it to work today--and bought healthy things at the grocery store!

Julie

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1/7/18 10:01 P

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Karri, I read your message at like 7 am... I couldn't sleep either. I just didn't respond until now because I wasn't on my laptop. I feel ya! My sleep is so erratic, so I really wanted that Fitbit. I'm happy I got it! I deserve something nice. I just want something to take my doctors to show that I'm really not sleeping. It's one thing to tell them that I'm getting no sleep, it's another to show them a printout of me getting no sleep lol.

Angie, I'm glad you are feeling better!

I went to my CoDA meeting today wearing a hospital mask lol. I didn't want to get anyone else sick. I met with a potential sponsee and she seems cool. I just hope she likes me. It's weird- I'm not even 9 months in program yet and I'm already on Step 8, getting sponsees, things like that. I'm proud of myself. Or, right now, as proud of myself as I can be while depressed. I'm kinda depressed, kinda numb from not sleeping last night. I hate not sleeping- it really throws me off. Oh well. Hopefully I sleep tonight!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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ANGIEN9's Photo ANGIEN9 Posts: 3,773
1/7/18 8:19 P

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Got up in time for church at 9 am and then came home and went to sleep. Wasn't feeling good. I feel better now. Hope I sleep tonight.

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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Julie, I agree, if you want to, go to the DR. I know a few people who have gone both on vacation and on mission trips and they have loved it!

Rissa, I'm so happy for you getting a car! I know how having no wheels can be!

I'm either starting into a bought of mania or insomnia, but I don't think it is just the insomnia. My body is still sick, but my mind is whirring with things I could be doing. And most of my crafting stuff is still packed from the move. yay. So I'm doing what I can to try to keep busy, but with healthy, mindful things. I've got some homemade bread rising, I'm going to take down the tree today, I will reorganize my Flylady journal, that kind of stuff. But I'm missing the sleep!!

~ Karri
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. ~Psalms 59-16


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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,036
1/6/18 9:00 P

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Carol, now that you know you have PTSD you can figure out things like EMDR (I think that's what it's called) to heal! I know your story- the diagnosis is no surprise!

Heather, I'm sorry you are having vision problems... are you on Topamax? I know that can cause vision problems. Look into the meds to see what might be causing it. I just stopped Geodon, but replaced it with Abilify. My psych tapered me off it, and so far I'm doing okay. I took my last dose on Thursday. Stable so far! Good luck looking for work! It's stressful, so just take it slow, okay?

Angie, good to hear from you! How's the new knee? Good job on the PT!

Julie, I would go to the D.R. if I were you- it's a great chance to get away! I can't take a vacation right now, but I would love to go there one day. It can be a rough place, but do your research and you should be fine. It's a beautiful country! Keep writing... find something to keep you going. How's the book? I haven't heard you talk about it in a while.

-------------

I'm doing good. Happy, but still physically sick. I have a cold. It's progressing as normal. I should be good in a couple of days. I am just full of good news right now! So, my birthday is on Feb 3rd, and what I wanted for my birthday was on sale, so I got it- a new Fitbit! It's a Charge HR, Plum. I got it for like $122 plus tax. Not as good as the $100 Black Friday sale, but still pretty good. I'm happy with it. It was hard for me to do, but I figured I needed to do something nice for me. I got it online, so I get it next week.

Then, I got some more good news- I can start learning how to drive as soon as I want! Yeah, I know. I'm almost 35 and don't have my license. Never had one. For many years I was on Klonopin and other heavy meds and just couldn't focus. Now I can, so I'm going to start practicing driving as soon as my head gets clear from this cold! I plan on getting my license by April 18th, my 1 year anniversary of moving back to LA. Sooner, hopefully, but that's my goal post.

Then.. the big news. IF. IF. the stock market continues to do well and I have my license, well, then in April my belated birthday present will be... get this... A CAR!!! A used car, but a car! I'm excited, as excited as a sick person suffering from depression can be, which in my case is excited on the inside but coughing on the outside lol. I'm really hoping things work out for the best!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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1/5/18 10:10 A

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Heather--hang in there. I'm having a rough time myself.

My boss offered me a chance to go to a resort in the Dom Rep. I haven't been on a vacation for such a long time--not even a couple miles away-- I was excited. I told E, and the first thing he said was, "isn't that a dirty country?" Thanks for the positive response. Then later, "Gee, the hurricane went through there, huh". I want to go, but not if he thinks like that the whole time.

I've gained more weight. Started writing, though. On one of my last resorts to fighting this depression--sometimes I don't know what keeps me going.

Julie

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1/4/18 11:35 P

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Got a new phone. Working better than the old one. Had Physical Therapy today. She said I am doing great. I can really feel it tonight. (Had knee replacement surgery on November 22.) Warming up here this week. Maybe some of the snow will melt.

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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1/4/18 10:24 P

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Still hanging in there, same thing/new year. One thing that has changed is that today I dropped off my resume (and the dreaded cover letter) for a part time job on the local college campus. It would be the first time I have worked in almost five years. Scared ****less that I might actually get the job. Beating myself up for not being right for the job. Beating myself up more because it took me this long to be ready to go back to work again. Probably won't get the job, but I am actually trying now instead of simply poking around aimlessly.

So I am scared. So much to do around the house and no gumption to get it done. Should have been done two years ago. I am panicking for no good reason other than PANIC! ANXIETY! etc.

Doesn't help that I dropped down my dosage of Geodon in an effort to see if it is affecting my night vision. No, it was not under the supervision of my doc. I am desperate and need to find out if it is the culprit before I go in for my next vision appointment later this month So far it does not look good for the vision and I think that my body probably needs the Geodon, despite not having any withdrawal problems. Not the smartest idea I have had, I know, but I feel it was necessary. Upping my dosage back up this week if I don't see any significant change in my sight.

Anyway, here's to a better year than last!
--Heather



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1/4/18 3:40 P

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Good afternoon!

Four and a half months after Hurricane Harvey I have kitchen cabinets being installed today and tomorrow. Then we will wait for counter tops, sink/faucet and hopefully deal with our bathrooms later in the month. By the time all is said and done, it will have taken months to recover from #harveystillsucks though we will still be caulking and painting and continuing cleaning up dust from the sheetrock being pulled out and then replaced. It's madness.

2017 was an awful year and I was talking to my FNP about the nightmares, being so angry and flipping out every time it rains, plus other things that happened. She said that no one would be able to tolerate the trauma, stress and pressure of everything that happened this year. She said without a doubt I have PTSD. Well, okay then. Hell, the dogs probably have PTSD too.

Julie, have you looked for chair exercises? They wouldn't be what you would call strenuous or necessarily a huge aerobic workout, but at least it would be something. Strength training would also be an option. Maybe yoga? it might at least be calming and soothing to your spirit. Qi Gong would also be good. I know there is a chair Tai Chi DVD on Amazon because I looked at buying it. Perhaps you could find other DVDs on Amazon.



Carol - Houston, TX (it's weird to see this and not Kaua'i, Hawaii)

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~Be careful what you water your dreams with.
Water them with worry & fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism & solutions, you will cultivate success ~Lao Tzu


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SASSYCATMAMA40's Photo SASSYCATMAMA40 Posts: 399
1/4/18 9:33 A

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Stay warm!

I'm trying to find time to exercise. I work 9 hours a day, drive 30 minutes to and from work, have no computer or wi-fi at home, and live in a little house where there isn't much room (so those aerobic DVDs are out). Fighting SAD means getting up early in the morning before work just isn't a go right now. Any ideas?

Julie

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1/4/18 4:34 A
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Hope everyone had a great New Year! We had a very quite early one.

Cheers to having a great 2018!! This is your year!



~ Karri
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. ~Psalms 59-16


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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 15,314
1/3/18 5:22 P

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Happy New Year to all. Hope that 2018 brings many blessings, personal peace and joy!! Deb emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Deb
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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,036
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Here's the chat room for January! Hope you have a great 2018!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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